a/n - omg 18 chapters xD
Carlos turned to look at Logan, a worried look on his face. Mr and Mrs Diamond had found him running away from the Palm Woods and since they had got into the car he hadn't said or done anything but stare out the window and breathe quietly, deep in thought. Carlos tapped James on the shoulder and they exchanged a worried glance. James placed his hand on Logan's shoulder, causing him to flinch and spin around
"Woah, Logan you okay?" Logan nodded and relaxed when he realised it was just James and turned to look back out the window at the buildings racing by.
"Never better" Logan mumbled. James took a deep breath and squeezed Carlos' hand noticed the look on his face as they pulled up into the hospital parking lot. He and Logan looked so scared and hurt that it broke James' heart.
The three boys jumped out of the car and walked into the hospital in silence. Logan was the first up to the desk
"I'm here to see Kendall Knight" The receptionist nodded, started typing something into her computer and after a few moments she looked back up
"Doctor Phillips will be down in a second sir" Logan clenched his teeth slightly
"I said Kendall Knight"
"I know, I heard you, but Doctor Phillips would like to talk to you first" Logan closed his eyes and pinched the top of his nose.
"Logie, calm down dude, we'll see Kendall in a minute" James said, placing his hand on Logan's lower back. Logan turned his head to look at James
"You did it again..." James gave Logan a confused look.
"Did what...?"
"Called me Logie" James flushed red
"Oh Right..." Logan half smiled
"its okay..." James looked down at the floor as Carlos limped over
"Hey, guys? I'm gunna go and sit down, my leg's starting to hurt" James nodded, kissed him on the forehead and watched as his mother helped him over to the waiting room chairs. In that moment Doctor Phillips walked over, looking at a clipboard. He looked up and saw James and Logan standing there, James with his hand still on Logan's back. He walked over to them with the usual smile on his face
"Hello Logan, James, I suppose you're here to see Kendall?" Logan nodded as he looked up.
"Okay, well before you go in, although he may not be able to respond there is a chance he may be able to subconsciously hear you... so talking to him is a good idea" Logan swallowed and nodded. He would have done that anyway, but at least now he wouldn't look like a complete idiot. Doctor Phillips sighed
"Okay, I'll show you to the room, Mrs Knight has said that she will leave you boys alone for a little while, and she will come back a bit later to see how things are going on" Logan furrowed his brow
"We wouldn't have minded her in there..." He mumbled.
"I know Logan, She insisted though" Logan let out a little sigh and looked at James
"Do you want to go and get Carlos?" James smiled slightly and nodded
"I'll meet you in there in about 20 minutes; Carlos needs to sit down for a while" Logan furrowed his eyebrows again
"You're not coming?"
"Yeah, just in a little while" Logan let out another little sigh
"Okay I'll see you in a minute then" James pulled Logan into a heartfelt hug
"It'll be okay Logie" Logan pulled away from the hug
"That's the third time... Why do you keep calling me that? I mean not that I have a problem with it..." James blushed, Kendall was the only one that usually called him that and James seemed to have picked up the habit.
"I... I don't know..." Logan half smiled as James ruffled his hair
"Good luck" James said before walking back over to Carlos
"You ready?" Doctor Phillips asked. Logan nodded at him and followed him as they walked down the corridors.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Logan stepped into the room carefully and looked at Kendall's unconscious figure. He swallowed hard, trying not to cry as he walked over slowly. Doctor Phillips followed a little bit behind, just to make sure he was okay. Kendall had a couple of tubes attached to him, obviously for food and other stuff to keep him alive. Logan sat in the seat next to Kendall's bed and took his hand gently, tears threatening to fall. Doctor Phillips smiled sympathetically
"I'll leave you two alone if you like" Logan nodded and the doctor left. Logan looked at Kendall and stroked the side of his face gently. He looked so innocent, so peaceful. Logan's breath wavered as he breathed in and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to contain the tears that still threatened to fall. Once he had sorted himself out he looked back at Kendall, his breathing was shallow and gentle, but he was apparently strong enough to keep himself going without help and that was always a good sign.
Logan took a deep breath
"Hey Kendall... I...I really don't know what to say..." Logan flushed bright red, no one else was in the room but he felt a little self conscious
"I don't know if you can hear me but I guess the first thing I should say is I love you..." Logan shook his head and let out a tiny laugh
"I'm so crap at this..." He took another deep breath and looked back at Kendall. "I need you Kendall... I really need you. I miss you so much, its really weird without you, I never thought it would be this hard, and to know it could be at least another week before I can feel your arms around me again, to hear your voice, to even see your smile..." A tear rolled down Logan's cheek as his breath hitched in his throat
"I just don't know how I'm going to do it... and then Camille said that you might not even..." A loud sob escaped Logan's lips as he remembered what she said. However much he wanted to ignore her, and pass it off as jealousy she was right. There was a chance he wouldn't wake up and it killed Logan every second. He rubbed Kendall's hand with his thumb and continued to talk in a tear filled voice
"I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you. It wasn't until all of this that it actually struck me that your not invincible, however much you seem it usually..." Logan heard the hospital door creak open and his cheeks flushed red again.
"Logan, are you okay?" Logan turned to see James stepping in slowly. Logan nodded and wiped his eyes with his free hand. James walked over slowly, Carlos limping behind. Carlos sat next to Logan and patted his shoulder, looking down at Kendall, trying not to cry himself. James sat on the very edge of Kendall's bed and smiled sympathetically at Logan, who was still gripping Kendall's hand, their fingers loosely interlocked.
"It all seems so much more real now..." Carlos squeaked. Logan rested his head on Carlos' shoulder
"Yeah, I know..." James looked down at Kendall's innocent face and could feel the tears coming to his eyes. He didn't realise he was shaking or hear Logan or Carlos when they asked him what was wrong. Carlos walked over to him and pulled him into a hug
"It's okay to cry James..." James just broke down then and there. Tears poured from his eyes, sobs escaped his lips, and he shook from the force of the sobs. Carlos rubbed his back reassuringly as Logan sat there awkwardly unable to do much but hold Kendall's hand and try not to break down any further in tears
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The rest of the day Logan, Carlos and James stayed with Kendall. James and Carlos went off occasionally to get food but Logan refused to move from his side so in the end James agreed to bringing him a coffee and some form of food. Logan was sitting there with his coffee in one hand and Kendall's still in his other. James had gone to the loo and Carlos was asleep in the corner, snoring gently. Logan sighed as he took another sip of his coffee. He leant his head against the wall and closed his eyes, praying that he would be able to fall asleep.
Logan was pulled from his sleepy state by the sound of beeping, it wasn't the slow beeping that he had heard all day, and it was faster. Logan slammed his hand on the emergency call button as soon as he realised what was causing the beeping.