Disclaimer: Blah, blah, I don't own Harry Potter (if I did, I'd be rich). Also, a lot of the stuff in this chapter about Terry/Michael is canon from Dumbledore's Army and The Year of Darkness by Thanfiction. I seriously suggest reading it.
A/N This chapter ended up way longer than I was expecting. Ah, well.
Ch. 6 Well, Screw You, Too
I ran a brush hurriedly through my soaking wet hair, deciding not to cast a drying charm and to just let it dry wavy, then tugged on the gray skirt. I buttoned up my white shirt, then buttoned my gray cardigan with the navy and bronze trim over it. I shoved my feat into a pair of black ankle boots with a low heel (I was rarely seen without heels, they made me nearly average height) and pulled on my Hogwarts robes with the Ravenclaw crest and the navy blue trim. I pinned on my prefect badge and grabbed my black patent leather messenger bag with my school books in it and slung it over my shoulder. I spared my dorm one last look as I rushed out, smiling affectionately at the many moving pictures that littered my walls. Finally, I rushed out of the common room. I had to talk to Ginny and Terry at breakfast this morning. I could talk to the trio during our one joint free period directly after breakfast, provided Harry and Ron didn't have quidditch practice.
I entered the Great Hall and walked swiftly to where Ginny was sitting at the Gryffindor table. I grabbed her arm.
"Hey, Riv, what's up?" she asked casually, tossing her red hair over her shoulder and smiling up at me.
"I've got to talk to you. Come over to the Ravenclaw table with me and Terry." Her brow wrinkled in concern.
"Okay. I'll catch up with you guys later," she said to some of her fellow Gryffindors. "What's going on, River?"
"I'll tell you once we find Terry. It's not a story I want to tell more times than I need to," I said, scanning the Ravenclaw table for Terry.
"There he is, come on," He was sitting next to Michael Corner, nodding along to whatever he was saying with an expectant grin. It seemed Michael had gotten to the punch line, because Terry threw his head back and laughed.
"Hey, Micheal," I smiled at the other Ravenclaw. Michael swept his long brown hair out of his eyes and smiled at me, glancing cautiously at his red headed ex girlfriend. Terry looked up at me, his eyes resting on Ginny for a brief moment. He looked resentful. He resented any girl Mike dated for the great fear that she would steal his beloved best friend from him. Mike and Terry glanced at each other, and I knew that they were using some well practiced legilimency. Their mental connection was so strong that they didn't need to cast some charm to see into each other's head anymore.
"Hey, River, how are you?"
"Excellent, thanks, and yourself?"
"Good, I'm guessing you want to borrow Terry?"
"If you don't mind,"
"Well, let's face it, even if I did mind, I think you'd still win him" He laughed. I giggled in response. Terry glanced at Mike and I got a vague flash of not true when Terry really wanted something heard, I'd get it too, not as clearly as Mike did, but I heard it. Mike smiled in his slightly bemused way that said whatever, Terry.
"Thanks, Michael, see you later,"
"Bye guys," He turned to Anthony Goldstein, who was sitting next to him as Terry stood up to join me. I knew he was still upset with me, but I really did need to tell him this. Ginny, Terry and I sat down at the end of the Ravenclaw table and I turned to them.
"What's going on, River? Are you okay?" Ginny asked in a rush.
"Yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine. You're not going to be pleased with me though," I looked at both of them slyly.
"Spill it, River, I don't have a ton of time," Terry said, swiping his sandy blonde hair out of his deep blue eyes. He had grown quite handsome at the middle of last year. He used to be a scrawny kid with thick, shaggy blonde hair, a jaw that was a little to square for the rest of his face, and chiseled cheekbones that stuck out too far from his cheeks, and blue eyes that were too big and too old for his childish face, but he'd grown into his square jaw, jutting cheek bones and large eyes. And he'd matured enough to match the age of his eyes. Most importantly, he'd chopped his hair off a little, and his long neck now fit the still shaggy length, and his body had started to harden in all the right ways, toned muscle, not pointy bone. It wouldn't be long before other Ravenclaw girls started to fancy him.
"Riv?" He smirked as I stared at him absentmindedly. "What were you thinking of?"
"Just remembering when you were a scrawny, awkward git of a kid," I smiled back at him.
"Back on topic, River, come on!" Ginny said, tossing her hair impatiently. I could always tell her emotions by the way in which she moved her hair. The short movements that she was using to push it out of her face now meant impatience. I smiled at my best friend.
"Well, see, it's kind of a long story… but you must forgive me…" and I launched into the story, beginning with the bathroom, though conveniently forgetting the bit about the soul mates and the kissing, then moving on to the hospital wing, quoting with a Ravenclaw's accuracy the things he had said about his parents, and finally, ending with the letter he wrote to his father.
I finished the story and looked expectantly up into Terry's eyes. I knew that in spite of everything he was to me, and everything I was to him, if I hurt him, if I betrayed him in this deepest of ways, he would run. He would run back to his best friend, Mike Corner, and he would hide from me and never allow himself to forgive me, his strength of will was that strong.
He stood in one fluid motion.
