Chapter eight
"McKay." When familiar voice drawled his name Rodney's head jerked towards the bed and its occupant. Hazel eyes were open, and glaring from under swath of white bandage.
"Sheppard?"
"Rodney, be vewwy, vewwy quiet!"
"Oh God!" McKays fingers clamped on the front of Beckett's jacket. "Now you see? I told you he's gone whacko!" Carson winced at high pitched squeak and involuntarily rubbed his ear. "Aye Rodney, i can see. But not hear anymore, thank ye so much." Gently but firmly extricating himself from McKay's death grip Beckett went to take a better look at his most frequent patient. Colonel was pale, and sported dark circles under eyes, but nonetheless Carson caught shadow of mischievous smirk on John's lips and relaxed inwardly.
"Hello lad, how're ye feelin'?" Hint of smile disappeared replaced by frown and Sheppard touched the bandage with obvious confusion.
"My head hurts. But...what am i doing in infirmary?" Ronon and Teyla tensed in their seats on the other side of bed, and Carson could hear Rodney's alarmed fidgeting. He was not too happy either, memory loss was never a good sign in any case of head injury. Still...
"Whats the last thing ye remember, Colonel?" Injured man fidgeted and started picking at the sheet. "We were off-world...? I remember Rodney dialing Atlantis address, then we went through wormhole...and i woke up here, just in time to hear McKay insulting my mental abilities." Sheppard concluded with pointed glare aimed at his best friend. Canadian huffed indignitantly from behind Beckett's shoulder.
"You were chanelling your inner Elmer Fudd, Sheppard! What was i supposed to think hearing"Kill the rabbits! Kill them all!" Huh?" Obviously deciding to not continue back and forth with McKay Sheppard turned his eyes to rest of his team.
"OK guys, you tell me. We returned home, and what...somebody jumped me? Roof fell on my head?" Ronon and Teyla looked at each other, then back at Sheppard, who questioningly lifted one eyebrow. Ronon kept his silence, so Teyla started talking, with slightly forced smile.
"Do you remember Major Lorne's team going to P6X – 290 John?" Sheppard nodded, and made a motion to scratch under his bandage. Beckett swatted his hand away and scowled disapprovingly, which in turn made Colonel pout. Teyla watched her friends with amusement, and when they settled their little 'dispute' continued. "Unfortunately Major and his men encountered heavy rainfall, and were forced to return earlier. In doing so they brought a lot of mud into Gate Room."
Ronon snorted from his chair. "Chuck used words pig pen to describe Room's state." Sheppard started to chuckle, then winced and mouthed 'ow'.
"Im fine, im fine." He grumbled waving away worried Beckett. "Please Teyla, what happened? Just dont tell me i've slipped on the mud."
"No, of course not, John. Maintenance crew cleaned everything before we returned. Unfortunately they left a puddle just in front of Stargate." Sheppard groaned and sank into pillows.
"And i stepped right into it, and slipped, right?"
"In a nutshell? Yes. But you made it with a lot of grace." Rodney chirped gleefully. "Your legs in the air? Very amusing."
"Not as amusing as McKay panicking at first sight of blood." Ronon countered with a smirk aimed at glaring scientist.
"Blood?" Asked Sheppard looking quizically at Becket and again reaching to the bandage.
Carson swatted his hand away. "You banged your head on the Gate. Eight stitches this time, lad. Dont scratch it."
At the same time Rodney was glaring a hole into huge ex-runner. "Of course i was worried. Survive Wraiths, Replicators, Genii, volcanoes, viruses and all these nuclear explosions only to crack his head open because he slipped? Thats absolutely in character for Sheppard!"
"Geee, Rodney. I didn't know you cared." Sarcastically quipped Colonel. McKay turned to him with a smirk on the face. "Sure i care Sheppard. You've hit Stargate with such strenght i've ordered Radek to check it for structural microdamages. Naquadah is a hard stuff, but so is your head." Irritated Sheppard sharply raised his head to properly glare at the Judas disguising himself as his best friend, but sharp pain stabbing at his temples instantly convinced him it was bad idea. Alarmed by his gasp and sudden paleness Carson bent to check his patient state, and found himself looking into pleading eyes.
"Say, Carson." Whispered quietly Sheppard. "Is there something about protecting your patients from torture and excessive teasing in Hippocratic Oath?" Relieved Scot showed dimples in broad smile and chuckled patting Colonel's arm.
