A/N: So many questions... Thanks for reviewing, I'm a little concerned that the plot is too obvious, we'll see. Maybe I can throw you off with this chapter? I hate to disappoint but answers will come slowly, First things first, who's got Lissa? That'll have to wait while we find out where Adrian's taking Rose. You put too much Faith in my creativity. Here's a little heart to heart all those AdrianxRose fans, hope it's not too cheesy.

Disclaimer: It's depressing admitting it but you know I don't own Adrian or Dimitri. Thanks Richelle Mead.

Remember Cameron? Isn't he slimy? Any friend of Ralf would have to be.

Thanks to my beta again!

Chapter 23

Rose's POV

Adrian sat down beside me on the grassy slope, pulling his phone out and texting someone.

"Adrian?" I said after a few minutes.

"Hmm?" He replied distractedly.

"Adrian, who are you texting? You're the one who brought me here." I stated.

"I'm ordering lunch, just a moment," he continued texting and then smiled, sliding his phone in his pocket, "There. Now, how was your day, my beauty?"

I shrugged and turned away from him, biting my lip and watching birds swoop through the trees. What was I supposed to say? The truth? Yeah, Adrian, my day was torture. I remembered with perfect clarity killing Dimitri and wanted to run away but couldn't. I couldn't even stop pretending to be happy because I promised my best friend I would be strong. No, but he had asked me not to lie. He would know if I did lie and it would make it harder to pretend. I really needed to start avoiding Adrian, it was just too hard talking to him.

He reached out and placed a hand lightly on my knee tracing circles there. It made me think of how I had spent my time with Dimitri, why hadn't I spent every moment I had with Dimitri somewhere like this? Just us together...

I shook my head, snapping myself out of it. This was Adrian.

"Life sucks, huh?" He asked gently.

I turned back to him, looking into the green pools of his eyes. I should love him, he was beautiful and kind and he wanted me. But he was as forbidden as Dimitri had been.

Finally I said, "I miss being young, don't you? Never having responsibilities, concerns. Being able to love carelessly, forget the future, and laugh constantly..."

He laughed softly, his breath tickling my ear, "Were you ever like that, really? You've been looking after Lissa, with no one looking after you for a long time. You are still young, Rose. You shouldn't have seen half the things you've experienced."

"You may be right, Adrian. But what does that matter? Nothing's going to change. Whatever, It's my life." I said staring straight ahead.

"The subject seems to have changed." He whispered, "This isn't about your childhood anymore, is it? You're talking about this, right now. You were thinking about how not okay you are. That is what you meant, isn't it?"

"Just because you think you know everything, that you know how I feel, doesn't matter. So what if I'm not okay? Don't bother staying for lunch if this is what it's all about." I said angrily, not angry with him but myself.

"I have no intention of repeating this argument with you over and over until the end of lunch. Nor do I want to torture you any further." He said his voice suddenly not at my ear anymore.

I looked over to see him glancing away, his hand slipping from my knee. What had I done now? Why did I hurt everyone I loved? Why did I kill the ones I loved most? Why wasn't Dimitri here anymore? Dimitri with his deep, brown eyes, Dimitri with his Russian accent and Zen quotes. His western novels and his smile. What had I done? I had killed him. I had taken away that smile forever. My breathing hitched slightly as an image of him laughing played out in my mind over and over like a broken tape then suddenly vanished.

"Little Dhampir, lunch is here." Adrian's voice broke through my nightmare.

I looked up and Adrian was standing next to a basket, smiling at me in a way that makes the rest of the world fade in comparison.

"You are so beautiful..." I whispered under my breath before standing and walking over to where he was.

He spread a throw rug on the ground and sat down, taking food from the basket. While it all looked wonderful, it was hard to eat knowing you had killed the only person you would ever love. The sandwiches were filled with a variety of things from salad to chicken and mayonnaise. The muffins were huge, with raspberry swirls. The guy sitting across from me was wonderful and kind. But all I could see was red eyes turning brown while the pained expression remained in them. All I could hear was a voice, soft and Russian, apologising. All I could feel was the stake in my hand. All I could smell was his blood.