"Terry…"
"I'm sorry, River. I just don't understand,"
"Please, Terry, no…" But he had already turned in that proper way of his and begun to walk away. He turned back only once.
"Maybe one day, River, both of us will see a little clearer," He walked back to where Mike was already expectantly standing, their legilimency clearly meant he already knew the gist of what was going on, but the confusion in his dark eyes meant that he hadn't gotten much from Terry's mind. They exited the Great Hall together, exchanging significant glances as they silently communicated.
I turned desperately back to Ginny and looked at her wordlessly.
"Well, I'm not going to just walk away if that's what you're wondering. I'm not madly in love with you like he is,"
"But you're mad,"
"No… not mad, just… confused. I don't know if this is your greatest idea yet, River. There are just so many exterior motives that could be going on. I would proceed with caution,"
"Ginny, say something important, please,"
"You're my best friend, River, you always will be. I'm not exactly pleased, and don't expect me to hang out with you two or anything, don't even expect me to like him. But I can't just walk out, not after everything I've given to you in the past five years of my life. But… don't expect my brother, or my boyfriend, to be quite as understanding as I am. His family has treated my family like dirt for too many generations for Ron to get it through his thick skull that finally, this Malfoy might be different. And Harry, well, Harry has a stubborn streak longer than Hermione's. He's despised Draco for six years, and the Malfoys represent everything Harry has been fighting against since he was one year old, the only person to ever survive a killing curse. I think, though, I think he'll understand. It's not his fault he was raised by the Durselys, just like it's not Draco's fault he was raised by Narcissa and Lucius, with Bellatrix for an aunt. Harry's just stronger, and he tends to not feel contempt for those that are weaker than he so much as he pities them. I don't know, though, River. I thought you of all people would think this out, you are, after all, a Ravenclaw." But Ginny smiled kindly all me. And I saw that she, truly, forgave me. I squeezed her bicep lightly in thanks and smiled back.
"You utter and complete moron, Terry Boot!" Michael Corner's familiar voice echoed in the Great hall. So few people had ever actually heard him raise his voice that only his room mates didn't look up in shock at the sound of him yelling.
"You walk away?! Just like that?! You go apologize RIGHT NOW Terry, or you will have quite a few people to talk to about hurting River," Every eye in the room suddenly turned to me, and I flushed what I was sure was a magnificent scarlet.
We couldn't hear Terry's response to Michael's yelling, but it was apparently not the answer Michael wanted to hear.
"No Terry, just no! You have been my best friend for six effing years, but your hot and cold behavior towards her is unreasonable, and you must give it up! We will continue this conversation after you apologize to River!" The authority in Michael's tone was amazing. He'd always taken the back seat to Terry when it came to leading. Terry was smarter, harder working, though Michael was generally more likeable, more handsome and shown brighter than Terry did.
"Thanks Michael!" I yelled back. I heard his laughter first, then the rest of the students joined it.
"Anytime he's being thick River, just let me know!" Michael called back and Terry sheepishly entered the room, his steps shuffling, his head bowed, and his cheeks a shade of red that even the Weasleys would be impressed by. His entrance was met with cat calls and one lone whistle that I recognized as Flitwick's from the staff table. I turned to look at him and was surprised to see Dumbledore raise his glass at me, then wink one twinkling blue eye. Flitwick was chuckling quietly to himself, and I winked at him. His laugh grew deeper as Terry stood in front of me.
"Let's go, you great git. I don't think I've ever heard Corner yell like that, especially not at you," I grabbed Terry's elbow and guided him out of the Great Hall to many cat calls and whistling. I knew I heard Ron give a loud whoop and even thought I could make out Hermione saying "Honestly Ron," then Harry's familiar laugh, but I might have just been imagining that. As we stepped into the hallway, I saw Michael's familiar slim, toned, handsome frame outlined against the walls. He grinned and gave his head a slight upward jerk in acknowledgement as a cocky grin snaked its way across his lovely features. He really was one of the most handsome boys in Hogwarts.
"I'm sorry, River, I really am. I… overreacted." Terry started, and I could feel a long speech coming on.
"Don't worry about it," I grinned, flipping my wrist at him casually.
