Write, write, write…
I forgot what was supposed to happen in this chapter.
I am now officially making it up as I go along. But I updated within a year of a previous update, so I win. My muse, it is back! Everybody hug the Countdown-Muse!
New things:
Thoughts! Yey! If you see italics, those are thoughts. JD's and Dr Cox's, to be exact. If I change characters, a line break separates them.
Hope you enjoy it!
Work became something of an escape for JD. In the hospital, you saved lives and did little else. Even things like pulling pranks with Turk and avoiding high fiving Todd became a simple routine.
After a while he was able to shut his mind down and let his body go through the actions of the goofy best friend, the kind doctor, the hopeless romantic. He smiled at the right times, and remembered to hold his head up when he walked. And as much as he might have secretly wished they did, nobody noticed.
Well, not much.
There were still rumours, of course. There were always rumours. Fire could be falling from the skies and Laverne would still be whispering "Did you hear…?".
In a way, he quite enjoyed them. The best was definitely "What was on the slip of paper Dr Dorian gave Dr Cox?". JD had realised the receipt was missing soon after he had left the park. He had decided that, if questioned, he would say he was visiting a sick friend. But no one had asked, so he just lay back and let the chit chat wash over him.
No one had guessed it yet. His personal favourite was still that it was a receipt for a leather belt, 2 packs of condoms, a tube of lubricant and cherry red lipstick. He had been a little confused about that one. But then again, the Todd had made it up, so it wasn't that shocking.
The one he tried to avoid was "What's wrong with Dr Dorian?". He was always afraid somebody would get too close to guessing the truth. There were roughly six different strains he had heard. The first was that he had been dumped.
Laverne and The Todd were very sure of this reason. Dr Cox did not agree, as he claimed JD would have had to have found a girlfriend first. Nobody knew what he really thought, as he refused to tell anyone.
Turk and Carla fully believed JD was ill. Not cancer-ill, but cold-ill. Turk said to Elliot (and to anybody else that would listen) that JD would have told him if it was anything worse. JD wasn't sure if he was trying to persuade everyone else or himself.
Then there was the "He's depressed" one. JD despised this particular rumour, as he could not pick up a razor without fifteen people suddenly finding something urgent to talk to him about. He had been asked by Ted on several occasions whether the blood on his scrubs was really a patient's. The first few times he waved it away, but by the seventh time it was really creepy. Plus, the idea that he was trying to die made JD laugh (it was laugh or cry).
There was always the "lazy bastard" idea. He was skipping work, seeming tired. A lot of interns thought this, and would hiss things about him when he was gone. They usually only stopped when he came back, or when Turk threw something at them.
That he was switching hospitals was a pretty common one. The few people that had heard him mention St Giles assumed he had been offered a higher paying job. Elliot believed this. So did Dr Kelso, who instructed Ted to watch JD very closely….
The last one was that he had found a girlfriend, and was "too much in love to concentrate". The idea of him getting a girlfriend made JD want to laugh, but made him grateful that his acting was working.
It annoyed him though, that the hospital was separating much like it had in the Iraq argument. He was getting fed up of walking into rooms, and everyone falling silent.
FUCK.
"Why is there a line for the guy's bathroom?" Dr Cox snarled.
You'd think Bobbo was running a zoo, how well he manages this shit heap. Of course, if he was managing a zoo, he'd be shut down for animal cruelty and putting tarmac in the visitor's food.
"What the hell are you looking at?" He hissed at a passing intern, who had made the grave mistake of glancing at the angry doctor's face.
Damn interns. They never give me a second's rest. Honestly, I swear half of them run crying back to mummy and daddy after something goes wrong….
Dr Cox was not in that good a mood, as JD had guessed.
Fuck! Newbie! Um, uh, oh- what do I say? I was outside your door last week, and- no! Too stalker-ish. You gave me a receipt for a hospital, and- no, he probably doesn't even remember that At least smile at the kid. Wait, no! Don't let him know something's off. Scowl at him. Actually- wait. Why the hell am I getting so worked up about Susan's personal life? Maybe…
JD walked past Dr Cox, who was still leaning against the wall, not seeming to have noticed that the queue for the bathroom had gone already.
"Susan" he nodded at JD, and JD continued on his way.
You think he'd think more about what to say to me. Other than just 'Susan'.
JD slid his tray down beside Turk. On it lay a burger, fries and a can of drink. Under Carla's gaze, he swallowed half of the burger.
"Dude, can I have the rest of that?" Turk asked.
"No." Carla slapped Turk's hand away before JD could comment. "My Bambi needs his protein."
"Carla, he is 30 years old. He isn't 'Bambi' anymore."
"You're thirty years old, and you still complain if I don't cut the crusts of your sandwiches!" JD sniggered.
"I don't like tasting burnt bread with my cheese." Turk scowled.
Glad to be forgotten, JD discretely slipped his burger to Turk under the table. He looked up again to see Dr Cox approaching.
