I'm sorry about the delay, but I do have another two updates coming up which are very close to completion. I assure you that this was worth the wait. I consider this one of the best pieces I've ever written. Feedback good/bad is always appreciated.

After much consideration, I've decided that I'm going to use multiple first person perspective for both Alora and Jaden in the first section of this story. Given as I've changed the story to make Jaden kill Rosh, I think that readers might want to know how things are for her as well. I'm still going to switch to 3rd person at chapter 7, but I'm going to have Jaden come in for the next part of this chapter. I really wanted to at least show more of where Alora came from.

Thanks to my last two commentators. It's always a joy to get them.

The Horrors of Loss

Alora

I wasn't happy with the way my life had turned. As much as I wished events happened differently, it was futile to consider a life that never could be. Wishful thinking didn't change one's reality, and it only reminded her just how miserable that life really was. What good did it do to imagine myself living a normal life? Where would I not have been if Tavion hadn't found me? If I had killed Korr, would I still have wanted to leave the Sith?

Actually, I kept reliving that fight in my mind. Every time, it turned out differently. Each time I could just imagine how much better I was than her, skillfully defeating her and standing over her dead body. If I had, I would've been able to return to Tavion. Having proven myself worthy of Ragnos' service, I would have been rewarded for my years of loyal service. And then I wouldn't have

find myself shaking my head, clearing my mind of the delusion. That wasn't what happened and there was nothing I could do to change it!

And each time reality slapped me in the face, I just wished that it had all been a bad dream I could just wake up from... but it wasn't. And I just felt trapped. There was no way to escape my fate. I had sunk to a level of mediocrity that I hadn't felt since I was bound in chains! I had been buried alive!

Although it probably was foolish to start wandering around the temple, I couldn't stand just sitting in one place any more. As my breathing intensified, I felt as though my surroundings were closing in around me. I knew they weren't, but every single irritation seemed to make me panic. My garb seemed so confining; I had to keep adjusting them. The ankle I twisted almost a full day ago still hadn't fully healed. When I cut a corner in the hallway, I banged my shoulder into a wall.

That impact seemed to escalate my emotional state into a one of total madness. It wasn't remotely close to an injury, but it hurt. And it wasn't like me to be so clumsy; everything just seemed to go wrong! Why the hell was my life falling apart?

Coming to that place was a mistake. Turning against Tavion and the Cult was a mistake. It was my hope that in escaping my destiny as a servant to Ragnos, that freeing myself would help me... actually I couldn't figure out why I turned against Tavion. As I began to hear the sound of Jedi X-wing and Y-wing fighters taking off, there came a terrible feeling in my gut. The deafening roars echoed in my ears, reminding me of the crime I had committed.

That was when I knew it was for real. Events were in motion that I could no longer stop. From that point on, all my hopes rested on the success of the Jedi... what had I come to? I knew I was weak to do so, but it didn't matter to me at that point. Korr had humiliated me enough as it was; what more could another feeble-minded decision bring about?

Actually I soon found out just how foolish such a notion really was. I tried to justify my actions by saying that I did it for personal gain, exactly as any Sith would; but I knew that I took the path of least resistance. It was an act of cowardice. And I hated myself for it.

There was no weakness in crying. Strange as it sounded, my opinion of Korr had not diminished at all since I watched her break down in front of me. I knew exactly what caused people to break like that. It wasn't because she was weak... she simply was a victim of misplaced anger and hate. It was only because of Tavion's irrational lust for revenge that she targeted Katarn's students. If Tavion wanted revenge, she should have gone after Katarn directly... she was the coward.

(7 years ago:)

It was quite odd how one's life could take such a tragic turn without much ever really changing. At 16, I was the daughter of a clan leader on Ryloth. Although my father lead a fairly minor clan, I was among the fortunate few twi'lek women who enjoyed the privileges that only males were granted. Instead of learning trade skills, I was sent to school to develop my brain. Even at a young age, my father saw my potential and wanted me to lead our clan when I came of age.

We were a happy family. My father loved me as much as he did my mother, which was why I worked so hard to live up to his expectations. He may have been hard on me, but I believed I was mature enough to understand that he meant me well. He wanted me to grow and develop, which sometimes required pushing me harder than I would have wanted. My mother countered such harshness with all the love and affection that my father wasn't able to properly provide. He was a clan leader after all.

I knew I would always remember that moment... it was what forever shattered my family. After one of the few outings my father and I shared, he told me just how important I was to him and how proud he was to have me for his daughter. It was among the happiest moments of my life. Little did I know it, but my mother held a terrible secret that she knew would one day have to be revealed.