Then suddenly, that wasn't all – there were strong arms around me, green eyes in front of mine, a voice asking me what was wrong.

For a moment I almost told him. Then I smiled, "Nothing, don't worry."

"But I do." Adrian whispered, hugging me tightly.

"Don't, I'm fine." I said nonchalantly.

"Rose, I know I said I wouldn't repeat this argument with you but I didn't know how bad things could get. I didn't know how hard it was for you. We should talk, even if you don't want to." He said in his scary serious way.

"Adrian, really, I'm okay. Seriously. You're paranoid, not to mention cliché. 'We should talk', really?" I smiled at him, laughing lightly.

"Don't, just stop pretending. If I can only save one person with this curse, let it be you."

"What are you talking about?" What curse? Maybe spirit was taking its toll on him again.

"Seeing aura's is so pointless, I try to help people but I can't. But I'm going to try anyway, to save you from self-destruction. Everything isn't your fault. You had to kill Dimitri; it wasn't a choice you made. Remembering him is a good thing, guilt is not. Stop lying to me and stop deceiving yourself. No matter how cliché talking is, I hate it that you keep the pain to yourself. I hate seeing your aura and not being able to make it better. I hate how you pretend to be okay for everyone when you don't have to." He spoke firmly but at the same time carefully.

"Now stop pretending and talk to me" He added.

I was about to deny everything, to tell him I was fine but my mouth moved of its own accord,

"I can't let him go. I wish he was here so much, that I could talk to him. But it's my fault he's gone so I deserve this. There was another option, you know. I could have let him turn me, we could have been together. I remember every detail of that day. His eyes, mostly. All the time I had with him that I didn't spend with him, I should have told him sooner that I loved him. I should have refused to let him pretend he didn't love me back when I knew he did. I should have spent every second with him. But I didn't, I killed him." I was babbling but it felt good, it was wrong but sharing the pain with someone else felt fantastic. The thought of giving Adrian half the pain, making him suffer half of this torture made me happy. I was a terrible person.

"You don't deserve this." He said and then moved to sit beside me, passing me a sandwich.

That was it, conversation over.

Dimitri was dead because of me and I was sitting in the sunshine with Adrian Ivashkov eating sandwiches. I would never have imagined this, the tragic state that was my life. But here I was. Not exactly alone, not exactly happy and definitely not going to escape. What was the point?

There was none. Nothing that had happened made any sense.

So I did the only thing that did make sense right then and ate the sandwich he had given me. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders in a half hug, the warmth of his body comforting me.

"So Ivashkov, dragging me away from Lissa to seduce me?" I teased.

"Oh!" he said putting a hand over his heart in fake-shock, "I would never! I'm perfectly happy to seduce you in front of Lissa."

I laughed quietly, "Wouldn't you just love that?"

"Mm..." He murmured in my ear seductively.

"Ah, I was right. You just wanted privacy so you could seduce me." I smiled and then started yelling, "ADRIAN'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME! HELP!"

He pulled back laughing, "No one can hear you, Little Dhampir. So stop killing my ears."

I grinned at him and picked up another sandwich, they were as delicious as they look and suddenly I felt like eating.

"Rose...Do you remember our deal?" He asked suddenly.

"The one I didn't agree to? The one you informed me of in a letter?" I asked sarcastically back, I didn't want to have this conversation.

He sighed, moving closer to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He ran his fingers through my hair, gently pulling my head down against his chest. I closed my eyes relishing the feel of someone else, warm and safe, caring about me. Physical comfort always brings a sense of security, no matter whether the mind wishes to accept it or not. Just like patting rabbits to sleep before you break their necks. The feelings I had had before I met Adrian today, the reluctance to eat, the ache in my jaw every time I tried to smile like the muscles were stiff, were slowly melting away.

Of course I didn't need comfort, I was Rose Hathaway. But I couldn't convince my body of this nor could I move away.

