AUTHORS NOTE: So it didn't take me long to get this done, since I don't want my buddy Austria to kill me... =_=' So here's Part 3 just for you Austria now you don have to hate me =D K hope everyone is enjoying this. And again I will add I do not Own Hercules or Hetalia Thanks for reading and please comment.
Oh and one more thing. If there is any Disney movie or movie in general that you would like Spain and I to turn into a Hetalia film we would be happy to oblige. As long as we know what it is. It's helpful when you've seen the movie you know?
[Isle of the Goat Man]
Spain: You sure this is the right place? (He asks Taurus who nods a yes.) [Spain sees three Baltic's laughing in the trees, then he sees a goat's behind sticking from the bushes.] What's the matter, little guy? You stuck?
Goat Man: Whoa! Hey, butt out, buddy!
Spain: (makes disgusted face) Ugh.
[The Baltic's hear them and run off]
Goat Man: Boys! Stop! Stop! Come back, come back, come back. Whoa, whoa... [The Baltic he gets a hold on turns into flowers.] Oh, geez! Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! [Another Baltic turns into a tree.] Oh, Baltic's! They can't keep their hands off me!
Baltic AKA Latvia: Hey! (Its tree branch smacks him.)
Goat Man: (to Spain) What's the matter? You never seen a satyr before?
Spain: Uh... no. Can you help us? We're looking for some Goat Man who trains hero's...
Goat Man: Call me England.
[Spain Squeezes his hand]
Spain: England!
England: Ow!
Spain: Boy am I glad to meet you! I'm Spain. This is Taurus. [Taurus licks England]
England: Animals! Disgusting!
Spain: I need your help. I want to become a hero. A true hero.
England: Sorry, kid, can't help ya. (walks away to his house)
Spain: Wait!
[He pulls the door, England closed before him and raises it in the air with one hand]
England: Whoo!
Spain: Uh, sorry. Why not?
England: Two words: I am retired.
[Spain counts on his fingers]
Spain: Look, I gotta do this. Haven't you ever had a dream, something you wanted so bad you'd do anything?
England: (he sighs) Kid, come inside, I want to show you something.
[Inside, Spain hits his head against some wooden mast.]
England: Watch it! That was part of the mast of the Argo.
Spain: The Argo?
England: Yeah. Who do you think taught Jason how to sail? Grandpa Rome? I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Prussius, Turkius. A lot of "yeuseus." And every single one of those bums let me down. Flatter then a discus. None of them could go the distance. And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all... the build, the foot speed. He could jab, he could take a hit, he could keep on comin'. But that furshlugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and... Kaboom! He's history. Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars... All across the sky, and people would say, "That's England's boy." That's right. Eh, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment.
Spain: But I am different than those other guys, England! I can go the distance. Come on, I'll show you.
England: (he grunts) Geez, you don't you give up, do ya?
Spain: Watch this.
[He raises something big which looked like a UFO and sends it flying away]
England: Holy Lili... You know maybe if I... No! Snap out of it! I am too old to get mixed up in this stuff again.
Spain: But if I don't become a true hero, I'll never be able to rejoin my father, America.
England: Hold it! America is your father, right?
Spain: Uh-huh.
England: (He laughs) America! The big guy. He's your daddy! Mr. Hamburger Bolts, read my a book, will ya... da-da? America! (Mimics America) Once upon a time...
Spain: It's the truth!
England: Please!
(Sings)
So you wanna be a hero, kid, well, whoop-de-do
I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you
Each and every one was disappointment
Pain for which there ain't no ointment
So much for excuses
Though a kid of America's is
Asking me to jump into the fray
My answer is two words
[Lightning hits England]
Okay
Spain: You mean you'll do it?
England: You win.
Spain: You won't be sorry, England.
England: Oh, gods.
Spain: So when do we start? Can we start now?
England: Oy, vay.
(England sings)
I'd given up hope that someone would come along
A fella who'd ring the bell for once but not the gong
The kind who wins trophies
Won't settle for low fees
At least semipro fees
But no, I get the greenhorn
I've been out to pasture, pal, my ambition gone
Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn
But you need an adviser
A satyr, but wiser
A good merchandiser and... whoa!
There goes my ulcer
I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you
Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true
I trained enough turkeys
Who never came through
You're my one last hope
So you'll have to do
England: Rule #6: When rescuing a damsel, always handle with care. [Spain falls into the water with the fake damsel] No! Rule #95, kid: Concentrate! Rule #96: Aim! [Shows England who just dogged a bunch of daggers, one barely missing his vital regions]
(Singing)
Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery
Don't believe in the stories that you read on all the crockery
To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art
Like painting a masterpiece it's a work of heart
It takes more then sinew
Comes down to what's in you
You have to continue
To grow! [Shows Spain's arm muscles breaking the measuring tape. Spain is now an adult]
England: Now that's more like it!
(singing)
I'm down to one last shot and my last high note
Before that blasted underworld gets my goat
My dreams are on you, kid
Go make 'em come true
Climb that uphill slope
Keep pushing that envelope
You're my one last hope
And, kid, it's up to you
Yeah!
Spain: Did you see that? [He says after finally beating England's obstacle course] Next stop, Olympus.
England: All right, just take it easy, champ.
Spain: I am ready, I want to get off this island. I want to see battles and monsters! Rescue some damsels... You know, heroic stuff.
England: Well...
Spain: Awe come on, England!
England: Well, okay, okay. You want a road test? Saddle up, kid. We're going to Thebes!
Spain: Yahoo! [Now flying on Taurus] So, what's in Thebes?