"Gandhi, Carla, Gladys." He greeted them in turn as he passed. When he said the last name, he locked onto JD's eyes and looked for a second. It was only a second, but it was enough to make JD's body jolt a little.
With Turk and Carla still arguing, JD stared down at his fries, wondering if they would disappear if he stared hard enough. It was then he noticed the piece of folded paper on his lap.
"Did either of you…" Turk and Carla looked up, and JD could tell they hadn't put it there. "Oh, never mind."
Turk and Carla turned back to each other, too caught up in their talk to question their friend.
JD ran his fingers over the smooth paper, trying to open it silently. He didn't know why he didn't want anyone else to see it. He just didn't. After a minute or so, a piece of hastily torn off lined paper lay smoothed out on his knees.
On call room. 5 minutes. Be there.
So descriptive. He thought moodily. At first he had no intentions of going, before realising it was a good way to get out of eating the rest of his meal.
"Ihavetogonow" he gabbled, scraping his chair back. Carla looked up, concerned.
"Everything okay Bambi?" She asked meaningfully.
If she thinks I'm about to spill everything to her in the middle of a crowded cafeteria, she's wrong.
"Fine, thanks Carla." He said, leaving the note on his chair. "I just got paged, that's all." She rose an eyebrow.
"Uh, dude?" Turk said. "I didn't hear any noise."
"I know. It's broken."
"Then how do you know you got paged?" Carla demanded. She was not making this easy.
"Nurse told me." He said desperately.
"What? When?"
"Just now, when you two weren't paying attention anybody else."
I am Guilt Trip man!
"Fine." Carla said, a little sulkily. "Go."
JD didn't need to be told twice, and ran towards the on call room as fast as he could.
When JD got in, it was pitch black. He stood there uneasily for a few seconds.
Someone's asleep, or the Janitor's here to knock me out.
Tension grew in JD, until he eventually switched the lights on whilst whispering "Sorry!". Nobody was asleep. The room was empty except for Dr Cox who was sat on a bad, completely still.
"Um… hello." JD said, when Dr Cox said nothing. He didn't get a reply either, so he continued. "So… I got a note, and-"
"What do I have to do to make you normal again?" JD blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"What do I have to do?" JD took a few steps closer. Dr Cox's face didn't change.
"I don't under-"
"You might think you've fooled everyone, Jeanine. But not me."
"You're not-"
Dr Cox pushed himself up and started circling JD.
"Don't. Just don't. Katherine, I know you have everybody else fooled with this "I'm okay, really!" impression you're doing, but not me. I don't know what's wrong with you, and I don't want to, but what do I have to do to make it stop?" The rant was fast, getting faster near the end.
"You don't care about me." JD rasped. "You don't. So why are you pretending?"
"Because the hospital's one good doctor down, Gandhi's one good friend down and I'm one good ex-intern down." JD didn't latch onto the praise, didn't start gushing.
"I don't care."
"'I don't care' won't get you far in life, Anastasia."
"Why not? It got you far enough."
"This isn't about me."
"No, it isn't." JD turned to the door, but Dr Cox was faster, blocking it with his body.
"Nuh uh uh. Bad Newbie. No leaving."
"You want to know what you can do for me?" JD shot out, fed up. "You can leave me alone. You can stop buying me things, and talking to me, and locking me in fucking rooms!" Dr Cox winced a little at the uncommon f-word from JD, who kept talking.
"You just don't get it, do you? You try to help me, but you never can! You never did! You always could have, but you took the easy way out every time. And now you just walk in here, and expect that you can suddenly make me okay? No chance. Now move."
"Fine." He stalked towards JD, pinning the slim man against the wall.
"There. I moved. Oh, and nasty rant, Daisy. You shouldn't be so mean to me." Dr Cox lisped.
"Fuck you." JD spat. He glared angrily into Dr Cox's eyes. Dr Cox stared right back.
Don't break his gaze. Don't look away first.
It was too hard. Dr Cox's ice blue eyes pierced JD's.
Crap.
Eventually JD dropped his eyes. He hadn't realized this manoeuvre would bring his gaze to the older man's lips. Which did not look good.
Brace yourself for the "Oh my GOD, Eliza! Are you really THAT horny?" speech.
No words came. Instead, Dr Cox's eyes dropped too.
Shit.
JD found himself very, very slowly moving his head forwards. Perry didn't back away.
Shit. Oh shit…
Perry's lips parted very slightly. JD swallowed nervously before doing the same, and moving even closer.
Ohshitohshitohshit…
Without any warning, Dr Cox stepped back.
"Nice try, Wilma." It was supposed to be sarcastic, but to JD's ears it just sounded shaky. JD didn't say a word. A moment of silence passed.
"You know what?" Dr Cox's voice suddenly rang out again. JD's eyes snapped up.
"Forget it." Dr Cox left as quickly as he could, almost running for the door. "Just forget it."
JD sunk down onto a bed.
Well I guess you got your wish.
He climbed in, suddenly exhausted.
He's going to leave you alone from now on.
JD pulled the covers over his head and blocked out the world.