"Yes, that deal. How are you, honestly?" He asked.

I closed my eyes tighter feeling my throat constrict and tears start to fill my eyes, willing myself not to cry. I felt like I had lost everyone. I was so incredibly alone. I was so lost and sad and lonely. There was no one I could trust, no one I could turn to. Thinking about it made me want to scream and cry. I needed to tell someone but the words wouldn't come. Most of all I wanted to get someone else to fix this. I wanted to hug Adrian so I wouldn't feel so alone but it didn't help because I knew he wasn't who I missed so much, I knew he wasn't the person I was looking for. He wasn't Dimitri.

"Adrian..." I started but stopped, choking on tears and trying to force them away.

"You're Rose Hathaway; don't forget how strong you can be. The Rose Hathaway, who ran away with the last Dragomir, has 6 moniji marks and a battle star before she's graduated and terrifies trained guardians. Would Rose Hathaway really let love kill her? I've heard she was a crazy party girl, as infamous as Adrian Ivashkov but not only for her partying, but for her strength. I think I would have an easier time with party girl Rose but I like you all the same." He said playing with my hair.

He was right, so right. How can Adrian always be so right? He's Adrian Ivashkov for God's Sake! He's supposed to be drunk, not kind and thoughtful. I was that strong, in the past, love can change people. Adrian is proof of that.

"Maybe that was in the past, Adrian." I said with my eyes still closed.

"That is who you are, Little Dhampir. You can't change who you are any more than leopards can change their spots to stripes." He replied.

"But you've changed. You used to be drunk and sleazy and out of control, spoiled and royal. Now you're not like that..." I insisted, trailing off at the end.

"I didn't change Rose, I just stopped drinking 24/7. Maybe I'm happier now too but emotions change, people don't. What do you think I am now? Because I was probably always like this and just suppressed it."

"You're nice and funny and scarily accurate about people." I said quietly and hugged him.

"Aw, you're wonderful too." He said teasingly and then continued in a serious tone, "You are sad and lonely, but they're just emotions. You're kind, brave, witty, beautiful and sassy. You're still Rose."

"Well, that's what they said on my birth certificate too, but you never know, they could have swapped babies at the hospital." I replied laughing.

"Well, I'm sure they didn't." He stood up and reached out his hand, "May I have this dance Rosemarie?"

"I promise to kill you if you call me that again."

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, "Fine, Rose, care to dance?"

I took his hand, standing up, "Without music?"

He pulled a small remote control out of his pocket and clicked on, music started playing from the picnic basket.

"IPod and speakers, great inventions really." He said chuckling.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and started swaying to the music, If We Ever Meet Again by Timberland ft. Katy Perry was playing, not exactly slow music.

What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?
Say did you come alone or did you bring all your friends?
What's your name, what ya drinking?
I think I know what you're thinking, What's your sign?
Tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.

I'll never be the same if we ever meet again,
Won't let you get away.
Say, if we ever meet again.

The start played and slowly I started dancing faster, twirling around Adrian and shaking my hips in time to the beat. He gave me one of his brightest smiles and took my hands, spinning around in a circle. It was silly dancing that I wouldn't have done in public, ever. The kind of think Lissa and I might have done while getting ready to go clubbing. Adrian looked amazing when he was happy, his smile and the way his eyes lit up. Even when I first met him I had known he was attractive, I wasn't falling for him now, I was just realising I didn't dislike him.

Unbroken by Stan Walker started fading in before the last song was over and Adrian pulled me closer to him, continuing to dance. Every time I moved my arms they brushed against him and I was so close I was almost rubbing against him, this was the sort of dancing Lissa and I had done at clubs when we'd run away. It was fun and sexy, something Adrian would love, I'm sure.

Five songs later and Airplanes by B.o.B was playing. I sat down on the grass dragging Adrian with me.

"Lunch is nearly over." He said.

"Mm," I grabbed a muffin from the picnic he'd set up, "Well lunch is for eating."

