So it's been a week and a day since my last update. i figured you guys needed a little something something. so here it is... enjoy, of course

xoxoxo

I roll my eyes and sigh, "We did at Starbucks. Remember that?"

"I know but I don't feel like you understood."

"Oh, I understood perfectly and this is how I reacted. Did you expect me to forget everything and say 'Oh, Erin, I love you still. Even though you broke my heart.' I don't think so. You should know me better than that."

She sighs. Why the hell is she sighing? I'm the one blowing off Spencer just to talk to her about nothing. Hey, I should be inside with Spencer. "Exactly. I do know you. And I do know that you love me still and--"

I scoff, "You have quite the imagination on you, huh? Pretty big ego, too. I'm not still in love--"

"Tell me you haven't thought about me ever since that day at Starbucks."

I stay silent. If I said I didn't, I'd be lying. If I said I did then... that would send my world on a crazier roller coaster than it already is.

"So we do need to talk, huh? Ashley, I just need an hour with you. You remember all the fun we used to have in one little hour don't you? Don't you miss that at all?" She's talking about our explorations of each other's bodies.

I shake my head, "Look, I'm busy. I really have to go. I'll ta--" I cut myself off. I cant say talk to you later because she's gonna see it as I expect to talk to her later, "Bye."

"You love me and I love you." she says.

"Stop." I say angrily into the phone before pressing that beautiful red button.

I place my phone on the white table next to me. I sigh, turn around and lean against it. It's really sturdy. From this angle I can see Spencer sitting on the couch. I cross my arms. She looks so delicate and sweet and... great. She's so beautiful.

I guess she senses that I'm looking at her because she looks at me through the window and smiles. Her eyes are so electrifying. I smile back.

Why am I so afraid of being with her? This girl that couldn't and wouldn't smash a fly. This innocent girl. Oh, wait, I know exactly why. I'm afraid I might hurt her, not the other way around. I roll my eyes at myself, stupid Ashley.

I grab my phone, slip it in my pocket and walk back in the door. I make sure to lock it behind me before returning to Spencer on the couch. I sit just as close to her as I did before but I don't grab her hand. "Who was it?" she asks.

I bite my lip, "My mom." Oops, lie. If Spencer stays around me long enough she's gonna realize that my nervous habit is biting my lip. "She wanted to know what I was doing t-t-tonight." I'm stuttering, ugh. Why am I losing all my confidence around her?

"Okay." she says smiling, "So what are you doing tonight?"

"You mean who am I doing tonight and I don't know. I was hoping a certain blonde hair, blue eyed bombshell." I smirk. There's my confidence coming back.

She rolls her eyes, "Again, in your dreams."

I cock my head to the side and smirk, "You must think I'm talking about you. I was talking about Glen."

Spen's mouth drops which turns my smirk into a full blown grin. She hits me lightly on the knee, "Yeah, right. You were talking about me."

I shrug, "Okay."

She closes her mouth and narrows her eyes at me, "Fine." she crosses her arms and looks away from me.

Aww, she's pouting. I take the grin off my face and put my hand on her knee, "You know I was talking about you."

She still doesn't look at me.

I get really close to her face, like, my eyelashes are millimeters from her cheek, "Spencer." I whisper and she smiles. "You know you want to talk to me. I'm too sexy for you not to." she giggles.

She rolls her eyes eyes and faces me again, "Okay, whatever."

"Exactly." I say.

"So what did your mom say about everything? You never finished telling me because your mom called."

Damn it, I thought she would've forgotten by now. "She said I radiate gay." as Jamie would say.

"Does she know anything about... us?" Spencer asks.

"Um, not really." I don't really know about us if we're talking technical because I don't even know what 'us' is.

"Oh." is all Spencer says. I remember that's the only thing she used to say when I first met her.

I gotta change the subject, "So are you throwing the party tonight?"

Spencer shakes her head, "Not really. Glen is."

"And aren't you his sister? And isn't that you house, too?" I ask slowly.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I agreed with him that we should have it; I didn't."

"So why didn't you stop him?"

Spencer scoffs and rolls her eyes, "When Glen gets an idea, he sticks to it. Especially if it's about a party."

I smile, "Sounds like me."

Spencer smiles, too, "But you could party alone. I've seen you in action."

"You're right." I shrug, "I could but who's all gonna be there anyway?"

"He invited everyone from school. He's on the basketball team so he most likely invited--"

Ugh, "Aiden."

Spencer smiles weakly, "I hope that's okay with you."

