AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow two chapter's in one day I'd say I was on a roll but uh ya... I cheated on a song and didn't put all of it up sorry guys but it was long... Promise it won't happen again.
Still hope everyone is enjoying this strange little parody, comment and share the love with others thanks.
Start for a Hero:
{Meanwhile, Spain and England are flying on Taurus}
Spain: Wow! Is that all one town? (he asks once he sees Thebes)
England: One town. A million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The big olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. [They enter the crowd] Stick with me, kid. This city is a dangerous place.
[They almost get hit by a passing carriage]
Driver: Look where you're goin' numbskull!
England: Hey, I'm walkin' here! You see what I mean? I'm tellin' you... wackos.
Man: Pita bread, pita bread, get your pita bread here!
Smuggler: Hey, Mack.
[He opens his coat at England and Spain]
England: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Smuggler: Wanna buy a sundial?
England: He's not interested, all right? Come on, kid.
Italy: The end is coming! Can't you feel it?
England: Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes. We'll ponder that for a while. (to Spain) Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on. Don't make eye contact. People here are nuts. That's because they live in a city of turmoil. Trust me, kid, you're gonna be just what the doctor ordered.
Woman AKA Belarus: It was tragic! We lost everything in the fire.
Man AKA Greece: Everything except old Snowball here.
[Snowball the cat meows]
Strong Man AKA Prussia: Now, were the fires before or after the earthquake?
Thin Woman AKA Ukraine: They were after the earthquake, I remember.
Belarus: But before the flood.
Another Man AKA Estonia: Don't even get me started on the crime rate.
Belarus: Thebes has certainly gone downhill in a hurry.
Estonia: Tell me about it. It seems like every time I turn around there's some new monster wreaking havoc and I...
Prussia: All we need now is a plague of locusts.
[Frog jumps in and scares everybody]
Estonia: That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!
Spain: Excuse me. It uh *ahem* seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.
Prussia: Yeah, and who are you?
Spain: (he kind of stairs at Prussia for a second thinking he looked familiar) Didn't I... (he shakes his head and ignores his thoughts) I'm Spain, and, uh, I happen to be... a hero.
[The crowd laughs]
Estonia: Is that so?
Belarus: A hero!
Estonia: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?
Spain: Well, uh... no.
Prussia: Oh, listen to this. He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.
Belarus: That's a laugh.
England: Don't you pea brains get it?
Belarus: Hmm?
England: This kid is a genuine article.
Greece: Hey, isn't that the goat-man who trained Achilles?
England: (getting angry) Watch it pal.
Prussia: Yeah, you're right. Hey, nice job on those heels! Ya missed a spot!
England: I got your heel right here! (hits Prussia down and starts beating him.) I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You...
Spain: Hey England! England! England! Take it easy, England. [He picks England up off of Prussia]
Prussia: What are you, crazy? Sheesh.
Belarus: Young man, we need a professional hero. Not an amateur.
Spain: Well, wait. Stop! (sighs) How am I supposed to prove myself a hero if nobody will give me a chance?
England: You'll get your chance, you just need some kind of catastrophe or disaster.
[Romano appears in the crowd]
Romano: Please! Help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!
Spain: Romano?
England: Speaking of disasters.
Romano: Wonderboy! Spain! Thank goodness!
Spain: Wh-what's wrong?
Romano:Outside of town, two little boys, they were playing in the gorge. There was a rock slide, a terrible rock slide. They're trapped!
Spain: Kids? Trapped? England, this is great!
Romano: You are really choked up about this, aren't ya?
Spain: (drags Romano along) Come on!
Romano: No, I... You don't under... I have this terrible fear of heights! (He says as he ends up on the back of Taurus with Spain)
England: (running) I'm right behind ya, kid! Whoo! (panting) I am way behind ya, kid. (sputtering) Ugh I got a fur wedgie.
[Spain and Romano land and Spain dismounts from Taurus]
Spain: Are you okay?
Romano: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.
Switzerland as a boy AKA Holy Roman Empire: Help! I can't breathe! (He shouts from behind the boulders)
Hungary as a boy AKA Chibitalia: Hurry!
Holy Rome: Get us out!
Chibitalia: We're suffocating! Somebody call IX-I-I.
Spain: Easy fellas, you'll be all right. (He says to them as he starts to pry the rocks out of the way.)
Holy Rome: We can't last much longer!
Chibitalia: Get us out before we get crushed!
[Spain raises a huge boulder. The kids run out from under it and the crowd applaud lightly]
Spain: How you boys doin'?
Chibitalia: We're okay now.
Holy Rome: Jeepers, mister, you're really strong!
Spain: (still holding the stone) Well, try to be a little more careful next time, okay, kids?
Holy Rome: We sure will!