"It is. We should do this again sometime."

Lissa would love it if he dragged me away from her every lunch. Lissa, oh no.

"Lissa, oh my God, I totally forgot we were meeting for lunch. She's going to kill me." I started to stand up but Adrian stopped me,

"She's with Christian having some personal time alone with him. You should probably start walking back though, Lunch is going to be over in five minutes."

I stood up nodding and brushed the grass off myself.

"Oh and," Adrian added. "Love the outfit. I've got this rule about taking all my clothes off at the end of the day, especially when you're wearing them. Shame those aren't my jeans... But that is my shirt..." He winked.

"Yeah, some rules are meant to be broken." I said smiling and turning away. As I walked back towards the main buildings I heard Run by Snow Patrol drifting from the picnic basket.

I was walking towards my next class slowly, the bell still hadn't gone and I didn't want to be early. I didn't want to go into Lissa's head after what Adrian had said she was doing with Christian but she didn't seem angry. She just seemed...

"Hey, watch where you're going!" Someone yelled, I looked up to see two boys colliding, one losing his balance and running into me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." he said turning around to face me, "Rosemarie Hathaway, right?"

There was something about the way he said Rosemarie that made me think he was deliberately trying to annoy me. Everybody knew I preferred Rose and if he knew my name, he definitely knew that I didn't go by Rosemarie. Adrian had been calling me Rosemarie earlier as a joke; I smiled at the thought of Adrian still sitting alone next to the picnic basket with music playing.

"Yes, Rose actually, don't run into me again or you'll be screaming my name in agony." I said remembering he was there.

"That sounds... hot." He said softly, leaning closer to my ear.

"Oh, it shouldn't, it should make your blood run cold." I said smirking at him; I didn't need another desperate Moroi after me.

"Anything to do with you would certainly be hot, Rose." He winked at me.

I grinned at him, it never hurt to have fun and Lissa would be happy I was being normal again. He was lucky I was in a good mood, he had worse pick up lines than Adrian.

"I wish I could say the same for you but although you know me, I know nothing about you. Tell me, who are you?" I whispered seductively near his ear.

"I am someone you want to see tonight." He said boldly.

So he was one of those Moroi who thought they could do whatever they wanted with Dhampirs. I would have to make a mental note of his name – if only he would tell me what it was.

"Only if you tell me what your name is...?" I said alluringly.

"Cameron Sarcozy." He stated.

"Hmm, so you're a royal. Should I be bothered remembering that name?" I asked curiously.

"Of course, you'll be saying it a lot later, possibly yelling it tonight..." He trailed off with that innuendo.

"Is that right?" I asked running a hand down his arm slowly, "I already have plans for tonight." I said pulling my hand back.

"Do you now? Well, tomorrow is good; I might be able to live without you until then." He said smiling.

"Cameron, persistent aren't you?" I sighed looking over him slowly, blue eyes, brown hair, slim, tall, Moroi form, same obnoxious expression as Christian.

"I'd be anything for you, baby." He said jokingly.

The bell went saving me from replying to him, he wasn't really my type, he was more Lissa's.

"See you, Cameron." I said walking away.

"Love ya!" He yelled and I turned back laughing to blow him a kiss.

Eddie was just walking up behind him and laughed as he passed Cameron, blowing him a kiss teasingly and grinning at Cameron's shocked reaction. He walked up beside me and put an arm around my shoulders possessively, smirking over his shoulder.

"Hey Eddie." I said laughing.

"Rose, I see you've got followers." He said nodding as a greeting and pulling his arm back.

I sighed, smiling, "As long as I get a free lunch out of it, I'm okay."

He raised his eyebrows curiously and I explained, "Adrian gave me a picnic lunch. That guy... he ran into me and well, you can guess, just the usual Rose fan club stuff."

"I'm sure." He said grinning and I laughed.

Class was dull, but survivable. Eddie was working tirelessly to keep up with the teachers lecture while I winked and smiled suggestively at half of the boys in the class, entertaining myself with their reactions. I could feel my phone silently vibrating in my pocket, signalling that I had a text. I knew it was from Adrian, I had already gotten four from him since lunch.

