The how-to-get-over-the-love-of-your-life handbook
This chapter evolves around how Arizona deals with Callie's quick exit in last chapter.
Chapter 2: How to compose yourself
She left… She actually left me alone, crying…
Was she confused? Scared? Mad?
Arizona is standing outside the hospital looking at the entrance, where people were walking in and out like on any other day.
It's a day after the incident in the on-call room. Arizona had been crying all night. She hadn't slept because of the tiny coffins. She had been too scared to even try to sleep, she knew they would appear in her nightmare, the tiny coffins. She used to have Callie holding her and calming her down when the nightmares came, but without Callie she was too scared to fall asleep.
What if she is in there? What am I supposed to do then? Talk to her? Ignore her?
Arizona frowned as she thought about Callie and what had happened the day before.
Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. But it wasn't Callie, she could tell. The hand didn't feel like Callie's. She would know if it was her.
Arizona looked back over her shoulder and saw Lexie standing behind her. Lexie moved to stand beside Arizona and looked at the hospital, just as Arizona had done a few seconds ago.
"You okay?" Lexie asked with concern in her voice.
"Yeah, I'm super." Arizona replied in a perky voice, trying to cover up the shiver in her voice.
But Lexie noticed the uncertainty in Arizona's voice, but she didn't turn her gaze away from the hospital.
"Ya'know… I stand out here to sometimes… A lot lately… After everything with me and Mark, ya'know. I've been standing here a lot." Lexie said.
Before Arizona had a chance to respond Lexie had started rambling.
"Well, when I'm not eating that is… I eat a lot too… Like all the time. I have a Snickers in my purse right now." She continued waving her purse in front of her. "I can't help it, it's just what I do when I'm lost, broken and ya'know alone."
"I'm worried I might get fat, and then Mark won't ever come back… He don't do fat girls… I already gained some pounds…" Lexie now looked sad, but she had not once moved her eyes from the hospitals entrance.
"Lexie…" Arizona tried.
"No, it's fine… He has already moved on by the way… Teddy, yeah, not just some nurse, no… Teddy…" Lexie inhaled sharply.
"Lexie! Stop. Okay… Take a deep breath." Arizona tried to comfort Lexie.
Lexie did as Arizona told her. This really wasn't how she had planned on comforting Arizona. But she had thought comparing hers situation with Arizona might show compassion. She hadn't thought her rambling would take over like this.
Arizona and Lexie were now looking at each other for the first time during their conversation.
"Wanna go to Joe's after work?" Lexie asked, hoping that Arizona would keep her company. And that maybe they could feel bad together.
"Sure, I'd love that." Arizona smiled slightly. Maybe it would be a good idea to get out of the apartment and spent some time with a friend. And they were going through similar situations, though Lexie had handled it way different than Arizona had.
"I'll meet you right here at around eight then?" Lexie asked, looking back at the hospital.
"Sure." Arizona said and started to move towards the hospital entrance with Lexie just behind her.
This conversation with Lexie had actually helped a bit. Well, she hadn't really come any closer to figuring anything out and she was still very confused and sad. But she had thought about something else than Calliope and tiny coffins for the first time in about 15 hours. It was kinda nice.
Later that day Arizona was walking into Joe's with Lexie next to her. Lexie steered them straight to the bar and ordered six shots of tequila, three for each of them.
"Here." She said to Arizona as she pushed three of the shots in Arizonas direction.
"Oh…" Arizona looked at the shots. She had never really been good at tequila shots, mostly because she thought they tasted bad, but she also got really drunk when she drank them. "Thanks." She said and gave Lexie a smile.
Lexie had already downed two of the three shots and Arizona followed suit, but took all three shots in a row. Now that she had started she might as well finish.
When Lexie saw that Arizona was already done, she also downed the last one and ordered six more from Joe.
As Joe placed the next six tequila shots on the bar Arizona was busy looking around the room. Some of the interns were playing dart and laughing in the corner. Some were dancing. Christina and Meredith had somehow convinced Derek to play a drinking game and he was already pretty drunk. Well, not as drunk as Christina, but no one could keep up with her drinking. Arizona's gaze moved across tables, stopping at one table and inhaling sharply. Then she looked back at Lexie, as if to see if she had seen who sat at the table. Lexie's eyes where focused on the exact same table as Arizona's eyes has just been.
