KINGDOM WARS:
SORA'S CONQUESTS
A CHARMING VICTORY-PART 2
The ballroom of Fatstache's palace was filled completely with every available maiden in the kingdom. The cavernous walls of the room glowed with blue and purple lights that reflected off the gilded carvings of the surrounding pillars. Goofy and Sora were standing at the back of a small crowd waiting for their turn to meet Prince Charming, who had just returned that day from the Kingdom Wars. He appeared very tired and bored and sat on his throne drinking liquor while girl after girl stepped up to meet him.
" Alright Goofy now here's the plan," Sora whispered as the Announcer called out another name, " I told the announcer that your name is Goofina Kensingtonshire. When he calls your name, I'll position myself behind the throne and pour Merlin's love potion into the Prince's liquor while he's distracted by your hideous appearance. He's bound to take a swig to drink away the ugly and then when he looks up…he falls madly in love with you!! It's foolproof! Now wait in line while I go hide behind the Prince." Sora pushed Goofina towards the line of suitors and slunk over to the Prince's throne. It was made of Ivory with Gold lining. Sora at first considered stealing it, but then remembered he was going to take over anyway so that would be pointless, and impossible considering that the Prince was sitting on it. He crept up behind the throne and uncorked the small pink vial of love potion and waited for the right moment.
Goofy meanwhile, was next in line and was feeling very nervous. He thought the Prince was sure to see through his disguise and arrest them. He was getting sweating with anxiety, and then at last, the Announcer called, " Lady Goofina Kensington."
Goofy started up the long red carpet towards the Prince, his hands shaking with fear. There was a wrinkle in the carpet and Goofy tripped and yelled "Hyork!" but quickly regained his balance. Fortunately, the Prince was already so drunk that he didn't notice Goofy's hic cry of surprise. He did however, notice that the girl coming towards him looked like a grotesque dog-man. In attempt to drown out her hideous, he took a large gulp of his malt liquor. Little did he know, Sora had already poured the potion in. At first the Prince had a glazed look on his face, but then he began to shake and convulse. He shook so much that he fell off the throne. His eyes were changing colours rapidly, and then he began to change shape. He started to sprout white feathers all over his body. Then an orange beak jutted out where his nose and mouth had once been. After several minutes, the Prince was completely unrecognizable and had stick-like, talon-studded legs and two white wings four arms.
The ball guests were screaming and panicking, not knowing whether to help the Prince or run from him. Meanwhile Sora, still behind the throne, looked at the bottle's label. It read: Dove Tonic; Merlin Industries. Sora smashed it on the ground, infuriated with himself for not picking the right vial, and with Merlin for making a jackass potion like Dove Tonic.
"WHO IN THE BLOODY HELL MAKES A DOVE POTION?!!!" Sora screamed, running out from behind the throne and into the panicking crowd. " I see that I have no choice but to take the Kingdom by force!" Sora climbed to the top of the throne. He then grabbed his pimped-out Keyblade from out of nowhere as usual and blasted a line of fire through the crowd. Immediately, the uninjured people turned to look up at him.
"YOU HAVE LEFT ME NO CHOICE, CITIZENS OF FATSTACHE'S KINGDOM! YOU WILL ALL BOW TO ME NOW BEFORE I DESTROY YOU ALL!" Sora yelled at the top of his lungs. He then fried the bird-Prince with a bolt of lightning. The Prince's body tuned all black and charred and he held up one of those cartoony signs saying 'OW'.
At once the citizens dropped to their knees and Sora cackled in triumph. He noticed from the corner of his eye that a particularly fat king was attempting to escape.
"NOT SO FAST YOUR MAJESTY! OR SHOULD I SAY…" Sora pointed his Keblade at the king's retreating ass. "…YOUR DEADJESTY!!!" Sora then blasted King Fatstache with a deadly bolt of pure hatred from his Keyblade and he fell to the floor, evil skulls of hate dancing round him.
" NOW MY NEW SUBJECTS, SINCE YOUR KING IS DEAD I DECLARE MYSELF HIS SUCCESSOR. YOU WILL ALL BOW TO MY AWSOME POWER AND ATTEND TO MY EVERY WILL, BUT FIRST, I HAVE SOME CHANGES TO MAKE. Goofy! Take this down!!" Sora smacked Goofy with the blunt end of his keblade, messing up all his disguise make up so that he actually looked more hideous, which was pretty much impossible for him. Sora turned the nearest man into a pen and paper pad and Goofy picked them up to start writing. Sora continued:
"ROYAL DECREE NUMBER ONE: ALL FOOD WILL BE GROWN SORELY FOR THE KING, that's me, AND WILL BE DESTRIBUTED AMOUNG THE CITIZENS BASED ON HOW MUCH THEY AMUSE ME. ROYAL DECREE NUMBER TWO: ALL MICE WILL REPORT TO THE CASTLE IMMEDIATELY AND BECOME MY PERSONAL TAILORS. THEY WILL BE PAID IN POTATOES AND NOTHING ELSE!! ROYAL DECREE NUMBER THREE: YOU WILL ERECT A MASSIVE STAUE OF MY LIKE NESS IN THE TOWN SQUARE. IT WILL BE MADE FROM GOLD THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE YOURSELVES. MY FINAL DECREE IS THAT IN MY ABSENCE, CINDERELLA, MY CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD, WILL BE MY SECOND IN COMMAND AND WILL RULE WHILE I'M OUT CONQUERING. THAT IS ALL FOR NOW." Sora jumped down from the throne and shot Goofy in the hand with his 9mm in celebration. Just then, Donald came crawling in, his missing wing still bleeding. He had been transformed back into his normal self after the spell wore off. Sora looked at him with disgust as he collapsed on the ballroom floor.
"EW. Somebody wipe him up, and repair his arm for God's sake! I don't want him dead and bleeding all over my fancy new palace!" Sora kicked Donald in the ribs and then sauntered off to oversee the production of his statue.