Chapter seven

Fo a moment John Sheppard stood frozen in the front of Stargate. Finally, very slowly, he looked down at his feet.

"Crap."

"Indisputably." Agreed Rodney McKay waving a hand in front of his face and slightly backing away from his team leader. Ronon sniggered at disbelief written all over Sheppard's face. Teyla just smirked evilly.

"Excuse me, Colonel?" Sheppard raised his head and zeroed on young Airman standing couple of steps from him with a brush and shovel in hands. Soldier shifted uneasily under his glare.

"Uh, i was just about to remove... this, when you dialled in, Sir. If you'd move a bit i'll... um, clean it immediately. Colonel, Sir." Sheppard took a slow, deep breath. Just as he was about to say couple of choice words to his subordinate sound of rustling caught his attention. Even before he turned his head in direction of the noise John knew what he'll see. And sure enough, there was one of big Ancient pots with green bush growing inside. One of alien rabbits stood upright, supporting himself on pot's edge and with gusto plucked leaf after leaf off the branches. As if sensing his stare space bunny stopped eating and meet his eyes. If Sheppard ever had any doubts about bunnies being atrocious little bastards, they all evaporated when animal, still staring in his eyes, raised long tail and delivered another load of black 'marbles' on his city's pristine floor. In this very moment something inside Colonel snapped, and he felt black, cold fury rising in his chest.

"Colonel Sheppard? May i proceed, Sir?" John looked at still waiting Airman, and gave him a smile usually reserved only for one Acastus Kolya. Kid blanched and involuntarily took a step back. Sheppard's smile widened by milimeters.

"No, you may not, Airman." He said coldly. His teammates tensed alarmed by his flat voice. Rodney inched cautiously closer and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Uh, hey Sheppard? Its just a bit of of dirt, right? No need to go ballistic. Do you remember that grass planet with Ancient outpost surrounded by huge herds of buffalo things? We all smelled like stable and ruined our shoes there. Im sure yours will be fine with a bit of work...and ,uh, shoe polish." Airman's head bobbed up and down vigorously.

"Absolutely Sir! Just give me your boots and i'll clean them in no time." Still with a smile plastered on his face Sheppard turned his head to look at McKay. Canadian gasped and hastily took his hand away. Colonel's eyes looked like twin black holes absorbing all light that came too close.

"Its very nice of you, Airman." Sheppard started talking in eerily calm voice. "But i have things to do right now. Chuck!" Technician's head popped up from behind row of monitors.

"Sir?"

"Give me a city wide, Sargeant." Chuck blinked at his commander's official tone and disappeared. Couple of seconds later his voice announced." You're on, Colonel!"

"Thank you Chuck." Replied Sheppard and tapped his headset. When all speakers crackled he started speaking.

"Attention all personnel – this is Sheppard." Not quite Elizabeth's radio voice, but still not too shabby. "All members of military forces report immediately to the Gate Room in full combat gear. This is not a drill. I repeat: this is not a drill." Just before severing the connection something crossed his mind. "And somebody bring me a shotgun!" His teammates stared at him with wide eyes. Teyla, her glee at John's predicament long gone, swallowed and tried to smile.

"John, please dont do anything rash. Like Rodney said, its only a bit of dirt. Im sure this young soldier is very sorry. Please, forgive him." Huh? What is she talking about...Weak whimper brought his attention back to Airman still rooted to the same spot of the floor. Soldier was ashen and visibly trembling. Sheppard rolled his eyes.

"Im not going to have you shot, Airman. Didn't you hear my orders? Go gear up!" Kid almost sobbed, stuttered "Yes Sir!" and made himself scarce. Sheppard made mental note to not send him off-world anytime soon. By this time soldiers and Marines of all nationalities represented in Atlantis began to pour into Gate Room. One of the first was Major Lorne, still fastening his gear in full run. To Major's credit he didnt even blink at the sight of his CO standing in the middle of the room in soiled boots and unreadable face.

"Sir! What's the situation, are we under attack?" Lorne was casting quick glances in all directions, already looking for trouble.

"Not immediately Lorne." Replied Sheppard distractedly. Elizabeth appeared on top of the stairs and with puzzled face headed in his direction.

"John? Whats going on? Why are you gathering your men?" 's voice trailed off when she noticed how focused her military commander was. And his eyes...Elizabeth shuddered and hugged herself, she felt like temperature in the Gate Room dropped by several degrees. "John? What is it?"

