Your Turn
DISCLAIMER: GLEE AND THEIR CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME.
Saturday
Dear Diary,
It's been a really hectic week, so I have plenty to express. I hope you don't mind, well of course you don't mind, I'd wager that you love it when I write in you. Anyway, my Glee party was a complete success! Everyone had a wonderful time and since then I've hung out with Kurt, Mercedes, Finn and Quinn. Oh, Quinn...I'll leave her for last.
Now I rarely dislike people, in fact the only people I dislike aren't even humans. They're Neanderthals, truly. Anyway, I know that not many of my fellow Gleeks are really fond of me, at least not until I displayed how much fun I can be at my last party. Kurt and Mercedes were always sort of close to me, in a sense. At least, they started liking me more when I stopped complaining so much for my lack of solos, therefore supplying them with said solos.
They took me shopping, and honestly I had fun. It's nice when others are kind to me. And I guess, although I adore my argyle collection and animal shirts/sweaters, it was nice to get a slight change in my wardrobe. Kurt has also texted me many times afterwards on going out shopping again.
On Monday I went out with Finn on a friend date, as I like to call it. He's really a sweet boy and I can remember why I fell for him in the first place, but the spark is no longer there. I feel terrible, honestly, but I'd feel worse if I tried to force myself to like him. We had a lengthy conversation in regards to our relationship, and I concluded our discussion by leaving him behind and calling my dad to bring me home. He texts me, saying that he was sorry, and that he won't give up...which is strange considering I haven't heard from him since. Perhaps Kurt convinced him otherwise?
Which brings me to say that Kurt himself is rather...nosy. I ran into him during one of my morning jogging routes and he just kept on asking me questions, questions I'd rather not answer, but answered anyway. It's practice, you know, for the paparrazi and future press. In addition, I didn't want to seem like a total 'bitch' and just ignore him, especially when we just became friends.
Then, can you believe this? The next day I met up with Quinn! I have made several mental notes on her body, an activity I can't help but do when she's wearing nothing but a sports bra and short shorts. And then, to my disbelief, she asked me on an outting! Although I will be honest, I expected a date. Not that I'd say yes, of course. That would make me look desperate or something, correct? Quinn was shooting me multiple 'signals' during my party night, apparently, so it wouldn't be a surprise if she was interested in me...
Then our 'outting' happened and it was magical. Simply, magical. Okay, it was also romantic and everything I've ever dreamed of, and it wasn't even a real date. Also, make a note that Quinn is fond of bacon.
Oh, Diary, I am such a fool. I kept on bringing up my insecurities instead of allowing her to just sweep me off my feet. All I needed was an apology and she gave it to me, and yet I brought it up once more. I told her that I'd prefer to be friends first but...I'm not sure. She already told me before that we were friends, and I believe her it's just that...I'm not ready.
I am a coward, Diary. I should've just taken her into my arms and kissed her the way I've always imagined it in my head. Why did I put such distance between us? She kissed me in the end anyway. I...I...
I think I'm in love with her, Diary. And I'm scared, I'm really scared that this will only be a summer fling and that she'll dump me the second school starts. But when I look her in the eyes, when she sang that song to me I felt it, it has to be real.
And there she goes, making me swoon with a simple text message. She just said goodnight, Diary! Neither Finn or Puck or Jesse ever did that for me.
Oh what am I to do? What if she gives up on me? What if I explode my feelings towards her and she rejects me?
I just can't do this right now, Diary. I hope she understands...I hope she can wait for me.
Goodnight,
Rachel Berry (insert golden star here)
A/N: I think Rachel deserves a diary entry too! Anyway, one more week before the explosion that is the second party! Different games and stuff. In the next week we'll be seeing the rest of the Glee club! And perhaps, another date? Hopefully I'll get out another chapter tonight. Sunday: Rachel jams with Puck in the park and Matt and Mike show up with an ulterior motive. Apparently a certain blonde is very set on getting a certain brunette to confess to her feelings outloud. Fun?