"I believe there is something, indeed. Dont worry lad, i'll get rid of him right away." Schooling his round face in sternest possible expression Scottish doctor straightened and pierced worried-looking McKay with angry look.
"Now you see, what've ye done, ye bampot? I wont have you disturbing my patient, who barely regained consciousness. Out with you, and dont come back until morning!" Rodney anxiously looked at motionless Sheppard, then back at scowling Beckett.
"But...you've said he's fine Carson. How come he suddenly feels worse?"
"Maybe it has something to do with your so-called "jokes"about his hurting head." Ronon, who somehow managed to overhear Sheppard's whisper decided to add some oil to the fire under Rodney's feet.
"What's that supposed to mean, Conan?" McKay's voice rised noticeably. Ronon's smirk only widened. "Just that your sense of humor can make anyone queasy, little man."
"Oh?" McKay defiantly raised his chin. "So when Sheppard is poking fun at me its funny, right? And my jokes made him sick...- er? This is outrageously not fair!"
Ronon shrugged leaning back and stretching long legs. "Some people can get away with this kind of jokes. You are not one of them." He said matter-of-factly.
"What? And what exactly do you know about good and bad jokes, Caveman? Your idea of fun probably ends at putting something disgusting behind your victims collar, isn't it?" Satedan threw predatory smile at fuming scientist. But before they engaged in all-out verbal battle Sheppard decided to take matters in his own hands.
"R-Rodney?" Upon hearing weak and filled with misery groan coming from the bed McKay instantly forgot about his quarrel with Satedan and went to Sheppard's side.
"John? Do you want something from me?"
"Yeah." Rasped Colonel and cracked one eye open to give his friend pleading look. "M'gonna be sick... Hand me a basin, willya?" Alarmed Rodney jumped back.
"Uh. Oh, yeah, about that..." Panicked blue eyes found Beckett standing near him, and not wasting any time to wonder what caused quite strange expression on physician's face Rodney grabbed his sleeve and forcefully dragged Scot closer to the bed. "You help him, you are a doctor after all! If he starts puking i'll get sick too – you dont want me chain-vomiting here, do you?" Speechless Carson could only shake his head and relieved Rodney gathered all his courage to come closer to the bed and awkwardly pat Sheppard's knee.
"See? Carson will take good care of you Colonel. He's very good at this, y'know? I, uh...i have to talk to Elizabeth right now. Very important matter. Life and death, and...and...its really important." Talking mile a minute McKay was backing slowly towards door. But before he managed to reach the exit John made small gagging noise and scientist disappeared mid-word like he was caught in culling beam. All occupants of the room lost it instantly. For few minutes only laughter, giggles and occasional snorts could be heard near Sheppard's bed. Finally Teyla was first to recover from her bout of giggles.
"That was mean, John. Funny, i admit, but still mean." She said with stern expression on her face, but apparently she was unable to keep her lips from twitching. Ronon leaned forward to give Sheppard's leg a pat. "Good one, Sheppard. Dont listen to her."
"Aye." Carson agreed wiping tears of laughter. "You do know him well, lad."
Sheppard smirked, playfully lifting his eyebrow at Athosian. "Hey, he called me brain-dead first. I have every right to defend myself, since im injured and helpless." Teyla started giggling again at his pout, but sobered when Sheppard suddenly yawned.
"You are tired John. We should leave and let you sleep.
"Sleep, sure." John grumbled dejectedly sinking lower into his pillow. "With nurses waking me up regularly? I dont think so, i'd prefer to stay awake and talk with you."
" I think this time we can do without waking you, Colonel." Carson smiled reassuringly at him. "Your results are quite good, and you are coherent enough. I'll let you sleep, and if in the morning your condition will show further improvement, we'll see about letting you go to your quarters." Sheppard perked at the last word, and Carson warningly raised a finger. "I said in the morning. And no attempts to escape son, or you'll spend much more time here."
Ronon chuckled at fis friend's deflated expression and stood up stretching broad shoulders."You heard the Doc, Sheppard. Be good and get some sleep." Teyla got up too. "Yes, sleep well John. We'll eat breakfast together tomorrow."
"And bring my clothes." Said Sheppard staring defiantly at Beckett. Carson shook his head, laughing quietly at soldier's stubborness. "We'll see Colonel. We'll see. Now good night lad."
"Carson?" Beckett turned from the doors with questioning look. Sheppard fidgeted slightly avoiding for some reason his eyes. "Uh, can i have an apple for breakfast?"
Author's notes: This story is finished. Epiloque is ready, and will be uploaded very soon.