Last night had not ended the way I had hoped. Tommy and I had left around two am, while the party was still going strong. No scratch that. Tommy forced me to leave at two am. I had no choice in the matter.
We were silent in the elevator, on our way back to our room, while I fidgeted with my dress. He wouldn't even look at me and I felt like crying. Tommy had never been this over protective before. Sure he complained about the guys I hooked up with or dated, but he never, until now, dragged me from a party to stop me from sleeping with a guy. I was confused. I mean, yeah, I knew Tommy loved me, and it hurt him to see me with other guys. But I thought he was still my friend. Not my brother. My real brother didn't even act like this. Michael probably would have slapped me on the back and given me a thumbs up, as long as it was what I wanted.
But that's just it. Tommy knew it wasn't what I wanted. Well, that's not true either. At the moment I wanted it very much. I mean I had Alex Gaskarth in bed, who wouldn't want that? But Tommy knew that it wasn't Alex I wanted to be in that bed. I knew it wasn't Alex I wanted in that bed. But that's what scared me.
Once in our hotel room, I went straight for the bathroom. I was on the verge of tears, and I didn't need Tommy to see me cry over something so stupid. I changed into some pajamas and a sweatshirt before splashing my face with water to wash away the evidence of the tears I had let escape down my cheeks. Leaving the bathroom, I walked into the living room, slipping my slippers on, on the way.
Tommy was sitting on the coach with his head back, eyes closed. He looked stressed and I instantly felt bad for being so selfish. I tended to forget about his feelings and focus only on my own. I'm a horrible friend.
I took a seat next to Tommy on the coach, dragging my legs to my chest as I focused on the wall behind the mounted television. Hadn't noticed I was crying until Tommy shift beside me to wipe the tears from my face. I closed my eyes, sighing to myself.
"Why are you such a good friend?" I whispered, my eyes still closed. At his silence, I opened my eyes to find Tommy staring at me, expressionless.
I blinked slowly and then his lips were on mine. I didn't have time to think, but I was kissing back. Why was I kissing back? This night is fucked up. I pulled away, not looking in Tommy's eyes. I couldn't see the disappointment in his beautiful brown eyes.
I scrambled off the coach, mumbling an apology as I retreated to the bedroom. I shut the door, leaning against it as I slid to the floor.
(Tommy's POV)
Did I really just do that? Fuck me. Fuck her. Why did I have to be in love with her? I knew she'd never love me back, not the way I wanted her to. I swore I'd never make a move. She knows how I feel, and made it perfectly clear that we could only be friends. And I was okay with that. As long as I was around her, I'd be okay with being 'just friends.' So why did I kiss her?
Because I caught her with Alex, that's why. She was going to sleep with him, some rock star that she just met. He was just using her to get laid. Then again, so was she. I'd never thought of Roni as a slut before, but tonight she acted pretty damn slutty. Going from one band guy to the next. Flirting shamelessly. I've always understood the reasoning behind Roni's hookups, but tonight didn't make sense. She'd never slept with a random guy before. She was more careful than that. So why did she tonight?
My thoughts were interrupted when the hotel room door opened. I turned on the couch to see Tommy walking in with a stumbling Mel. I jumped up, helping Tommy get Mel on the couch.
"Thanks," he said once she was lying down mumbling about arguing and a fistfight. "John punched Alex," he stated when he saw my puzzled expression.
I didn't know what to make of that piece of information. "Why?" I asked.
He just looked at me knowingly, before changing the subject. "Where's Roni?"
I pointed to the door behind me. At his quizzical expression I sighed, he knew something was up. "She's mad at me," I stated simply. He nodded before going to the door and knocking lightly.
"Go away!" she said quietly.
"Ron. It's me," Michael stated. The door cracked open, but I couldn't see her, I was too far away. "Can I come in?" he asked. The door opened wider, enough for Michael to slip in before in closed again.
I sighed. Usually I was the one she wanted to talk to when she was upset. But this time, she was upset because of me. Why did I have to make a dick move? Why couldn't I just be happy being her friend? Dammit.
I went to sit outside the door, trying to see if I could hear their conversation through the door.
"…can't believe him. Why would he do that?" Roni was asking with a gravely voice, as if she'd been crying. I resisted the urge to punch something. Was she crying because of me?
"You know he loves you," Michael was saying. "Ron, he can only take so much. You drive him crazy. Especially tonight, he had to watch you flirt with not one, but two guys. Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't done something sooner."
"But… he knows I don't feel the same way. We've talked about this. I thought we were okay." Her voice became so soft at the end that I could barely hear her.
"I know. Just… are you sure you don't like him too?" My ears perked up at Michael's question. Why would he ask that? He knew the answer, everyone did. Still, I found myself listening harder for her answer. Apparently I was still hopeful.
But I never heard her answer, if there was one.
"Okay… So tonight? What happened at the party?" Michael was asking.
"Promise not to tell anyone?" Michael must have agreed, because she continued, "When I was dancing with John, I felt something. You know me. I never feel anything. I felt comfortable with him and it scared me. So I went to find Alex, hoping that I could get distracted. I mean it was probable nothing, right?"
I couldn't believe my ears. Did she just say she had feelings for John? She didn't even know him. Never mind that, she never admitted having feelings for anyone but family. My heart sank. I had been hoping that she could somehow possibly love me, as more than just her best friend. I guess I could forget about that. She could never love anyone. She had told me so countless times. I had never truly believed her. But now? Maybe I do.
(Roni's POV)
After Michael left, I fell asleep thinking about the past two days. This summer was supposed to be carefree and fun. So far, fun was accomplished, for the most part, but carefree was thrown out the window.
All I could do was care. I cared about Tommy, and whatever was going on between us. Could we go back to just friends? Was Michael right and he had reached his limit? I cared about John, more so than I wanted to admit to myself. I cared about what the rest of the summer would bring.
I drifted off with the image of John in my head for the second night in a row. Shit. I was in trouble.
A/N: drama-rama
what do think of Tommy's POV? like it? hate it?
let me know... i might do it again, who knows.
until..., love.