Esme had lent us her cottage somewhere in a different island. We used another cheaply made mythical creature to fly there. The house was perfect. It was small and since I don't really know how to describe other things (that are not Edward), I will just say it is pretty and awesome and pretty. Edward first checked the room.

"Drat. There's only one bed." He muttered.

"YAY! The closer we get to each other, the better!" I yelled happily.

"Why me?"

"Because you're hot."

"Any other reason?"

"Nope."

"That's pretty shallow."

"I want to be with you every moment forever!"

"What? That's redundant."

"Ooooh. A new brand of ants?"

He did a face palm. He muttered something about "Why can't the undead die?"

000

It was night time already. Edward and I had not done anything fun just yet. So this was married life. Your significant other ignoring you while you marvel at his perfection. I poked him. He was asleep, which was weird because he told me vampires don't sleep.

"Edward." I whispered. He murmured something like "potato". I poked him again. "Edward." I told him, louder. Nothing. I leaned near his ear and yelled "EDWARD!" He shot up.

"What the hell Swan?" He yelled back.

"Want to do something married people do?" I asked him.

He groaned. "Taxes?"

"No. You know. What they do when they're on their honey moon."

"Fight."

"No. The other thing."

He frowned. "Oh." Then he looked like he was about to puke. "I'd rather do taxes. "

"Well we don't live together. Yet." I smiled at him.

He cringed. "Never will."

"But Edward! You are perfection! A boring, awkward Mary-Sue like me would never leave your perfect side! Even your breath smells perfect!" I told him clutching his arm. He pulled away. He was strong so I was thrown to the other end of the room.

Immediately, a huge crowd appeared. Also a referee and a wrestling ring.

"On this corner, the perfect sparklefairy, Edward Cullen!" The referee yelled. The crowd went wild.

"And on this corner, the boring, awkward twitcher, Bella Swan!" The referee yelled. The crowd became silent. "Let's get ready to rumble!" He yelled. The crowd went wild once more.

Then Edward, wearing pink tights, ran to me and slammed me down to the floor. I tried to get up but Edward had me on choke hold. He did a lot of other things to me. He really loved me.

At some point, I realized we were not wrestling. We were actually consummating our marriage.