"And then I fell flat on my ass right in front of the judges table. Like skidded across the ice on my rear. I thought I was sunk then, but I still placed. They had a weird judging system and since the rest of my routine went so well…" Lisa shrugged. "I'll take it."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"So that's like ice skating anecdote number seven this lunch." She pointed out, shooting an accusatory look at her brother. "We're sposed to be catching up. You gonna tell me any exciting stories about being a super criminal?"

Len frowned. "They're not really exciting-"

"I beg to differ. I do watch the recaps on the news and read the paper you know. I've got a scrapbook devoted to your heists."

"Yeah, well it ain't glamorous to get your butt kicked by Flash on a regular basis. The guy's a bit of a sadist when he brings you in. Poor JJ's getting a vertigo condition from it."

"Uh huh."

"Seriously Leese, we get hurt a lot. Just ask our crime doctor. She's making a fortune off of us."

"You guys have your own private crime doctor?" Lisa asked. "Wow, so you really are organized."

"Eh…Kendra sought us out and we just kinda kept using her. She's convenient."

"Do I detect a sappy smile?" Lisa teased. She reached over (and up) to ruffle his hair. Scowling, he pulled back and held a fork in defense, ready to stab. "Somebody's got a cru-ush."

"I do not."

"Oh my god, you're actually blushing! Oh Lenny, who is this chick? I've gotta meet her. Please-please-please!"

"Oh for the love of…I didn't even want you to meet the other guys, why would I introduce you to our crime doctor?" Len snapped.

"Have you asked her out yet? Sent her flowers? Girls like flowers, but you can't cheap out. Roses, always go for roses. Oh! You should take her to one of my shows! The ice shows are surprisingly good dates, and then I can scope the bitch out and decide if she's good enough for you or not-"

"Can you please drop this? Jesus, you're worse than Trickster."

"So your friends know you like this girl?"

"Urgh…yes, Tricks knows I like Kendra, but it doesn't matter anyway." Len glanced out the window, a sour expression on his face.

"Why not?"

"Because Kendra won't date her clients. Found that out a couple days ago. At least this time it's not really rejection. I didn't have a chance anyway." He sighed.

Lisa decided she distinctly did not like that dejected look on her brother's face. "Well did you try talking to her about it? I mean, not dating your clients makes sense if they're all criminals, but you're responsible and you've got those rules and stuff, so you're not like other criminals. Maybe she'd make an exception."

"She'd make an exception for a looker, not for me. Dames are like that."

"Len, you're not ugly."

"You don't need to lie to me, I do have a mirror. I hang out with a guy covered in 'em."

"Len!" Lisa snapped. "Ask her out or I'm going to for you. She'd totally say yes if she knows you at all. And come on, you're tall and you've got all those muscles. Just don't wear the Eskimo parka or the silly glasses when you talk to her and she'll notice. Oh, and shave. Make sure you shave."

Completely against his will, Len was starting to feel hopeful again. Not as hopeful as when James had left him the cooler of spontaneous romantic date ingredients, but hopeful all the same. "You really think she'd make an exception?"

"Course she would. I mean think about why she has the policy. It's to protect her from overly fixated nut jobs. And you're not like that, right?"

Oh. Clearly she hadn't read any articles about that time he'd taken Iris West hostage or the smack down he and Heat Wave had gotten into over Dream Girl.

"Um, yeah, no, I don't do shit like that."

Lisa tossed some money onto their table to cover their bill and then yanked Len towards the door. "Come on, let's go shopping! We can get you a really flattering outfit and some new cologne so you don't smell like a middle school locker room-"

"Hey!"

"And I'll show you which flowers to buy." Lisa finished brightly.

"I should show up with flowers? Isn't that presumptuous?"

"Just trust your sister on this."

Piper jogged up the stairs of his apartment building, struggling with a bag of groceries in one arm and a bag from the electronics store in the other. He was excited about getting started on his next project, to the point where he'd probably toss the groceries right off to James to put away if the Trickster was still visiting.

Piper snorted. Like there was a chance James had gone home. Whatever, it wasn't an issue.

He reached a problem when he got to his door. "Um…shit, keys." He managed to get the keys out of his pocket and into his hand, but he couldn't reach the doorknob without spilling the groceries all over the hallway. He bent over to try biting the keys to get them to his mouth, and then into his other hand.

"Do you need help with something?"

"Hrm?" The keys fell to the floor. Piper attempted to scoop them up and spilled the contents of both his bags. "Fuck."

"Sorry. Here, let me help you." A young man with stylishly cut brown hair and a slight lisp crouched down to help Piper pick everything up.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Um, I'm James. I live down the hall from you."

