The how-to-get-over-the-love-of-your-life handbook
Personal note: Sorry for the late update : ) Had a hard time writing this one, mostly because there were so many decisions to be made. Enjoy! ; )
So, as far as to following the rules of the handbook our girls haven't been doing that well so far. Instead of handling the situations in ways that would help them get over each other, they have made it even harder to get over each other.
This chapter is set the day after the baseball court and the meddling-plan.
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Chapter 5: How to talk it out
Callie hadn't seen Arizona all day. Her stomach had been in a tight knot all day because of the fear that Arizona might not want to see her after last night. They had kissed, and Callie had tried to tell Arizona that she was in this with all of her heart, that she wanted Arizona so much. But with the way it had come out, Arizona might have misunderstood it when Callie had said that she knew where she stood. And now she was standing in the elevator on her way to the PEDs floor, trying to figure out what to say to Arizona, if she could find her that is.
"Excuse me nurse." Callie asked as she walked to the desk. "Have you seen Dr. Robbins?"
"No. Not today. She called in sick this morning." The nurse replied with a smile.
"Oh… Thanks." Callie said and frowned.
Is she avoiding me? Oh god, I messed it up. I… I gotta see her.
Callie quickly turned around and walked towards the attending locker.
xxxx
As Callie opens the door to the locker room, she stops dead in her tracks, at the sight in front of her.
Is that Mark Sloan crying?
"Mark?"
Mark slowly turns around so that he is facing Callie. His eyes are filled with tears and he has tearstains on his cheeks. He tries to wipe away the tears with his sleeve before turning around, but when he sees its Callie he breaks down once again.
"Mark? What's wrong?"
"I… I'm lost Callie. I don't know what to do." Mark answers, his voice breaking as he finishes his sentence.
"What do you mean? What happened?" Callie asks with confusion and concern.
"Me and Lexie talked… Last night, at the baseball court, after we left you and Arizona alone." Callie had never seen Mark that messed up. He was her best friend, but he had never really cried in front of her, well… There was that time with Little Sloan, but that was different. Now… Callie didn't know what happened. How was she supposed to comfort him? She sat down next to him on the bench and pulled him into her arms.
"Oh… Yeah I really have to yell at you about that sometime. It was not nice to ambush us into talking Mark. Not nice." Callie said with a smile and poked him in the chest.
"Callie… I know… You and Blondie are just perfect and we wanted to… Well, help." Mark said, his crying had turned down a notch.
"I know. Thanks… Though I might have messed it up even more." Callie said frowning.
"Wait what? Callie, what did you do?" Mark said as he sat up straight and looked at Callie.
Callie was taken aback by Mark's sudden outburst and pulled back a little.
"Wow, Easy boy." Callie said. "I might have kissed her and said some things, that I thought was clear, but she might have misunderstood them… I don't know… But she is not at work today… And, yeah… I don't know." Callie continued, looking more and more sad with every word.
"Callie, I'm sorry… I swear we were only trying to help… I also messed up at bit with asking Arizona to bring Lexie, when trying to convince her to come." Mark said looking down at the floor.
"Oh yeah, about that. What happened Mark?" Callie said, tilting her head, trying to catch his eyes.
"I told her I needed her, that I wanted to try again… And that I would end it with Teddy, if she would give me another chance." Mark said, still trying to avoid Callie's worried gaze.
"Oh… What did she say?"
"She said she would meet me for coffee… But I'm confused Callie." Mark answered and now he looked Callie in the eyes.
"Why? You've always wanted Lexie to give you a second chance. What's holding you back?" Callie asked with confusion evident in her voice. She knew that Mark would always love Lexie. She knew he never stopped loving her, even though he slept with a lot… and I mean a lot, of women.
"Teddy… She's great. She can give me a family… And Lexie, you know how I feel about her, but I'm afraid of being left again Callie… I… I just wanted to make her a bigger part of my life. I wanted to include her in my parenting. I wanted her to want me enough to be there for me and for Sloan… But Callie, she left me… She left." Mark said as he once again broke down crying.
"I know. I know." Callie said and pulled Mark into a tight hug. "I don't want to tell you what to do. But I know that being apart from the love of your life sucks… I would do pretty much anything to be with the love of my life right now. And if I had the choice… If I had a second chance… I would take it Mark." Callie continued. Mark opened his mouth, but before he could interrupt Callie continued again. "You love Lexie, Mark… You never said you loved Teddy… You tried to move on, but maybe you weren't supposed to move on… Just try, try again."
"You really think I should try again?" Mark questioned.
"Yeah. I really think so… Besides if you don't then Lexie might get really, like really, fat. She eats a lot, ya'know." Callie said with a smile on her face, trying to encourage her crying friend.
