Well, this is it you guys. Part three. I would first like to apologize to JP for all the crap I put his through in this. The worst is yet to come...trust me.

I'd also like to thank everyone who's bothered to read this horrific story. Thanks. I hope you were amused.

Also, I think I'm just going to warn people about this chapter. It's screwed up. Oh, and if anyone speaks Klingon here, you're gonna need it.

Oh, and if you care (you don't, I just need a place to ramble), I'm going to be disappearing from FFN until December for NaNoWriMo. I'll be back though, with an equally bad or worst fanfic.

So, without further ado, here 'tis:

Turns out, James Patterson wasn't a Jeb repellent. Jeb was at a Mad Scientists Who Have Conflicting Feelings About Their Genetic Mutations convention. I seriously didn't think those even existed.

So Jeb's back. And Dylan just had to be created with a big mouth. Not to be confused with big lips like that Sam kid on Glee or Angelina Jolie. There's a difference. Dylan spilled the beans that we tried to chop off his wings. We can't really say we were surprised by his actions, but we really didn't think that Jeb would come back.

Nudge and Gazzy stood in front of some of the…interesting graffiti, er, decorations we did on the wall depicting Jeb when he came back. But Jeb was Gandhi then compared to when Dylan told him everything.

The conversation was nothing less than colorful, which is why I filled in all the profanity with Klingon explicatives…

"YOU WHAT?" Jeb seriously sounded like a whale.

"I believe you heard us the first time Jebster," Iggy said coolly.

Jeb just squinted at him with those kinda PMS-y looking eyes.

"Fine, we'll stop with all the bullying nonsense." Fang's Daily Word Count: 8, technically 9.

"That's not the Qiyah point!" Here come the Klingon words…

"I'M GONE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS AND YOU DESTROY THE HOUSE AND ATTEMPT TO MUTILATE YOUR FELLOW FLOCKMATE? I CAN'T QUVATL LEAVE YOU ALONE AND EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE CILIVIZED PEOPLE?"

"Actually JP was with us." Angel said. JP, who was at the kitchen table this whole time nodded and held up his mug of coffee. That guy is just so freaking great…Except for that whole identity mix up. "And we were going to replace the wings with something a bit more stylish. But I guess what we did was wrong, so sorry Dylan."

And then Angel just walked off. Because seven year olds can somehow do that. Oh, and mind control powers sorta help. I wonder if Angel can use Jedi Mind Tricks©. Is Angel a Jedi? That'd be cool.

But anyway, I'll just make everyone pissed and skip the whole shenanigans…

La la la la la.

Okay. So now it's nighttime and stuff. The entire flock, besides Dylan, who I don't even think is par of the flock, and JP, who should be part of the flock, gathered inside Iggy and Gazzy's room.

"I seriously think that we should just kill him." I couldn't really tell if Iggy was being sarcastic or not.

"I agree, he's not even that cute and he is constantly around Jeb, and I wonder if they are related…That would be kind of weird because Max, you are supposed to be related to Jeb or something and that mean's you guys shouldn't be perfect other halves or something, unless Jeb meant that in the siblingy way, and that's why he's be so uninterested in you lately…" Nudge said. Sometimes, I wonder when exactly that girl breathes.

"Yep." FWC (Fang's Word Count): 10.

"Okay, well, we really to get some sort of weapon, then, and I don't really think that bombs would be very good." I directed that comment straight to Ig and Gazzy.

"I always keep a knife with me…" Holy Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die! JP was gonna help us kill Dylan.

We all just sat there, our mouths gaping.

"Okay," I managed to squeak. That was that. We didn't need to plan anything. That was just legit.

This is all just more proof that you can't fully recover from anything James Patterson has said or done. It's impossible.

*Cue Luke Skywalker saying, "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE" after Darth Vader, tells him he is his father. *

AHEM. We all cluster around the door, planning on running into Dylan's room and just stabbing him. JP creaks open and the door, and then here we go: Surprise!

There Jeb was, arms crossed, looking SUPER pissed in his pink frilly bathrobe.

PAUSE!

Jeb, are you suffering from cramps, bloating, and headaches? Then try YAZ. YAZ treats PMDD, which has worst symptoms than PMS, which YAZ does not treat. Feel better about yourself and help others tolerate you…Side effects may include kidney failure, liver problems, and other symptoms that are probably not even worth taking YAZ, but oh well.

GO!

"RUN!" I heard Gazzy yell. Everything seemed to happen in a blur.

Jeb pulled out a knife and started flailing it in JP's general direction, Gazzy and Iggy ran around in circles with what seemed to be a bomb in their hands, and Angel was just standing there, for no particular reason.

"Max, why are men so stupid?" Angel was suddenly standing right next to me.

"Not all of them are stupid, Angel. I think just the really annoying characters that you can't really tell are good or bad. Like Jeb, or Dylan…Or even Sasuke."

"Oh, Okay. Thanks Max." And then she skipped off, and I was sorta starting to regret that last part about Sasuke.

I suddenly had a thought about Dylan. He was probably asleep while JP and Jeb were practically biting each other's heads off and fighting for his life…or death for that matter. Gee, Dylan is a spoiled child. You would think he would have the decency to care about what was going on! But he doesn't, and that's just a really good reason to hate him. Cool.

Okay, I think I jinxed it. Out comes Dylan from his room. He's rubbing the sleep from his eyes that suddenly seem to widen when he sees what's going on.

And then Iggy tackles him.

"WHY DOES JEB LIKE YOU SO MUCH? YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! LEAVE! Oh, and I think the question that has been on all of our minds is: are you Jeb's son?"

Everything fell silent when Iggy said that. Everything. Even the readers reading this at this very moment in the future fell silent.

Pst. That's your cue.

And then Dylan responded…

"No. I'm Jeb's daughter."

WHAT THE #%#%$^#$^#%#$#%%^$%^#$%#$%#$^$#$#%#$%#^#$%#$^#$^#$^#$%#$%#$%#$%##$^#$^#$^#$%?

That's not awkward AT ALL. Nope, not one bit. That's perfectly normal to think someone who has been oogling over you was a boy when they are really female. That happens all the time.

And that was just about the normalest part of the day, because then this happened:

JP ran over to Dylan, pushed Iggy off, and kissed Dylan. That happened.

And then all of our souls died.

I don't think I should get into details about what was happening or what everyone was thinking. I'll just say this: JP and Dylan are going to be a really cute couple. I just hope Jp's wife doesn't get to pissed.

The End. Or maybe not. (?)