Chapter five

John Sheppard and Rodney McKay stood on the opposite sides of corridor, leaning against the walls and looking at each other. "Droppings." Said Sheppard flatly. "Ewww." Responded McKay with revulsion all over his face. Sheppard started massaging his temples again.

"How many bunnies kitchen staff chased from the food storage according to Nikolakis?"

"Twenty...at least."

"And how the hell twenty little animals could eat that damn much? And leave truckload of dung everywhere?"

"Uh. Good metabolism? They might be Dex's distant relatives, you know?"

"I dare you to repeat this in front of Ronon."

"No thanks. Suicidal stunts are your forte Colonel."

"Cute McKay. Anyway, how many of these beasts we have in city now?"

"If Miko told me the truth, over fifty. Can you believe she was giddy saying this? And when exactly they managed to form a club of rabbits-breeders? Unbelievable."

"Right now im ready to believe in flying pigs, Rodney."

"They breed fast, thats for sure."

"Yup. From six to almost sixty in few weeks. Fertile little bastards."

"Oh no!"

"What?"

"You wont like this."

"Hit me anyway, it cant get much worse."

'Oh yes Colonel, it can."

"McKay!"

"OK, OK. But remember, you've been warned. Tribbles."

Sheppard stopped rubbing his head and incredulously looked at his friend. Rodney grimly stared back. "You're shitting me!"

"Why? Im sure you remember this episode of "Star Trek". Sweet, cuddly and harmless animals find their way into space station. Everyone likes them. They eat, they reproduce, and reproduce, and reproduce more. Im telling you John, we've found Pegasus version of Tribbles." There was no good reply for this, and silence reigned in corridor for quite a while. Then Rodney started chuckling. John looked at him curiously. "Care to share a joke? I could use some laugh now."

"Sure Sheppard. Do you know that we actually do have some vegetables left?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Hoga fruits."

"These that look like cucumber but taste a bit like onion?"

"Exactly. Go figure, not even our voracious little vermins are stupid enough to eat this crap."

"Careful Rodney. We have four weeks until Daedalus next supply run. After a month on MRE's and canned food even hoga will look good."

"We need to get some fresh food from our trading partners."

"Yeah. And find a way to curb demographic explosion of space bunnies."

"You know, this time your method of shooting first, not asking later might be best way to deal with this plague."

"Nuh uh, McKay. Elizabeth already looks at me like im a murderer, even if i was sole victim in her office. If i'd utter a word about opening a hunting season, she'll send my butt back to Earth before you can say 'McMurdo'. Believe me, Elizabeth's not on our side in this case."

"Are you doing these things intentionally?"

"What things?"

"Following James T. Kirk, Sheppard. He sat on a Tribble too."

"I didn't sat on Elizabeth's pets!"

"Good for you. In "Star Trek" it was just a prop – you'd made real mess."

"Bite me, McKay! And stop talking about Tribbles, you're creeping me out."

"Fine. But what do we do, Sheppard?"

"Hmm. First thing: grab Carson and get in touch with someone from Biology – maybe they can find some sort of drug that will cool down Tribble-wannabes libido. If it wont work, we'll go to Athalia, and ask natives how they deal with furballs. That forest fire should be over long ago, we should reach their village in no time."

"And food?"

"Heh, there is a saying that armies march on their stomachs. You certainly think with yours, Rodney."

"And you are a riot Colonel. I cant think when im hungry, and hello, hypoglycaemic here."

"All right, all right. I'll start sending teams on food runs today. Now go, find Beckett."

McKay nodded at his friend and walked off in direction of closest transporter. Sheppard rolled his head trying to ease some tension from the neck. He was tired, sore and still hungry. But he also had many things to do. No rest for the wicked, indeed. Colonel tapped his headset. "Teyla, Lorne, this is Sheppard. Meet me in my office, we have work to do. And Major? Bring new package of requisition forms – we're gonna need them." Two confirmations came immediately, and Colonel pushed himself off the wall. Just as he was ready to head for transporter his ears caught sound of quiet crunching. Peering around the corner Sheppard froze. It was another bunny – fat, fluffy and happily munching at big, red, shiny apple. Colonel snarled quietly, and his right hand twitched towards sidearm on his thigh. Big ears moved, and alien rabbit meet his look. For a long moment man and animal glared at each other with identical hate and disgust. Finally rabbit turned slowly and scurried away with apple held between teeth. With silent curse Sheppard banged his forehead into wall and started counting to thirty.