I do not own Twilight, I'm far too normal (or weird, depends on how you look at it...) to own it! It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

When both cars pulled up in front of Jasper and I, I didn't even bother paying any attention to the driver of the Volvo, even though I could feel his green eyes on me, afraid that I would tear into pieces, and climbed into Emmett's car, where I was greeted with Jane's and Alice's warm embraces and the car's peaceful silence.

How will I get through this? It surprisingly, didn't bother me that I didn't have an answer.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Need You Now

By

Lady Antebellum

Without You By My Side

Bella's POV

Five days. It had been five agonizing, slow days since that horrific day at the mall that destroyed so many things I had believed so strongly in. Five days since everything that I've known practically collapsed on top of me, proving to me just how wrong I was about so many things. Five days, in which I have been spending in sweats and loose-fitted shirts, moping on my bed or around the house. Five days since I had lost Edward.

Just his name brought tears to my eyes, and an ache in my chest that didn't seem to have an ending. Of course, I never really expected that ache to fade away, I just had to get used to living with it, maybe even for the rest of my life.

At the start of it all, for a second, I contemplated the pain that Jacob left me to deal with and the pain I was suffering at the moment. There was no doubt in my head, which this pain was so much stronger than anything I've ever been through, and I doubted if it will ever really fade completely away. There were just some things that couldn't be healed with time, and this was one of them.

Nobody asked questions about what had happened, not my parents, Emmett, Alice, or friends. I was fairly glad that I didn't have to relive the day though. However, Emmett, Alice and Jane seem to have a fairly good understanding of what happened, and they were smart enough to leave me alone to cope with my feelings by myself. For that, I was eternally grateful.

I was trying my hardest to act normal around everyone, I went down for dinner with my family and Jane's at the dining room table, when someone asked a question I answered politely, but I doubted anyone believed my act. There were still the worried glances, or the comforting smiles they threw my way. So lately, I had been avoiding everyone when I saw the opportunity.

I wasn't the only one avoiding everyone, though. Alec had been acting mighty strange lately, he almost looked guilty, but I didn't pay enough attention to figure it out.

Rosalie had called the day after the mall, asking if I was okay and if there was anything she could do; my answer had been a single ''no''. I really have not spoken to anybody since then. Sure, they all came to the house, or on many occasions I heard Alice speaking to Rose on the phone about meeting at her place. Thankfully, they all seemed to avoid me, all of course except one.

Edward had not shown his presence around the house, but he did call countless times. I was actually beginning to regret the new phone my parents had gotten me after they heard of my other ''missing'' one. My voice mail was almost filled with his messages, but I didn't bother erasing them, knowing he will fill it up once again anyway. After I didn't answer his calls, if he even expected me to, he changed his tactic and texted me instead. I wanted to block his number, but my stupid new phone kept asking for the password I put it right after I got it three days ago. I couldn't, for the life of me, remember the damn password.

I was starting to hate technology. I was sure it had something against me.

Many times, I was tempted to just listen to one of his messages, to give him an opportunity to explain what happened. I wanted to believe that what he wanted to tell me was that it had been all a misunderstanding, and that his feelings for me hadn't changed in the least, but at the same time, I didn't want to risk the chance that he will say something completely opposite of what I hopped.

Part of me didn't want to risk the chance that all of what was coming out of his mouth will be laughter. I couldn't risk it.

Either way, I liked lounging around the house, with nothing or nobody to really bother me.

At the moment, I was sitting in my piano bench, just staring out the window in the back wall that faced the front yard and street. As far as I knew, everyone was out doing something. My mom wanted to show Gianni the wonderful things about living in such a small town, which were not much to start with, and catch up, of course Esme joined both of them. The three men decided that they might as well go fishing. Alec had, as usual, disappeared in the early morning right after breakfast, leaving Ali, Em and Jane, who went shopping with everyone to get those dresses.

I didn't know if Edward had joined them and if he had brought anyone with him, but I needed to tell myself that that didn't matter. Edward could do anything he wanted now, and so could I.

''This sucks.''

