Rodle lowered his cool shades from his eyes, then lowered the newspaper from in front of his face. "This is serious!" he exclaimed, finally grasping the reality of the situation. He stood up robotically, flushed the toilet, and discarded the newspaper on the stone but intelligent looking floor.
The camera panned ominously toward the headline, which read: "Evil Kings Overrun Middle Earth! Adopt Yours Today!"
After Rodle's frantic explanation to his partner detailing the situation of the media's spin on the situation, Gerp stared back with an expression that clearly said, "I told you so." Also, "Make me a grilled cheese sandwich." But Gerp's expression always said this, so Rodle dismissed that part.
The expression did not diminish as Gerp solemnly said, "I've seen many others like it, friend. It seems all Animal Kingdom is up in arms about this… or worse, over-enthused." He recalled a headline he'd read a day earlier: "Evil Kings: Not All That Bad?" He shuddered. It was sickening.
"This is wrong. Wrong. We need to do something, fast." Rodle tapped his chin with his pointer finger. "Where can we find an appropriate teenage girl?"
"I've been constructing a machine that might help," Gerp replied, gesturing toward a table. Upon it sat a few thimbles and a rubber band. "It's a work in progress."
"We're not moving fast enough!" Rodle cried, exasperated. "Soon, there won't be any teenage girls left. Apparently Evil Kings have a habit of keeping them in their castles to do their bidding. It's strange behavior, but—"
"EUREKA!" yelled Gerp, tearing off his outer layer of science cloak and revealing a Sailor Moon costume. "My friend, it is you, not I, who has the Grace of Smart!" Looking into Gerp's binary chemical eyes, Rodle had no choice but to believe him. It was a totally cool ego boost, but he didn't quite understand. Gerp was quick to explain. His was a Grace to be shared. "We'll find a teenage girl already in the lair of an Evil King! She'll have inside information we won't be able to find anywhere else. And the prophecy will be fulfilled."
"Prophecy?" Rodle asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," said Gerp, with a concise and scientific nod. "Ever since mankind first discovered the creatures overrunning Dinosaur World, we have known only one truth: the power of a teenage girl living with an older, more evil man, is like that of no other. Why else do you think young women seek out jerks all the time? All women are imbued with a true wish to fulfill the prophecy."
Rodle's mouth contorted in confusion. "That's not a prophecy so much as a crass generalization."
"But a true one, Rodle! A true one!"
Rodle recognized the truth of the statement. Being decent, he had never once had a steady girlfriend. It all made sense now. And he'd thought it was because he liked science, or possibly because of his freakish animal-filled eyes! But now he knew otherwise. It gave him a new passion. He resolved to build a rocket made of bears and find this teenage girl, whatever it took. His Grace of Biology gave him the ability to assemble bears in any shape he could imagine. It was very formidable, and he had considered becoming an Evil King himself in times past. Now the thought disgusted him.
One look at Gerp and Rodle could tell his friend felt the same, except Gerp would probably build a rocket made of velociraptors, which was not quite as good as one made of bears. Together, they ripped through their current layer of clothing, revealing the superhero garb underneath.
Now they were men on a mission. A mission to rescue a woman blinded by her hideous evolutionary deficiencies. A mission to open that woman's eyes to the truth. A mission to save the world.
All in a day's work for scientists.