A/N: I have been very bad this week. I'm sorry. I went a little insane when I was writing this but Spirit Bound is proof it can happen... Anyway, non Adrian fans, don't hate me just yet!

Younger readers, proceed with caution... There's nothing worse than what was in the actual books...

Disclaimer: Richelle Mead is amazing, therefore you can see who wrote the books.
Ps. Rose now knows who 'C' is – she's figured it out, so whatever she is thinking is a hint.

Chapter 29

Song: T-shirt by Shontelle

Rose's POV

This time it didn't make me crumble to the floor, I took a deep breath, drawing in the ache in my heart, the sting your words left. Then as I let that breath go, I let the agony go with it. I shook my head lightly, sighed and went to have a shower.

I realised later that of course, I hadn't let the misery go. I could feel it throbbing, in the back of my mind, pushed aside and locked out. But that didn't stop my courage from coming back, relief flooding through me, soothing my tight muscles.

Courage to keep my word, on so many things: telling Adrian the truth, protecting Lissa, killing a monster, believing and trusting Christian, letting Dimitri go.

But for tonight, keeping my word by going to see Adrian, in a t-shirt that says 'fresh to death' on it.

For the first time since that day, I saw something other than a murderer and a mess when I looked in the mirror. I saw myself, I saw someone who had been through a lot, but someone strong enough to forget it all. I saw someone who looked alive, the Rose who could be beautiful and sexy. I laughed at my reflection, however did I become so sentimental?

Rose was back and she was taking the welcome home party to Adrian Ivashkov's room for the night.

I don't know what I was prepared to do tonight, but I did have an aim. Well, quite a few aims that could all be achieved at once. I was going to get revenge at the world, everyone who was daring to harass me. I was going to ditch Cameron and let him get shocked if he did find me, I was going to reassure Adrian that I did in fact care about him, I was going to forget. I was going to make you watch this, if you were so into stalking me and always watching. Because whatever you said, I couldn't let myself believe you weren't evil, not when you were watching me, following me, haunting me. So, I was getting my own, if you were at all the same, this is what would have hurt you the most.

Tonight you get to watch another pretentious Moroi taking advantage of a Dhampir girl you cared about.

But you were wrong; I was taking advantage of him.

Knock, knock, knock... A crashing sound as someone tripped... whispered cursing as the lock got stuck... finally the click of the door.

"Rose!" Adrian exclaimed as he saw me, standing on his doorstep smiling mischievously at him.

"Adrian..." I said nodding and pushing past him into the room.

"You made it. I was sceptical, but here you are, before dinner even." He grinned happily.

I held up a paper bag of food, smiling back at Adrian, his joy contagious.

He raised his eyebrows, smile never faltering as he questioned me:

"So, we're eating here, then?"

I nodded.

"Lissa...?"

"And Christian..." I added, "Busy."

He laughed lightly, grabbing the bag and some plates from a cupboard, walking over to the couch.

I took off my coat and threw it on the table before sitting beside him. He look surprised and raised his eyebrows,

"Well, well, Little Dhampir, it seems you were serious. Here I was thinking you could only be sarcastic or mean." His grin was huge and made his eyes sparkle.

"I had to compensate you, wouldn't want any debts left unpaid." I said smiling back.

While we ate I fought an internal battle. I still loved Dimitri but I shouldn't still love him. It was irresponsible to be with Adrian even if only for a night but why should that matter? I am irresponsible.

Adrian's mood didn't drop at all, he was happy and alive. I don't think he had even had a drink yet.

"So... what does this mean?" He finally asked quietly.

That was what I was trying to figure out. I had things that needed to be accomplished here and I wasn't going to say 'Oh, I just have to get revenge at my stalkers, yeah, I managed to get two of them and I'm desperate to forget all that's happened recently. I figure sleeping with you will do all that and hey, it'll probably be fun too so why not?' Because that would be mean and I did care about him, it was more than all that. I should have given him a chance long ago.

"What? You don't think you're worth being with me?" I teased then sighed, "I care about you, and I know I don't act like it much even when you're going out of your way to help me but I truly do. I want to give you a chance; do you still want me to?"

"Yes, of course. But I don't like being the rebound guy, I'm Adrian Ivashkov, people don't use me as a last option." He stated.

"You're not – " I tried but he cut me off.

"I know, Rose. It doesn't matter, because I wouldn't care if I was the rebound guy to you, if you give me a chance, I'll make sure you never think of me as a rebound guy ever again." He laughed lightly taking some of the weight out of his worlds.

"Since we're being truthful here, maybe we should clear the air about a few things." I said looking down.

"Yes, I think that would be a great idea." He said gently.

I took a deep breath, "I'm not... completely recovered or whatever. I'm just Rose and there are things I haven't told you, like where I was last night, but that's because you don't need to know. You think you want to know but it's just depressing, so you really don't. It's not some other guy or anything like that, so don't worry about it. I've only just figured out that this isn't the end of my life, only hours ago I saw that there were more reasons to live than I had thought. But I care about you and I want to have fun with you tonight." I spoke quickly, looking down at the couch and only met his eyes when I was finished.

He smiled, "Thank you – for telling me, for being here. I get that there's a no returns policy, damaged goods and so on, but that's okay."

"Adrian..."

"Yeah?" He asked curiously.

"Would you care if it was only for tonight?"

"Hmm... depends. Is it?" He asked.

"I don't know. No. I think." I said unsure, but my confidence was still there, even if he said yes, I won't be with you if it's only for tonight, I would have convinced him to.

"Well... that's enough for now. Old habits die hard for both of us, don't they?" He said smiling sadly.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Our reputations, some of that was true, right? Neither one of us was exactly committed to anyone but we weren't alone either. Not saying I'm as bad as everyone says or that you were a slut or anything. I don't believe rumours after all the ones I've heard about myself." He picked up his plate and started eating again.

