Spidey: I'm back, with troubles. I have no idea how to mail pictures on the PM's, and somebody thought my Avatar was badass and wants it. I feel n00bish for not knowing how to do this. By the way, I started a forumn. It is small now, but give it some time.
Sidney: -cough- n00b -cough-
Spidey: You're mean. Now for the first review.
Skullblade
Jigsaw: How old are you, anyway? Micheal: Damn unicorns and their immunity to flashes. Jason: -pulls out a lightsaber- Freddy: Oh god. Anna is after you. Even I wouldn't let you go through that. But I'm going to anyway. Ash: Nope. Deadites are now extinct. Kakashi: So? I was bored. Sai: They'll all be immortal too. Leatherface: -heals face- Bring it! Dracula: -revives after pulling out bowie knife- Dhampire. I like it. Frankenstein: Help a friend, or continue my quest to pervert everyone who ever existed... Spidey: -sighs- Let's get those little buggers. And Bill s Preston and Theodore Logan want to make an appearance. And if it's alright with you, I'd like to use Danny Deaver eventually in The Lone Ninja.
Jigsaw: Old enough to be your grandfather...on your mother's side of course. Your dad's older than I am. Oh, yeah, for not killing me again, I shall give you the hot sauce. -gives him list of ingrediants that are nearly impossible to find- I'll give you a list of where to find the ingrediants after you prove to me that you don't deserve to die a horrible painful death that causes your testiculars to fall off.
Michael: Are you dissing Rainbow Flower? -pulls out staff-saber- Cause if you were...
Jason: What's that for? If you want me to stop, just ask.
Freddy: Krystal already rescued me. And let me return the favor. -sends him to teletuby plain-
Ash: Yay, but now I've got no purpose in life.
Anko: I'm your purpose Ash! -makes out with him-
Spidey: Why is this story getting so fluffy? We need random violence.
Leatherface: -cuts off Skullblade's arm-
Spidey: Ah, that's better...except for Skullblade, but he's an author, he'll be fine. -gives Skullblade new, robotic arm with lots of unnecessary weapons- I take care of my sensai.
Kakashi: Hmm, your students should be careful when you're bored. Hurting your students for entertainment is unninja-like...spying on them and interfering with their social lives, however...
Sai: Sweet, but I wanna see what heaven is like. I will make it a more perverted place!
Dracula: -hugs Skullblade- Now we've got some catching up to do! -gets stabbed in the heart...again- I'm proud of you, my son. -dies...again-
Van Helsing: -pulls bowie knife out of Dracula- Well sir, I killed it, just like you ordered me to several chapters ago. I would have done it sooner, but I came down with explosive diahrea after my first attempt to kill Dracula, and was in the bathroom until a few minutes ago. Did I miss anything important?
Frankenstein: -is still opening book slowly, while Skullblade has flashbacks of their brief friendship-
Spidey: OK, lets get them! -kills random gremling that was attacking him with a knife- We'll leave the one that chose to remain a mogwai alive though. And Sidney is never aloud to take care of my pets again. -points to Sidney, who is in the time out chair with a dunce cap-
Sidney: -grumbles about the horrible things she would do to the stupid little bastards if they came near her again-
Spidey: I knew it! I've only seen their first movie though.
Bill: That is totally lame.
Ted: Dude, watch the second movie, it's awesome!
Spidey: Whatever you say. And you should wait till his character is developed a bit more. You should also read "Ash's Army Of Ass-Kickin' Buddies" for taste of what he can do, though I haven't revealed his origins yet. Oh, his son is a certain Teen Titans villain named Sl... -interrupted by Danny-
Danny: Don't mention that freakin' failure near me! He's not my son! And you were about to call him by a name he doesn't deserve; I named him Susan, and that's what he's gonna be called till he quits being a weak girly boy. -turns to Spidey- And you didn't even develope my character, even after Ash and -car honks loudly drown out his next to words- me!
Spidey: You'll get your damned developement in the sequel. I'm pretty sure everybody reviewing this except Skullblade and Krystal know who your son is. That makes half the reviewers. However, I won't give them spoilers. Next question:
Krystal
Hinata/Sidney/Clarice: -Blushes- W...what? It's not like I love him or something. -Inner me- LIES! Spidey: -Whimpers- D-d-d-don't you DARE put it on YouTube! Or give it to S&P/or Skullblade! Freddy: -Still in the Shaman King world, growls- Leave him alone you bit! -Teleports in front of him and suddenly knocks Anna out with a hard punch in the face- That's for chasing my friend and also wanting to be your slave-! -Get's kidnap by a evil spirit, Screams loudly at the evil spirit- LET OF GO ME!! -To Freddy- P...please, help me! -The evil spirit takes me to a black tower-
Hinata: Yeah, but it's still cute. You remind me of myself. -gives chainsaw- This was a gift from Ash, use it well.
Spidey: I would never do that! -shifty eyes-
Freddy: Not my friend! -turns to Spidey, dramatic music from Halo starts playing- I need a weapon.
Spidey: OK. -gives him highly explosive missile coupled with a low level nuclear weapon- Bring it back when your done.
