And here we go again.
Paula went on to tell me that I was a disease to this earth, plaguing women with temptation and damnation. Like it's all my fault that other girls decide to fall for other girls. What the fuck? How is it my fault that some people on the opposite side of the world fall in love? I don't even know. Fucked up logic if you ask me. How did Spencer come from that woman?
I argued with her asking how it's fair to damn someone to hell because of who they fall in love with? I also asked why god contradicted himself by saying he loved everyone on earth except for the gay people he created.
She told me I was disgusting and told me to get out of her house with my questioning of the great man in the holy, fucking, sky.
She can kiss my ass.
I pull over on the side of the road. I'm twenty minutes away from Jamie. I look at my phone 7 missed calls and 2 text messages. I look at the messages.
Bby, let me know you're alright. I love you. -Spen. Says the first one and the second one is from her as well. Pls, talk to me. I'm sorry about my mother. I yelled at her and walked out, I'm sitting at ur house. Ky let me in. I'll be here waiting for you to cool off. I'm so sorry. -Spen.
It occurs to me that I'm taking this out on her. I shut down and didn't bother to stick around and see if she was alright. I'm being selfish right now by not letting her in on my thoughts and feelings. I have to treat this relationship different from all the others if I want this to work. And so help me, I wanna make this work.
I text her back to let her know I just needed to cool off and that if she doesn't mind I'd like to talk. In less than a second I get a call, "Hello?" I say into my phone. I lay my head back on the headrest.
"Baby, are you sure you're okay?" is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.
I sigh, "Yeah, she just infuriates me. I know that's your mom and all but she doesn't respect me so I don't see the point of respecting her. It's ridiculous."
"I know, I know." Spencer says softly.
"I'm sorry I left. And didn't answer my phone or phone calls. I just needed to cool off. I'm a hot head. I didn't meant to take it out on you, though." I say feeling guilty after the words leave my mouth.
"No, Ash, don't apologize. This is how you work. I know, it's okay. I'm okay with it until you learn that you can talk to me about it. Until you understand you have me to talk to about everything that bothers you. Like my mother, of course." I sense the silliness in her tone.
I smile, turn the car around and start driving back to my house, "I'm turning around now to come get you."
"Or we can just stay in and watch TV if you want. At your house?" Spencer questions.
I nod even though she cant see it through the phone line, "Or we can do that," I sigh because I just have to say it, "You're great, you know that?"
She giggles, "Now I do."
"Good because someone should tell you that everyday of your life. I nominate myself for the role." I'm back to my hilarious self.
"Uh, I don't know. There are other contenders up for the award, we'll see who wins." Spencer continues the silly banter.
We talk on the phone until I get back to my house. I look across the street to see the Carlin's cars are all gone. I wonder if they're out looking for Spencer. Spencer's dad probably thinks I'm the devil now since his wife hates my guts.
"Hey, you." I hear Spencer's voice call to me.
I turn around and look at my front door. She's standing there looking like her usual stunning self. Wearing her adorable smile, "Hey." I say with a smile as I walk over to her.
Before I get a chance she kisses me and wraps her arms around my waist as I close the door behind us, "I missed you."
I smile into our kiss, "I saw you literally not even an hour ago."
She shrugs as I place my arms around her neck and rub her right ear with my thumb and index finger, "Doesn't mean I still couldn't have missed you, right?"
I roll my eyes and give her a quick peck on the lips, "No need to miss me. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You're screwed now."
Her eyes turn dark and her smile is now a smirk, "I'm okay with getting screwed, trust me."
Whoa. How. Hot. Was. That. I'm totally speechless.
She notices this and laughs hard, "Can't handle sexpot Spencer right now?"
I feel a blush creep up on my cheeks, "No, I can't." I say quietly.
"Aw," Spencer kisses me quickly on the lips, "You're blushing. I think I deserve some type of points for making that happen."
I shrug, "Sure, why not? A thousand points for the Spencer. Happy?"
She rolls her eyes as she grabs my hands and we walk together to the couch in the living room. She pushes me down on the couch first then she sits practically on top of me. I got no problems with this, trust that.
She intertwines our hands and then picks up the remote, "What you feel like getting into tonight? Some real l word?"
I look at her and tilt my head to the side, "I can get into plenty of things. Television wise, though, Real L word's fine."
She kisses me on the cheek then rests her head on my shoulder as she turns to the On Demand.
Spencer and I sit on the couch for the next 3 hours just comfortably silent. Laughing, kissing occasionally, so this is what I've been missing in a companion. Someone that I can just sit and rot my brain with. This is great.