"But, River-"
"No, Terry, come one,"
"River, seriously, I need to explain. I need you to understand." He looked at me cautiously, as if to ensure I wasn't going to interrupt, before continuing with his speech. "You know I really care about you, Riv, more than I've got a right to. No, don't interrupt. You see, Michael's my best mate, the best mate I'll ever have, and I'm lucky, because I've seen brothers that aren't even as close as the two of us. We don't need to talk about things, seeing as we can read each other's minds as it is, but it's completely useless to even try to keep anything from him. You're different. When I tell you something it's because I need you to know, want you to know. It doesn't compare to Mike… but it's necessary to my survival to know I have that. And, River, you know I'm in love with you. That's not exactly news. And I know you don't feel the same. That's not exactly news either," There was that subtly cryptic sense of humor that I loved so. "And you've got to understand something. I'm logical, River, perhaps more logical than anyone in this school. It's all about my head for me. So when my heart gets involved, it's not without much careful thought and deliberation. I gave everything to Mike, absolutely everything, and when you came around, I somehow found more and gave you everything else. But it wasn't easy. I'm not a Gryffindor, filled with rash courage, so it doesn't come easily to do something dangerous like give away my heart. I'm not a Hufflepuff, so naturally loyal that it wouldn't even be a question. I'm not a Slytherin, who pretends to not even have a heart and only uses people. I'm a Ravenclaw, damnit. And I'm guarded like a Ravenclaw, calm, cool, logical like a Ravenclaw. And Michael Corner's my best friend, and a bloody handsome guy, and I've always known that someday you'd notice, and I've always been scared of that day, because I can not compare. But Draco Malfoy? Even beginning to compete with him physically is a joke. I'm a scrawny kid with shaggy hair and glasses. So, it was a threat. Malfoy was a threat I thought I'd never have to deal with where you were involved. Now, you come and tell me this and I freaked out. Not because I particularly hate him, he's certainly not pleasant, but from what you're saying it sounds like he's been through a lot, and not because I think you're betraying your friends, because I think you need to put yourself first more often, but because I'm jealous of every other boy in your life and I'm terrified he'll hurt you. Do you understand what I'm trying to say, River?" His lovely eyes were boring into mine with a fierce intensity I wasn't used to from my fellow Ravenclaw and dear friend. I threw my arms around his waist as a grand thank you.
"Thank you, Terry, really." He wrapped his arms protectively around my little body and pulled my closer. I inhaled deeply of the scent that was purely him, some fantastic mixture of fresh laundry, and the pages of new books, and faint hints of Mike's cologne, barely tinged with the scent of winter green that always colored his breath.
"Oh, River, if you only knew what it's costing me. But it would cost me so much more to walk away."
"Now, that, Terry, is the most logical thing you've said all night. Go talk to Mike, I can hear him pacing over there."
"Oh, he knows what's going on, and he's been throwing in some suggestions for what I should be saying. He's pacing because he's waiting for me to listen. Plus, that's just what Mike does." Terry grinned and swept his hair out of his face and pushed back his rectangular, black glasses in one familiar smooth motion. I'd been watching him do that since the very first time I met him on the Hogwarts express, and the motion was a comfort to me, a reminder that some things stayed the same.
"I know Mike tries to convince you of this all the time, but you really are beautiful, Terry, not like Mike is, not in a shallow pin up sort of way, but in a Byronic scholar kind of way. It's charming, and it's not going to be long before you've got Michael blocking you out of his head to hide the fact that he's crying about some girl taking you away." I squeezed his slender bicep affectionately.
"Nah, Mike wouldn't be that pathetic." Terry grinned affectionately, then put his hand over mine, brought mine to his lips and brushed his lips against it lightly. He then retreated down the corridor to where I could still hear Mike's relentless pacing. I took a deep breath, put a wide smile on my face and went back into the Great Hall to great applause and many raised eyebrows. I grinned shyly and ducked my head, allowing my still damp hair to fall in a curtain around my face. Clearly, Mike's raised voice had alerted everyone to the fact that something dramatic was going on. Ron, Hermione and Harry looked up and caught my eye. I nodded once at them and Harry and Hermione stood at the same time. It took Ron a moment later to understand what was going on, and he scampered after them. I turned smoothly and headed out of the Great Hall, hearing their footsteps sound behind me. As soon as I was in the corridor I turned to face them.
"What's up, Riv?" Harry asked as the three of them caught up.
"Gryffindor common room?"
"Yes, of course," Harry's voice was casual, but his dark brow was knitted in careful concern.
We stopped our brisk walk in front of the portrait of the fat lady so that Harry could whisper the password to her; we then marched into the nearly empty common room. We sat in their favorite chairs and I told them the same story I'd told Terry and Ginny. Harry's face grew more and more confused, looking dreadfully embarrassed when I got the part about him cursing Draco. Hermione looked more and more concerned. And Ron looked more and more angry. I finished the story and looked down at my hands, which were folded in my lap.
Ron stood up, his face an absolute mask of anger. Harry stood up and opened his mouth as if to stop Ron, but the tactless wonder would not be stopped.
"Screw you, River Olivia, you dirty traitor, you pure blood lover, gold digger, friend abandoning, traitor. Screw you." He turned and walked towards the stairs that led to the boys dormitories. My eyes flooded with tears and I wanted to sob and apologize and promise to make it all better. Then I remembered Luna's words and a terrible anger flamed up inside of me.
"SCREW YOU TOO RONALD WEASLEY" I stormed out of the common room. I had just exited the portrait hole when I felt a hand on my arm.
"River," I recognized Hermione's voice and stopped, but didn't turn around to look at her. "I'm sorry for his behavior. I think it's good that you're trying to help Draco. I would never be good enough to do that. I think that Draco needs you and you're being pretty bloody honorable. I'm proud to call you, friend of Draco Malfoy, my friend. And… I think… I think your sister would be proud, too." She looked at me with near pity at the last sentence. And, somehow, that last comment made it alright. Because my sister would have been proud, not just because I was doing something moral, but because I'd told off Ron. She'd be damn proud, that fierce Brooke Anne Trife.