England: A lot of problems. It's a big tough town, good place to start building a rep. [they hear someone screaming] Sounds like your basic D.I.D... Damsel In Distress. [Spain directs Taurus towards the screams and they rush to help the Damsel. They land and see a guy being chased by a monster centaur]
Centaur AKA Prussia: Not so fast, sweetheart.
Damsel AKA Romano: I swear, Prussia. Put me down or I'll...
Prussia: Wooo! I like 'em fiery!
[In the bushes Spain gets angry, while England instructs...]
England: Now remember, kid. First, analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking. Eh? [Spain walks up to Prussia and Romano] He's losing points for this!
Romano: You don't know what you're...
Spain: Halt!
Prussia: Step aside, two legs.
Spain: Pardon me, my good, uh, uh... sir. I'll have to ask you to release that young...
Romano: Keep movin' junior.
Spain:... man. But you... are-aren't you a damsel in distress?
Romano: I am a guy, I am in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.
Spain: Uh... *ahem* Sir, I'm afraid you may be too close to the situation to realize... [He takes his sword out and Prussia immediately hits him so he flies away]
England: Ohhh! What are you doin'? Get your sword!
Spain: (Searching in water) Sword. Right, right... Rule #15: A hero is only as good as his weapon! [He picks up a fish and directs it at Prussia. Prussia laughs and Romano looks bored. Prussia then hits Spain with a fist and Spain flies away again]
(England groans and tells to Taurus who rushes to help)
Whoa! Hold it! Hold on! He's gotta do it on his own. Come on, kid! Concentrate! Use your head!
Spain: Oh... [He runs and hits Prussia with his head. Prussia drops Romano and flies back]
England: All right! Not bad, kid. Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad.
[Romano gets up from the water and coughs]
Spain: Oh, gee, Sir, I'm-I'm really sorry.
Romano: Oh.
Spain: That was dumb. [He picks Romano up and places him next to England]
Romano: Yeah.
[Prussia runs in again]
Spain: Excuse me.
[He attacks Prussia, hits his head several times and throws him]
England: Nice work! Excellente!
Romano: Is wonderboy here for real?
England: What are you talking about? Of course he's for real... (Notices Romano) Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks, I'm real too.
[England gets on Romano's lap, but he pushes him into the water]
Romano: Yuck, nasty goat bastard.
[Meanwhile, Spain is riding on Prussia]
Spain: Yee-hah! Yahoo! [He finishes Prussia in a spectacular fight] How was that, England?
England: Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathlons, but this is the big leagues!
Spain Sighs: At least I beat him. Didn't I?
England: Next time don't let your guard down because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes! D-oh! It's like I keep tellin' ya. You gotta stay focused, and you...
[Spain walks up to Romano]
Spain: Are you, uh, all right, Mr, uh
Romano: Romano. My friends call me Roma at least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?
Spain: Uh, I'm, um, uh...
Romano: Are you always that articulate? [He turns to leave]
Spain: Spain. My... *ahem* My name is Spain.
Romano: Spain, huh? I think I prefer wonderboy.
Spain: So, uh, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the, uh...
Romano: Bastard with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think that "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me, I'm yours". [Spain looks confused as Romano leans in close for the take me I'm yours line] Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to ya later.
[England growls]
Spain: Wait! Um... can we give you a ride?
[Taurus snorts, growls, and jumps to a high branch in a tree beside him]
Romano: Uh, I don't think your Pinto likes me very much.
Spain: Taurus? Oh, no, don't be silly. He'd be more than happy to... ow!
[Taurus drops an apple on Spain's head]
Romano: I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough boy. I tie my own sandals and everything. Bye-bye Wonderboy.
Spain: Bye... He's something, isn't he, England?
England: Yeah, oh yeah, he's really something. A real pain in the the patella! Earth to Spain! Come in Spain! We got a job to do, remember? Thebes is still waitin'.
Spain: Yeah. Yeah. I know.
[Romano walks into the forest and come upon a rabbit and a small gopher]
Romano: Awe... how cute. A couple of rodents looking for a theme park.
Switzerland: (as a bunny) Who you callin' a rodent, buddy? I'm a bunny!
Hungary: (as a gopher) A-and I'm his gopher.
Together: Ta-dah! (They turn into themselves)
Romano sighs: I thought I smelled a rat.
Austria: Roma.
Romano: Speak of the devil.
Austria: Roma, my little tomato, my little bird, my little nut, Roma. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less.
Romano: I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse.
Austria: Fine. So, instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay? Give that your best shot.
Romano: It wasn't my fault! It was that wonderboy, Spain.
Hungary: Spain? Why does that name ring a bell?
Switzerland: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?
Austria: What was that name again?
Romano: Spain. He comes on with this big, innocent farm boy routine but I could see through that in a peloponnesian minute.
Switzerland: Wait a minute. Wasn't Spain the name of that kid we were supposed to...
Switzerland and Hungary: Oh my gods!
Hungary: Run for it!
Austria: So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a door nail. Weren't those your exact words? {Grabs them and brings them towards him}
Switzerland: This might be a different Spain.
Hungary: Yeah! I mean, Spain is a very popular name nowadays!
Switzerland: Remember, like, a few years ago every other boy was named Antonio and the girls were all named Elizabeth?
Austria: I am about to rearrange the Cosmos and the one shlemiel who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods!
[Austria explodes]
Switzerland: Wait. Wait, big guy. We can still cut in on his waltzing.
Hungary: That's right! And-and-and at least we made him mortal, that's a good thing. Didn't we?
Austria: Hmm... Fortunately for the three of you we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight. And this time, no foul-ups. [He says as he laughs maniacally and pulls his three minions towards his face]