Sheppard quirked quick, distracted smile at her. "Just a small pest infestation Elizabeth. Dont worry, everything is under control." All his previous worries about her attitude towards him, or even being sent back to Earth disappeared in cold fire he felt inside his heart. He knew this fury well, and revelled in it. Last time he felt like this his body count exceeded sixty, and he felt absolutely no remorse for killing all those Genii soldiers. Again it was time to regain control of his city, and his life. If she was going to kick him out of Atlantis for his actions...oh well, all good things in his life ended sooner rather than later, anyway. He concentrated on approaching woman in Marine Corps uniform. Staff Sargeant Estevez sharply presented combat shotgun to him.

"Loaded, Sir!" Colonel nodded, taking the weapon.

"Thank you Sarge." Estevez nodded back at him and marched away to join her team with precision that would make any drill instructor proud. Sheppard chambered a round with very satysfying clatter.

"All right, people! Listen up!" Colonel's shout immediately silenced all noise in Gate Room. All eyes focused on Atlantis Military Commander standing in front of his men in rigid, confident stance.

"Atlantis has been infiltrated by hostile elements." He started speaking in calm, measured words. "They destroyed our supplies. Our communications and chain of command has been compromised too. But its as far as they can go, because we are stopping this incursion here and now. This city is my home, and i know many of you consider Atlantis their home as well. Its time to get our home back! It wont be easy and pleasant task – but im sure i can count on every one of you." Pin dropped on the floor would be easily heard in spacious room. Sound of rustling leaves made by still eating space bunny seemed loud as an avalanche. Sheppard smiled cruelly. "Ladies and gentelmen..." Colonel pivoted, shouldered his shotgun and fired in one smooth move. Rabbit, bush and pot disappeared under onslaught of high-calibre buckshots. Everyone present jumped at sudden explosion, and Sheppard turned back to them with wide manic smile. "...its rabbit season!" Gate Room erupted into chaos around him and Colonel started laughing. Headache bothering him since forever disappeared, he felt light, alive and exhilarated. Spotting another furry pest sneaking by, he fired again and triumphally grinned when cloud of lead turned the rabbit into mince meat.

"Take no prisoners!" He shouted over the canonade. Not like his soldiers needed encouragement.

"Hey guys! Look."

Gunshots, shouts and terrified squeaks came from every direction. Thick cloud of gray smoke filled entire room.

"Sheppard?"

"Space bunnies must die!"

"Oh my God! Carson, you quack!" Rodney's voice was surprisingly close, he'd expected his friend to be far away from flying lead by now.

"Dont shout here Rodney. Whats the matter, lad?" Beckett? What Doc was doing here - was someone injured?

"We think Colonel is waking up Carson." Colonel? Waking up?

"Is he, luv? Lemme take a look." Physician's brogue was so close – why he couldn't see him? It was not safe! John started struggling, trying to see through the smoke.

"Carson! You told us he will be OK, you...you...voodoo charlatan! And now he's brain damaged!" Finally he was making progress. Gray fog surrounding him thinned, and he was able to see Beckett...standing above him? Nose-to-nose with enraged Rodney? All sounds around changed too – from gunshots to all too familiar beeping...what the heck was he doing in Infirmary?

"Rodney, all scans clearly show no signs of permanent damage in Colonel's brain. At the worst he has a concussion – and it should be fairly mild one." Concussion? That explained nasty headache hammering at his temples again. But how he went from rabbit hunting to being under Beckett's care? Distinctly 'Ronon'esque' growl coming from McKay brought his wavering attention back to arguing pair.

"Im telling you Carson, his brain turned into mush while you were playing with your dolls and needles. If you'd be here you would hear him babbling complete nonsense." Beckett gave long suffering sight and rolled his eyes skyward.

"Like many patients with head injury. And it doesnt mean anything, mind you. I'll have you know that sometimes even absolutely healthy people babble too – you are excellent example." Rodney turned crimson at the insult.

"Mock me all you want, you sheep herder. But i cant wait to see you explaining to Elizabeth why Sheppard is a vegetable!" Beckett's face turned into interesting shade of red too, and he looked very close to grabbing McKay and shaking him until physicist's teeth rattled.

"Good Lord, Rodney! John is NOT brain damaged! Why do you keep saying this!"

"Because he thinks he's Elmer freaking' Fudd!"