"Hi. Piper. Nice to meet you." Piper winced, realizing he probably shouldn't have given any kind of variation on his villainous persona as his name. He had several aliases (including the one he'd signed the lease under) and his real name to choose from, after all.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you too. Um, good luck with your…" He looked down at the package of copper wire he'd been about to stuff back into the electronics store bag. "…whatever it is you're doing."

"Thanks." Piper defensively finished stuffing things back into the bag and nudged it aside.

"So, um, I'm actually new to this area and I was wondering if you'd maybe want to get together sometime. I'm still trying to meet people, and, um…you seem, um…"

"Sorry, I'm actually really busy. Maybe we could talk some other time." Piper unlocked his door, grabbed his bags and headed in while James was still trying to string together a coherent sentence. "Thanks for the help John."

"It was actually James." The man muttered as the door closed in his face.

Piper rolled his eyes. "James, you still here?" He couldn't hear cartoons or video games. "James?"

"Hey Pookie!"

"Rmrgh. James, come get the groceries, I want to get to work."

"Uh, busy right now. Ow."

"Stay still hon, I'm almost done." That was Kendra's voice.

Piper poked his head into the bedroom. James was wearing his costume, which was heavily stained with neon yellow paint. His hair and face were tinted pink, which was a worrying sign…yep, and now the bedding was stained yellow and pink. Kendra was sitting next to him, sewing stitches on his forehead.

"What did you do?"

"The, uh, revenge on Flash plan…it didn't go so well. Everything kinda backfired. I'm thinking next time less explosions." James said sheepishly.

"Or more controlled ones, certainly." Kendra said with a nod. "Just about done honey. How are you feeling? Do you need me to leave you some pain pills?"

"Still got some from last time. Thanks Kendra. How much do I owe you?"

"No charge this time. You boys all have three free house calls as my thanks for all your help recently. It looks like you might owe Piper a new blanket though." She started packing up her bag but was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. "Excuse me boys, I'm going to take this before I finish up."

"Fine, fine." Piper had set the bags down on the kitchen table. He went back into the living room where James smiled hopefully at him. Piper leaned over to look at the cut on his forehead, and then smacked the stitches.

"Ow!" James cringed, covering his head defensively. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I don't know, maybe the same reason you decided to patch up on my comforter! This isn't going to wash out James!"

"Fine, so the blanket's stained, I'll buy you a new one."

"No, you'll give me the money for a new one. I have no intention of having my bedroom look just as ridiculous as my living room."

"Piper!"

Piper stormed back into the kitchen and started putting the groceries away, more ticked off than he probably should have been. Kendra was sitting on the living room couch, giggling at something the person she was talking to had said.

"Alright, I'll head right over…yes, I'm just about finished…okay, no I'm not wearing…I guess I could change, um, we shouldn't talk about this now…bye." She clicked her phone shut, cheeks red. "Hi Piper."

"Sounds like you amended your policy." He noted.

"I didn't…heh, you think that was one of the Rogues I was talking to? That's just…oh damn, I forgot about the super hearing." The implants had come up as important more than once in the time she'd been working as a crime doctor for the Rogues. "Yes, I'm seeing Mick."

"I thought so."

"You're not going to tell Len, are you?" Somehow she didn't look as concerned as Piper would have expected her to be.

"I certainly don't want to be around when he does find out. Kendra, he is going to find out. And you'll be in the middle of another volatile dispute between Captain Cold and Heat Wave. Have you really thought this out?"

She frowned. "Of course I did. I figured it would just make Len hopeful. He might think he has a better shot in the future when Mick and I break up. Men like Len, they're not complicated."

"Yes he is." Piper was flabbergasted. "And what do you mean when you and Mick break up? How many of my friends are you planning on hurting?"

"Excuse me? This is my personal life we're talking about Hartley. It's not any of your business."

"It is now that you've decided to mix business and pleasure." Piper insisted. "Was there ever even actually a policy to begin with?"

"Does it matter? I should be able to do my work and see whoever I want without having to worry about…" She pressed a hand to her forehead, eyes fixed on the ground. "I…I've got to go. I'm sorry, I'll try to keep this all from blowing up. Piper…please don't say anything to Len."

"Are you jerking Mick around?"

"Goodbye Piper." She left in a huff.

Scowling, Piper finished unpacking the groceries and set up on the living room floor with his equipment and some notes he'd scrawled the other night. James hovered by the doorway, wringing a sponge in his hands.

"Baby…I tried to get the stains out of the comforter. I'm sorry."

"S'okay."

"Did Kendra leave?"

"Mm."

James sat down across from Piper. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt now. His skin was back to normal, but his hair was still faintly pink. "For future reference, cherry Kool-Aid is more powerful than amoxicillin as hair dye."

