okay guys here is the chapter i know you were waiting for cuz it explains every mystery behind Edward's thoughts and i hope it answers some of your questions too!and its very long so i hope you enjoy that too!:D

so on with the goodness that is EPOV!:D:P

Chapter 4 Soul mate

EPOV

5 years ago.......

"Edward!", Alice half screamed and half gasped. I quickly turned around and trailed her scent to the part of the woods where she was. I ran fast because I knew why Alice had screamed, she had seen a vision. A bad one. Or she was in danger. Either way I had to get to her, and immediately. When I saw her, I ran faster. She looked shocked, and there is no way in which anyone can shock Mary Alice Brandon Cullen. I looked around, alert, with my superhuman eyesight to find any trouble or danger but couldn't find any. I tried to search for some dangerous thoughts around but was coming up blank. So Alice hadn't been in danger now, but she had seen a troubling vision, I was sure of it. I reached to her and put my arms on her tiny shoulders to give her some kind of comfort and relax her but she was just too stiff. You would think she was a statue. She was seeing a vision and I saw it through her mind. It was about me. And a girl. A human girl.

We both were in my meadow, alone. It was daytime and the daylight made the meadow look even more beautiful. The flowers, along with the grass, were swaying lightly with the breeze. The wind was soft and light. The aura around us was full of happiness, beauty and love. One of the things that shocked me the most, apart from me being with a human alone, was that I was out in the sunlight and was of course sparkling-not that this was something new to me, we all sparkle in the sunlight-but in front of the human girl! And she didn't even look scared, she looked awed and amazed. We both were sitting on the grass and were close. I was holding her hands in mine and we both were smiling at each other lovingly and adorably. We were looking at each other with infinite amount of love and passion in our eyes. She was beautiful. She was pale but not like us but more like the beautiful kind of pale. She had chocolate brown hair and eyes. Her amazing hair was swaying in sync with the wind. Her eyes....I could just look into her eyes forever, if granted. They were innocent and so full of love-which I assumed was for me. And then we were leaning in for a kiss.....

End of vision.

I was probably more still than Alice by now. She blinked and turned her wide-but happy-eyes to me. A smile was starting to form on her face but before it could grow into a huge grin and then a squeal which I knew was just around the corner, I spoke. "Alice....w-wh-what...w-was...that?", I stuttered because I was beyond shocked.

"Edward, didn't you see? It was my "mate vision". About you!", she said happily.

"I know what it was. The crystal clarity, no hindrance or blurriness. Of course I know it was your one of the "mate visions". But Alice, that's what scares me and shocks me. I can't mate with a human. And most importantly why would she? I mean when I tell her about us, which of course I will, if I love her, then wouldn't she get scared and run away from me? Wouldn't she be disgusted with me? Wouldn't she-"

"Edward, stop! You know she won't do any of those things that you said! If she would then I wouldn't even have had the vision of you both together! And happy! You know Edward that my mate visions are always correct, then why do you doubt any part of it?", she stopped me in the middle sentence and asked me the most stupid question.

"Why I doubt it? Alice you know exactly why I doubt it! She's a human Alice and we cannot mate with humans. It's against our nature and every other law of nature! Predator and prey can't fell in love with each other Alice!", I replied. Isn't it obvious? How can she even say that!

"Edward, I know this is overwhelming to you but I know that in your heart even you know that these insecurities of yours are for nothing. That what I saw in my vision is going to happen, anyway. Let's just go home and discuss this with the others, okay?", she said comfortingly.

"Yes, we should. And I am sorry to act so rudely with you before.", I said genuinely. She was right. I knew it in my heart that whatever anyone may think of this, it is going to happen anyway. That's just how her mate visions work.

"It's okay! Now let's go! I can't wait to see the smile on everyone's face after hearing about this.", she said excitingly.

I chuckled at her excitement and followed her into the woods as we headed towards our home. Even I'll feel happy to see the big smile on everyone's face, and especially Esme, when they hear about this, no matter what I think about it myself.

I followed Alice quietly as she skipped through the forest like a gazelle. I thought about it all.

How would she react when my supposed mate will see me for the first time. How will I react to her. How our lives will be if we fell in love....All this 'falling in love' thing was just not getting to me. I don't know about love at all. I don't know the difference between treating your loved one and the others. I don't even know what lovers talk about. Ugh! This is all so strange. And confusing!