Freddy: -starts to leave-
Spidey: whoa, wait a minute, you will need companions for your quest!
Freddy: Why?
Spidey: Cause the mythical hero always needs companions.
Freddy: Well, I'm not gonna argue with RPG cliches.
Spidey: -summons Squall Leonhart and Cloud Strife-
Squall: What am I doing here?
Cloud: I'd ask the same question.
-both introduce themselves and shake hands-
Freddy: Can we please go save Krystal now?
Cloud: Well, I've got nothing better to do.
Squall: I don't know...
Spidey: You'll get to kill thousands of evil monsters.
Squall: Lets go!
Freddy: Finally. -goes on mythical quest to save Krystal-
-About half way to Black Tower-
Freddy: Wait a minute, who said I was a mythical hero?
Squall: Techically, you did when you said you wouldn't argue with RPG cliches.
Freddy: Damn you Spidey! You set me up! -continues on quest-
-back with Spidey-
Spidey: -laughs- I got him to admit to being a hero! Well, we'll have to wait a few chapters to find out how this turns out! Next question:
Rasengan Hokage
Freddy: 1,2, I'm coming for you. 3,4, you better lock the door. 5,6, get a crucifix. 7,8, you better stay up late. 9, 10, I'll kill you now. Jason: Let's go to Camp Crystal Lake! -drives off into the sunset- Ash: So I hear you're marrying Anko? Is this true? Hinata: I've watched you while you showered. Skullblade: You are the greatest author, ever! Spidey: If you can't figure out my identity, you should be shot in the head. -jumps on Godzilla's back, and rides off into the sunset-
-Somewhere between here and the Black Fortress-
Freddy: My "Someone just stole my theme music" senses are tingling.
Cloud: What?
Freddy: Nothing...
-back with Spidey-
Jason: -raises eyebrows- Before she died, my mom said I shouldn't get in cars with strangers...
Spidey: -runs after car- You stole my exit theme!
Jason: -jumps in car without further question- DRIVE!
Ash: Why yes I am! Who told you this, mysterious person who reminds me of someone I know who happens to be a major pervert?
Hinata: Hey SB. I hope Sakura doesn't get angry when I tell her about this. And yes, I did figure out your identity. Spidey's kind of confused though.
Spidey: You remind me of my sensai, so I won't post your name on here, which happened to be in the review. Now if I could just figure out Skullblade's real name... and how did you get a Godzilla Summoning scroll? Mine, Pyro-chans and Skullblade's are the only ones in existance! And I know you're not Pyro-chan, so you must be...me! I knew I had an alternate personality that I didn't know about!
Hinata: -coughs- baka -coughs-
Spidey: -Walks up to Hinata- Do you...want a cough drop? You've been coughing alot lately. Next Question:
The Sacred and Profane
Ash, what ever happened to that girl who liked your story after you got back from the Middle Ages? Freddy, why don't your movies make much money anymore? Dracula, who was better at playing you, Christopher Lee or Bela Lugosi?
Ash: I don't remember said girl...oh the red head? Well, after I finished kissing her, her boyfriend hit me from behind with a baseball bat, then started hitting me with it. Then my boss came out and praised him for "Saving my beloved daughter from this foul man, and that horrible monster!" He went on to make employee of the month. Everyone pretended that this was the case, since he was the bosses nephew. Notice anything seriously wrong with that family yet? Cause it gets worse. The customers would have been reliable witnesses, but they did the smart thing and high tailed it out of there. The rest of this story is not T-rated, so I'll tell you some other time.
Spidey: -taking notes- hee hee, baseball bat...I mean, how horrible! -thinking- I smell a story! -done thinking- Good thing Freddy still has that radio! -turns on radio, and asks question-
Freddy: -on radio- Have you even seen the sequels? I don't remember any of those murders...then again, I don't remember being in a film studio at all, though I remember the events of the first movie, and my fight with Jason...
Spidey: -turns off radio- I think the reason is that it's been sequeled to death, much like Power Rangers.
Dracula: No actor is beautiful enough to play me!
Spidey: Actually they both did a pretty good job, and you aren't all that handsome unless you drink blood...
Dracula: -bares fangs-
Spidey: -doesn't notice- Plus the your a vampire, so the looks are an illusion anyway.
Dracula: -floats toward Spidey-
Spidey: -still doesn't notice- And didn't Van Helsing just kill you a few minutes ago?
Dracula: -stops in mid-air- Freakin' plot holes! -dies-
Spidey: And that's why Skullblade doesn't have any badarse dhampire siblings.
Van Helsing: -laughs at Dracula's death- Yeah, he'd have to survive a nuclear war along with many other vampires and dominate the human race for that to happen! -laughs- Then he might end up with a badarse son!
Spidey: He'd probably name them stupid, like Dee Dee!
Ash: Yeah, he'd probably spend the rest of his life hunting vampires! -laughs-
Spidey: Review, or all that will happen!
Several years later
D:-leaving village, dejectedly- Damn you father! Why couldn't you give me a boys name! I'll kill you along with every other noble! From now on, my name is no longer Dee Dee, but I shall be known, as Dee!!!