I hated the fact that it was difficult to remember a time when I enjoyed being home. A time when home was a sanctuary away from all the dramas of high school. I used to inhale the sweet air of my home with a smile and a hint of nostalgia from my childhood. It used to smell so inviting. Now, it just smelled like soot and failure.

"You know, you don't have to be so absolutely infantile, Randall!" Great. Dad was home. And they were fighting. Again.

"Infantile? You want to talk about being infantile, Helen? Then explain to me why you care more about church fundraisers and frivolous brunches than being with your own family; working on our relationship!"

"You know that's not true. You are twisting everything I do around and trying to make it seem like I'm the damn bad guy in this whole mess!"

"Oh, just shut the fuck up, Helen. You know, your vanity never ceases to amaze me. Maybe, just, maybe, this isn't about you!" He paused for a moment. "Look, I just can't be here right now." Heavy footsteps approached me at the door. My dad looked at me unapologetically, and left the house, slamming the door behind him.

"Randall! Randall, come back here!"

I didn't say anything. I was sick of getting involved. It was almost as if, without Darcy, they had nothing else to do but fight. With no family ordeal to distract them, this is how they filled up their free time. God, I hoped to never be like that. They were just so angry all the time. My stomach lurched from inside of me. I hated thinking about my parents' problems.

Instead, I thought about something more alluring.

Eli.

Elijah Goldsworthy.

Elijah…insert middle name here…Goldsworthy.

Did he have a middle name? I bet it was beautiful just like his other two names. My mind ached to know more about him. I wanted, needed to obsess over every detail that composed him, starting from his artificially deep brown hair to his sharpie-painted black nails. Why did he have to be so captivating? He somehow had managed to become the perfect escape from all of my problems.

I tiptoed upstairs to my bedroom, praying the floorboards wouldn't creak. Maybe if my mother didn't hear me, she wouldn't realize I was home and wouldn't try to talk to me. I couldn't stand discussing our family issues with her. As much as I wanted answers, I was pretty damn sure that our little family didn't have much more time. The fact that they were dragging out their inevitable split just seemed downright cruel to me. Whatever. WhateverWhateverWhatever.

I turned on my iPod and blasted some Alexisonfire. It turned out to be just the right medicine for a time like this. I listened to song after song after song, slowly letting my conscious mind pour out of me and my entire body went numb. I liked being numb. I liked anything that helped me escape the pain of my pathetic family life. When the music finally stopped, I placed Eli's big headphones around my neck and started chewing my bottom lip. Now, I needed a new distraction. Great. What now? I tuned to my computer and decided to see if Eli was on IM.

clare-e23 is now online.

eli-gold49: miss me, edwards?

clare-e23: can't live without you. But…actually.

eli-gold49: completely logical.

clare-e23: so here's the deal. I need a distraction, and tonight, you are my muse of choice. distract me. on your mark, get set, go!

eli-gold49: distractions, eh? hmmm…I think I might have one. and it's pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. ;)

clare-e23: eli…

eli-gold49: yes, dear? I could practically hear his mock innocence in his voice.

clare-e23: you know what I'm going to say. how about we try a distraction that allows us to keep our clothes on, shall we?

eli-gold49: why, clare! I am shocked! such impure thoughts from such a chaste girl! I was merely going to suggest a movie night.

clare-e23: oh, shut up, eli.

eli-gold49: ;). I have an even better idea.

clare-e23: I'm waiting…

eli-gold49 is now offline.

What was he talking about? As much as I adored his Eli antics, I would have liked to be clued in a little bit. Ten minutes later he was on my balcony. Firstly, I was so scared when I first saw him standing there that I almost leaped out of my own skin. And yes, I did have a balcony. Granted, it didn't exactly have a door, so whenever I want out there, I would have to crawl through the window, but, you give and you take, I guess.

Believe it or not, Eli's pale complexion was even more handsome in the moonlight. The haze of light coming from above him bounced of his skin and radiated from within him. God was he perfect. His hand lifted to the window and tapped on it three times. When I was finally able to open it, he simply smirked and said, "Come on, then."

"Where are we going?" I asked incredulously.

"Adventure."

"I asked for a distraction, not an adventure, Eli."

"You're the boss," he said before leaning in and kissing me. It made my cheeks glow red and my whole body crave more. All I wanted was to keep kissing him. His full lips were basically the definition of "kissable." I must have been the luckiest girl alive to get to kiss him whenever I wanted. And yet, I found myself wanting to do more than just kiss him. I wanted to lunge forward and pull him through to my room. My bed, to be specific. His warmth seemed like enough to burst my bedroom into flames. I loved this. I loved him. There was absolutely no emotion that could surpass the high I felt when I kissed Eli. It felt like love, but I didn't know for sure. I had never been in love before. Maybe this wasn't love. I didn't care, though. Love ruined everything, anyway. Well, marriage ruined everything. Wrong again, it was fucking Christianity.

Fuck purity rings. If my own parents couldn't work out their problems, what was the point? Seriously. What was the point of religion, anyway? Was it created to make life easier, more bearable? It certainly was not doing so for the Edwards family. If anything, it just caused more problems for us. It made Darcy feel like she was a bad person for being raped. It trapped my own parents in a loveless marriage. Most importantly, though, it prohibited me from doing what I wanted to do most. I wanted Eli. I wanted him more than anything else in the entire world. Why wouldn't God want me to be happy? Why was He doing this to me?

"Clare," Eli broke away from me. He could tell something was wrong. I raised my eyebrows and looked at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," I lied. He didn't need to know about my moral dilemma. He was probably sick of me being such a prude, anyway.

"You sure?" It was so cute that he was so clearly worried about me. It made me feel special.

"Definitely," I said, pulling him back towards me. "Want to come inside, Romeo? It must be getting a little chilly out there." I wanted him in my room. So. Fucking. Badly. Without an answer, he began climbing in through the window. Success.

NOTE: Hey guys! Long time, no see! I've been here, lurking around creepily, just lost my inspiration to write for a few days. It's probably due to the fact that I've been reading "All the Pretty Horses" for summer reading. Could someone call up Mr. Cormac McCarthy and tell him that his story lacks proper punctuation? Apparently it gets good soon. Oh, right. Eclare. So I KNOW that the fluff has been raging in my story so far, but don't worry, my friends. The drama is about to hit next chaptah. Hard. Get pumped. Also, I added that balcony bit because I actually have that balcony off of my bedroom, and it is so annoying! Who puts in a balcony with no door? Srsly, man.

Reviews are the best!