Mark sniffled a bit as his crying stopped.
"Ya… She does." He said with a laugh.
"So… Are you going to try again with Blondie if she gives you another chance?" Mark asked, suddenly getting a bit serious.
"I think I am… That is, if I haven't ruined it already." Callie said. "I was actually on my way to her apartment."
"What are you doing here then Callie? Go get your girl!" Mark said with excitement in his voice, a big smile covering his face.
"But Mark…" Callie was interrupted by Mark's finger on her lips.
"I'll be okay… Just go." He smiled and nodded towards the door.
Callie got up and walked towards the door, forgetting all about changing out of her scrubs. When she reached the door she turned around and looked at Mark.
"Go get yours too Mark." She smiled as she turned around and started walking.
xxxx
Hi Teddy.
Meet me outside the hospital after work.
Need to talk.
xoxo Mark
Teddy had replied quickly, saying that she would be there in an hour. Mark was already standing outside. The sky was filled with dark clouds. The Seattle weather would probably once again prove to be rainy.
Hah. My mood and the cloudy weather, totally the same thing.
Mark laughed to himself. And with that the rain began to fall.
Well… The cloudy and rainy weather.
Mark snorted as he pulled his jacket tighter around himself. He didn't seek hiding from the rain. He just stood there. The rain was calming, although it reminded him of his state of mind, it's drumming against the ground was still calming.
Teddy walked out of the hospital, looking around to see where Mark was. She had thought that they would just meet inside instead, since it poured down outside. But when she couldn't find Mark inside, she walked outside to see if he was there. As she spotted a manly figure she walked towards it. Stopping only a few feet away from it, she tilted her head.
"Hey." She said and leaned against the hospital wall.
"Hey…" Mark said before he continued. "We need to talk."
"Oh…" Teddy already knew where this was going. Since yesterday she had felt like Mark had avoided him. She knew he had talked to Lexie when they where at the baseball court. She knew the plan, she had been a part of the crew. Another flaw in Mark's side of the plan.
"Teddy… We've had fun… And you're great. Ya'know, really great… But I still love Lexie." Mark said as he looked at Teddy for the first time since she had arrived.
"I knew this was coming." Teddy murmured.
"I'm so sorry… I never meant to hurt you." And that was true. He had never meant to hurt her in any way. He had wanted to move on, he had tried but failed.
"I know you didn't… But I also knew about you and Lexie when we started it… And you knew about my feelings for Owen…" Teddy started. "And in a way we kinda tried to help each other get over a lost love… And… You're right. We did have fun."
"You're right, we were kinda in the same boat there." Mark responded with a slight smile. "So you don't think I'm just an evil Man-whore?" Mark asked with a frown.
"No. I don't. I think you were… What was it Arizona called it… Oh yeah. You were Man-candy." Teddy said and laughed loudly. "Ya'know… Eat it and forget about it… I guess I just chewed on the candy for a little longer than expected." Teddy said and laughed even harder. Now Mark laughed too. They had had fun, a lot of fun. And he was glad that Teddy didn't take it too hard. They had tried to help each other, but failed in doing so in the long run, but for a while it had helped. They had both forgotten about their hurting, even if it were just for a while.
"So… Are you just gonna stand here and laugh with me? Or are you gonna go get your girl?" Teddy smiled and punched Mark on the shoulder.
"Right, I should probably go… Thanks Teddy, for everything." Mark said as he started to walk down the street.
"Thanks to you too." Teddy yelled back as Mark disappeared down the street.
It was late. But not to late for coffee, since both him and Lexie was on-call tonight. And besides, for a surgeon, it's never to late for coffee.
xxxx
It was late when Callie finally reached Arizona's apartment.
This is stupid… She is probably already asleep by now…
Callie thought to herself while standing in front of Arizona's door. She was afraid to knock. She had practiced what to say, but what if Arizona didn't understand? What if she misunderstood again? Callie stood there for a couple of minutes trying to gather enough courage to knock on the door. When she felt as ready as she could get she knocked on the door.
At first no one came. Callie knocked again, a little harder this time. And then she heard footsteps. They were slow, it almost sounded like the feet where being dragged along the floor.
Arizona opened the door slowly. She looked at Callie wide-eyed.
"Calliope…"
"Arizona, wait… I… We need to talk." Callie said looking directly into the blue eyes.
"You have talked… We have talked… And the kiss… Calliope. I felt all the love in it…" As Arizona paused taking a deep breath wanting to continue, Callie cut her off.
"So… You know how I feel. Then why are you playing sick and staying at home..." Callie peeked inside the apartment and saw a box on the table. "With the Kleenex box."