"I really hope all the rumours about you weren't true..." I said laughing.

"I think some of the rumours about you were true though..." He smiled and reached out a hand to play with my hair, "You are as beautiful as they say. Not to mention the attitude problem..."

I laughed and leaned back against the couch watching him go back to munching his food happily. With the age difference between Dimitri and I, it was so obvious because he never acted childishly when I so often did. But with Adrian, he was still growing up too, only sometimes did I see the years between us.

After we ate we sat, laughing at rumours people had spread about us but also listening intently to each other, respecting each other as no one else did especially when considering the rumours we were discussing.

"Then he got pissed off that I'd been with his girlfriend and told all his friends, loudly, in front of my mom, that I'd slept with all four of their girlfriends in one night and that all of the girls had watched each other doing it..." he said grinning.

"Seriously? In front of your mother? That's pretty good revenge actually. Did your mom say anything to you after...?" I asked, covering my mouth to hide my laugh.

"She was very proper about it, of course, until we were behind closed doors and the maid was dismissed. Then the truth came out. She was so furious, yelling about our reputations and my future even when I said I hadn't done it. It didn't matter; she blamed me for it all." He said shaking his head and smiling.

"Oh, that is so unfair! People are always going on about reputations, it's so fake! One time Alberta heard that I had spent the night in one of the royals' rooms when I was like sixteen or fifteen and she went on for ages until I yelled 'you're not my mother' and stormed out. I feel kind of bad about that, I mean she's probably the only reason I didn't turn out to be like the rumours say I am." I smiled as he took my hand, drawing patterns on my palm.

"Let's just see if I can't ruin all her hard work in one night." He said teasingly.

"Hey, this is Rose Hathaway you're talking to; I don't need your help to be a slut!" We both burst out laughing.

It turns out Adrian was being uncharacteristically opposed to alcohol, though I had a feeling he was just getting over a hang-over from said alcohol. I think he was worried about me and alcohol after Lissa and I's breakdown.

"Well, Adrian, I think it's about time you got your t-shirt back." I said standing up.

He looked up at me with bright, hopeful, surprised eyes as if expecting me to take it off right there, so that he had a perfect view. No way was I making it so easy and boring.

I laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him off the couch.

"I don't like this deal, it's so unfair... I don't get anything out of it." I said pouting playfully.

He brushed his index finger along my bottom lip, "Ah, I'll make it fun for you too..." He grinned.

"There's just something I want..." I said looking down and fiddling with my bracelet, was I really doing this? What if Dimitri was watching, wherever he was now?

"What's that, sweetheart?" He said leaning closer to me and brushing his hand across my cheek.

"Um..." I said unsure, if I could ask this of anyone, it was Adrian. I knew I shouldn't be doing this but I wanted to and right now that was enough.

"What do you want?" His hand brushed my hair back, drifted over my lip before resting on my cheek.

I sighed, closing my eyes and mumbling softly, "For you to bite me..."

He pulled his hand back and stood up straight, "Uh...?"

"I had to do it with Lissa when we were on our own and... I remember it..." I said looking at my toes.

"You got hooked." He whispered.

I shrugged and continued staring to the ground, after a few more minutes of silence, I looked up at him through my lashes, and he gave me a half smile that was indulgent and forgiving.

"Little Dhampir, all these things you ask of me, things that test me so much... But I can't say no." He took my hand, silently letting me know that I had no need to be embarrassed.

"You're kind of amazing..." I murmured, pulling him over to the bed.

"Same to you, Little dhampir."

I smiled and kissed him, pulling his shirt over his head, my hands roaming over his chest.

He kissed me again and again, sliding his hands slowly under the hem of the t-shirt and edging it up and over my head.

"Mine..." he whispered as he tossed it aside. He looked me over grinning like a little kid at Christmas.

He leaned into my neck, kissing it gently and letting his tongue slide over the skin, licking it a few times, endorphins already starting to give me a buzz, before moving to my ear and whispering,

"Ready?"

I grinned at him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He licked my neck again, and then kissed it, quickly sinking his teeth into my skin while I was distracted. The pain was gone in a moment and I was slipping into a blissful, dizzy trance.

"Are you okay, darling?" he asked pulling back and running his hands over my shoulders.

"Yeah..." I said leaning into him, in a complete state of paradise.

"You seem a little high..." He said amusement clear in his voice.

I giggled, "Don't let that stop you." And with that I pulled him against me and started kissing him again.

He chuckled and ran his hands down my sides, "I would never have expected this..."

"I'm exceptional." I whispered in his ear.

He smiled and moved down to my neck, kissing, nipping, licking, teasing. Eventually my daze wore off, but like any feeder, I had to go back for more, there is no out once you've gotten yourself hooked. Of course, it wasn't my choice at first – I had to keep Lissa alive.

I pulled Adrian's hair, moving his mouth back to my neck, "More." I growled to him.

He placed a soft, sweet kiss there, "No, you're already too far gone. I shouldn't have done it the first time."

I was on the verge of getting mad at him but when he felt my muscles tensing he sat up, pulling me against his chest.

"Don't be mad, it's okay," he cooed, "This isn't you, you're not a feeder, remember?"

I closed my eyes inhaling his scent – caramel and clove cigarettes.

He rubbed my back, drawing swirling patterns, and we sat like that for a long time.

He eventually told me he wouldn't do anything more tonight, as much as it broke his heart to admit it. He could see that it would be wrong and taking advantage of me. So, after he insisted that I drink soda, apparently for the sugar and eat a sandwich he had made, I fell asleep in his bed, cuddled up to him.