No matter how bad I didn't want to admit it, I was conscious that I really missed everyone. I really should have not allowed Edward to drive me off my family and friends that I loved. If he had already destroyed the trust I had in him and my heart, I didn't want to allow him the pure satisfaction of being alone.

Tired of being alone in the room, I went downstairs to grab a quick snack. I walked slowly down the stairs and turned to head into the kitchen. I was just fixing myself a quick sandwich, when I heard the back door open. Startled, I turned around with the knife I had been using in hand, as a weapon, just in case it was somebody dangerous.

I realized that if it was an intruder I really didn't have a chance, even if it was a man attacking with a banana. With the luck I had, I would probably end up stabbing myself with the knife...and the banana.

Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about it seeming as Alec was the one that startled me.

''Wow, Bella, put the knife back down. Don't hurt yourself,'' he said with wide eyes, staring at the knife in my clenched fist.

I rolled my eyes at my actions, just taking a knife and pointing it at people, really Bella? I placed the knife in the counter so Alec could relax. ''Sorry, I didn't see who it was, you just startled me,'' I explained.

He nodded and smiled sadly and started to walk up the stairs.

''Wait!'' I called rapidly without thinking. I wasn't sure what I will say to him, thank you for making me see the truth? But stopped him either way.

He turned back to look at me with a curious expression, waiting for me to talk.

''Why have you been avoiding everyone?'' I asked.

Truthfully, I was more than a little curious as to why he suddenly was avoiding everyone, specially wearing that troubled and pained expression. He stared into my eyes for a second, there was something in his eyes that was burning, but I couldn't figure it out. Anguish? Pain?

''Why do you care, Bella?''

I took a step back from the venom in his voice. His voice was ice cold and hard, I stared at him wondering why the sudden change.

''I don't know,'' I answered truthfully.

''Well,'' he laughed bitterly. ''It's not like you can say anything about it.''

I bit back tears again. Why was he acting like this? What had I done?

''I guess you are right,'' I said as I pushed him out of my way to race upstairs and into the music room, sandwich and hunger forgotten.

Edward's POV

''...Please leave a message after the beep.''

The now familiar sound emerged through my phone and I once again prepared to leave another message. Not that Bella ever answered them. I couldn't even be sure that she listened to them, but no matter what I couldn't blame her.

I had heard through Rose, that Bella was miserable right now. She didn't talk to anyone any more, always spent her time moping around the house, and everything will make her wince, though she pretended everything was alright.

I took a deep breath before speaking into the phone. ''Hey Bella, it's me again. I know you don't want to talk to me, and I can understand, but please give me a chance to explain. Please...just give me the benefit of doubt, love. Please.''

It was nothing absolutely new. Almost every time she never answered I left a message similar to all the other ones. Though I prayed this time she will take the time to listen to it, and return the call. Allowing me the perfect opportunity to explain everything to her.

I closed my phone, but kept it in my hand...just in case she called back. I still hadn't lost faith that everything will turn back to normal, which Bella will return back to me. I wasn't ready to give up the feelings I had when she was by my side; maybe I'll never be.

The last five days had been literally hell. I saw Emmett, Alice and Jane around the house, but neither Bella nor Alec were ever present. I had begun to worry about this, but when I voiced my worry to Alice she told me that she barely saw Alec around the house anymore. Apparently, he was missing half the time.

I couldn't hide that the fact pleased me greatly. I had not gotten my answers from Alec yet, and as soon as I saw him, I will without a doubt, be demanding them. I was aware that I could stop by the Swan's place and see if I could catch him to talk, but I never gathered the courage to drive there.

Truth be told, I really hadn't been anywhere lately. I had considered going to the meadow, but soon crossed that out because that place will remind me too much of Bella; my Bella. So I stayed home dressed in sweats, though I didn't bother with the normal charade.

Some times, I will sit in my car with my phone and keys in hand, trying to gather the nerve to ride up to Bella's, but I wasn't able to. It killed me to see what I've done with everything, to see just how messed up things seem to be, but I couldn't take it back. I had to live with myself and everything that was happening around me.

