CHAPTER THREE

A Fail Plan…What Did You Do, Al?

Ed was reluctant to go to the hotel, even though he was the one who told Envy (as Winry) to meet him there at 7:00. Both Ed and Al were walking to Winry's room in the hotel, and they were about to knock on the door when: "I can't believe that she was so annoying to me in the public streets!" he told Al.

"Well…" Al hesitated. He had to be careful so that it looked like as if he didn't know much. "You shouldn't have called her a friggin' damn bitch, you know. That's not exactly how you're supposed to talk to a girl, so she did have a right to-"

Ed glared at his brother. "I know that I shouldn't have called her a friggin' damn bitch, but she didn't have to start teasing and insulting me. I was pretty sure she had faith in me to defeat Father when she suddenly, out of who knows where, came running back and started calling me midget and shrimp and all those offensive stuff that I didn't expect to hear after she was really nice to me." 'Oops, Ed, you just said the wrong thing.' Now Al was sure that Ed had a crush on her. Al started going "Ooooh" and Ed was blushing. Then Ed shook his head from side to side and then rapped on the door. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock! Knock! Knock! KNOCK! KNO-

"OKAAY!" Al could hear Winry's footsteps as she stomped toward the door and opened it. She smiled as she saw the two brothers, but was confused when Ed quickly stepped in and marched towards the sofa and hissed, "Winry, we have to talk." Al could see that Winry looked really confused, but she sat down, and after a few moments of hesitation, Al did as well.

"I can't believe that you-" Ed began.

"Can you just explain to me what is going on?" Winry looked at the two brothers. Al could see confusion clouding her gaze. "I don't get anything about why you look so mad, Ed. Did I say something wrong or mean to you? Is that why you're mad?"

Ed looked dumbfounded, then yelled with anger, "Excuse me? You don't know why I'm mad at all? What is with you, Winry? You called me a shrimp and a midget out in public and started annoying me. You were leaving to the hotel and you suddenly came back. I had no idea why and-"

"What?" Winry looked shocked. "I didn't do anything…at all! I left for the hotel and then I made myself some dinner to eat. And then you suddenly knocked on the door and I had no idea why, but I just opened the door anyway to see-"

"That is sooo not true!" Ed shouted. "You came back and started calling me all those small damn words and you were saying that Father was more powerful than me and that I could never defeat him, and then you also added that I couldn't defeat Envy, and I told you that I could but-"

"I did not say any of those words, neither did I come back to say them!" Winry snapped. "I have no idea what in the damn world you are talking about, so how about you just-"

"I will not explain it to you," Ed hissed, "because you already know what I'm talking about. This is no joke, Winry, this is actually serious, so hurry up and explain why you would do such a thing. I don't want to wait the whole night with you saying that you didn't do anything when you actually did-"

"I didn't do anything, Ed!" Winry screamed, filling the whole room with her screeching. She glared at Ed in disgust. "Are you sure it wasn't anyone who was dressing up as me or-"

"Who the hell would dress up as YOU, gadget geek?" Ed yelled. "You're way too damn ugly for someone to want to dress up as you-"

"I'm not ugly!" Winry gasped. Al was sure that she looked very hurt, but he kept silent, not wanting to disturb them as the argument was pretty amusing. "I can't believe you would say this, Ed. I'm telling you; I'm innocent. I did not say anything bad about you. I did not come back to talk to you after I said I was leaving for the hotel. I especially did not call you a midget-"

"You DID call me a midget-"

"I did NOT call you-"

"Just admit it that you-"

"I'm telling you, I did-"

"YOU DID call me a-"

"How come you don't-"

"Of course I don't trust you, because-"

"I can't believe that you think that I called you a-"

"You did call me a midget, so just admit it-"

"I will not admit it because I did not call you-"

"You're wasting my damn time, so hurry up and confess-"

"I won't confess, because I did not-"

"Geez! Just admit it already-"

"I DID NOT CALL YOU A-"

"STOP ARGUING, YOU TWO!" Al screeched. He couldn't stand it anymore, because all they were going to do was to argue and interrupt each other all night. Both Ed and Winry stopped arguing and stared at Al in shock, as if they forgot that he was in the room at the first place. "Okay bro, explain to her your side of the story, then Winry will say hers. Does this sound fair to both of you?" He didn't wait for an answer and added, "I can't believe that you two could keep arguing-"