When we got home, Alice called everyone and in seconds my whole family was in the living room where we usually have our 'family discussions' or if when Alice had seen a vision worth discussing.

Carlisle, our foster dad and creator, was seated at head of the eight seater table. He clearly looked curious as to what we might have to tell them. His blond hair was impeccable as always and his pale face was giving away understanding and compassion along with curiosity. Esme was at his left. Her caramel hair was smoothly curled and she was wearing a top that should belong in the 19th century, along with a black pencil skirt. She looked beautiful as looked curious, but more so, she looked suspicious, seeing Alice's excitement as she was literally bouncing in her chair right now. Jasper, Alice's mate and my foster brother, was on Carlisle's right with Alice at his side. He also looked curious and his thoughts were the same as the others.

What is Alice so excited and happy about?

Emmet, my other brother, and Rosalie, his mate and my sister, were at Esme's side. Emmett was thinking, hopefully, that Alice had seen a vision of us having a confrontation with someone, someone strong. So Emmett...

I hope that pixie saw us having an amazing fight with someone, that would be fun. I'm so bored nowadays. But why would Alice be happy about fight? Hmm...I should probably pay attention and listen....

Rosalie was looking just as endlessly beautiful as always in her red knee-length dress. Her smooth curls were flowing behind her back and she was thinking something that only Rosalie would think...

I just hope it's not something freaky....If someone's attacking us or whatever, I don't want myself to get dirty. Sure I'll protect my family but right now I'm just not in the mood to get my pretty dress and my beauty, dirty...

I was by Alice's right side. When everyone looked to Alice with expectant looks and thoughts, Alice started speaking.

"I saw a vision", She had calmed herself enough to a small smile and calm voice. Lord knows how much excited she gets!

"DUH!", Emmett spoke in his booming voice. His voice was well suited for his muscled-body. He was big and muscular but when it came to his personality, he had the most childish personality ever. He was a bear of a brother to me and all of us except Rose, Esme and Carlisle, of course. His dimpled grin can win any heart.

"Shut up Emmett! You are not allowed to speak until I finish talking!", Alice scolded him back.

He didn't say anything but thought, Just get on with it pixie!

"Okay, so the vision I saw relates to Edward", she continued. After looking at me with a smile, she started explaining everything she saw.

After she was done telling everything to everyone, no one spoke. Their minds were also blank. No one even had spoken through the whole speech Alice gave, too shocked to say anything at all. Suddenly everyone was all around me except Rose and Jasper. They both were thinking the same things, A human? How can we allow that to happen!

Esme was hugging me and sobbing dry tears at the same time. We couldn't produce tears but I swear she might have dried her tear ducts by now if she was human. She had cried for me so much! All this time with sadness for me being alone. And now happiness for me being in love with someone. Though that was to come in future.

Every one except Rose and Jasper were happy. Suddenly Jasper spoke up, "Carlisle, we can't allow that! We can't allow a human to mingle with us!"

Rosalie agreed with him, "Yes! Jasper's right! We can't allow for something like that to happen!"

Esme spoke to both of them with a slight anger in her voice, "It doesn't matter! Edward's happy and that's all that matters right now!"

I stopped them softly, "Stop, you don't need to fight over this. Esme, look, Rose and Jazz have their reasons which are right. Jasper's scared of Bella being in danger because of him and probably all of us. And Rose thinks involving a human in our family will only create problems, that she might disclose our secret to the world."

Alice said reassuringly, "You all don't need to worry about a thing! Rose, she won't do anything like that, I've seen it! She's not like that! And most of all, she will fall in love with Edward and she won't do that if she loves him. Jazz, you don't have to worry too, you won't hurt her. She will be safe and protected. We all will protect her", she finished with a comforting look at Jasper and Rosalie. "And besides," she looked at me and then back at Jasper. "Do you really doubt Edward's protectiveness for her lady love?", she joked with a wink in my direction.

I just shook my head and walked upstairs to my room. I still can't wrap my mind around this falling-in-love-with-a-human-in-near-future prospect.

I locked my bedroom door though it was fruitless, anyone could break it down in our house with our strength but I did it so that they would know I didn't want anyone around me right now, that I just wanted to be alone for sometime.

