Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of SyFy and Nick Willing and are only used for fan related purposes.

Gumshoe

chapter seven: Wonderland's Wonders

She had picked up a book in her wanderings, an old, worn copy of Alice in Wonderland that she began to read despite the gloomy darkness in the back of the shop. Hatter very nearly pointed out the irony in her choice before remembering the simple way Alice tossed Dodo over her shoulder. Though it was almost as chilled now as the wet weather outside, Hatter chose to sip absently at his tea while keeping his thoughts to himself.

If it wasn't for the threat that lurked just on the horizon, it would've almost been cozy: him with his tea, Alice quietly reading a book. Still, Hatter wondered if he should feel more relaxed than he did, not like he was tempting fate, hiding so close when March could be near. The false trails alone should've bought him enough time, and if March hadn't barged through the front door yet, there was a good chance he wouldn't. It was calm, quiet and somewhat warm in the bookstore and he had a cup of tea and a pretty girl for company, both of which sounded a lot better in his head than in reality considering his tea was cool and Alice's nose was stuck in her book.

For the first time that afternoon, Alice seemed to put her guard down when she lifted the book up. She didn't look half as wary now, serene even as she nibbled thoughtfully on her bottom lip. As if she could feel the weight of Hatter's curious gaze on her, every now and then her eyes would dart up but he always managed to look away right before she caught him watching her.

Still, every time she fell back into her book, Hatter found himself inexplicably drawn back to her. She was beautiful, he mused, but she was almost certainly quite a handful. She was trouble. She had a boyfriend. She was an oyster… worse, she was an oyster who had gotten on the wrong side of the Queen of the Hearts. There were a million reasons why sitting with Alice was quite possibly the stupidest thing Hatter had done in a very long, very varied career—but that didn't stop him from eyeing her intently, trying to crack the enigma that was Just Alice.

Lost in thought, it took him a moment to realize it when the comfortable sound of the turning pages simply stopped. She hadn't torn her gaze away from the page she was on but it was pretty obvious she wasn't paying attention to it anymore. He didn't want to be caught now so, almost too casually, he turned away to look back towards the front window. It was hard to tell from his position but it was just possible that the snow had finally given up its assault on Wonderland. It would be dark before long—maybe another hour tops—and it would make their next step that much easier if the weather cooperated.

Feeling both antsy and curious, and perhaps looking for an excuse to set his tea down, Hatter eased back to his feet. His shoulder hardly twinged anymore from the impact of Dodo's too-close gunshot and, though he didn't envy himself come morning and the bruise started to show, he didn't notice any pain.

Alice finally glanced up when she heard his chair skid back against the tiled floor. She raised an eyebrow curiously.

"I'm just gonna take a peek outside," he said in response to her questioning look, "see if it stopped snowin' already."

That he might be checking outside for anything else—the dark, Mad March, anything—went unsaid. Alice nodded her understanding and returned to her book. Hatter grabbed his hat off the table as he started away, performing a quick trick that launched his hat in the air and onto his head. He checked out of the corner of his eye to see if Alice was impressed by the move but no dice. Her eyes were glued again to the yellowed page of her book. He waited until she turned another page before actually going.

Hatter shook his head as he went. It was his fault, really. There he was, trying to hide out from the Queen of the Hearts and her pet, and yet he couldn't help but try to show off for the one girl who had gotten him into this trouble in the first place. The old con, Cheshire, was right when he said that you had to be mad to be in Wonderland. Even if you weren't mad before you got there, you were certainly mad if you stayed.

And he knew better than most. Hatter had spent his entire life in this district, selling papers when he was a kid, picking pockets as a teen, robbing folks blind as a young man. Now he was older, probably none too much wiser, and he was doing his damndest to stay straight. If that wasn't madness, he didn't know what was.

Sidling through the bookshelves, half empty as they were and in disarray for who knew how long, Hatter approached the front of the old shop. It was much darker there, hardly any light trickling in. Night had very nearly fallen, that magical time of twilight—the calm before the storm—settling over Wonderland before the stars came out and the neon lights rivaled their brightness.