Bella was omnipresent in my mind, not that that was unusual, and I couldn't seem to take her out of there. I would have been happy if the memories that played in my mind were that of a smiling Bella, but all I could replay was the hurt and betrayed look that had haunted me in my consciousness and in my dreams.

There was a quiet knock on my bedroom room, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

''Come in,'' I called with hoarse voice by the lack of use.

Rosalie came in with a comforting smile, seeing me sprawled in my bed. I had to hand it to her, she had been nothing but comforting the past few days, making me happy that I had such a great sister. When she wanted to be anyway. ''I wanted to ask you if you were interested in going to the mall with us-'

''Us?'' I questioned, planning to go if Bella was.

Rosalie bit her lip, and action that reminded me too much of Bella, but sighed loudly stepping into the room and leaving the door ajar. ''Edward, Bella is not coming either, but maybe you should go to distract-''

''No thank you,'' I cut her off, as politely as I could.

''You are not the only one who is hurting, Edward. We miss both of you guys, maybe it's time that you both stopped being so damn stubborn and make up already.''

I rolled my eyes. ''It isn't as easy as that, Rosalie, things are by far more complicated than that,'' I clarified.

Rosalie shrugged and proceeded to sit on the edge of my bed facing me. ''Well, then go and talk to her, maybe things can be fixed quicker than you think,'' she suggested.

I shook my head and groaned. ''No, Rose, I'm pretty sure things would not go so smooth. Bella hates me right now, not that I blame her exactly-''

''See that right there is why you can't fix things! It was not your fault! And you, along with Bella need to see that!''

''Okay fine, let's say that. But even if it's not my fault, will she ever forgive me anyway?'' I asked, after all maybe Bella will get past me and run into the arms of another man. That hurt to even think about.

''Of course she will, Edward. I'm pretty sure she loves you-''

''How can you be so sure?'' I questioned, a bit taken back by her words.

''Are you blind? She smiles every time she sees you, she always talks about you, she watches you with so much love and adoration,'' Rosalie explained. ''And you do that as well, don't try to hide it. You are both head over heals in love with each other, but you just can't see that.''

''I know I love her,'' I whispered.

''Then why don't you do us all a favor, and tell her that already?''

I groaned again. ''It's not that easy, she is not just going to jump into my arms when she hears three words,'' I argued.

''But those three words aren't just words, they are your feelings! She will love to hear that from you,'' she disagreed. I just shrugged, not really wanting to argue anymore. It didn't matter what I said, Rosalie seemed sure that she will win at the end.

''I don't want to go, Rosalie,'' I repeated the answer to her previous question.

She looked as if she was about to argue, but I just raised my eyebrow and waited for her to leave my room to give me some privacy. She sighed unhappily, but got up and closed the door, maybe a little too harshly, on her way out.

As soon as she was gone, I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling aimlessly. I had my whole afternoon in my hands, and as much as it pained me to admit it, I was too much of a coward to go to Bella's house at the moment.

I was scared of her reaction at seeing me there, and is she allowed me, her reaction to hearing what really happened. Maybe she wouldn't believe me, and I knew that will hurt, seeing as she didn't trust me anymore.

All I wanted right now was for her to be in my arms, where she belonged. Every single time I held her, I couldn't get over the feeling that her small body fit perfectly in my arms.

She was perfect, funny, sweet, gorgeous, and anything positive in the dictionary. She'd make me laugh along with her every day with her hilarious remarks.

I loved her so much, everything. She didn't seem to be able to see the perfection I saw in her, but when everything was over, I'll show her. She was everything to me and it pained me that I had lost her, she was my world, and without her I couldn't live. I couldn't breath. I couldn't...be.

As I thought this over, I felt the hole in my chest opening further, and I knew that I will fix this between us. I had faith that we will pull along, with struggle, but fine. I will make sure she was back where she belonged, and I was too.

If it was the last thing I did...

Actually, I will much rather have much longer than that with her. Forever didn't seem to be nearly enough.

There it is! Thanks to my wonderful Beta for doing everything!

Okay, so I have planned two more chapters and then an epilogue and then after that, I'm still overthinking the sequel thing.

Please review!