Hey guys, two chapter up in one day? I must love you far too much. Ha ha :D

Anyways, enjoy the chapter! Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, even though my dreams are filled with it.

really.

Well sometimes...

All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them They know not me.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

Father and son by Cat Stevens

FATHER AND SON

18 November 2003

It was an hour ago, when I comforted Mrs Cullen. We held each other for a long time, that neither of us didn't want to go, but Mrs Cullen understandably fell asleep in my arms. I layed her slowly to the sofa, and asked one of the nurses to put a blanket over her. I wanted to do it, but seeing her worried and weak face asleep would make me cry my eyes out. And after that, I found myself at the doors leading to the morge. Where maybe Edwards body lay, dead. Frozen and his heart never beating. But whenever I thought he died or admitted that he might, I didn't sound convicng nor felt like I was telling the truth. I don't know. Maybe I was so confused and paralysed of my emotions to split reality and fantazises from each other. I stared at the white doors, looking through the frame into the corridor that looked as isolated as a desert. There were no souls wondering and I thought who would want to? I couldn't imagine people wanting to go in and out of the doors bringing new dead people, or looking at the faces of those whose hearts will never beat again. It must be scary. Hard, more than anything to tell the relatives that they had lost someone dear to them. But I blew the thought away and stared out the frame. I was desperatly still hoping that camera crew will run down the corridor with laughter and tell me it was all a big joke Edward planned. He would be leaning on the wall casually with his perfect crooked smile stuck on his face like glue, and I would run toward him, as our hands would meet, and I would hug him tightly instead of trying to kick his ass. I smiled, but not for long. What if he didn't walk out of the door, with his perfect skin, but instead, his skin would be burnt and no flesh was visible instead of his dark burned skin. I whinsed at the thought and I truelly came to realise that I was really torturing myself. I kept on being so percepistive, always looking at things the bad ways.

*Start Flashback*

I tried to choose one of the many best memories I had with Edward. But the most memory that stood out was when I first met him. The first time that I felt his lonely heart beat as mine. He was only 10 years old. In the park, when they first moved to Washington the unknown town in Forks. I remembered his sad ,lonely emerald green eyes, that I can never forget. His unique bronze hair was long and it came over his eyes. It made him look kind of dorky and geeky like! But I remember, pulling hands out of my jeans and slipping his bronze strands of hair behind his ears. I watched the nameless boys cheeks turn red and his smile rose from sides of his mouth. We were in the park his adoptive parents, which I was told later, was on the bench staring at him in anxious but somewhat surprised expressions. I felt myself blush by his smile and felt heat rise to my face like a hot lava. I remember him watching me while I built a sand castle in the small area that was filled with sand. His amazing green eyes never left mine, and I remember him watching closely, trying to figure me out. Edward was quite throughout the time we were on the park, and we made the perfect sand castles that could be made. After we were done, we stared at out master piece. At that time, it seemed like I made the most brilliant art in the world and I could be an artist, but now remembering the thought, made me laugh of my foolish, young thoughts. Remembering the memories, I couldn't forget what I did at that time. It was not what I would say to a stranger but I spoke with confidence. Well, confidence of a 10 year old. And how much was that? Well, not much...

" What's your name?" I remember asking and the boys mouth gawking open in total surprise. At that age, I thought he couldn't speak or that he didn't have any friends and he was just surprised someone talked to him. But to my own surprise, his face turned from shock to a warming grin and he spoke in a soft voice. It was almost angelic...

"Hi. Mine is Edward Cullen. Whats yours?"

"Mine is Isabella Marie Swan. You can call me Bella." I said and straightened my hand to shake his. He stared at it for a while and I thought he wasn't going to shake it but he took hold in a strong grip and shook my hand. I remember, his parents rushing over to him, laughing, his mother crying in glee. At that time I couldn't make up why they acted the way they did, but later on I found out that their child never spoke a word to anyone in years, or smiled, or laughed, or had any physical contact with another person. Not even a hug. I couldn't remember what I did after his parents destroyed our sand castles, but I remember him puting his hand on mine and promising me something.

"Don't worry Bella. I'll come again and we'll make a bigger one!" he gestured his hands to show how big it would be. I felt sadness vanishing away like wawes on a beach in seconds and pleasure placing it. It was a great promise. But before his parents took him away, I watched him close up inside his shell again, not answering the questions asked by his parents or leaving my eyes as he walked looked all sad and lonely again, not like the Edward that just spoke to me, who seemed to be full of life and joy. I felt strange at that time, but I ran as fast as I could to catch them before they were out of the gates. I wanted to comfort the strange boy who was a total mystery to me. Kids, eh? Always curious, always wanting to make friends...

