We arrived at the park, arm in arm, looking like absolute fools. I didn't mind, though. When I was with Eli, the rest of the world's opinion never seemed to matter much to me. We fell down under the big tree on the side of the park, still out of breath from all the laughing we had done. The branches dipped so low that leaves brushed the side of my cheek. The wind was perfect. Everything was perfect.

"What now, boss lady?" Eli said breathlessly. I hadn't realized it before, but I had to say, Eli was working the new Degrassi uniform. Red really was his color.

"Now, nothing," I replied confidently, "Now, we just lay here."

"You are so boring Saint Clare! Where is the intrigue?" First of all, where in God's name did he hear that nickname? I thought I was rid of that with my new image (lack of Catholic schoolgirl uniform and glasses, haircut, etc.). Second, boring?

"Oh, well I'm sorry we can't all be ingénues like Clara Edwin. If you'd like me to become a prostitute, just say the word, and this little ring on my finger is gone. Anything to escape the pitiful fate of being boring," I teased.

"You know I'm only kidding. You could never be boring." Good answer.

Eli slowly leaned in to kiss me. I loved his kisses. They were so...sigh-worthy. When Eli kissed me, I felt important. I felt like I ruled the world and nothing could hurt me because I was in control. I loved that feeling. It was so different than kissing K.C. With K.C., kisses had been awkward and made me feel inadequate. I never felt like I was doing anything right with him. He always seemed to find a way to make me feel like I didn't understand him, and never would. With Eli, though, kissing allowed me to get to know him better. I felt his vulnerabilities; I felt his strengths. Better than either of those things, though, I felt his passion. Unlike with K.C., with Eli, I felt loved.

His hands slowly began to wrap around my waist, tighter than ever before, and little shocks went through my spine to the tips of my toes. I deepened the kiss, hoping I could make it last forever. I think if this moment lasted until my very last breath, I would die a happy girl. I started wondering if anything could ever feel this real forever. My ring started to feel unbelievably heavy on my finger all of the sudden.

"Stop," I forced myself to spit out. God, I really wanted to keep kissing him. He didn't say anything, just raised his eyebrows at me in confusion.

"It's just that, if I keep kissing you, I don't…I just don't trust myself to make the right decision. You know?" I was so embarrassed that I stole this moment from the both of us.

"Trust me," he said with a smile, "I know." He began nodding his head and used his perfect green eyes to look straight at me. "But, just to be clear, what exactly is the right decision?" His face lit up with a suggestive smirk.

"I'm not having sex until I'm married. It's just a Christian thing. I don't know, after what happened to my sister, I've realized that my virginity is just like this really important thing. I think that it's important to wait for the right person. Which is obviously only the person that you marry."

Eli looked towards the grass beneath us. His smirk had faded and now he just looked embarrassed. Oh. No.

"Eli…do you have something you want to…um, tell me?" I wasn't sure if I really wanted to hear his answer. That's a lie. I didn't want to hear his answer one little bit.

"Well, you know how people judge you for being Christian, Clare?"

"Yes…"

"I, uh, I just don't want you to judge me for anything," he said nervously.

"I am not judging. This is a judge-free zone. Whatever it is, you can tell me, Eli. I think we've kind already been through the worst as far as secrets go." Images from his hearse that day he told me about Julia flashed back into my mind. I knew what was coming, anyway.

"Okay. Well you see, the thing is…I didn't…wait."

I know I promised no judgment or whatever, but this was kind of difficult to deal with. This new, tiny bit of information opened up so many new questions that burned on the tip of my tongue. Questions ranging from, 'have you been tested for STD's?' to, 'WHY?' I hated imagining Eli being one of the many teenage statistics of kids that have sex in high school. Why Eli? My Eli? The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. The sadder I became. I mean, was God okay with me dating someone who was…impure? I knew it wasn't okay for me to marry someone like that. Oh, God! This kind of complicated everything. I didn't want to admit it, but right there, Eli changed before my eyes. He wasn't Eli anymore and suddenly, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to see him in the same light again.

"Clare? Clare, please say something." His eyes were pleading for an answer. Suddenly, my thought process shifted again.

This was stupid! Eli was Eli, and I was Clare, and that was all there was to it. It took a bit of convincing, but I was finally able to realize that the Eli that sat next to me now was the same Eli that I had met months ago. He shouldn't have to cower in fear of something that happened before he met me. Just because I believed in abstinence, didn't mean that he had to have the exact same belief system as me.

