Me: Jace! Good news!
Jace: Really? I can leave?
Me: Oh. Well then. I got news!
Jace: Hip hip hooray.
Me: I am going to bring a GUY friend over.
Jace: …
Me: You guys can be masculine together!
Jace: Wait, you have straight guy friends?
Me: Yeah…
Jace: Oh. Wow.
Me: Go hit yourself.
Jace: My face is too precious for that.
Me: Yeah, okay. So his name is Ian.
Jace: Ian? Nice…
Me: Go hit yourself…harder.
Jace: Nah.
Ian: Hi guys.
Me: Hi Ian! This is Jace.
Jace: So, you're not…you know…into guys, right?
Ian: uh…no.
Jace: Did Jess somehow find you five minutes before and bribe you to be her friend?
Ian: nope. Sadly, I do it for free.
Me: IAN. Whose side are you on?
Ian: There are sides now?
Jace: Whenever a girl's involved, there are sides.
Me: It's true.
Ian: So much to know about girls.
Jace: That's why I go for the gorgeous ones. They're usually stupid.
Me: EXCEPT FOR ME!
Jace & Ian: …
Me: You guys are too stupid to know that TRUE beauty is not skin deep.
-Silence-
Jace: No. It's all about the face. And the body.
Ian: Here, here mate.
Me: The male population saddens me sometimes.
Jace: Only if you're ugly. It really brightens hot girls' days.
Me: No. Never. Boys are so immature.
Ian: Hey!
Me: Well, not you Ian. You're a special case. Very rare.
Jace: Yeah, Ian. Feel special.
Ian: Weirdly, now it feels like an insult.
Me: It's all because of Jace. That stupid shadowhunter.
Jace: I try my best.
Ian: Maybe it's because I'm programmed to just like face.
Me: Why God gave us you all when Taylor Lautner is out there somewhere, I don't know.
Jace: Really? You like werewolf guy? He's so…weird.
Me: Says the guy who cuts runes into his arm with a sharp rod.
Jace: It's not a rod!
Ian: Dude, it looks like a rod.
Jace: Which side are you on?
Ian: Seriously? You're acting more like Jess…
Jace: -makes a face- which is absolutely horrible!
Me: I'm still here you know, and I do have perfect hearing.
Jace: That's what makes insulting you so much more appealing.
Me: -pinches Jace- I decide whether you get fed or not, so be nice.
Jace: OW. Stop hurting me!
Ian: Ha. You just got beat by a girl.
Me: Oh, WE DON'T OWN MORTAL INSTRUMENTS!
Jace: Really, really random.
Me: I had to say it before I forgot.
Ian: Girls. Really.
Me: Go away Ian. You're not helping.
-Ian leaves-
Jace: great, now the only other testosterone filled person left.
-silence-
Me: That was just all EW.
Jace: Yeah, I'll admit it wasn't one of my best.
Me: It makes me think that you're gay. Or you just like testosterone. Which is really creepy. So be gay, please.
Jace: NO. NO. NO.
Me: You might be good looking, but you are so girly on the inside.
Jace: I'm going to kill you. –Tackles me-
Me: Whoah Jace. I prefer the flirting.
Jace: STOP IT.
Me: It's either being gay or being in love with me.
Jace: You make me sick.
Me: With love.