Total Drama Island belongs to the original makers/owners, I only own Paige, Marik, Ryan and the plot. Unless the owners of TDI and I make a bet, and I win, I'll own TDI!

Oh yeah, I recently discovered Scrubs so be prepared for a lots of scrubs jokes/moments from now on.

-

"All right give me the marshmallows, I've got an intro to do." Chris said, raising his hand for the plastic bag with marshmallows. "I'll be back in ten, you better clean this mess up or I'll fire you!" With a bright smile he walked away.

Threatening the crew (including Paige) was a morning routine for Chris.

"Okay sissies! Because Chris obviously is to lame to clean his own mess, we'll have to do it."

Paige announced, standing on a table. In the past weeks she'd been declared to Head of the Mess.

In the time the series was airing, Chris forgot to hire people to clean. So the crew had to do it.

-

When Chris got back he was wearing an orange pilot suit with a white vest over it and a controller on his chest. He held a white helmet with red stripes and 'Z's on it.

"Guess what's the theme of this week's challenge."

"Sports?" Marik said, not caring at all.

"Putting the world's worst colour combinations together?" Ryan asked in shock, cringing in his suede jacket.

"No, and no freaking way! Ryan do you honestly think that!?" Chris replied.

"We are going to the EXTREME! this week. So Paige get yer butt in this suit and follow me to the airplane.

"Wait, I have to wear ORANGE!?" Paige asked.

"Yep." Replied the host.

"No way, uh-uh. Not gonna happen, nor in your dreams or nightmares."

"Geez Paige stop being such a prep and get it on!" Chris commanded.

"Nuh-uh. I look horrible in orange. Plus this suit makes my tights look ten times bigger." Paige explained. "Can I pimp this?"

Chris sighed. "Sure, why not, it's not like I paid one hundred bucks to get those limited flying suits."

"'Kay, I'll be back in a second!" Paige chirped and ran away with her orange suit.

Chris sighed and sat down on a tree trunk.

"What's up MacLean?" Chef asked, having a break.

"Oh, nothing big. I just thought Paige would like it if I bought her an expensive pilot suit but she freaking hates it!" Chris spat out.

"My man she hates orange. No offence but she really look rubbish in orange."

"How do you know?" Chris asked curious.

"She showed some photo's of herself with Izzy from a while ago, you were in the trailer having a massage or something."

Darn it! Chris thought.

"Could you guys stop the tea chat and get back to work?" Paige asked sharply.

Chris looked at her and he had to admit; she really looked hot in teal blue. Add to the fact it was a fitting teal blue pilot suit… And she had her red hair up in a ponytail.

She almost looked like a real pilot, almost… But she had a sticker with a ladybug on her forehead from last night's truth or dare.

-

"You're sure you can drive a plane?" Paige asked, when they were already in the air. "Positive," Chris said. "Now let's go bug those whiny teenagers!"

After flying really low to the roofs of the cabins, the campers came out to see what woke them up.

"INCOMING!!!!" Chris yelled as he dived with the old yellow plane, imitating a kamikaze pilote.

The campers shrieked and ran away.

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed. "I can't wait to get my pilot's license!" The plane was still driving ahead, crashing into the Confessional Cam. Luckily there were several others.

With a loud thud they stood still on the ground.

"I think I'm gonna faint.." Paige mentioned, raising her finger. And after that she went limb.

Chris turned the window down and his orange shades whose were built into his helmet up.

"Just flexing your muscles for today's.-"

"EXTREME!" Paige suddenly yelled, popping out behind Chris with a huge grin plastered on her face.

"- sport challenge!" Chris finished, also grinning.

Gwen groaned. "It's too early for this."

Paige popped her head out of another window from the plane. "You shouldn't say that. Old people get up even earlier then you."

"Why would they do that?" Owen asked.

Paige shrugged. "Maybe it's something like wrinkles, you'll get it when you get older."

"This week you'll get to face three challenges. First up;"

"EXTREME!" yelled Paige again, raising her arms.

"Skydiving! You'll dive from this plane with a parachute and your team members will move this sofa in order to rescue- I mean catch you."

Paige carried an old parachute, and jumped from the plane into the sofa. Literally, she fell into it and disappeared. The campers looked horrified to the remaining arms and legs who were waving into the air, desperate for some oxygen.

"Our lucky ones are Trent and DJ!"

"Oh, why not." Trent shrugged and said something about heaven and hell.

Poor DJ wasn't so brave and he whimpered. "Yeah… sure… okay.."

"The next challenge: an EXTREME rodeo ride!"

Chef walked to a moose that was locked up between wooden bars.

The moose didn't looked too happy, so Chef stepped back in fear. "Stay for 10 seconds on the moose.. Or you'll get covered in stinky socks!"

"The crew worked hard for them!" Paige added. All the teens looked disgusted, even Owen. c

"The third and last challenge is water skiing… On the land!"

"How do you do that?" Heather asked.

"It's really hard, Chef Hatchet will demonstrate it." Chris explained.

Chef was on a water scooter.. on the land. He hurt himself very bad.

"Harold, you'll surf for the Killer Bass. And Lindsay, you will surf for the Screaming Gophers."

"Ooooh, can I have my new bikini on?" Lindsay chirped.

"Yeah. And if you win 2 of the three challenges, you'll be save from elimination, you'll stay on the island AND… You'll get a mobile shower."

Paige meanwhile came out of the couch, but don't ask how.. really. She didn't even figured it out for herself. Then she saw Chef play a harp and she fell in love with the mobile shower.

-

When DJ and Trent went into the plane, after they said goodbye to their lovers.