I sat down on my black leather couch and put my head in my hands and really thought about this.

What if I really did hurt her? What if someone else did...?

What if she gets repulsed by me and my family for what we are?

What if Alice's mate visions aren't always correct...

What if I fell in love with her and she didn't?

Would that change anything?

Would that change me?

This was the question that I was really curious about. Would falling in love change me? How I am now and how I act and behave and think?

A knock brought me out of musings. It was Alice. I heard what she was thinking.

Can I come in Edward?

I thought that maybe Alice could help me with this. She is in love and maybe she could tell me and answer my question....I sighed and without even me saying a word, she entered the room and locked the door behind her. She saw I was going to let her in and tell her to close the door behind her.

She slowly came towards where I was sitting. I was looking down at the floor. She then knelt down and looked into my eyes. She was smiling softly at me and her eyes and mind were asking me and telling me the same thing.

Do you wanna take a walk with me outside? I'm sure you don't wanna talk where everyone can hear you....And don't worry Edward, I'm your little sister and I know how to make my big brother less confused.

I stood up and nodded slightly at her and we moved out of my room and the house.

We were walking in the forest. Everything was quiet. Alice was humming her favorite song's tune to herself and her mind was singing the lyrics. Alice and I have always had a stronger bond in the family. We have been walking for almost twenty minutes now and none of us spoke a word since we left the house. I turned to Alice and she looked at me again with the soft smiling look. I know we could have had a conversation in our minds but I needed to speak this out loud.

"Alice, what do you feel when you fall in love with someone?", I spoke softly.

"Edward...I know it's very new to you and will be very different but I really can't explain what we feel like when we fall in love. Nobody can", she replied.

"Alice, do you really see it working out?" I asked the more important question.

"Edward, I assure you, you will protect her perfectly and nothing will happen to her", she said while keeping a hand on my shoulder.

"Alice, do you really think I can protect her from me? From what I am? From what we are?" I asked looking in her golden soft eyes that held only love and hope for me.

"Edward, I know you will be psyched over this but are you really betting against me?" she said wiggling her eyebrows.

We got back home after a few minutes and while walking up the stairs, I saw Esme smiling at me.

Now, I knew that I will fall in love with that beautiful girl and I will protect her from every bad thing and every bad person.

The fact that my family and I are vampires and drink blood and are tempted by human blood cannot change but it doesn't matter. I will protect her no matter what. Even if I had to leave her for this....

Alice's angry thoughts came up to me and I smiled at her.

Edward, don't you even for a second dare to think you will or can step a foot out of Forks!

"Forks....nah! I'll never leave that place! Why would I, when the love of my life will be there?" I spoke and Alice giggled at me.

I shook my head and went up, to play my piano.

Play the piano.....that's what I have been doing all these years after we moved to Forks months ago while waitng for my love, who shockingly had stolen my heart without even meeting or seeing me. Just looking at her in Alice's random visions about her made me fall in love with her more every moment.

When I saw her parents die in Alice's vision, I wanted to hold her and tell her everything is gonna be okay, but I couldn't do that at that time. She was only 12 years old after all.

HA! A 12 year-old stole Eddie's heart!

These were Emmett's thoughts when I was in pain for her pain.

Then when I saw her getting abused by those low lifes, disgusting and horrible creatures after being adopted, I lost it. I started looking out for her. But I never let anyone see me. I couldn't, I had to keep my existence a secret until I finally met her.

I sighed at the thought of meeting her. Bella's lullaby was echoing through my mind and the house. Esme was humming under her breath along with it in her room.

I made this lullaby the night Alice saw that vision of us in the meadow-which has gotten clearer everyday because of my feelings for her and according to Alice it will change into a reality the day she admits her feelings for me.

So this lullaby just came to me while I was sitting at the piano, thinking about her. She was the inspiration. She was my love, the owner of my heart for the whole eternity. Therefore, this lullaby was hers and for her.

When? When will I meet you love? When will I be able to see you, touch you, hold you....kiss you?

I sighed and kept playing the lullaby again and again because it calmed me and made me feel as if she was right next to me. I always imagined her at my side and me playing this to her while she rests her head at my shoulder and smiled at me.