I shake my head, "Not really because wherever Aiden is, the cheerleaders are and wherever there are cheerleaders there's Erin and/or Madison."

Spencer slaps her forehead with her hand, "I forgot, I'm sorry. Well, we don't have to go. We can go to the park or something."

I smile and shake my head, "No, it's okay, don't worry too much about it. I can handle them."

She looks at me then down and starts playing with her fingers. Her nervous habit. "I'm just--"

I know what she's getting at, "Spencer, Erin and I are over."

Spencer looks up at me, "It would be okay if you weren't. I mean I don't con--"

I put my hand on her thigh but not too far up, "I'm going with you to the party. Whether you want me to or not. You're stuck with me, sweetheart."

She smiles and blushes, "I guess that sucks for me, huh?"

"Psh, sucks for you? What about me? I'm stuck with Spencer 'Goody two shoes' Carlin, you know what this could do to my rep?" I ask sitting back on the couch.

Spencer smiles and stares at me, "And I have to hang out with Ashley 'I'm so hardcore and gay' Davies."

I smirk and roll my eyes, "And you couldn't be happier now could you?"

Spencer leans into me and whispers, "Not really." and she plants one on me. Heaven on Earth. I cant control myself so I keep kissing her. But no tongue because I think that'd be too much for her to handle. Hell, who am I kidding? That'd be too much for me to handle.

Our kissing goes on for quite some time, it was nice but also funny. I put Spencer on my lap so that she has a leg over each of my thighs. She didn't know where to put her hands. At some point she brushed her hand by my boob and she even uttered sorry, moved her hand quickly and blushed. It was the cutest thing in the world. I guess I have a lot to teach her, huh?

Her phone rings as she's resting her hands on my shoulders and mine on her waist. "You do not have to get that." I say in a quite a daze.

She smiles into my eyes, "I think I might. I am, after all, one of the hostesses of this little shindig."

I stifle a laugh, "Shindig? Spencer, honey, what the hell is a shindig?"

"It's a party. Do you not use that word?" Spencer asks looking completely serious, which makes me want to laugh my ass off. But I don't.

I shake my head from side to side smiling, "I'm afraid not." I move my left hand from her waist to her right cheek, "But that's okay."

Spencer blushes even more and looks down. Her phone rings even louder, "I might want to answer that." She reaches in her purse, that's right next to us and I'm surprise it didn't get smashed, and pulls out her phone.

I take my hand away from her face and grab her phone, "You don't want to. Just ignore it." I look at the caller I.D, it's Glen. I hand the phone back to her, "You can answer it, it's your sexy ass brother."

She smacks my shoulder before answering, "Hey, Glen." she narrows her eyes at me.

I smirk, "You love me." I mouth.

She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to Glen, "Yeah, I'm still coming. Why wouldn't I..." I'm can't really pay attention to what Spencer's saying because, hello, she's fine and she's sitting on my lap. I'm not a pervert or anything, I'm not staring at her boobs. I'm looking at her face, her eyes specifically. Her shade of blue isn't even on the color spectrum. Well, it doesn't matter because I just love the them. Spencer's amazing... so what, I'm sprung. You would be too if she was sitting on your lap.

"Ashley." she says knocking me out of my daze.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Are you ready to go?" she asks smiling.

I shake my head, "Mm-mm."

She chuckles, "Well, we have to go, the party's starting in an hour."

"What? What time is it? How long have we been here?" I ask kinda angry that Spencer and I have to leave just to go hang out with people I hate.

"I'm gonna answer those in order. I said we have to go. It's 7:15 and we've been here for two hours."

"Nah-uh. It doesn't feel like it. Feels more like minutes, not even an hour." I say shocked.

She whispers into my left ear, "Well, it has been. And time flies when you're hanging out with Spencer Carlin." As un-sexy as that sentence was meant to be, just coming out of Spencer's mouth made it seductive.

She stands up and I throw my head back with my eyes closed, "Why?" I say dramatically.

Spencer stands in front of me with her hands on each of her hips, "So you can go get wasted, that's why."

I lift my head up and open my eyes to narrow my eyes at her, "And what if I don't want to get wasted? Would you stay here?"

Spencer shakes her head, still smiling.

"Ugh," I stand up and stretch, "Okay, okay. We'll go."

"Give me a minute, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." she takes a second to look around then her eyes focus back on me, "Where is it exactly?"

I smirk, "Go down that hall and it's the third door on the right."