His hand on his hip, Hatter squatted down in front of the closest window and flipped the brim of his hat back so that he could peer out of it. The wooden boards the Hearts put up after the bookshop was closed down did a good job of preventing people from looking out or looking in but there were large enough gaps for him to get a glimpse of the outside. This close, he could see everything.

And when he looked out and saw the shadow of Mad March across the street, he cursed and ducked away from the window.

He came, of course he came. Deep down Hatter suspected the trails wouldn't do much to waylay to old thief but he'd expected a bit more time to prepare. What had he done since coming inside? The safety of the abandoned store had been an illusion—was there really anywhere in Wonderland that was safe anymore?—but he had allowed himself a bit of comfort, a seat and even some tea. Where was the plan? What was the next step?

Well, he'd always been the sort of guy to think on the fly. And with March staking out the front, it was time to fly.

"Alice, come quick!" Hatter called, going only loud enough as he dared. March's ears, March's eyes… he had them trapped, but why should Hatter make it any easier for him?

"What now?" she called back testily, setting her book down on the table. Poor thing, she had no idea.

He kept his voice low, tucking his hat securely on top of his head. "We've got to go."

"What about waiting until dark?" Alice demanded, halfway to joining him in the front of the shop. "Where are we supposed to go?"

Hatter jerked his finger toward the window. "Does it matter, so long as we leave him behind?"

Following his point, Alice dared a glance outside, peering between the small break between boards. Mad March was standing still just past the door, his head tilted back and his nose in the air. Even from this spot, it was easy to see that he was sniffing the air like some sort of dog. Some sort of bloodhound.

She nodded, trying her best not to shiver. And, this time, the chill had nothing to do with the cold.

Weighing his options, the unknown back exit versus the certain threat lurking just out front, Hatter made a hasty decision. "This way," he whispered, heading back down the row of books Alice had come up. She followed, hugging the maroon overcoat close, as Hatter led them through the café. Hatter's half empty cup of tea and Alice's half read book were left behind on the table, a sure sign they'd been there, but he didn't stop to clear them away. Instead, leading her into the kitchen and past the bare pantry, Hatter walked them right out through the back door.

There was no guard posted out back which meant either Mad March was slipping or he thought so little of Hatter as a potential threat that he never even bothered staking out any other exits. In fact, underneath the rapidly darkening sky, Hatter could see they were entirely alone—for at least as long as that particular alley stretched, that is. Considering the alternative, he'd take it.

The snow had finally stopped, and the wind, but that didn't mean it wasn't still colder than a witch's tit outside. After being inside the bookshop so long the cold hit him like a flat slap in the face; he could only imagine how much worse it had to be for Alice. For that reason, if not for obvious others, Hatter started to jog away from LC's Books.

No one had taken to this back alley yet and the snow was still fresh. Using his boots to make a path, he warned Alice to closely follow his tracks. It would make it easier to navigate the slush and the ice and the powder if she traced his steps; at the same time, let Mad March marvel over why only one set of prints led away from the exit.

Without having advanced notice to March's return, Hatter ran away from the bookshop a bit recklessly, and all too aimlessly, never stopping to get his bearings. He turned left, running into the darker end of an alley, hoping the streets would break soon and deposit them back onto one of the main thoroughfares in the district. Normally pretty impressive when it came to navigating Wonderland, the twilight, snow-covered conditions passing him by during his panicked jog left him little to work with. He just hoped Alice had no idea that he was currently clueless to their whereabouts.

Alice gasped then and, like before, he momentarily feared that March had magically caught up to them. He spared a second to glance behind him and found that she had stopped. Despite the familiar blue tint to her lips, Alice's face had gone slightly green. Her one hand covered a queasy grimace, the other pointed down an even darker dead end that branched off their current path.

