Chapter four
Author's notes: Sorry for the delay folks. That annoying thing known as "Real Life" interfered with my plans of posting new chapters regularly. But now im back with more insanity, OOCness and mayhem.
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"So, are you really OK Colonel?" Sheppard took a plate from the stack and started walking towards food line. McKay catched up with him carrying his own plate.
"Yeah, im fine." Rodney snorted at this.
"Sure, you say this every time, even when you are leaking blood and broken bones stick from you." Colonel rolled his eyes.
"Do you see any blood and bones this time, McKay?" Scientist actually stopped to give him once – over.
"No, but what about internal bleeding? No ruptured spleen, or something else? I heard you were barely able to walk" Sheppard stopped too, to give his friend annoyed look.
"Its just a bruise Rodney, i've had worse after sparring with Ronon. And do you really think Carson would release me in less than an hour if there'd be something wrong with me?" McKay shrugged and begin to load his plate with various foodstuffs.
"No, i dont think so, but his voodoo magic is rather unreliable. I can recall one situation when you were 'fine' and Carson released you right away. Next thing we knew, you turned all blue and scaly and creepy. Maybe he knows how to make voodoo dolls and shear sheeps, but diagnosing people? Ha! Can you believe he had the gall to say that my leg cramps are caused by me being too heavy? Its clearly sign of not enough potassium in my blood, not weight problems – which i dont have. Im in better shape than this sheep herder. He's doing exactly nothing in his sterile lair, just patting heads Ronon and Teyla busted during training. Im sure he'll cry if he had to go off-world, while i..." At this point Colonel completely tuned out his rambling friend. His gaze skimmed various dishes looking for his favorite fruit. Young Marine on KP duty moved closer smiling at his CO.
"Can i help you, Sir?" Sheppard looked up distractedly.
"Yes Corporal, actually you can. I'd like an apple, and i cant find any." Smile dissapeared from soldiers face, and Marine shifted with obvious unease.
"Uh, we dont have any apples today Sir. But i can bring you bowl of peaches in syrup, or sliced pineapple." Colonel felt his 'CO instinct' tingle. No apples? And why he was offered processed stuff from the can? Something definitely was up in the kitchen, but what?
"Well, i dont really want anything from the can today. What about orange? Or grapefruit?" He drawled casually. Corporal, his name tag identified him as Cipriano, swallowed and shoot panicked glance towards kitchen.
"Umm, they are...uh, unavailable at this moment Colonel! What about juice? We have apple juice too if you want some, Sir." Unavailable, my butt. Sheppard levelled his best commanding glare at the Marine.
"Corporal Cipriano." Young soldier immediately stiffened at full attention. "Sir!"
With well hidden amusement Sheppard watched beads of sweat forming at kid's forehead. Sometimes his reputation as somewhat loose cannon was useful, and at times even entertaining.
"Next time you want to bullshit me Corporal, do so after dinner. Or even better, send someone who knows how to lie to me. Now tell me what happened in the kitchen."
...
"Sarge, what do you mean by 'we dont have any fruits left'?" John Sheppard stared at Master Sargeant Nikolakis incredulously. NCO in charge of kitchen looked ashamed.
"Thats just it, Sir. They are all gone." McKay, who wouldnt go away since he heard about problems in the kitchen snorted with contempt.
"Ah yes. Effectiveness of the military at its finest. If you cant keep track of our food supplies, then what chance we have with Wraiths?" Sheppard shot a glare to shut his friend up, and turned back to Nikolakis. Huge Marine with more than two decades of experience looked down at his feet like kid waiting for scolding.
"OK Sarge." Colonel started calmly. "Two weeks ago Daedalus brought to Atlantis new supplies, including many crates of fresh fruits and vegetables that were put in cold storage – along with products we got from our trading partners here, in Pegasus. Correct?" Nikolakis nodded silently, obviously still too ashamed to look into his CO eyes. Sheppard fought back urge to raise his voice. He'd seen too many officers that would curse the paint off the walls by now, he had no desire to become like them. "Tell me what happened then. Was there any problems with our freezers?" Sargeant raised the head, but before he had a chance to reply Rodney McKay unceremoniously poked Sheppard's arm.
"Oh, so now its equipment malfunction Colonel? Engineering is responsible for maintaining all appliances, and they answer to me. I would know instantly if there'd be problems with kitchen equipment. Dont try to lay the blame...OW!" Canadian jumped away with a yelp when Sheppard forcefully poked him back.
"Im not blaming anyone Rodney...yet. I just want to know the facts. Now, Sarge – you were saying?" Marine looked warily at sneering McKay, then turned to his superior.
"Well, Sir. It kinda was problem with cold storage room." McKay gave a loud and smug "Aha!", but wisely kept his distance. Both soldiers ignored this outburst.
"Continue Sargeant." Calmly said Sheppard.
"We just found about this today morning, Sir." Nikolakis started his explanation. "These little thieves found their way into ventilation ducts, loosened one of lattices covering exits and got into storage rooms. We lost half of fruits, vegetables, flour products and cereals. And other half was, uh... compromised, Sir!" Colonel blinked twice. Thieves? Vent ducts? He decided that while Sargeant Nikolakis was a good soldier, and excellent kitchen manager, he definitely was not sharpest tool in the shed.
"Sarge, who exactly broke into storage area?" Nikolakis scowled darkly, balling huge hands into fists.
"Those damn rabbits, Sir!" Sheppard groaned and started to massage his temples. He could feel killer headache coming his way.
"Great. Just great." McKay was definitely not happy too. "First our computers, now our food. What next, our clothes?" His team leader waved him quiet impatiently.
"Sarge, you've said that we lost half of our stock, and the other half was compromised – what does that mean? Can we recover at least part of it?" Marine vehemently shook his head.
"Negative, Sir! Besides, its gone too by now. We called Doc Beckett, because regulations clearly state that CMO must be noticed immediately when food reserves become contaminated. He ordered all compromised products to be immediately destroyed. My men cleaned storage area, and are dumping everything into ocean right now." Sheppard frowned, he hated when his men were trying to talk around important informations. And Master Sargeant definitely put too much effort to dodge questions pertaining to nature of mysterious factor affecting their food.
"Contaminated? How exactly our food was compromised?" Nikolakis sighed, then stared straight ahead with stony face and gravelly delivered the answer.
"Droppings, Sir!"