"I'll tell her my story, then," Ed interrupted, glaring at Winry, who stared evenly back. "You came back after saying that you were leaving, told me that my hopes for defeating Father were way too high, and said that if I could not defeat Envy, then I couldn't defeat Father, then I got mad and called you a-"

"I said all those things?" Winry looked like she didn't believe it. Al tried not to laugh, since he knew the whole story, and that the arguing couple were going nowhere. "I never came back after leaving to the hotel. I'm pretty sure that someone must have disguised as me and started saying this stuff to you. And I don't even know this Envy guy, so I don't understand what you are talking about-"

"You do know who Envy is! Because you told me that I couldn't defeat him, so that meant that I couldn't defeat-"

"But that was after I left for the hotel," Winry pointed out. "So then, if I didn't come back after leaving for the hotel, then someone must've dressed up as me or something or rather to trick you to come over to me and argue. We should collect the pieces and then find the real reason to-"

"I still don't believe you anyway-"

"Well, you had better, because I am not-"

"You are lying, 'kay? Because I never trusted you from the-"

"You never trusted me? From the beginning? I'm so offended; how can you-"

"Because you always-"

"I don't want to hear-"

"Well too bad, you will hear-"

"Just listen to me so I can tell you my side of the-"

"You already did, and it's false and untrue and so unbelievable, so that means-"

"Just LISTEN! Okay, so-"

"I won't listen to your bullshit! So-"

"SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET ME-"

"I WILL NOT let you explain because it is-"

"It is NOT-"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP INTERUPTING EACH OTHER!" Al hollered, his metal suit of armour creating echoes. This was just going to have to keep arguing, so Al added, "Now, we'll just find out who is the real culprit for this argument that began at approximately 6:00-"

"Hey…" Ed looked at Al, confused. "How do you know that the argument started at 6:00? I never told you when it – the argument - started."

'Oh, crap…' Al thought as both Ed and Winry stared at him suspiciously. 'Sorry, Envy! I just ruined our plan!' Ed and Winry advanced Al, who backed away until he hit against the wall. Winry was glaring at Al with narrowed eyes whereas Ed was just staring at him with suspicion.

"Now you're going to tell me exactly who the culprit for all this is," Ed growled. "And you better speak the truth!"

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"And you better speak the truth!" Ed growled.

"Okay…!" Al gasped. "But first…I have cats in my armour, so-"

"Meeeow…"

'Allll!" Ed groaned. "Great; another cat argument."

"Meeeow…"

"Seriously, Al!" Winry threw a spanner on Al's head.

BANG!

"Reeeeooww!"

"Don't hurt the kitties!" Al gasped, lifting his head up and taking three blue-grey kittens out.

"Meeww~" the kittens meowed.

Ed sighed angrily. "Geez, what's with you and cats?"

"They're cute!"

"But we can't keep any pets, remember? I told you that like…X years ago."

"Aww…" Author interrupted them again, looking at the blue-grey kittens.

"You're mean and cruel and selfish, bro!" Al cried.

Author tutted. "Seriously, Ed," she sighed. "You're so cruel to your own brother. You should keep the kittens. After all, I have one and it's so adorable and it seems that the blue-grey kittens are already attached to Al."

Winry shook her head. "You know," she said after a while. "You're not part of this issue."

"Yes I am," Author retorted. "After all, I made this all happen, and I can make you do a handstand right now."

"No you can't," Winry replied. "I'm not very good with gymnastics."

"I'll make you anyway-"

"No!"

Author writes on a piece of paper, 'Winry then did a handstand and Ed began laughing.'

"ZOMG! I'm doing a handstand!" Winry exclaimed.

Ed cracked up. "LOL! You look ridiculous!"

'And then Ed decided to do a handstand as well, and then Al started laughing.'

"I'M DOING A HANDSTAND TOOOOO!" Ed screeched.

"…hey, that's weird," Author said. "Where's Al? I wrote that he started laughing, but I can't seem to find him."

But Al had run away after he called Ed mean and cruel and selfish and he started cracking up in the middle of the streets, where all the people were staring at him weirdly as there was also many meows coming from his suit of armour.

THE END