Stopping likewise, Hatter squinted and caught sight of what had frozen her. A body lay huddled just inside the alley, its thin, puce coat nearly covered all the way with snow. Its skin was already turning a sickly shade of purple, dark bags under a set of peacefully closed eyes. For all intents and purposes, the sleeper looked just that: asleep. But Hatter knew better.

Wonderland. It wasn't pretty.

"There's nothing we can do for him," Hatter told her, already turning his back on the corpse, "it's us I'm worried about."

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"Yeah, and we'll be next." He glanced over his shoulder, saw that she hadn't moved and sighed. Turning around, he had his hands outstretched in front of him. "Look, it's winter, right, and it's been snowin' all day. Not everyone… well, no one, actually… is a winner in the Hearts Gang's casinos. Sometimes they just toss you out on the street to forget about you, but if March catches us, we won't be so lucky. I don't know how you got that ring," he added, using his right hand to gesture at the stone, "but that's what he's after. You want to admit to the Queen you stole her ring?"

"But I didn't!"

"She's not the type of lady to believe you. Sorry. It is what it is. Now, come on, we've got to go."

This time, when Hatter started off down the empty, eerie backstreet again, he could make out the sound of Alice following him. He was glad that was over, it could've gone much worse—

—and then he felt the insistent tap of a finger against his jacket. He bit back a frustrated sigh, stopped dead in his tracks and spun to face her. "Yes?"

"Why are you helping me?" Alice demanded, thin lips pulled into a determined frown.

Hatter didn't know where she was going with this. "What?"

"You said it. It's my ring, it's my trouble."

He let loose with his sigh, a small exhale through clenched teeth. "This ain't the time to talk about that."

"It's never the time with you, is it?" She shook her head impatiently. So close, Hatter could hear her teeth chattering now matter how hard she tried to hide it.

"Look at you, you're freezin', it's bloody cold out," he argued, trying to get her to understand. But all his words did was cause her to clamp down on her teeth, hiding the fact that they were still chattering noticeably. Hatter's patience was quickly beginning to grown as thin as hers. What was wrong with this girl? Did she have a death wish? Trying to remain calm—he was the professional, after all—he felt the need to remind her, "Alice, March could be coming any minute now."

"For me," she shot back defiantly. "Why do you care?"

"Listen, I gave you my word to help you find your boyfriend. I threw my hat in the ring with you. Dodo knows, now March knows, too. The Queen's angry and she already thinks I'm working against her, sidin' with the Whites—"

"Are you?"

"That ain't the point. The point's that… the point is that I'm as much an outsider in Wonderland right now as you are. We were at least a little safe before, the snow kept everyone in. But it ain't snowin' now, Alice, and night's falling. We have to find somewhere to hide, then we're gonna get us out of Wonderland."

Alice crossed her hands over her chest. "Us?"

"That's what I said."

"Us… you mean me and Jack and you?"

There was something in her tone that made Hatter feel just a little huffy. There he was, finally voicing the only option he could see he had ever since that disaster with Dodo, and all Alice had to think of was him as an afterthought. Hatter had managed to forget all about that Jack Chance fellow, why couldn't she? If it wasn't for the fact that he was already in over his head, he had half a mind to wash his hands of this whole mess.

But he couldn't, and he wouldn't, not when Alice was his ticket out of Wonderland.

"Well, yeah. I don't know if you noticed, but March was at my office. I can't go back there. And after you kicked over his library, Dodo ain't gonna be too happy to help me. The way I see it, the only hope I have is to find your boyfriend and follow you back into your world. No more rivalries, no more runnin'… I'll have to leave Wonderland with you if I don't want to spend my days in the back rooms of the Looking Glass."

"That's some favor, Hatter," Alice pointed out. But, Hatter noted, she didn't object.

"Yeah, and if I want to see you grant it, we gotta go. Look," he said, pointing down towards the end of the alley, "I think we're right there. See that opening? If we hang left and walk through, we should cut right onto Main Street."