Believing that we were both ready to accept the truth, my mother gathered us together and told of how she had been raped almost 17 years ago. She then went on to say that she had been impregnated with that man's child- me. I remembered the way that Raken stared at me after being told that I wasn't his daughter... he refused to believe it.

As Mother revealed everything that she had kept from us all these years, my heart sank with every passing moment. As I listened to Raken and Mother escalate into shouting, I remember how he kept defending me... telling my own mother that she was lying. She told him that I had been tested three times, and that Raken wasn't my biological father. Almost when I felt he had accepted the truth, he ruthlessly grabbed my wrist and dragged me to be tested again. He wanted to see it for himself.

I remembered the way that we sat next to one another as we waited for the results of the blood tests to come in. Mother tried speaking to Raken, but he just turned his head away and raised his hand at her. The way he gestured for Mother to be silent... I had never seen that side of him. No one said anything, but the tension was high. While Mother sat in a chair on the opposite side of the room, she silently told me just how sorry she was for everything that's happened.

I slowly extended my arm out to hold Raken's hand. I knew that he wasn't my biological father, but I wanted him to remember that I would always love him. He had always been there to comfort me in difficult moments, and I wanted to return the favor. When he felt mine hand cover his, Raken withdrew it and looked at me with such cold eyes... it was as if I were a complete stranger to him.

"Daddy?" I pleaded.

"No." He flatly answered. Turning his head away and closing his eyes, Raken wanted nothing more to do with me. The words which followed tore through me like... something very painful. "Go sit with your mother."

It was then that I knew our family was moments from death. I knew that there would be a moment of truth, although it was still to come; but there was always that glimmer of hope that one could never fully escape. By that time, he had accepted the truth, but didn't have reason to condemn us- yet. Once he saw the test for himself and knew beyond any doubt that I was not his child. His contempt quickly escalated into resentment. It was then that he severed every bond between us.

'What child is that?' His words kept echoing in my mind. No one knew what it was like to have your own father pointing at you and asking his loved one such a question. Of course, Mother did not know; she had been raped. And despite protesting her innocence, Raken would not listen to her 'excuses.' Even when a close family friend confirmed that Mother had been beaten and raped as she claimed, it didn't change anything. It only seemed to spread Raken's resentment across a broader range of people. Such feelings had a terrible way of being transmitted into places they didn't belong. My father hated my mother for lying to him. He even hated her for being raped. He felt betrayed by friends who only sought to protect my family's dignity. Her cursed them for betraying his trust. But he hated me most... He hated me because I was not his child.

I tried to be sympathetic to my father's feelings, but he had no right to hold such feelings towards me and my mother. Although he had a right to be angry at her for keeping the truth from him, she did come forward about it when she could have remained silent. He told her that she had brought great shame to him and his clan for 'what she had done.' Did he hold no malice for her rapist? Instead of directing his anger towards the guilty, he took it out on Mother.

As for me... he was proud of me. Every time he looked at me after that, it was only pain he felt. He wanted nothing more than to call me his daughter, but knew that it was a lie. I had become a shadow of the girl he thought was of his own flesh and blood... and it left him with a sense of indignity and impudence. As if my flesh were more important to him than the bonds that a family was supposed to be. Without an heir of flesh and blood, my father discarded me.

Ryloth unfortunately held onto many primitive values which maintained its male-dominated society for centuries. The only way for women to hold power was to be born to a clan leader, although those who did rarely got the respect they deserved. Adopted sons were often held with higher regard than biological daughters. So I was unable to serve as an heir to Raken's clan.

By law, he had every right to sell both me and my mother into slavery; which was exactly what he did. Despite everything we meant to him, he cursed us, spat on us, and then ordered us from his sight. He turned us away and never looked back. Needless to say I was devastated, but I still had my mother to comfort me. A cell and a person to share it with was all we had to ourselves.

Mother told me that the truth about my bloodline would have eventually been discovered, which was why she waited 16 years to tell us the truth. She explained that she did it to protect the family's honor- and me. For what had happened, she seemed so calm about it. "Your father and I had been trying to have a child for a long time before then. It really upset him that I couldn't give one to him. When I had been raped, it wasn't long after that that I found out I was pregnant." Mother held me and kissed my forehead. "I knew you weren't Raken's little girl, but I couldn't tell him that. If I had, he would have demanded you be removed from my belly and never have a chance to live. I wanted to give him a child... and I knew he wanted you as well."

