*presents Countdown muse for hugging*

This chapter didn't turn out how I wanted… bahhh. Too short for a start. Next chapter will have more, I promise.

Eep. I'm about halfway through the story, and NOTHING has really happened. This is not a good thing.

Hope you like it!

In the next few weeks, Dr Cox did exactly what he had said he would do. At first, if JD entered a room he left. But after about a week he simply stayed, finished whatever he was doing and completely ignored the man.

JD had trouble with this. Before, Dr Cox had just ranted. But now he really didn't seem to want anything to do with JD anymore. Turk, Carla and Elliot picked up on it, but JD didn't tell them anything. Just shrugged it away.

It was raining when JD arrived at the hospital. It seemed fitting somehow. His first patient of the day was a young woman called Karen Diment. As he walked into the room, he noticed she had a shaved head.

I start chemo next week.

"What can I do for you, Miss Diment?" He asked as he walked in.

"I think I'm anaemic" she answered. "I've had chemotherapy recently, and now I'm so tired I can hardly stand up. I went jogging yesterday, but I only got to the end of my road before I almost fainted. I could hardly breathe, and I felt so weak."

"Okay." He nodded. "We'll see if we can do anything about that for you."

"Thank you." She smiled.

He looked closer at her chart.

Breast cancer.

"I'll get back to you." He left the room, walking quickly so he didn't have to dwell on just how many cancer patients were in this hospital. He kept his eyes on his feet as he walked.

Next thing he knew, he was flat on his back. He peered up to see what had happened, and saw Dr Cox striding away.

"Watch where you're going, Bambi." Carla advised as she helped him up. "Of all the people to bump into. I don't know why he's been so angry lately."

"Other than the fact that he's Dr Cox?" JD hissed, as he brushed dirt from his back.

"I don-" Carla's words were interrupted by a bang as the door slammed open. Bob Kelso strode through as if he expected everybody to start applauding, Ted following like a shadow.

"I don't want to spend longer than necessary talking, so I shall make myself clear right now." He said, seemingly addressing the wall. No eye contact for Dr Kelso.

"Morale has been down lately, and it shows. Happy doctors are good doctors, and good doctors don't squabble every 5 seconds! Dammit people! Do you even know anything about each other?"

There were defiant murmurs, which Dr Kelso heard. He spun, picked on a random intern.

"You! Tell me something about…" He pointed to a doctor who's name JD didn't know. "Him."

The girl blinked. "Umm…" She turned to her friend, an equally young blonde who wore too much makeup.

"I have no idea, Trish" She hissed.

"I know he screwed one of the nurses in a supply closet." The blonde said, lazily picking at her nail varnish.

"I did not!" The panicky doctor yelled.

"Yes, you did. I opened the door on you halfway through."

Before the argument could get any further, Dr Kelso interrupted.

"That is quite enough. See! Young…"

"Sammie." The first girl supplied.

"Young Shelly here doesn't know the first thing about that doctor! And all her tart of a friend knows-"

"Hey! I find that offensive." Trish protested.

"- is gossip and rumours."

"Um, sir?" JD asked nervously. Dr Kelso spun around.

"What is it? Come on boy, I'm busy."

"Um, where are you actually going with all of this?"

"I'd get there if you'd all stop talking long enough for me to get a sentence out! Now, I have devised an ingenious, original and technologically advanced method that will select, for you, a person. Ted, the hat."

Ted held out a hat filled with folded pieces of paper.

"You will take a name. You will then, on a separate piece of paper, write 5 facts about yourself that the other person does not yet know and post them through the 'Complaints' box. I will hand these out later this week. Understood?"

The intern from earlier- Sammie- raised her hand.

"Excellent! No questions! Ted, take the hat around would you? I'm too busy- got an appointment with a Japanese masseuse…"

Ted thrust the hat out, and people crowded around to get a name. There was lots of shoving, barging, and murmurs of "Oh god, not her!", but soon there was only one slip left, and as the crowds cleared JD picked it up.

Bah. Figures.

"Who'd you get Bambi?" Carla asked, trying to see the paper.

"Yeah, who?" Turk added.

"I'm fucked." JD laughed suddenly.

"Wait, what?" Turk said, confused.

"I'm fucked." He repeated.

"Why?" Carla asked curiously. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"Dr Cox."

"… you're fucked."

"So now I'm going to have to write 5 things about myself to the biggest jackass in Sacred Heart." He finished, turning towards Dr Roberts. He had come to St Giles to find her on her lunch break, and now they were sat out front.

"I'm fairly sure you should be telling the psychiatrist this instead."

"Oh, he'd love it. Numbered lists! Yey!" Dr Roberts laughed.

"What are you so afraid of?" She asked.

"Everything I write will be deemed 'girly'." He said, rolling his eyes. "And it will make this whole thing worse."

"What whole thing?" She asked.

Crap. I forgot she doesn't know.

"Oh, nothing." He lied. "Anyway, I'd better get back. My lunch break's almost over."

"Can I come with you?" She said suddenly. "I want to meet all these friends you talk about so much."

"Well…" He hesitated. "You really shouldn't."

"Please?"

"No." He found himself saying.

Brain! Attractive girl wanting to come with me! Say YES!

"Well, maybe I could come visit you some other time?"

"I don't think so… sorry." Dr Roberts looked deflated, but suddenly smiled again.

"That's okay. See you soon, JD." She moved like she was going to hug him, but seemingly changed her mind and walked away instead.

Later that night, JD found himself still at Sacred Heart. He was alone, and he was angry at himself.

"Why the hell did I do that?" He hissed at himself. "She practically throws herself at me and I say no." He started pacing backwards and forwards.

"I don't like Elliot. I don't have a girlfriend. Why the hell would I say no?" Suddenly he caught sight of himself in a nearby window.

You know why.

JD snarled.

Enough!

He turned, ran back towards the nursing station. Carla, who was just leaving, looked concerned.

"Bambi, are you-?"

"No, Carla. No, I'm not." He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and sprinted off again, towards Kelso's office.

Five Things about Me

By Dr. John Dorian

For Dr. Perry Cox

Leant against the wall, he scribbled the words fast; talking to himself as he did.

"I've had it." He snarled as he wrote. "I'm had it with all these secrets. It's gone too far. Too fucking far."

1. I've kissed a man before.

And we were both sober.

And it felt good.

He stopped for a minute.

Do I really want to do this?

He thought about Dr Roberts and Dr Cox. He thought about the chemotherapy, and the not knowing, and the never ending panic that someone would find out.

2. I don't mind the girl's names. I find them pretty sexy, actually.

Yes. I do.

3. In case you hadn't guessed, I'm gay.

"No turning back now." He breathed, still writing.

4. I think I'm in love with you.

Last one...

5. I start chemotherapy for my kidney cancer tomorrow.

JD hesitated only for a second before pushing the paper into the box.