Hey guys, sorry this was late. I blame Love-el-ly Joy :-p Kidding. Really, though, I start to run out of steam towards the end of stories and I don't want to do that, so I'm trying to work through it while still delivering a good story. But only two more chapters after this and I should be done. Hopefully the light will dawn as I start to write this week and all of my glorious plans for the chapter will click into place. I just finished reading an extraordinary and unique fic, so it may have gotten the creative juices flowing again. We'll see :) Anyway, thanks for the patience and thanks for the reviews. Like I said, next chapter should be an awesome one :D Anyway, let me know what you think of this one. If there's something you'd like to see, a moment or a scene or anything, let me know. I won't promise it'll end up in the fic, but, while I have the big showdown all planned out, I don't really have anything else worked out, so I'm open to ideas to help the pacing and the lead up. Which also means poor Love-el-ly Joy will be faced with me whining "I can't think of anything for this scene. Boo hoo" to her every couple of days if I don't hit upon an idea that sparks another idea and so on :-p Meanwhile, hope you enjoy this one!
"Willow, I promise," Buffy said from her hospital bed, "I'm perfectly fine. You don't need to come out here; you have enough to deal with."
"You say you're fine," Willow's voice came over the speakerphone," but you've been known to lie about that. I know you, Buffy; you're liable to overdo it too soon and wind up back in the hospital. You got hit in the head with a car. Take it easy."
"I couldn't be taking it any easier, Will. Really. Fred's holding me hostage in this room here and she recruited Angel, Giles and Anne to make sure I stay here. I'm a prisoner," she said sullenly.
"Good," said Willow. "I knew I liked Fred."
Buffy glared at the phone.
"Buffy, please," said Willow, her voice breaking slightly. Buffy's face instantly softened. "Take it easy. I can't lose you too."
"You won't. I promise. Wills, you have more important things to worry about right now."
"No, I'm okay. Really."
"Will, I'm not okay, I don't believe for a second that you are. Don't try to get through this on your own, not again. Lean on Xander. He's a grown, semi-muscular man, he can take it."
"Semi?" came Xander's indignant shout from the background.
Buffy smiled but continued. "You're not alone in this. And I'll be there as soon as I can beat this thing."
"Don't rush it. I'm doing fine, really."
"Don't even try it," said Buffy. "I'll concentrate on getting better if you concentrate on yourself."
"Fine, but you just say the word, Buffy, and I'm there with some witchy healing," said Willow, her voice filled with false bravado.
"Thanks, Will, but I've got my own supernatural healing. Which everyone seems to have forgotten about. Besides," she said pointedly, inducing everyone in the room in her significant glance, "I'm fine."
"Buffy, if it were anyone else, I'd confine them to bed rest for at least a week," said Fred. "I know you have super healing, but you got hit in the head by a car. You need to give yourself at least a day before trying to move around."
"Listen to Fred," said Willow.
"Of course I'll listen to Fred," Buffy said innocently. "Why would you assume-"
"Don't even try the innocent act. Why do you think you're talking to? I'll only stay over here if you promise to stay in bed all day."
"Aww, come on, Wills! I've fought hell beasts in worse shape than this!" Buffy whined.
"I know you can't see me right now, but I have my resolve face one. Even the Great Slayer of Sunnydale can't stand up to my resolve face."
Buffy's cheeks burned as Angel and Giles smiled at Willow's antics, remembering the earlier days of the Scooby gang. Xander could be heard laughing in the background on the phone.
Wesley raised his eyebrows. "The Great Slayer of Sunnydale?" he said quietly.
Giles chuckled. "Buffy saved a group of benign demons over in England. Every week for about a month, they showed up at our headquarters with fruit to pay homage to the 'Great Slayer of Sunnydale.'" Giles was still chuckling at Buffy's scowl. "I'm afraid no one has let her live it down since."
"I'm still waiting for the promise," Willow said.
"I promise I'll stay," said Buffy sullenly, a slight pout settling over her features.
"Good," said Willow. "Now I'll-"
"WAIT!" Andrew cried, bursting through the door.
Everyone looked up, startled and alert. Willow's now-alarmed voice could be heard over the chorus of "What is it?" Andrew cleared his throat and straightened his shirt. "Willow, please stay on the phone for this. I feel I may need your support." He paused dramatically, looking around the room. "I'm glad you're all here for this moment. I have an announcement to make. Willow, is Xander there?"
"Hanging on your every word," Xander said dryly over the phone.
"Good," said Andrew. "Thank you all for gathering."
"We didn't-" Gunn began.
"It's best just to go along with it," Giles told him.