"Is that smart?"

"Trust me, we'll have a better chance of escaping March that way."

Alice dared a glance down at the garish maroon overcoat Hatter had lent her. The skeptical look she gave it was all he needed to realize that she was still needlessly worrying about something so silly as fitting in the Wonderland night crowd.

"You'll be fine, Alice," he said chancing a small grin as he reassured her, knowing full well that he was probably lying through his teeth. "No one'll even notice what you've got on."

Well, that much was at least true.

Hatter was right, too. Alice may not have believed him—he was a little offended that, after all he'd done for her so far, she still was hesitant to believe a word he said—and maybe he'd been a bit concerned himself for a minute there, but Hatter was a Wonderlander, born and bred. Now that he'd had a second to look around and get his bearings, he knew precisely where he was, where he was going and how to get there.

He took the lead confidently, not even bothering to turn and check behind him. He knew Alice would be there because, like him, what other choice did she have? Pretty soon there was only a block left, than a half a block, a few feet and the break in the alley.

They turned the corner then and Hatter suddenly wished he hadn't left his nightglasses back at the office. Then again, how was he supposed to know that afternoon that he'd be going down Main Street at all? Especially since he never came this way if he could help it.

The lights were almost blinding, brilliant neons banishing the night's sky, shocking whites overwhelming the once-pristine snow that had already been turned to grey slush by the foot traffic. It was a Wonderland night but only because a watch told him so. Hundreds and hundreds of people hurrying down the streets like ants, people going in and out of open doors, the moon a mockery of the sun above, it was more of a daytime now than when Hatter left his office earlier.

A cacophony of sounds filled the air, sounds of rigged jackpots being hit in the casino, moans of pleasure coming from behind velvet curtains, laughter, screams and hollers as one of the many nightly fights over some inconsequential thing got underway. It was an assault on all senses: your eyes, your ears and, as the smells from the decadent restaurants dotting the street wafted out open windows, your nose.

Alice had taken two steps from the darkened alley and into the light before, blinded by it all, she stopped. Just on the edge of the scene, she watched. Hatter, knowing he had to take this route but forgetting the effect of Main Street on most of the population, waited impatiently for her to say something.

"It's… it's amazing," she managed after a few minutes.

He shrugged. "It's Wonderland."

Still she stood there, overwhelmed, her eyes wide and her jaw slack as she took everything in. Then, as if waking from a dream, Alice shook herself and the wonder fled from her eyes. She frowned, her gaze darting around suspiciously now, as she looked past the splendor and saw the things only hardened Wonderlanders could see: the dirt, the grime, the beggars on the corner that the Queen's Suits had yet to get to.

Alice shook her head again, harder this time, clearing it. "No," she mumbled, talking more to herself than to Hatter waiting at her side, "no… it isn't…"

Hatter was impressed with how quickly the wonder faded for Alice. On the rare chance that an oyster made it into Wonderland, the lure of the casinos, the pleasure rooms, the bars… everything this sin of a city offered often proved to be too much for them. Forgetting family, forgetting friends, oysters quickly fell into the Wonderland world, dying if they weren't strong enough or eventually becoming a Wonderlander themselves if they managed to survive. They never left because they never saw a reason to leave.

But Alice did. There really was more to her than first appeared. At first, Hatter thought she was just a pretty girl in a very short dress. But now…

Well, those were thoughts better left alone.

She's a client. She has a boyfriend, the same boyfriend she has hired you to find. She's an oyster. The Queen wants her dead. The Queen probably wants you dead. She—

"Where are we going now?"

Grateful for the interruption of his traitorous thoughts by Alice's abrupt question, Hatter momentarily debated over just how much he should actually tell her before deciding on going with some of the smaller details. "There's a place, on the end of town," he said, purposely forgetting to mention that it was the edge of town furthest from the Looking Glass. "It's just as dangerous but, if you know where you're going, there's still a couple of places to go to hide out in until we can actually get out. Safe houses, right?"