Arizona looked over her shoulder and when her eyes once again met Callie's they where felt with tears.
"You said that you know where you stand… And then… I didn't know if the kiss had meant goodbye or I want you… And…" Arizona's eyes dropped to the floor.
"Arizona listen to me. Listen to me carefully." Callie said while trying to catch the blonde's eyes. "I know where I stand. I'm in this… I want this. Us… You and me together." Callie took at deep breath. "When I told you I know where I stand, I meant that I know I love you with all of my being."
"Oh…" Arizona murmured without moving her eyes away from the intense stare of her lover.
"I thought you would know… I thought, with that kiss, that you would know…" Callie said with tears in her eyes. "I never meant to hurt you, by making you doubt how much I love you."
Arizona turned her gaze to the floor.
"I…"
"Arizona just give me another chance to show you… I can't live like this… Not knowing whether to help you when you're sad, or talk to you at Joe's or at the hospital…" Callie was interrupted by a sniffle from Arizona.
Tears where now pouring down Arizona's cheeks.
"Calliope… I love you too… But…" Arizona took a deep breath trying to get the lump in her throat to disappear. "I still can't be the one who keeps you from having a baby… I can't… I need to not think about what I want… or need…" She had a hard time speaking through all the sobbing and tears. "I'm doing this for you… You deserve a happy life… with kids and a family… And I can't give you that…"
"I don't want kids if I can't be with you." Was Callie's only response as she took a step forward and kissed Arizona.
At first Arizona got lost in the kiss. It felt right and safe. But she quickly pushed herself away from the brunette.
"I can't… Calliope… You deserve…" Arizona stumbled over the words while she leaned all her weight against the door. "I think you should go." There where still tears in the corners of her eyes, and her voice was shaky, but she tried to remain focused.
I need to do this for Calliope… I need to save her…
"Arizona… Why are you so insecure about us? Don't you get it? I only want you… No one else… Just you…" Callie tried with tears streaming down her face.
"Please Calliope… Just go…" With that Arizona turned around, opened the door to her apartment and quickly closed it behind her.
But Callie didn't leave. She stayed outside the door. Her heart had been smashed into a million little pieces and the only one that could put it back together was Arizona. She couldn't move, physically and mentally, she couldn't move on.
xxxx
When Mark finally found Lexie she was sitting in a chair sleeping. For a while he just stood there watching her. Loving the way his heart rate increased when he was near her. Loving how he felt complete when being close to her and knowing that he was going to get second chance.
As if Lexie had unconsciously noticed his staring, her eyes fluttered open.
"Oh… Wow, what time is it?" Lexie asked, clearly confused.
"It's nine thirty." Mark said as he kept looking at her.
"How… Eh… How long have you been standing there? How long have I slept?" Lexie gave Mark a confused look, but she couldn't help a smile tugging on her lips.
"Well, I don't know how long you've been out for. But I've been here for a while." Mark said not realizing that he had just admitted to be staring at her while she was asleep.
"You've… Why didn't you wake me?"
"You just looked so peaceful and beautiful… So, I thought I'd let you sleep for a bit longer." Mark answered with a smile.
"Beautiful, well that's not true… I mean. I always look like a total dork when I'm sleeping. Mouth open, and.. and.. Snoring and everything." Lexie began to ramble while she stretched her body to try to get all the sleep out of her system. "Wait, you've been standing there looking at me the whole time?" She continued as she realized what Mark had really said.
"Well…" Mark paused. "Yeah."
There was a moment silence between the two of them. Some people might have found it kind of stalker-ish if your ex-boyfriend stared at you while you slept. But Lexie knew this meant that Mark still loved her. He had done it a lot when they where together and he had told her it was because he felt whole and complete, when he knew she was safe and peaceful.
"I could really use that coffee now." Lexie said with a slight giggle.
"Yeah, sure looks like it." Mark said and laughed a bit.
Lexie got up and as she walked up to Mark she thought to herself.
Should I take his hand? Or are we starting all over? I wanna hold his hand…
Her line of thought was cut off when she felt Marks hand grapping hers and intertwining their fingers. He looked down at her with a smile tugging in the corners of his mouth. Lexie smiled back. For the first time in a long while she didn't feel the need to constantly eat unhealthy food.
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Mark got his second chance. But Callie got her heart ripped out once again, because of Arizona's desperate attempt to forget her own feelings and do what she thinks will make Callie happy.
The only problem is that Arizona might be wrong about what makes Callie happy.
Spoiler:
Callie is not going to move on.
Arizona cries a lot.
Plus Mark and Lexie gives their relationship another chance.