I just wish and hope that this fantasy becomes true one day and that day come soon.......

*present*

I never knew that for being a vampire, god would be merciful and grant me my wishes. But I was proved wrong.

I got out of home to go to my meadow, because the build-up tension of sorts in me was killing me. It had been years and the moment we have all been waiting for was just not coming soon enough.

I would always go to my meadow to feel close to Bella because, according to Alice and her vision that she saw years ago about me and Bella, my meadow is the place that will connect us. I always loved it and whenever I wanted to be alone or think or just relax, I would go there. It was very special to me but since Alice's vision, it has become a very important part of my life. Whenever I go there I feel like I'm with my Bella and that we are together. We are happy. We are in love.

I was on my way running to my meadow, I couldn't help myself and the feeling of joy and happiness and love for my Bella that surrounded me. Going to meadow always makes me feel light and happy.

When I got near it, though, I caught the sent of a human. And not just any human but my human. My Bella.

The scent was really good. Just like her. It was sweet and floral. The shocking thing was that I wasn't bothered much by it. Sure it was delicious but it didn't have a very strong effect on me and for this I was grateful. At least now I'm sure that my predator side won't be a big problem.

My family and I hunt on animals instead of humans which is quite humane for a vampire. This is the reason why we can be around people more normally and without wanting to kill them. Human blood is tempting and for Jasper it's the most because he just adopted our way of hunting, but because of hunting animals we are able to control our thirst. Our eyes are golden in color because of the same fact. But vampires who drink human blood have red eyes which makes them look more monstrous.

So when I caught her scent, I went to where it leaded me. It was my meadow that it took me to. And that's when I saw her for the first time in personal and so close and not in Alice's visions.

She was sitting there in the center. Her legs were folded beneath her and she was leaning back on her hands while facing the sky. She had a smile on her face and her hair looked like it was playing with the cool wind around. I wanted to run my hands through it. The moonlight falling on her face made her look like an angel right out of my fantasy world. But then she noticed me moving around her and searched around for an animal or something that can be there. Her beautiful eyes then fell on me.

First, I was confused because according to the first vision that Alice saw of us, it was when I had already met Bella and it was daytime in the vision too. I concentrated on reading her mind then to get any clue as to why she was here. I couldn't read her mind. It was blank and this got me frustrated because now how was I supposed to know what she was doing here and how she ended up here? I did wanted this day too come soon and now that it was here I was happy but I cared about my Bella more than anything. More than my wishes or desires. So I was worried as to why she would be here. Then I got confused because I never thought that my mind reading power would -or could- be immune to someone. Especially a human. And neither did Alice ever told me that I would be facing this complication.

I caught her expression which ranged between horror and shock and.....amazed? I realized I must have been looking like a dumb, not saying anything and just staring. And besides it wasn't polite to just stare at a lady like that but I also didn't take my eyes off of hers. I asked her if she was lost because that's what I would have asked if she was a stranger to me. She didn't answer and I panicked from inside.

Did I scare her?

Did she hated the way I acted to her presence?

Or.....Or did something happen to her? Like...like..something that made her unable to speak? Can she speak?

Oh no....no no no no no!

She then blinked and asked what I said. Relief flooded in my heart, and her voice calmed me immensely.

Her voice was throaty but beautiful. It was very calming to me.

Then when she hesitated in telling me the reason for her much-awaited presence, I tried to make her tell me. I used my dazzling powers on her by looking at her intensely and going extremely close to her, though it was very hard for me to be so close to her because I just couldn't help the urge that spread in me to touch her. I know it wasn't very gentlemanly of me to do something like that. God knows what will Esme do to me for being so impolite with someone and especially Bella...

But when she did tell me, I hoped she hadn't. I totally lost it and wanted to kill Billy!

How dare he say something like that to my Bella?

How can he even think of something like that for Bella's future career choice?

I stepped backwards to not hurt Bella in my rage.

But when she came closer and touched me, every feeling, every thought flew from my mind. It felt like she electrocuted me with her simple, feathery smooth and soft touch. It made every dead nerve in my body become charged. She seemed like she felt the same thing by that little touch. Then, as if to check if it was true and real, she cupped my face. She then held my face in both her small hands. I closed my eyes to savor her touch. The spark was back and stronger and felt so pleasant and good. Her warm small hands felt so right to touch me like that. Nobody has ever touched me like that but when she did, it felt as if she was the only one who had the right to do so.