"For so long, I've kept um… a part of myself hidden. I've… uh… carried this secret around for a while now. Like Clark Kent and Peter Parker, I've hidden this part of me from the outside world-"
"Here we go," said Xander over the phone.
"Like Bilbo Baggins, I've carried this secret burden-"
Buffy's head dropped back onto the pillow as she groaned.
"But finally," he continued, "I've decided to reveal my burden with Frodo, Galdalf and the Fellowship."
Buffy frowned. "Wait – who's Frodo in this scenario?"
"I realized that in order to truly be free, I must release this burden and spread my wings-"
"Get to the point, Andrew," said Willow.
"And as I do so, I realize that the only acceptance that matters is the acceptance of my true self-"
"Andrew, if you don't get to the point soon, I will make you spit it out, bed rest be damned."
"My friends," said Andrew, pausing long enough to get Angel's crew, relatively unused to his theatrics, sitting on the edge of their seats, "I am… homosexual."
There was a moment of silence until Lorne spoke up. "Wait, did we not already know that?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Well we did. We would have told Bilbo here if he was confused."
"Were you actually… in the closet before?" said Gunn.
Giles was cleaning his glasses with a handkerchief and, for once, Wesley almost missed his glasses for just such a purpose.
"Thank you for your support, Willow," said Andrew.
Willow, who hadn't said anything, supportive or otherwise, replied with a non-committal "Yeah, well… good for you," with Xander muttering in the background about how often Andrew "accidentally" grazed his ass. "Okay," she said, "well, Buffy, if you need anything, just give me a call."
"I will. Thanks, Will, and take care of yourself."
"You too," the witch said before hanging up."
"Okay," said Angel, "now that we got that… uh… taken care of, Fred, Lorne, I need you guys pounding the pavement, trying to find out who or what this thing teamed up with."
"Take Andrew with you," said Buffy.
"Have I done something to offend you, slayerkins?" said Lorne quietly. Buffy smiled in response and glanced over at Andrew, who was getting his hand smacked away from Spike's hair.
"Andrew is one of those people who, as soon as you become completely convinced of his total uselessness, he goes and surprises the hell out of you," she told him.
"You sure you're not just trying to keep him out of your room while you're trapped in here?"
"Well you could take me with you instead," she said sweetly.
"Nice try, blondie."
"Are we there yet?" whined Andrew.
"Almost, sugar pie."
"I have to pee."
"So you said," said Fred. "Repeatedly."
"Right up there," Lorne cut in, pointing to a seedy looking bar just ahead.
"Don't you know any demon bars that aren't sketchy looking?" said Andrew. "This is, like, the fourth hole-in-the-wall you've taken us to."
Fred raised her eyebrows. "Have you ever seen a respectable looking demon bar?"
"Hey!" said Lorne, offended. "Caritas was decorated with a certain flair, I like to think."
"An exception to the rule," Fred allowed as they stepped into the bar. She looked around pointedly. "But I think the rule still stands."
"What can I get you guys?" asked the bartender, walking up to the trio.
"Some information, pal," said Andrew, trying to look menacing. "And we ain't gonna leave till you tell us what we need to know!"
The bartender raised his eyebrows.
"Uhh… why don't you go hit the bathroom, there, Sparky," said Lorne.
"Oh… yeah," said Andrew, about to do a potty dance. "Um, where is it?"
Andrew ran off in the direction the bartender pointed, leaving Fred and Lorne with the bartender. "Sorry about that, Joe," said Lorne. "We are looking for information, though, if you have it."
"I'm not a snitch, Lorne. That's not my game," said the bartender warily.
"I know, pumpkin, and I wouldn't ask, but this is life and death."
"It always is."
"Have you heard of a demon who's trying to take out the Slayer?" asked Fred.
Joe-the-bartender settled his gaze on Fred. "There's always a demon who's trying to take out the Slayer," he said.
"Yeah, but this one's making waves. He's trying to take out the whole slayer line, starting with the head honcho," said Lorne.
The bartender sucked in a breath, then eyed them for a moment. "From what I've always heard about the Council and their slayers, that might be a mercy."
Fred's eyes widened. "A mercy?"
"Things have changed," said Lorne.
Joe tossed his rag to the side and scanned the bar out of habit, before meeting their gaze. "I've heard that rumor."
"The head Slayer and her watcher are in LA as we speak to personally deal with this thing."
Joe's eyes widened upon hearing that rumor confirmed. "Personally? Things really have changed."
"Yeah, and let me tell you, blondie doesn't take kindly to her girls getting picked off," said Lorne, pointedly bringing the subject back to the Dankaar.
Joe sighed. "I make it a policy not to know anything about anyone or their nefarious plans. I find it's better for my health. I really can't promise you any information."
"Hey, so what'd I miss?" said Andrew, bouncing back to them.