"It's okay, Eli, really," I said.

"Really? So you're okay with this?" He looked so hopeful, so happy.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "I am okay with this." I smiled back at him. He really was beautiful.

"Now, back to something more important," I began, "how are we going to spend the rest of this beautiful afternoon?" Every afternoon spent with Eli was beautiful.

"We could go to your house?" he suggested.

"My house? My house is a little…" Awful? Broken? Empty without my father?

"My house it is," he finished for me. Thank you.

When we got to Eli's house, he opened the door for me and hung up his jacket over the banister. I had seen his house from the outside before, but the inside was so much different than I expected. The walls were painted a classic shade of light yellow, and picture frames lined the narrow hallway towards the kitchen. Most of them were of natural, earthly things like leaves and mountains. I did manage to find one of Eli, though. He looked about ten years old. His big crooked smile (minus a few teeth) beamed through the photograph. He was just as adorable then as he is now. Except now he was handsome…and sexy. It was a little perplexing to see Eli before he started looking all dark and mysterious. In the photo, his hair was a lighter shade of brown and cut much shorter than it was now. He was dressed in a blue and white striped shirt and had on chestnut brown cargo shorts. I loved seeing Eli in colors.

"Enjoying the view?" Eli said as he crept up behind me.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was staring," I said awkwardly.

"It's understandable. I was one sharp looking kid, if I do say so myself."

"Your incredible modesty never ceases to amaze me, Mr. Goldsworthy.

"That's what they tell me," he said with a smile. "Alright, now. Let's go."

"And where exactly would we be going?" I said with a cock of my head and bounce of my curls.

"Just upstairs. Come on." With that, he was already sprinting up the long carpeted staircase to his bedroom. His bedroom. Did we not discuss this earlier?

As I walked down the upstairs hallway to his room, I started to say, "Eli, I don't know if I should really be—" Unfortunately, stepping through the door of his actual bedroom shut me right up. It was pretty much how I expected it to be. I mean, it wasn't painted all black with skulls and crossbones everywhere, but it wasn't exactly Barbie's dream house, either.

The room was a bright red color with a small black bed against the far wall. On another wall, he had his CD's. Shelves and shelves of Dead Hand and Alexisonfire and Avenged Sevenfold stretched on forever. He had one large window the overlooked the street. Across his bed was a small iPod that seemed to still be blasting music from it. I smiled to myself a little when I noticed the small little ear buds that were plugged into it. It was flattering to know that I got to hold his good pair of headphones hostage.

There was something very thrilling about being inside Eli's bedroom. The actual room where he actually slept each night. It made me feel so much closer to him. I just wanted to touch everything and take everything back home with me. Especially one of his jackets. They always smelled like him. They reminded me of him, and having one of his jackets would come especially in handy if things got worse with my parents. I wanted a jacket to remind me of him. I wanted to have anything and everything that reminded me of him.

Eli lay down on his bed and crossed his legs. I wanted so badly just to lie down beside him and fall asleep in his arms. His beautiful, warm arms. I knew my boundaries, though. If I let myself get too carried away, bad things could happen; would happen. I wasn't about to throw all of my morals out the window for this.

"Eli, I have to go. It's getting kind of late. My mom is probably wondering where I am. Thanks for today, though. It was really great." Why couldn't I just stay?

"Yeah. Yeah it was pretty great, huh?" He asked with a smile.

I nodded back in reply.

"Do you need a ride home? I can drive you home if you want."

"No," I said in my most innocent voice, "I can just walk home." I wasn't leaving here without that jacket.

"Are you sure, Clare? It really wouldn't be any trouble to drive you. It's not like I have anywhere else to be." Don't be difficult.

"Of course I'm sure. It's just a little cold out and—"

"Then, let me drive you home."

"I am fine walking, I just forgot to bring a sweater—"

"It's cold out…you have no sweater…why can't I drive you?"

"Damn it, Eli just give me your jacket already!" I blurted.

He smirked said through giggles, "You want my jacket?"

"Yes, Eli. I want your jacket."

"Take it," he said as he tossed me one of his many black coats. "Now can I give you a ride home?" That was easy.

I smiled at him and nodded.

"Your chariot awaits." He motioned elaborately with one arm towards the door and followed me out of his bedroom. I hastily put on the jacket. It was a perfect fit.

NOTE: I am feeling exponentially better about this chapter! It just feels better to me, you know? Well, anyways, you know what to do! Keep reviewing please, and thank you to all my fabulous readers!