[They run away, up the slope and face Austria]
Austria: A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.
Hungary: "Jeepers, Mister"?
Switzerland: I was going for innocence.
Austria: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. (looking at Romano) What a dish, what a doll.
Romano: (says quietly) Get outta there, you big tomato head, while you still can.
Spain: England, I did great. They even applauded... sort of.
[Growling sound appears]
England: Huh! I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but that ain't applause.
[Hydra appears]
Spain: En-En-En-England? What do you call that thing?
England: Two words! Am-scray!
Austria: Let's get ready to rumble!
[Hydra and Spain start fighting]
England: That's it. Dance around! Dance around! Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth. Keep going. Come on. Come on. Lead with your left. Lead with your left! Your other left!
[Spain gets eaten. The crowd goes silent. After a few moments, Spain finally cuts the head of the Hydra off from inside it. The Crowd Cheers]
England: All right! All right! You bad! Okay!
Spain: See, England? That... that wasn't so hard.
[He is covered in green gunk. He drops his sword and falls on the ground]
England: Kid, kid, kid, how many horns do you see?
Spain: Six?
England: Eh, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up.
[Above in Austria's watching place, Hungary shivers and gulps]
Austria: Guys, guys, relax. It's only halftime.
[Below, Spain and England hear rumbling from the Hydra's body]
England: That doesn't sound good.
[The Hydra grows three new heads]
England: Definitely not good!
[Spain gets on Taurus. He fights the with the Hydra and keeps slicing her heads off, getting more and more new ones]
England: Will you forget that head-slicing thing?
[Spain gets knocked off of Taurus and falls among the heads and necks of the Hydra]
Spain: England, I don't think we covered this one in basic training!
[Spain escapes, but falls back from the cliff and is now pressed against the wall by the Hydra's paw]
Austria: My favorite part of the game: sudden death.
[Spain crushes a rock on the Hydra and gets buried under rocks himself]
England: Oh! There goes another one. Just like Achilles.
Austria: Game. Set. Match.
[Spain appears from Hydra's dead paw. Crowd cheers really loud now]
Spain: England, you gotta admit, that was pretty heroic.
England: Ya did it, kid! Ya did it! You won by a landslide!
[Above]
Hungary: Austria mad...
Romano: Well. What do ya know?
{Cut to Nordics}
Finland (sings): From that day forward, our boy Spain could do no wrong. (spoken) He was so hot, steam looked cool. Oh, yeah!
Denmark: Bless my soul, Spain was on a roll. Person of the week in every greek opinion poll.
Norway: What a pro!
Finland:
Spain could stop a show
Point him at a monster and you're talkin' S.R.O.
He was a no one
A zero, a zero
Now he's a honcho
He's a hero!
He was a kid with his act down pat
Zero to hero in no time flat
Zero to hero
Just like that
When he smiled the girls went wild
Oooohh ahhhhhhh.
Denmark: And they slapped his face on every vase
Iceland: On every "Vahse"!
Nordics:
From appearance fees and royalties
Our Spain had cash to burn
now nouveau riche and famous
He could tell you what's a grecian urn
Say amen
There he goes again
Sweet and underrated
And an awesome ten for ten
Folks lined up just to watch him flex
And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs
Hercie, he comes, he sees, he conquers
Honey, the crowds were goin' bonkers
He showed the moxie brains and spunk... yeah!
From zero to hero
A major hunk
Zero to hero
And who'd have thunk...
Who put the glad in gladiator. Ect... ect... [(sorry guys this song is way to long)]
[Throughout the song you see Spain being paraded with riches and fighting off monsters, being loved by all and what not.]
Iceland: Yes indeed!
[Austria practices shooting at targets]
Austria: Pull!
Romano: Nice shooting, Rex.
Austria: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him. And it doesn't even... (See's Switzerland wearing Spain(tm) sandals) What are those?
Switzerland: Um... I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.
Austria: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke and you are wearing his merchandise!
[Hungary interrupts them by slurping some cola from a Spain(tm) plastic cup]
Hungary: Thirsty?
[Austria yells, causing a small earthquake]
Romano: Looks like your game's over. Wonderboy is hitting every curve you throw at him.
Austria: Oh yeah... I wonder if maybe I haven't been throwing the right curves at him. Roma, my sweet. (He says as he outlines Romano's body with a gray mist.)
Romano: Don't even go there.
Austria: See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness I mean for what? Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? We simply need to find out Wonderboy's.
Romano: I've done my part. Get your little imps...
Austria: They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need someone who can... handle him as a man.
Romano: Hey I've sworn of manhandling.
Austria: Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into this jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Roma? Huh?
Romano: Look, I learned my lesson, okay?
Austria: Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down wonder breath and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire Cosmos: (he whispers in Romano's ear): your freedom.