Spen sits up and stretches, "Oh, I'm so sleepy."
I follow suite and stretch just as she had done, "I know right? Let's go to sleep." I stand up.
"I should probably go home." She says pouting as she stands all up in my face.
"No, you can't leave now," I grab onto both of her hips and shake them lightly, "It's just now getting good."
She smiles and kisses me on the cheek, "I'm probably gonna be grounded."
"So, why not just enjoy the time you have with me before your evil mother tears us apart?" I ask.
She giggles, "Fine, you've convinced me. Let me call my dad and let him now that I have to work on a project with Kyla tonight. You think she'll play along?" Spencer asks innocently.
"I'll make her if she doesn't." I will murder Kyla's face if she messes this up for me. Really, I will. Blood or not.
She places one of her soft hands on the side of my face, "My knight in shining armor. Let me go make this call, okay?"
I nod as she removes her hand away from my face. I watch her walk away into another room. I look around the living room. Life's pretty good right now.
It's just too good for words. Well, besides the evil bitch mom that hates my guts. Eh, minor detail.
About a month has passed since the dinner fiasco. Yes, Paula dragon still hates my Spencer Lovin' guts with a the burning passion of a thousand suns. I've gotten over it. There are always gonna be people on this planet and in this life that aren't gonna approve of what I'm about. That's cool. As long as my significant other and myself are alright with what I do then I don't think anyone else matters. Well, there's Kyla, my mom and Jamie. But besides that, what else do I need?
As for Spencer and I, she hasn't been letting the mom situation effect us. It's just gonna be a hurdle for later to face since there's no need to do it now unless we want more stress. I mean, she does lie to her mom when she spends the night. Tells her that she's working on homework with my twin. That's mostly true because they're working on going to college and filling out applications together. I don't feel left out, college doesn't seem like me. There is a little part of me that wants to go just to try it out. Little part, nothing will come of it though.
Another thing, Spencer and Madison are becoming friends again. I cannot get rid of her. She's like that annoying cowlick that you just cant get to go away. Madison, the annoying cowlick. And where there's Madison there's Erin. I've been spending some time with her. Nothing too heavy, though, like movies or Starbucks twice a week. She's been good, in the sense that she's not trying to get in my pants or get back with me; could be because she's got someone new. I like it.
Prom's coming out so the girls have been chatting like hens. So, I've been stuck hanging with the guys because I'm not into the whole girly thing too much.
Right now, I'm sitting with Glen, Kyla's boyfriend, Aiden, Madison's boyfriend and Erin's new girlfriend, Terry. She hates me by the way. She's insecure about what Erin and I used to have. Why can't all girls be like Spencer?
I'm staring at Spencer while she goes over color schemes at the table across the quad. I stick my lip out and mouth that I miss her.
She smiles and mouths the same thing back to me.
Madison looks at me as she narrows her eyes then flicks me off. She snaps Spencer back into the conversation. I do the same and hear, "Dude, We should wear neon colored tuxes." That brilliant idea comes from Aiden. I know I hate him but he's stupid so I can't hold a grudge for too long. It's kinda like getting mad at a kid who doesn't know any better.
"Yes, dude, yes!" Glen high fives Aiden, "Best idea ever," Glen looks over to me, "You in, Ashley?" He asks.
"Uh, I haven't really given much thought about prom. I didn't think I was gonna go." I say a little hesitant. I think Spencer wants to go. Obviously, she's planning the damn thing.
Glen smacks me on the arm, "You're stupid. You haven't asked, Spence, yet?"
I shrug, "No, it hasn't come up." That's a lie, now that I think about it she's been dropping hints left and right.
He scoffs, "Yeah, right. Spencer's blatantly obvious about everything."
She is. Damn, you, Glen, "Well, have you asked my sister, yet, pansy boy?" I turn it around on him, quick thinking.
He begins to turn red, "Well, I don't—I don't know how to ask her. No moment ever seems right..." he trails off.
I chuckle, "Exactly." I say proud of myself.
Terry jumps in, "Well, I asked Erin while we were having sex. She never says no to anything during sex." She looks at me as she smirks deviously.
Was that supposed to get to me? I don't think it did. I'm just feeling a little disgusted right now, that's all.
I smile back at her, "So... what you're saying is that you had to ask her during sex otherwise you were afraid she was gonna turn you down? Sounds kinda desperate if you ask me." Zinger!