I was so shocked and happy with everything. I could hear her heartbeat beating faster than normal and I was worried because I thought she was scared of me. But the fact that she was holding me and comforting me, made me realize that maybe she is just overwhelmed with everything. I mentally chastised myself for it though because it should be me comforting her. She was the one who was broken and sad. Not me.

But the feelings that her touch brought in me was surprising enough to concentrate only on them and nothing else. I felt...home.

We were content and peaceful. It felt like as if this was not our first meeting, like we have known each other for forever. Well, at least that part was true for me. I have known her for a long period of time which felt forever to me.

You don't know how long I've waited for you Bella..... I sighed.

Without even me noticing it, I said Bella's name out loud and she heard me. She then accused me of being friends with Billy or being an ally of him. That thought made me mad. I tried to tell her that I didn't know Billy except from what she told me, with every bit of honesty that I had in me. I hugged her and it felt so good. It couldn't be described in words as to how right and perfect she felt in my arms. She belonged there, right in my arms. I will protect her with everything in me and never let go of her. I belong to her. Forever.

Soon Alice was there to save me. Bella blushed seeing that someone saw us like that. And didn't she look more adorable and beautiful after that. I didn't think some one like her can be more beautiful than she already is but she proved me wrong with her rosy cheeks. I made it my mission to make her blush more often like that. It was truly a beautiful sight.

Alice came and her thoughts were happy and buzzing with excitement and visions. She was thinking so fast that I caught just some of it. Oh no...god save us from whatever her excitement brings this time...

YAY! Finally he met her! Lord knows how much he waited for her!

I am so happy for Edward!

I can't wait for the new beginning this will bring in all our lives!

I found a new sister and my first best friend! I am so excited! I can't wait to play Bella barbie with her!

Only Alice....

She hugged Bella realizing that she needed one because of what she has been through.

Don't worry Edward, I saw this happening and came to meet my new sister and future !

She winked at me from Bella's shoulder at that and I cracked a smile because the thought of Bella becoming Mrs.Cullen was just unbearably happy and amazing.

When she told me - in her mind- that she is going to invite Bella to our house, I was a little unsure. Sure it was fine with me but what if she just felt intimidated and overwhelming with our whole family? Even scared? But then I thought of how much they have also waited for her and finally gave her the permission because they all deserved to meet Bella too. Though, the little selfish part of me wanted to take her somewhere with me, alone, where she will be just to myself.

Alice asked Bella and surprisingly, she accepted the invitation. While walking out of the woods Alice told me, in her mind,

I already told the whole family that I am going to invite Bella and she might come with us and told them to bring out the humans in them and told Esme to cook something delicious, from the cook book of course. I warned them to behave themselves if Bella comes and I also brought my car to take us home.

I thanked for Alice being so ready and prepared because I couldn't tell Bella about us until the right time which I know is not now. And she then showed me a vision in which Bella was laughing at something Emmett said and my whole family was there. The sight of a happy and complete family. But then the vision ended. It was supposed to happen soon. Even a simple vision like that brought a huge grin on my face because the sight of Bella around us like a part of the family was also amazing. She was already a part of our family but having a glimpse of how that would be, left me speechless with the amount of happiness, joy and relief in me.

I got in the backseat in the car and Bella got in front with Alice in the driver's seat. The whole way I kept my head down imagining things that could happen now that I finally met her. I knew Bella was watching me the whole way through the rear view mirror with a curious expression and I couldn't show her the huge grin on my face because of the thoughts I was having. She would surely run off then.

The fact that she was going with us to our home was confusing because we were strangers to her after all. If it wasn't me and my family and my house, would Bella still go to a stranger's house?Just like that? The thought of her being with someone else the way she had been with me made my blood boil. Figuratively, of course.

But before I could think more torturous or happy thoughts, we reached our home.

thanks for reading guys!:) i hope you guys liked it. i hope i update the next chp soon!:P just kidding!i promise i'll try to post it ASAP :) and it will be in BPOV :)
now plz review cuz it really means alot and makes me wanna right more:)

Qareena