Fred cleared her throat. "Um… not much. Hey, why don't you and I go take a look around while Lorne and Joe finish chatting?"
Joe shook his head. "No, I think we're just about done here." He looked at Lorne. "You're welcome to poke around here and talk to whoever you want, but if I get any complaints, you're outta here."
Lorne nodded reluctantly. "Thanks, sugar pie. I guess that's all I can ask," he said as the trio walked away.
"Man, this blows," said Andrew with a pout.
"Another bust," Fred agreed.
"Not, necessarily, sweetcakes," said Lorne. "Joe may be cautious, but he told us we could look around."
"You think that's his way of telling us something's here?" asked Fred.
"He plays his cards pretty close to his chest, but it's possible we'll find something here."
"Smart man," said Andrew.
Fred frowned at him. "So where to we start?"
Lorne glanced around what appeared to be a very rough crowd. "Um… maybe we should just start looking around first, before we try talking to anyone," he said nervously.
Fred chuckled as they walked out of the side door to tentatively explore the alley beside the bar. "Am I the only one who wonders why they asked the playground rejects to go on this mission?"
"Hey, we know what it is to deal with physically intimidating creatures. We're no strangers to pain and humiliation," said Lorne.
Fred smiled at him. "Very inspiring."
"Swirlies aren't so bad if you know the janitor's schedule. Wedgies still suck, though it depends on your underwear," said Andrew.
"Girls tend to go more for psychological warfare," said Fred. "I knew a few girls in high school that would make Machievelli proud."
"I always thought-" Andrew broke off as he tripped over a foot. "Oh, sorry," he mumbled until they got a closer look at the figure lying on the ground.
Lorne got a sick feeling as he noted the unusual tint to the demon's skin. "No."
Fred tried to gently shake his shoulder. "Sir? Are you okay?" She shook him a little harder. "Hey, are you-" she broke off in a horrified gasp as she turned the figure over and looked right into the unseeing eyes of Steve.
"Oh god!"
Angel placed a glass of water in Fred's hand.
"Somehow it knew he had talked to us," she was saying. She took a sip of her water, trying to get herself under control. "I mean, I know a bar isn't the more circumspect place to go, but-" She broke off, putting her head in her hands. Angel wanted to do the same. He was so sick of death.
"Boss?" Harmony's voice piped in over the intercom. "The nurses caught Buffy trying to escape her room again."
Angel bit back a frustrated sigh even has the amused glint entered his eyes. "Spike?" he said, turning to the blond vampire.
"You're not surprised, are you?" Spike said.
"No," said Angel, running a hand over his face. "I would be going crazy too. Could… could you just pop in and keep her entertained? Keep her from going stir-crazy?"
Spikes eyes widened in surprise. "Yeah, sure," he said, recovering.
"Good," said Angel. "Thanks."
Spike nodded and made his way over to Buffy's room. He opened her door to see her up and pacing the room. Upon hearing the door open, she jumped back into her bed and covered herself up, super-speed and all, but not quite fast enough.
Spike grinned. "Good effort, but you're stuck here for now."
Buffy scowled darkly at him. "At least it's you and not that sadistic harpy of a nurse."
"I may not rate as highly as Captain Forehead, but I'm glad I rate higher than sadistic-harpy-nurse."
Buffy's scowl deepened. "Spike…" she warned.
"Don't scowl so hard; your face might get stuck like that."
"Do you really want to piss of a slayer with a whole lot of energy to burn?"
Spike cleared his throat. "So! Um… how's life in here?"
"Fine. So fine, in fact, that I think I've made a 100% recovery and can leave any minute now."
"Uh huh. I'm sure," he said plopping down in the chair next to her bed.
"Come on, Spike, you've seen me back on my feet and fighting evil in worse shape than this."
"Not my call, pet. Though I would take it easy after taking a car to the face, if it were me."
Buffy still glared at him.
"Right, entertainment. Hey! Look! A TV!" said Spike.
"The only thing on is Days of Our Lives. I'm pretty sure two of the characters are vampires, which makes me itch for a good slay."
"I don't remember you being this petulant, slayer."
"I don't remember ever being held hostage in a hospital room!"
Privately thinking that if someone didn't let the slayer out in the next few hours, she was going to tear the bloody door off its hinges, Spike looked around the room for something to amuse her. Spotting a pile of Barbie dolls nearby, obviously for any kids stuck in there, he picked up a Ken doll and looked at it for a moment.
"You know who this kind of looks like?" he said.
"Who?"
"A certain ex-commando ex of yours."
"What?"
"Surely you haven't forgotten about Riley, pet."