It was painful to hear of how I came to be. All my life, I thought Raken was my father. To learn I was a rape child made me feel as though my fate were sealed before I even left my mother's womb. "But why? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

She rubbed the back of my neck and shoulders, looking into my eyes, almost as if to express how she appreciated my company. "I wanted to protect you. Even as you kicked in my belly, I felt there was something special about you. On that night, seventeen years ago, a man held me down and forced me to have sex with him. But he gave me something in return... he gave us a daughter. You may have been born from a terrible deed, but you are as virtuous and magnificent as your father."

Hearing her continue to speak of Raken in such a way was absolutely wrong! "We're in a cell. He put us here!"

She shook her head and covered my mouth with her right index finger. "Don't be angry at him; I'm responsible for this. I knew that one day, he would learn the truth. It was my hope that he would eventually see beyond your flesh and love you for what made you truly special." She took me into her arms and covered me as though to protect her little girl. "I'm afraid all he sees anymore is someone else's child."

Those words pierced my heart like a dagger. I loved my father and wanted so much for him to love me in return. I thought that he did, but it turned out to be just a lie. To lose that love was so painful to me.

Mother encouraged me to let it out. She knew how much it hurt, which was why she tried to remain strong for me. She wanted me to remember her courage- even when she had been in greater pain than I was. "I had asked your father that I bear the punishment alone so that you'd be spared. Raken has every reason to be angry with me, but he accepts you're innocent in this."

I desperately shook my head, unable to hold back my tears. "Mother, please!"

She embraced me again. Partly it was to ease my pain, but mainly to did it to let me know how much she loved me. "It's alright. Whatever happens to me... remember that I will always love you. Most women never get the chance to be their own master, but I was able to give you 16 years. Whatever happens after this, never let yourself forget who you are. Never let yourself forget that you are our daughter in every way that matters."

I wished that I could take comfort in Mother's words, but they only made the pain so much worse. God, I loved my mother. I loved her so much. And I was just so angry at how Raken could just forget all the affection and love we shared in an instant. I wanted so much to just make the pain go away, but it just hurt so much to know that would be our last night together. While I shed every last tear I had, Mother kept herself strong for me.

I couldn't sleep. I refused to sleep. I wanted every last moment we had left to matter. But while I was desperate to remain awake, my body slowly gave in to physical exhaustion. It maybe was only an hour before dawn that I found myself in the blissful world of a dream. I was free.

Sooner or later, you always had to wake up. It was my mother's lekku against my neck which alerted me to wake up. She had fallen asleep on top of me, but I didn't want to wake her as well. She just seemed so peaceful... God, I loved her. There had to be something I could do to save her! I couldn't just let her go!

When I saw the sun shining through a window, I realized it was well into the morning. I had no idea how much time we had left, but I knew it wouldn't be enough. When I started sniffling from sadness, she awoke. It was as though she heard my pain and rushed from a blissful dream back into reality because I needed her. "It's alright. Please don't cry."

"Why, Mother?" I urged her.

She held me again, resting her chin upon my shoulder and with her arms around my abdomen. "It's our destiny, my child. Sometimes you have to follow the path that's been laid out for you. If you don't, you'll find places you don't expect. You probably don't realize it, but you're about to embark on a much more difficult path than I am."

I looked at her, utterly perplexed that she could say such a thing.

She rubbed her forehead against mine. "I've followed mine and I know where it will lead me; you don't know yet where your path leads to. The only thing that you do know is that our paths will soon diverge. Before that happens, I need you to promise me that you won't let what has happened ruin your life forever."

"Mother..." I whined.

"I'm serious. The last thing I would want is for you to be bitter at your father for the rest of your life, or to give in to despair once I'm gone. Promise me that you'll follow whatever path is laid before you- that you'll treat your master with the proper respect and fulfill your duties to the best of your ability. That you will live your life and appreciate what precious little you're given." She held my face and pleaded her final request. "And remember that I will always love you. Promise me."

Almost as if they couldn't come at a more dramatic moment, two guards entered the cell block to retrieve my Mother. I couldn't stop crying, but I managed to whisper into her ear "I promise." It was not a promise that I was ready to keep, but I made it to give her some measure of comfort before the end.

As my mother stood up, prepared to go with them, one of the guards addressed me. "Stand up, girl."

I twisted my head around and saw another person standing behind the guards. It was a well-dressed human with the look of a businessman. I didn't know what had been going on, but my mother took my hand and pulled me to my feet. The human gestured me to come to him, as to allow him a quick examination of me. Through the bars, he touched my face and felt the tone of my flesh, as if to determine my physical conditioning. "What's your name?" He asked me with a smile.