"I like your hair blond."

"I'm sure the Kool-Aid will come out eventually. Whatcha working on?" James leaned over to try to get a look at Piper's notes, but he pulled them away and sat on them. "Secret?"

"Mm hm. I'll let you know if it works."

James pouted. "If it's for jerking Flash around, we should work on it together."

"You worked on your death trap alone."

"Yeah, but we knew mine wasn't going to-wait, death trap?" James cocked his head to the side. "Like a real one?"

"Of course not a real one. The phrase just slipped out. I'm making a pest of myself, just like always. Come on James, you know I don't want to kill anyone." Piper glanced up from the pipe he'd been gimmicking and eyed James. "You do know that…right?"

"Yeah, of course. The phrasing just threw me." James leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Well happy plotting Pookie. I'm gonna make lunch."

"And buy me a new comforter. In an earth tone James."

"…but earth tones are boring."

"I like earth tones."

"Fine, I'll get an earth tone."

"That's not an earth tone."

"It's green!" James insisted, thrusting the new comforter into Piper's hands.

"It's lime green! It's almost neon!"

"…I thought it was pretty. It kinda matches."

Piper laughed. "God, you're terrible. You're really going to turn my whole apartment neon."

"…Is that you giving me permission?"

"No!"

Lisa waited at Len's house while he went and talked to Kendra. She sat on his couch for awhile with the TV on, but she wasn't really watching it. She had two options right now, so it was time to make a decision.

It wasn't that she wasn't happy to be reconnecting with her brother. Len was the only family she had left that she didn't want to punch in the throat whenever she saw them. But she still felt a lot of hurt and resentment from the way he'd left, and that he'd felt the need to hide since then. She understood that he was trying to protect her, but she was already damaged. She might as well have her equally damaged brother who understood her around.

Reconnecting with Len had been a bit of a ruse though, and she felt bad about that. She honestly hadn't expected the lunch to go so well, or to have the nice distraction of this Kendra woman to put her energy into. It had been fun, shopping with Len and teasing him. Hopefully things were going well with this doctor woman.

Now that he was gone though, and had left her alone in his house, she had work to do. Sighing, Lisa got up and started betraying her brother's trust.

Len got home some hours later, already completely smashed. Lisa jumped up, startled. She kicked the blue prints of an absolute zero gun under the couch and smiled innocently. "Hey Lenny, how'd it go?"

"How'd it go? How'd it go?" He was swaying dangerously and, she noticed, wearing his Captain Cold parka over the dress shirt they'd picked out. "How d'you think it went! Why'd I think it'd go…anyway other'n it went. She fuckin', she fuck'n-"

"Whoa Lenny, easy does it. C'mon, get onto the couch before you hurt yourself." She helped him onto the couch and pried a bottle out of his hands, setting it down on the table. "I got that it didn't go well. Will you tell me what happened? Len?"

And then he started not-crying. This was a technique the siblings had mastered while they were still living with their abusive father, who had a hang up about seeing his kids cry when he beat them. It consisted of all the motions and noises usually associated with crying, but without the presence of tears. Roscoe's death was the first thing to bring legitimate tears to Lisa's eyes since she was about four, while Len, it seemed, still functioned with not-crying.

"Len, hon, what happened?" There was no way the girl had just said no. Her brother was tougher than that.

"Sh-she never even hadda policy…she's been banging Heatwave fer months! She jus' didn't wanna deal with me…too ugly, too hairy, oh but the pyrofrigginmaniac, he's gonna be a good boyfrien'. Hope he burns her house down."

"Well clearly she's a terrible bitch and you can do better. I'm sorry I got you so excited Len. I had no idea what a skank she was. I'm really sorry-"

"Don'. Don't insult Kendra. She's an angel, she's jus', just confused. She kisses my cheek. She calls me sweetie. She helps me so much…Mick musta done somethin', I know it."

"You really had feelings for this girl, didn't you?" Lisa realized. He nodded, and then went back to not-crying. There was something broken about him, and Lisa felt her anger building the longer she watched it.

"M'not ever gonna, there's no one f'r me, is there? No, ya gotta look like Mick, or Mark…even friggin' Roscoe, apparen'ly! Should just give up. The only dates m'ever gonna get are the ones I pay for. Only hookers r'gonna put up with me."

"Len that's not even a little true. You'll find your one, and when you do it'll be magic. You know how to treat a girl, and that's worth way more than anything those other guys have got. It'll all be okay."

Lisa hugged him, and helped him to bed, leaving a bottle of water by his bed for what was sure to be one hell of a hangover. Then she took the notes she'd made from Len's schematics and headed home to plan her first outing as a Rogue.