The first was in true Adrian style:

Hey Babe,

Dreaming of that shirt lying on the floor tonight.

Xx A.

I had ignored that and refused to reply, but he continued:

Rose.

Don't worry, sweetie, it won't be alone. Your jeans and my shirt will join it!

We can make it a party and put my jeans on the floor too...

How much does class suck?

I'd smiled at that and replied:

You're disgusting but I love you anyway.

I'm sick of parties, we had one last night! Jeez.

Class rocks.

He'd send me another message a moment later:

Are we being sarcastic Rose Hathaway? I'm in shock! I'm disgusting? You love me? You don't want to go to a party? Class rocks? Are you feeling alright?

This can't be Rose, someone's stolen her phone! Oh no!

Ugh. I was going to get caught if he didn't stop texting, but when has that ever stopped me?

Adrian, I'm in class.

Clue: stop texting.

You ARE disgusting. I was being sarcastic. I'm tired of hangovers. Class DOES rock. I'm F.I.N.E.

Although I had outright told him to stop he still texted back:

Why does the only thing you were being sarcastic about have to be the only thing I cared about?

Hello? Is this Little Dhampir? Oh wait. She's in class.

I would have CALLED you if you weren't in class. See? I knew you were in class.

I'd yet again ignored him in the hopes he would give up, but he didn't. The latest text was proof of that. I slid my phone out of my pocket while watching the teacher and pretending to listen. Then I picked up a pencil and pretended to write, instead looking down at the display of my phone.

You're killing me. Really.

I'm just so happy! That shirt is mine! Can you believe my luck? Tonight will rock.

So I'll see you in my room after dinner? Great!

Xoxo Adrian.

He was more persistent than Cameron! But even if I didn't reply it wouldn't stop him anyway, so no harm in replying. My game could wait-poor unsuspecting males of 's!

I'm going to hang with Liss. If she agrees we may come by your room with Christian... MAYBE.

But I think I'll wash the shirt before I return it, shame for you.

Don't bribe Lissa!

Xx Rose.

After that I continued teasing the boys around me, occasionally doing it to Eddie who didn't seem to notice. When the bell went to signal the end of classes, I thought of how I should have had training with Dimitri. My heart sank as I watched all the guardians around school talking to their students, mentors teaching techniques. I sighed and walked slowly through the cafeteria, after not finding Lissa there I decided to go to my room.

I opened my door, flung my bag onto a chair and walked into the bathroom. The water was hot, steaming up the mirrors, making it possible to believe everything was as it should be. Dimitri was here, not strigoi, not dead, Lissa and I were partying every other night. I closed my eyes, imagining Dimitri had come out partying with us, that everything in my life was perfect. Dimitri wasn't my mentor, nobody cared that we were together. Lissa didn't have to worry about spirit, and her parents were still here. Nothing bad had ever happened to us. As if.

When I was done I walked to the closet and grabbed some clothes, got dressed and walked towards my desk. I was humming when I noticed it. I stopped dead in my tracks for a moment then I walked over to the couch, sitting down and staring at the coffee table.

"Not this..." I whispered into the darkness.

I picked up the glossy piece of card carefully, examining it closely.

It was a photo. On the shining side that was facing up was a picture. A picture of the cabin. The cabin I would recognise anywhere, the happiest memory I had of my life. That cabin had haunted my dreams, always empty except for the stake in my hand which was covered in blood.

How did this get here? I thought while flipping over the card. On the back was a message in large, neat handwriting.

Roza.

You should come here.

C.

I started in disbelief; the only person who ever called me 'Roza' was Dimitri. He was dead and the bottom was signed with a 'C' in a large, bold letter. It stood out against the white backing as if someone had gone over it with the pen a few times.

Who had done this?

I buried my head in my hands and closed my eyes. My room was dark, cold, empty.

Everything had changed now.