"Lexie. We can go if you want to." Arizona said and looked at Lexie.
Lexie shook her head lightly while trying to gather her thoughts.
"Yeah, lets go… over there." She pointed at the table they had been staring at just seconds ago.
"What?..." Arizona began, but she didn't get any answer from Lexie, who was already on her way out of her chair.
"Wait! Lexie!" Arizona said in a low harsh voice.
But Lexie just kept on going. Arizona had no choice but to follow her now. She couldn't let Lexie make a fool of herself without at least trying to avoid it. She turned to the bar and downed the three tequila shots that Joe had just poured and turned to follow Lexie.
Lexie quickly reached the table with Arizona on her heels. The two people looked up from their conversation when they noticed the two very drunken girls standing by their table. Lexie could barely stand and Arizona had to take another step to the side to not fall.
"You need something?" Callie asked, she was the woman sitting at the table and she had just a moment ago been having a conversation with Mark, who was the other person at the table.
"Well. Yeah. We do!" Lexie almost yelled in Callie's face while looking directly at Mark.
"We need you two to stop being mean and start acting like… I don't know… something…" Lexie trailed off as she lost track of her sentence. Her drunken state wouldn't allow her to finish the sentence. And she waved her hand in the air in front of her, as if that would help her remember a word that was appropriate.
"I'm sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt…" Arizona said, while trying to compose herself, so that she wouldn't start crying in front of Callie.
"No… We did…" Lexie started again. "I eat a lot now… And that's because of you, Mark… You!" Lexie said as tears began rolling down her cheeks.
Arizona looked at the scene feeling completely helpless. What was she supposed to do now? Lexie was a total mess. The only one that could make her stop was Mark. So… Arizona looked at Mark with pleading eyes. Trying to get him to take Lexie outside and calm her down.
Mark quickly understood the look that Arizona gave him and he got up from his chair. Just in time to catch Lexie, who had tripped over her own legs. He supported her weight as he brought her out of Joe's.
Arizona hadn't really thought this decision, to let Mark help Lexie, through. 'Cause now she was standing, very drunk, in front of Callie, who was looking at her with confusion written all over her face.
Oh Crap!... Okay, easy now Arizona, compose yourself… Don't cry.
She thought to herself as she took deep breaths and looked at Callie.
"I… I'm sorry Callie… I couldn't stop her…" Arizona mustered to say.
Callie winced as she heard her nickname roll over Arizona's tongue. It was wrong, it sounded wrong. But she knew that Arizona was probably afraid to use her full name, now that they weren't together.
"It's okay…" Callie started, and then she suddenly blurted out. "Sit down."
Arizona took a seat without thinking. It was probably because of the many tequila shots that had gotten her madly drunk by now.
Compose yourself Robbins. You can do this… You can sit beside her…
"You want anything?" Callie asked as she noticed that she was the only one of them with a drink in her hand.
"You." Arizona blurted out without thinking. Her eyes widened in shock as she realized what she had just said.
Crap. Crap. Oh Crap!
Great job at composing yourself Robbins!
She yelled at herself in head.
Callie just looked at Arizona without knowing what to say. What could she say in a situation like this. She wanted Arizona too, but they had broken up. They wanted different things in life. She wanted children and Arizona didn't.
"I want you too, but…" Callie began. "We can't." She continued.
Before she could get another word out Arizona's lips were on hers. The kiss was hungry and passionate, but it was also a bit hesitant.
Arizona pulled away slowly and looked Callie in the eyes. When she saw confusion in Callies eyes she mentally slapped herself in the head.
Damn it!
Arizona quickly got up and turned around. Before she walked out of Joe's she took one last look over her shoulder to see her ex-lovers beautiful face covered with confusion.
The fresh air felt nice against her skin. She lighted a cigarette and started walking towards her apartment. The incident in the bar had totally cleared her head and all the alcohol had lost its effect on her. She now felt a deep pain I her heart as it broke once again.
Yep. Yep. She was definitely sober now.
Well it seems like Arizona has a hard time composing herself around Callie. She acts out of impulse and that creates a not so fortunate situation.
Spoiler:
Next chapter will include some action from Christina Yang.
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