"Gotcha." she says and skips away. Seriously, she skips away. I totally put some pep in her step. I smile at that fact. I stretch.

I get a crazing as I stretch. A craving for a cigarette, I haven't had one all day or week as a matter of fact. Okay so I have a lot of bad habits: cigarettes, pot and booze. But I have cut down a lot from the way I used to be. Like my junior year I was nothing but a drunk ashtray, for real. Now I only light a cigarette every now and then when I have cravings, it's not a daily thing or nothing. And for the pot, I don't do it anymore. It's not worth it. I've seen the effects of it and I don't ever want to be that vulnerable around anyone anymore because when you smoke you're always looking for some other people to do it with you; even people you don't know because it just seems stupid to get... stupid all by yourself with no one to watch you. But that's just my opinion.

As for drinking... I like it, I just don't like the aftermath. The dancing elephant. You know the one that dances on your head in the morning? Yeah, I can live without that. Definitely.

I'm having a really bad craving. I don't want to have to walk all the way out to the car to get one. I'll go check the kitchen drawers, my dad smokes. Maybe he left a few.

I walk into the kitchen and check the drawer on the right of the fridge, closest to the door. I see screwdrivers even though my dad hasn't worked on a damn thing in his life. Not the handyman type; unless it involves the human cranium.

Anyway, after rummaging through about two other drawers I finally find a loner and a lighter. Maybe there is a god, hmm?

Right as I finish my first puff Spencer comes out of the bathroom, "You smoke cigarettes?"

I hold the cig away from me, "Not cigarettes as in plural. I only smoke one at a time." I smile hoping that was a cute enough joke for her not to get to angry at me.

She looks at the cigarette then back up at my face, "I didn't know you smoked. "

I inhale the nicotine then exhale as I speak, "Well, it's not really a habit it's more of a..." I need to think of something clever, "More like seeing a shooting star. I rarely do it."

"I couldn't tell when we were kissing." Spencer says scrunching up her nose.

"What's up with the face?"

Spencer looks at my right hand, the one holding the cigarette, "Kinda gross."

I lift my right hand up so that it's eye level, "My hand or the cig?"

Spencer rolls her eyes, "Which do you think?"

I roll my eyes as well and grind the cigarette into the chopping board on the counter, "Happy?" I ask. I didn't even kill my craving with those two puffs. I just dazed it.

"You didn't have to put it out, you could've finished it. I was just telling you how I feel about it. That was probably your last one, right? Now you're probably gonna start feigning for one." Spencer says smiling.

I walk over to her, "I'm addicted, okay? I can stop, cold turkey, at anytime I want."

Spencer shrugs and rolls her eyes.

I scoff, "I could. I'll do it now. No more cigs from now on."

"Okay, pinkie promise?" she says extending her little pinkie out, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I can do it. I never break promises." I grab her whole hand, not just her pinkie and lean in close to her, "No pinkie promise. Let's kiss on it." I kiss her on the lips.

She smiles, "Well, now you definitely can't back out now. And..."

"And what?" I ask.

"You might want to chew some Orbit, I'm not to fond of kissing ashtrays."

I let go of her hand then roll my eyes, "Are you ready to go?"

She walks over to the couch an picks up her purse and phone, "Yes."

I grab my keys, the cigarette and the lighter then head for the door. I open it, "Come on."

"I thought you just said you were gonna stop, why are you taking--"

I cut her off, "I'm gonna toss it in the ocean, jeez."

She walks up to me, "Don't throw it in the ocean." She reaches her hand out to me, "Here. Give it to me."

I have such a dirt mind. The first thing that popped into my head was not her talking about the cigarette, "I'd love to, are you sure you're ready for that so soon?"

She rolls her eyes but smiles, "The cigarette. Give me the cigarette."

"Oh." I smile and place the cigarette between her index finger and her 'fuck you' finger.

"Thank you." she says as she walks out the door.

"No problem." I say watching her walk out of the door and towards the car. I have to keep reminding myself that Spencer has a personality, not just a banging body. That personality that I look forward to every waking moment. That's basically the only thing that's stopping me from trying to get in her—hey, I wanna do something. I want to dress Spencer one day. Maybe Friday I'll ask her if I can pick out her outfit—oh! I'll dress her in my clothes. I think she'll look just brilliant.

There's a gay guy in me somewhere.

Ashley's got a bad habit and Spencer doesn't like it, it wont be that big of deal will it?

And, omg, what about this party? things are bound to unfold right?

xoxo