"Edward?" I shouted and saw him stop in his tracks and his grin start to grow wider in his face. He ran toward me, leaving his parents dumfounded and frozen in place.

"Yeah, Bella?" he cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. He look really adorable when he was surprised. I unhooked the bracelet from my wrist that had a heart shaped charm on it with the letter 'B' next to it. I glanced at him, and watched his eyes grow wider in both surprise and pleasure. I took hold of his hands and placed the charm on the middle of his palm.

"It's yours, to show we are friends." I stared at his yes, that locked me and I couldn't move them. They were really mesmerising, and they still are. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it quickly. He closed his palm and placed it over his heart. I smiled broadly and knew that we were friends.

"Yes, we are friends aren't we? Thank you Bella." he said and turned to walk back to his parents but I took hold of his arm and turned him to face me. I softly kissed his cheek, raising my heels. I felt the rush of blood fill my face, and I knew that I must look red as a turnip. I stared at his thin lips while he bent down and kissed my cheek. To my surprise this time, he hugged me, in a soft and not strong hold. I knew I had a dream of him after he said the words that followed because it was the first time that I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

"I hope I see you soon, Bella." he whispered to my ear. It tickled my ear but it was funny, and I giggled. He gave a low chuckle and wawed his hand before running off back to his parents.

*End Flashback*

The memory felt so raw, it was as if it was yesterday when I met Edward in the park. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and again, it didn't follow into a waterfall. I wiped the tear away with my index finger and stared at the wetness. It was weird crying again. After I met Edward, I never cried a single tear again. I had promised and committed myself to not to cry but now Edward...gone, I knew I had nothing left to committ to but I still couldn't cry. Or I guess I didn't want to.

I felt a little tap on my shoulder and I jumped out in fear. I felt relieved when I saw Mr Cullen, Edward's adoptive father, standing in front of me. For a second, I thought it was one of the dead bodies. But Edwards dead body, was who I imagined. Even though I would have been afraid, to see Edward behind me live and well, I would be filled with an unending joy. But relief came to dissapointment when Carlisle Cullen's worried expression was what I saw next. Carlisle Cullen was Edwards adoptive father. He was compassionate, intelligent, kind and very good hearted man, who did many humanity works. He was one of the best doctors around, who did his job as best as possible, and he had a well known status in the community. Carlisle Cullen was six foot two inches tall, has blonde hair and grey eyes. He is 25 years old, but he always looked younger. He was an asset to the community, was how my father had decribed him. But I decribe him as Zeus's younger better-looking brother. He is slight but also a little muscular. I remember when I visited him once in the hospital, I saw the nursers stare at him, drool over at him was more like it. I always laughed at him, when he saw the nurses staring at him, and he would look at his clipboard in his hands if he was only concentraed at that. Oh, Dr Cullen. His eyes only saw Esme Cullen, his beuatiful wife of 5 years. They were school sweethearts, and they always stayed, and sometimes, looked like they still were. They were happy, with a big family, but now one of their members passed away. And I could see the loss in his body. His usual high held shoulders and head, were slouched as if he had giving up, walking witha straight back. His eyes, seemed darker, and I saw the pain. He forced a smile, but failed, because his eyes filled with tears. His eyes were red, and not enough sleep caused the same effect on him as it did on his wife. Purple sacks covered his eyes, and his eyes were puffy. I've never saw him like this. Never. Now he looked as how his wife looked. Really old.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked as he looked over my shoulder. He looked confused and more sad.

"Oh. Mr Cullen." I said trying to keep my voice unaffected by his appearance and kept a straight face. For some reason he raised his eyebrows and cocked his head expecting me to say something else. Then I remembered that he always told me to call him by his first name. He made everyone say his first name, even his children. When I asked before why he did that, he told me that because everyone was equal to him and he didn't like the 'Mr' that people called him making him seem somewhat more powerful than others. He also told me that he hated officiality. I smiled a little and spoke. "I mean, Carlisle." he smiled too and nodded in agreement.

"What are you doing here?" he asked next, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden. This place was now a weird place for him to be, knowing that his son layed in a cold tray inside a fridge like. Dead and frozen. It must be also weird talking to his colleagues about his own son, instead of some stranger.

"Nothing...I'm just...um... lost. Thats all." I lied. I hated lying and because of that I never could. 'You suck at lying', was Edwards exact words. Carlisle saw this and frowned a little. But he gave up and relaxed after I didn't say more. He shrugged.

"Whatever you say, Bella. I just wanted to check how you were?" he said and stared behind my shoulder.