Actually, only Trent did because DJ had no girl.

(A/N: yet!)

Gwen said something to Trent about Haiku's what didn't seemed to interest Trent so Gwen kind of humiliated herself on live TV. But it's an reality show so you are supposed to make an idiot of yourself.

-

Paige sat at the ground as she saw the teams struggle to win.

The Gophers were having some trouble as Owen slept on the couch so they just drew a X on his butt so Trent would have a soft landing.

Poor Trent just crashed into the heard ground causing him to break all his bones.

-

Confession Cam

Gwen: I hope Trent will recover. But he did not break his skull so.. *realises what she wants to say, gets red and kicks the camera off* I-I'm outta here."

-

"Okay camp folks! Let's start with the Rodeo Moose-"

"EXTREME!!' Paige yelled suddenly.

"..challenge.."

Geoff said something about surfing, Bridgette about Haiku, and Geoff showed the tattoo on his butt again, shocking Gwen.

It totally pissed the moose of, that broke trough the branches and Geoff.. ended in the pile of stinky socks.

"And Geoff's… out?" Chris said, questionably.

LeShawna did a much better job with the moose.

"Can I take him home?" LeShawna asked.

Chris shaked his head. "No!"

-

"So campers here's the tie! Whoever wins this challenge, wins invincibility gets the mobile shower!" Chris announced trough a megaphone on a red squad and Paige on the seat behind him with her hair totally messed up.

"What's the matter, vehicle sickness?" Chris said and winked.

Paige blinked feeling not very well. It was the first time she went on the back seat on the squad but Chris took a shortcut to get to the last challenge… It involved mud and some sharp shortcuts.

"Just spare me so I can use that shower." Paige got off and dropped flat on her face onto the ground with a thud.

"Okaaaay.." Chris said. "The road rules are.. Oh wait there are no rules! What means this is gonna be AWESOME!"

Heather drove the mud scooter with Harold on a rope behind. He was about to win until… Heather flashed her chest (A/N: That rhymes!) what distracted Harold so he crashed into a rock.

"Wow! I didn't saw what Heather did to make Harold loose, but he sure did!"

"BOOOOBIESS…" Harold spoke slowly, getting every female on the island angry with him.

Now it was Lindsay's turn in her green bikini. Paige sighed as she thought how Izzy would love a green bikini.

"Flag one… Flag two.. Three… Four… Lindsay has all the five flags! Duncan must finish now or he'll be the joker!" Chris continued, while having his eyes pinned on Paige instead of the hot Lindsay or the angrier Duncan.

"She won..?" Chris asked to himself.

After cheering from the Gophers and crying from the Bass, the Gophers got the showers they longer for after several weeks of crappy showers that turn cold when too much are being used.

Paige sat down with Bridgette and Gwen as they still didn't know for who the haiku was.

"So we ruled out Owen and DJ," Gwen said.

"But who can it be?" Bridgette asked herself more then Gwen or Paige.

"Who can what be?" LeShawna asked who came by in a bathrobe.

"Any more love poems from your secret admirer, LeShawna?" Chris asked.

"The crush girl is LESHAWNA!?" Gwen, Bridgette and Paige yelled out loud.

"You know somebody else with a booty as licious as an apple?" LeShawna went away when Gwen twitched in shock. "But who wrote it!?"

-

Elimination

The campfire ceremony. Gets your stomach to twist in ways you never know it could.

"You.." Chris started in his serious voice.

"Blah blah blah we know the routine Chris!" Paige piped up behind the marshmellows. Just get this over with, but EXTREME!!"

"Okay Paige you can do this but you'll NEVER pull it off like the Chris." Chris said.

"OKAY EXTREME PEOPLE!" Paige yelled. "GIT YER BUTT OVER HERE IF I EXTREMELY CALL OUT YOUR NAME!"

The teens nodded.

"BRIDGETTE! DJ! YOU GUYS ARE MAH EXTREME HOMIES THAT MEANS YOU'RE EXTEMLY SAVE. Paige turned to Geoff who sat in a tree for some reason.

"GEOFF YOU'RE EXTREMLY SAVE TOO."

"OKAY THAT LEAVES HAROLD WHO SAID THE B-WORD AND DUNCAN WHO JUST SUCKS." Paige yelled.

Duncan got angry and grabbed Paige's collar.

"The chick was determined." He gritted trough his teeth.

Chris jumped up and dragged Duncan away. "Hey hey easy dude." He said.

"Chris." Paige said, just to make him realise what he was doing.

"HAROLD YOU ARE EXTREMLY.. NOT EXTREME! ..Anymore." Paige said. "You're done as dinner!" Harold smiled and got his stuff before leaving.

"Farewell Total Drama Island. I loved, I lost, and I saw boobies. What more can a man ask for?"

Gwen, Bridgette and LeShawna felt forced to remark his quote before Harold burst out:

"LeShawna! I meant every word of that poem!"

"Poem? That was you?" LeShawna asked softly and they both ran in slow-motion to each other, to give daddy (=Harold) some sugar.

-

When LeShawna was beating Heather up, Paige kicked Chris' squad.

"That's for making me nauseous!"

"Paige! Don't kick Perry!" Chris said concerned about Perry, his now named squad.

"…You named your squad Perry? That's pathetic, even for you." Paige scoffed.

"Want a ride to the crew camp?"

Paige shrugged but hopped on the squad. "No short cuts please."

Chris smirked. "I only know the shortest way to camp, but it's kinda bumpy. You might hold on tight."

Paige rolled her eyes but when Chris gave gass she clinged her arms around his waist in fear causing Chris' face to look like the Cheshire Cat.