Hey guys! Well, I wasn't planning on updating this until the weekend, but I'm having such a fabulous week, and just kept writing. The only thing the ruined my week:

I lost my germophobic pencil. Yeah, A pencil...that's germophobic. It has this ridiculous "Microban" thing that kills germs on the pencil. Don't ask about it, just fantasize about what you could possibly achieve with this wonderful pencil...World peace, maybe?

Anyway, you guys are great. Reviewers or just readers, thanks so much. Here you go...I'm pretty sure this chapter doesn't make very much sense though. *Shrugs*. Oh well.

Fang's plan=Brilliant.

It's ridiculous, but brilliant. Basically, we rip off Dylan's wings and replace them with fairy ones from Wal-Mart (Thank Allah for Halloween season). Gross, I know. But Angel from X-men could sorta do it, and The X-men are never wrong.

So, first stop: Wal-Mart.

Seriously, we don't want to Dylan's wings just hanging in our living room for like a week while he's gushing blood. Dylan hater or not, that's just weird.

We all pile into JP's van. Yeah, I forgot to tell you guys, JP lives with us now. He's like a natural Jeb repellent. I don't know whether it's how he dresses or what he smells like or whatever, but Jeb hasn't showed up for a little while now. If there's no Jeb, I'm happy. And JP has a mini van. He's like our very own soccer mom.

Ahem. So we all pile into JP's mini van and drive to Wal-Mart. Relatively uneventful.

Next thing I knew, I was holding Fang's hand and walking in the Halloween section, walking in circles around a rack with butterfly wings on them. So. Many. Butterflies. Oh, and I made sure it was Fang I was showing PDA's to this time. Not Mr. Patterson. I can't forget these important details.

You would think that would be really romantic and stuff, but Dylan was on the opposite side of the rack, looking at butterfly wings too. I don't know what's up with that kid.

So, we're all looking at the racks (of butterfly wings you discussing hormonal teenagers), and then this happens:

"PICK ME!" Gazzy jumps out of the middle of the rack. And Dylan screamed. I'm talking girly scream. Bieber high-frequency dog whistle scream.

And we laughed. Evil maniacal, Sith Lord laughs.

And Gazzy grabbed a pair of butterfly wings and ran. Ran like Forrest Gump.

And the Wal-Mart staff ran after him. Ran like…Some other catchy piece of figurative language.

And I just stood there, trying to come up with a way to overuse the word and in this situation.

I didn't bother to look at Gazzy, or even worry about him, because everything was going as planned.

And that's when Fang smiled. And we looked at each other and smiled some more. The perfect soundtrack for this moment:

.

I don't know if you caught that, but that was a fart. A really loud fart.

(A.N. Yeah, I just made a farty noise with my mouth to figure out how to spell that.)

We both turn around to see a giant green cloud near the check out line, as well as several Wal-Mart employees on the ground, wheezing.

Did you know that Wal-Mart sells gas masks? Well, it does. And I'm pretty sure they just saved my life. I won't get into details, but, it happened.

The flock got back into JP's van, Angel scowling because Dylan got lost in the store. But Iggy handed her a twenty dollar bill, and she just seemed to loosen up after that.

Such family values we have: Bribery and betrayal.

I don't even know where JP went during all this, but he somehow ended up in the van with us. Seriously, I think he has Harry Potter's apparating powers.

I'll just skip the boring part of the ride back home. (Readers are saying: "WHY DO YOU KEEP SKIPPING AROUND? YOUR TRANSITIONS SUCK!")

Iggy runs in and grabs the first knife in the kitchen that he sees (well, not really).

Phase two of plan: complete.

We all run into Angel and Nudges room, with the exception of JP, of course, who has seemed to disappear again.

"Okay everyone", I panted. "Now, we wait."

And we waited. (And the reader says: "YOU JUST SKIPPED LIKE THREE HOURS! #%#%#$#$%#$%#%!")

It was about 6 o'clock when Dylan walked in the house. He didn't look all that happy. At all.

"WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?"

"Chill Dylan maestro. You got home alive, and that's all that matters." I'm pretty sure Iggy's eye twitched when he said that last bit.

"Listen, I know you guys don't like me, but could you at least pretend to respect me?"

"We could," I said in a badass voice, "but that wouldn't be fair. You can't just barge in here and all of a sudden be a member of the flock. You have to prove yourself."

"So, did I win?" What is up with Dylan and pointless questions today?

"NO." Ah, what a beautiful chorus of Avian Americans.

Let's skip another six hours again…

(Reader: "!" *Stabs chest with knife*)

It's nighttime. Little baby Dylan is asleep, and the flock and I, (or it is me and the flock) is preparing to chop his wings off with a knife. I think we need a recap up to this epic moment of pre-triumph.

As an attempt to destroy Dylan (both physically and mentally), we planned to chop off his wings and replace them with little butterfly wings. We went to Wal-Mart, Gazzy jumped out at Dylan, he screamed a terrible Biebery scream, Gazzy took a pair of wings, farted and run out of Wal-Mart, everyone but Dylan close behind. Tada.

Okay, this is it you guys.

Fang, Iggy, and I all creep into Dylan's room, Angel, Gazzy and Nudge keeping guard. In case your wondering, we duct taped Nudge's mouth shut, so she couldn't possibly ruin this plan.

Fang had the knife, Iggy the wings, and me, well, I had my stunningly amazing looks.

Anyway, creeping. We all approach Dylan's bed and see a form sleeping soundly. I give a creepy smile and look at Fang and Iggy. We all do a freaking awesome simultaneous nod, and Fang lifts the knife up dramatically, preparing for Dylan's demise.

And then the form on the bed turned to face us, and you wouldn't believe what we saw.

Okay, maybe you could guess.

It was freaking JP. Here, let me say that again it caps: IT WAS FREAKING JAMES PATTERSON. AGAIN.

Where does this guys come from? And just as this is all happening, the light flicks on, and there's Dylan in his jammies, looking at us. Fang with his knife, and Iggy with his "other" wings, and me with my stunningly good looks.

And then he screams. Again. And Fang immediately hides the knife behind his back, and Iggy hides the wings, and well, I can't hide my stunningly good looks.

We run to my room, all six of us and lock the door. This wasn't cool.

Getting rid of Dylan would be harder than it looked…