Torn between annoyance and curiosity, she just stayed silent as Spike rooted through the Barbie clothes box until her found a pair of cammo pants and an army green shirt. Crowing in triumph, he quickly put them on the Riley Barbie.
Buffy smothered a smile as she took in the startling resemblance between the doll and her ex.
"'Captain Cardboard here, reporting for duty!'" said Spike in a low imitation of Riley.
"Spike…" she said, the warning in her voice undermined by the slight laugh accompanying it.
"'Why Buffy,'" said Spike-as-Riley, "'You're so hot, my masculinity is not at all threatened by the fact that you can kick my ass!'"
A quick giggle escaped Buffy before she could stop it. It only encouraged Spike further as he made the Riley-Barbie strut around in his cammo.
"We had a good relationship for a while," she said, defending her ex. "It was probably one of my more healthy relationships," she said, pointedly.
Spike snorted. "I don't know about that. How did the boy even keep up with you?"
Buffy's face flamed as she glared darkly at him. Sensing that he was treading into dangerous territory, he went back to his impersonation.
"'You see, I have no problem with strong women since my mentor is a woman. She's also psychotic nut who read Frankenstein a little too much but apparently never got to the ending. That's not a problem, is it?'"
Buffy rolled her eyes, hiding a smile.
"'Oh Buffy!'" exclaimed Riley-Spike, as the doll touched her arm. "'It's so wonderful to meet a girl who hates all HST's just like me!'"
Spike quickly grabbed a darker haired doll, dressing it in black and trying to get its hair to stick straight up. Satisfied that it was as good as the doll would get, he made the new Barbie punch Barbie-Riley in the face.
"'Who are you?'" asked Barbie-Riley.
Spike dropped his voice even lower into a rumble. "'I'm Angel! Helper of the helpless! I'm… the ex-boyfriend!' Dun dun dunnnnnn"
The Riley-Barbie faced Buffy, its unchanging expression looking somehow more pathetic than before. "'Suddenly I feel so inadequate,'" Spike's voice got a little squeakier. The Riley doll turned to the Angel doll. "'You will never out-macho me!'"
"'I've out-machoed fledglings more macho than you!'"
Buffy was, once again, unable to stop the bubble of mirth that escaped her as Spike had the two dolls break into a fight, or at least a bizarre Barbie-approximation of a fight, complete with sound effects.
"And don't you forget it."
Spike looked up from his Barbie's to see the real Angel standing in the doorway, a smile playing around his lips at Spike's antics. Buffy's quick laughter dissolved into full out, belly laughs at the horrified look on Spike's face upon being caught playing with dolls.
Spike recovered. "Captain Forehead."
"Captain Peroxide."
Buffy held up the Riley doll. "And I guess Captain Cardboard makes three? I'm sensing a theme here."
They were saved from any attempt to respond when Giles poked his head in. "Oh good, all three of you are here."
"Oh captain my captain!" Buffy exclaimed to Giles, before dissolving into giggles. She got back under control only to realize all three men were staring at her. "Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint," she said, rolling her eyes.
"You were right," Giles said to Angel, "she is going stir-crazy."
Angel chuckled a little. "Did you want us here for something?"
"Yes!" the watcher exclaimed. "Wesley and I have found the breed of demon that trapped you in the street. Wesley is telling the others."
Buffy leaned forward. "What is it?"
"The only demon we've found that has the power to create specialized force fields against its opponents are the Westiff demons. They're usually harmless, only using their powers for self defense, but it appears in this case…"
"It teamed up with the Dakna demon to use its powers for evil," Buffy finished.
"Dankaar," both Giles and Angel automatically corrected as Spike smirked.
"Okay, that's good to know. Giles, get back to researching the Doo-dad. It's good to know about the Mastiff thing, but I think we need to get back to figuring the first demon out."
A muscle ticked in Giles' jaw. "She does that just to get to me, I'm convinced," he told Angel.
"I'll…" Buffy started to pout. "Just sit here until my jailers decide to free me."
"Well, you could," said Angel. "But that would be a waste of all the time I spent convincing Fred to let you do some Tai Chi with me."
Buffy leapt out of the bed. "Really?"
Angel put his hands on her shoulders. "Rules. You can ONLY do Tai Chi – there is to be no sparring, running, jumping, or anything else overly strenuous, or Fred will kill both of us. And if Fred walks in and decides you're over exerting yourself, you have to go straight back here."
Buffy just nodded eagerly, "Deal."
The two figures sat in their shadowed room.
"Are we going to go for the Slayer any time soon or has this been a pleasant way to pass the time?"
The Dankaar stared at his companion with narrowed yellow eyes for a few moments. Not for the first time, the Westiff demon had the feeling his partner could see far more of him than he was comfortable with. The Dankaar finally spoke.
"Two days."