I hear a low growl come from her direction as Glen and Aiden crack up, "You are a bitch, you know that? I mean has anyone ever told you that?"
"Ooh, bitch. You couldn't be more creative and think of something actually worth a breath? I've been told I'm a bitch plenty of times. So, It must be true, right?" I'm just gonna feed her ego.
She shakes her head angrily, "I don't even know how Erin dated you."
I roll my eyes, "Easily. I'm sure you don't wanna know the juicy details, right?"
She stands up and leans over the table as she gets in my face. I do the same, "Keep talking and we're gonna be dancing soon." Who says that?
My smirk grows, "Good, my fists have been a little lonely since the last face I beat in. Make my fucking day."
The lunchroom grows silent and I can feel all eyes on us. We both kick out chairs back and walk around the table to meet each other halfway in the middle. We're face to face now. I can see every imperfection this girl has now. The big one being she's a bitch.
"Do something," She snarls at me.
"Ladies first." I say simply.
We take another step toward one another.
Please hit me. I need an excuse to beat down someone.
Just as she's about to try and take me down Spencer and Erin walk between the middle of us, "Ashley, no fighting, please? I'd like to see you around school so don't go getting yourself suspended."
She makes sense but I'm still looking past her and into Terry's malicious looking eyes, "Yeah, Ash, don't go getting yourself into something you can't handle."
I try to take another step toward her but Spencer grabs both of my hands, "Hey," she says catching my attention. I look down at her, "Please? For me?"
Most deadly words in a relationship. That's how she always gets me. Knowing I'll do anything for her. As long as she knows then.
I blink, "Okay. I'm gonna take a walk." I turn away from her.
She grabs onto my hand, "Can I come with you?" she asks.
I've never had a girl that I was seeing that wanted to walk with me and cool me off. When I've tried to run away from things they'd just let me. Spencer genuinely cares about how I feel. It's a really good feeling to be loved.
I nod with a smile, "Yeah." I say quietly.
We walk out of the quad hand-in-hand. I look over at Spencer as she stares straight ahead. I then look down at out hands. Spencer's never been one to hide what we have. Especially, not at school. It's almost like she's proud of what we have. I am, too, of course. It's just a different thing when someone else is on your same wavelength.
"Something wrong?" she asks. I hadn't noticed we stopped.
I shake my head from side to side, "Not at all."
She raises an eyebrow at me, "Don't be a liar."
I smile, "Nothing, really. I'm just glad we're together."
She looks like she's soaring, "Me, too. Very much, actually."
I study her. Eyes like magnets. Attracting me more and more each day, "Hey, I got a question for you."
We resume walking, "Yes?" she says not making eye contact with me.
"Are you really into all the prom stuff?" I bet you she's gonna try and play it off like it's no big deal.
"Yeah, I mean, it's a fun thing to do. The planning that is."
I smile a little, "So, you're just into the planning?"
She shrugs, "Yeah."
"So, you're saying if I asked you to go with me, you'd say no?" I stare at the side of her face as I say it.
She smiles big, "Depends on if you're asking."
I pull her into me as I wrap my arms around her, "Go to the prom with me, Spen. I know you want to."
She wraps her arms around my neck as mine rest on her hips, "How romantic. You get into a fight with your ex-girlfriend's girlfriend and then you decide to ask me out to prom. You are a regular Casanova, aren't you?"
I shrug, "If the shoe fits but I mean if you don't wanna go with me then..."
She kisses me on the lips, "Yes, I'll go with you to prom."
"Yes! When is it, anyway?" I ask.
She rolls her eyes as she scratches the back of neck lightly, "Really? I've been telling you this for the past two months."
I shrug with a smirk, "I've been preoccupied." I wink at her.
A blush creeps up to her face, "With what I wonder."
"I think you of all people know the answer to that question." I say wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.
She giggles, "You are such a perv."
I shake my head from side to side, "Nah."
"Uh, yeah," She nods.
"Would you rather have me any other way?" I ask trying to see if she'll boost my fragile ego a little. Ha, fragile.
"Naked?" she says.
That's my baby.
Time for something I've never done before...
imaferrari: Yes, Paula grinds my gears as well.
Willowxxx: That's something you should never forget.
SouthMusiq91: Damn her straight to hell.
MittNacht: No anger between Spencer and Ashley, yet.
Irishgrl33: You'll soon see if she has a backbone or not.
.alex: I've recently been introduced to the greatness that is Death Cab, I've been under a rock for the past few years.
MattyBelkin: Thank you, boost my ego :)
Done, see you guys next year.
Just kidding.