"If you know of a safe house," Alice asked, and Hatter knew he had added too much, "why did you take me to that library?"

There was no way he was willing to admit that he'd entertained the idea of selling Alice out in order to get a good price on her ring. So, rather than answer her question, he said, "It's not far. Stay close behind me. If you're worried, hold onto my jacket. If you get lost, Alice, I don't know if you'll ever find me again." Then, because he couldn't help himself, "See, I told you you'd fit in."

She finally understood what he meant. Wonderlanders had a distinct fashion sense which was this: anything goes. There were plenty of colors, prints and designs that were both outlandish and understated—sometimes on the same person, too. Oranges, purples, neon yellows, bright greens… every color you could think of was represented in some of the strangest outfits Alice had ever seen. Most of the men wore dandy suits with feathers in their cap, old time derby's and jackets even more ostentatious than Hatter's; some of the women had on dresses that were shorter than Alice's yet they walked around as if untouched by the cold. In response, Alice pulled her coat even tighter.

There was, however, a distinct lack of the more muted colors, most notably black and white. And if Alice had stopped to ask Hatter, he would've been able to tell her that those colors belonged specifically to the Hearts and the Whites. The Queen's Suits wore, fittingly, black suits, though only the important members of the gang were allowed the red ties; the White Diamonds, of course, only wore white. Hatter, while Alice watched the flamboyant Wonderlanders, kept his eyes out for members of the rival gangs. Not that he expected to see much white. Main Street, as well as most of Wonderland these days, was the territory of the Red Hearts.

No, Hatter was specifically looking for a black suit with the trademark red tie that might be Mad March stalking them through the gaudy, busy street. He would tense when he caught sight of a black suit only to relax when the red tie was absent. He knew March: if he was out on Queen's business, he wouldn't be caught dead out of full uniform. It would be like Hatter walking around Wonderland without his hat.

That thought in mind, Hatter removed his porkpie and stowed it under his good arm. He'd take anything he could get.

Where they were going wasn't so far—by day, at least. With the crowds shuffling from one den of debauchery to the next, it took quite a few well-timed jabs with Hatter's elbow before they left the over-the-top seediness of Main Street behind them. After that they made good time going in silence. Hatter could've sworn he might have finally caught a flash of red as they stepped off Main and started towards a separate slum. From the way Alice started to step all over the back of his feet in her hurry, he guessed she might've seen it, too.

It was darker far away from the neon lights and glitz of Wonderland's Main Street but not so dark that Hatter didn't recognize his path. Spotty lights on each corner broke up the gloom, only the feeble cries of the homeless and the luckless slipping out through the sudden, heavy silence that hung overhead. There was a possibility that they had passed another dead body, too. Hatter paused to help Alice past a particularly rough patch of ice, conveniently shielding the huddled shadow from her view. She didn't seem to notice it and Hatter wasn't eager to get a closer look.

Before long even the most desperate of voices were quieted. Hatter knew that they were almost there. In the distance he could see the mushroom-topped, snow-covered trees that marked his destination: Tulgey Wood, the narrow strip of trees that bordered Wonderland on one side.

"See those trees over there?" he asked Alice, pointing in front of him. She nodded and he told her, "That's where we're headin'. If nothing else, we'll find shelter there. We can hide out there for the night."

"Yeah, as long as that goon doesn't stop us first, right?"

"What goon?"

It was Alice's turn to point. "Is it just me, or does that guy over there look like he's waiting for us just to come a little closer?"

Hatter squinted and though it was damn impossible to see who it was that was lurking on the edge of the trees, there was no mistaking the big bulky shape the shadow suggested. Alice was right. There was certainly standing across the way, but at least he knew that it wasn't March—not that that was any real relief, considering who it really was. More than six foot five and nearly half as wide, only one Wonderlander was that impressive from even a couple of blocks back.

No doubt about it, that was Jack Collins.

The Jabberwock was waiting for them.

- stress, 06.06.10