I didn't know what to say. Mother answered for me. "Alora."

He frowned at Mother. "I wasn't talking to you. Is she mute?"

I heard Mother shake her head from behind me.

When his eyes were fixed on mine again, I felt a deep coldness about this man. I knew I had to answer. "Alora."

He smiled when he heard my voice. "Nice to meet you- Alora. My name is Seldon Crassis." He extended his hand and held it under my chin. "You have a beautiful voice."

I didn't want to speak, nor did he ask me to.

"How would you like to call me Master Seldon? I'd like to hear you say it. Master Seldon."

I almost knew in that moment that he was going to be the one to purchase me. I almost spoke as a servant would to her owner, knowing that I was then and forever more that I was... property. "Master Seldon."

He smiled a terrible smile. "Alora- welcome to my service."

As he turned around to give his credits to one of the guards, I turned around and we held onto the other with all the strength we had. Only then did she start crying, despite all attempts to maintain her composure. "Mother, please don't let me go."

"I'll hold you for as long as I can." She told me.

Seldon paid about 5000 credits for me and I heard the cell door open from behind me. Mother pushed me back a little, just enough to allow the guards to place a slaving collar around my neck. Once the collar was in place, they placed cuffs on my right wrist and then forcibly removed my arms from Mother.

When she made one last attempt to hold onto me, one of the guards shouted at her. "That's enough! Back away!"

Seldon spoke to assure Mother that he would take good care of me... I think we both knew he was lying. "Don't worry about your daughter. I take good care of my servants."

As the guards forced us apart, Mother started sobbing in pain at being separated from her child. Despite her agony, she let me go, stepped back, and allowed them to take me away. As her crying escalated to wailing, she collapsed to the floor and tried to muffle her painful cries from me.

As they pulled me through the cell door, I knew I couldn't leave her behind. It didn't matter to me whether I was restrained or not. I resisted, calling to her. "Mother! Mother, please! Don't let me go!"

One guard pulled me back by the chain around my neck, but I intended to fight until the bitter end. I soon felt a terrible electrical shock from the collar and shrieked in agony. But even as I collapsed to the floor, I refused to let them take me away.

The sound of my screams were silenced when Mother lifted her head and shouted back. "Alora, don't! It won't do any good!" Attempting to stand, she fell back to her knees. Waving me off, I realized just how much more painful I was making it for her by struggling. Desperately, she screamed. "Just go, please! GO!"

As the guards grabbed me and pulled me from the floor of the cell, I felt as though time had slowed to a crawl. I felt every detail of that moment, every sound, every movement... I felt I had transcended into another world, if only for a moment.

I watched as Mother tucked her head behind her arms on the floor, weeping every tear she could shed in a moment. The way the cell door slid to a close. The low-pitched click of the latch resetting itself. Seldon as he stood before me to appreciate his new servant. The guard uttering something to him, offering the chain that was around my neck. Him smiling as he took the chain, and then gesturing me to follow. "Thank-you. I've got her."

I wouldn't move. My eyes couldn't leave the sight of my mother as she wept from inside the cell. As I felt the chain became taught, he gently tugged at it as a gesture for me to follow. I allowed him to pull me away; but I wouldn't allow my eyes to leave Mother for as long as I could see her. Only when door to the cell block closed behind me did I know she was gone forever.

(The Present)

It had been a long time since I thought of that day. I remembered thinking that I would live in that moment every day for the rest of my life, but I had long since buried that painful memory. And each time I thought of her, I also remembered Raken. He killed Mother. He killed his daughter. He destroyed our family. I broke a promise I made to myself once... I swore to kill him.

And I also never delivered on the promise I made to Mother just before she died. If she saw me for what I was, I knew she would've been ashamed to call me her daughter. Of course, I had long since stopped caring what either of my parents would have wanted of me. If Mother hadn't been so foolish, none of that would've happened. She wouldn't have just put both our fates into the hands of a mad man. If she wanted to die for what she did, that was her choice! She could have at least spared me the pain and humiliation that I'd endured as a slave. Everything that I was... it was because of her!

Shaking my head, I knew it was futile to blame the person I loved most. It was all because of Raken. If he had not been so bent on having a child of flesh, all that happened since might have turned out differently. But it was pointless to consider options that no longer were open to me, paths not taken, or people that I've lost. Thinking of the past was pointless when there were more important matters to deal with.

Thank-you for reading. Part two coming up soon.