"Don't worry about me! How is Mrs Cullen? I hope she's well." I quickly said and got his attention. He seemed like he just came out of a dream, but smiled, staring into my eyes.

"She's somewhat better,Bella. Somehow she is stronger."

"I'm really glad."

"To be honest,Bella, I heard you speaking to her. You are the reason why she is not thinking to kill herself, or that she hasn't lost her sanity. When you spoke to her you made her see. See the things that I or anyone else couldn't."

"I don't understand."

"You gave her the reason to hold on."

"Which is?" I pointed out, not knowing where he was taking this.

"Her children. You are the only person she would have believed. She would have trusted you and held on to your every word,because you were the closest to them. Especially to her dear, Edward."

"It's not me, Carlisle. I just told her what she wanted to hear."

"She's my wife, Bella. I would know what she needs to hear. Don't you think I didn't tell her already? She looked at me like if I was insane. She ran away into that room, and never came back out. Until you came."

"She chose what she believed, not because of a particular person. A persons choice is what makes them strong enough, to hang on. Right? You told me that, remember? Okay, maybe I just gave her a little nudge, but she still had the option not to believe. At the end of the day, it all comes down to the choices we make."

"Yes, Bella. I did but now that when you have the choice to believe either that your son had died or didn't, I think you would realise that I am not the perfect person to make rational choices at these circumstances"

"You were always wise, intelligent and compassionate. I will never change my opinion on that, Carlisle. No matter what the circumstances may be."

"I'm glad you think so."Carlisle said, in total amusement. There was a grin on his face but it didn't reach up to his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, child."

"His room. Charlie said that the fire was stopped before it went to third floor..."

"Yes, it did. It was an annoymous call from someone."

"So if I want to see his room, I can? I mean with your permission." I asked, wanting to bite on my nails. I felt nervous for some reason. I didn't know why but I felt as if I would get rejected by him.

"No need to ask. That house is much yours too." Carlisle explained but I felt a big lump on my throat that was too hard to swallow. I felt left out all of a sudden. I mean Alice and Jasper were going out. So was Emmett and Rosalie which was always a challenge to seperate them. Me and Edward would usually enjoy each others company and without one an other we would feel as if we weren't compelete. But know without him I would look at teh othrs with eny becauyse they had someone to be beside them. No matter how much close we all were, Edward was unreplacable. Even though some people find adoptive siblings going out together a bit weird, I didn't have difficulty understanding. Cupid can hit you with its arrrow, and make you fall in love with the most unexpected person. From this the Cullens weren't much different. They didn't choose to have each other as mates, but they were on the other hand happy that the decision was made for them. They were just right for each other. Like a mirror image, but with totaly opposite personalities. Emmett was the irresponsible, immature, funny prakster that always got a smack on the head by Rosalie. Ah! Rosalie was the responsible, fun, narsiccistic, a girl who always stuck to her guns and extremely loyal to her friends and family. She was also Alice' s companion on our fashion trips. Well, mine wasn't a trip, because I usually didn't have fun, because I was a doll for them. And Alice is the optimistic, fashion lover, the queen of parties and the most energetic out of all of us. We would automatically know if something is wrong with her if she is quite, and not jumping around with enery. Plus, she was sometimes annoying for her size, and she ALWAYS got anything she wanted with those puppy eyes of hers. But then there was Jasper. His calm, kind, honest interior makes it hard for anyone not to like him. He is really protective over his family and is in an unconditional love with Alice. They are all madly in love, and I knew that they would fight for one an other, or give up their lives for the other to live. That was one of the many things I like about the Cullens. Family was always their main priority, and anyone who came in between that was not let out unpunished. "Anything for you, Bella." Carlisle addedd, and broke me in mid-thought. I just smiled weakly, believing otherwise.

"I guess you wan't to see his room..."Carlisle trailed off.

"No. I mean partly yes, but-" I struggled for words. I opened my mouth but quickly shut it. It felt awkward talking to Carlisle about Edward. Not because I didn't want to or couldn't but he always looked at me like he knew something I didn't. Now this was one of those moments.

"No need for explanations, dear."

"No its not that its a secret or anything. Its his own secret. It maybe the only secret I don't know." I said in frustration. I hated the mysterious Edward, because he was so darn good at it. He would have that knowing smile that said I-know-something-you-dont!. But no matter how much I hated it, I also found it charming. Well, the I meant all the girls in the school.

"What is it?" Carlisle seemed to be interested in it too. A smile appeared on his face, but as usual didn't reach up to his eyes.

Oooh, a cliffy? Well you gotta wait to now what it is that Edward that we love so much is hiding...

You know what you have to do right?

Edward and me: *jumps up and down, screaming* READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW!