Incomplete: Éowyn and Faramir
March 19, 3019
I'm sitting outside this cursed house of healing, leaning against the wall as I sit on this cold bench in the dark of night. My heart is broken; I have no wish to continue living my dreary life. Why should I be allowed to live when all I love is destroyed? Even the one I love didn't wish to love me. He left me; my brother left me, even one I had loved as a father left me. I am alone, alone and broken.
Oh yes, I am not fool enough to think I have been rid of that cursed shadow. I know that it still lingers over me. Though I do not think I shall ever be rid of it, I do not mind it. I've never felt happy so why should I now? Hot tears fall down my cold face as I lose myself to my despair. I cried for I know not how long, I know only that a strange sound drew me from my misery. I had heard the sound of a twig snapping. It frightened me momentarily, what if someone saw me crying? I quickly wiped away my tears and sat still.
"Lady Éowyn, I did not expect to find you, or anyone, in the garden at this late hour." I jumped only a little at the voice of Lord Faramir. I had not really gotten to know him, he was a companion of him but we had barely spoken.
I lifted my head and looked at him. "Nor did I Lord Faramir." He stood as though he wished to sit with me so I nodded my ascent, even though I wished for no company. He sat next to me on the bench.
I leaned back against the bench and looked up at the sky.
"I could not sleep" He said, sighing a little. I resisted the urge to smile as he touched his temples in a comedic attempt to make me grin. I would not give up my grief so easily.
"Nor could I my Lord." I answered quietly , looking away.
He seemed unable to accept the fact that I just wanted to wallow in my sorrows. He insisted on talking, even if I refused to. "These gardens are one of the few things that can calm my nightmares. Since I was a child I would wander down here at night and just walk around. When I was very young my mother brought me down here after I'd had my first nightmare. She said that plants were natural dream catchers, that they had the ability to alleviate fear and leave you feeling calm." I admired the truly beautiful garden as he spoke, noting for the first time the brightness of the blooming flowers.
I looked at him and tilted my head. "Indeed? I too have always found walking in gardens to be peaceful, tis nice to know why." I paused for a moment, wondering how to phrase my question. I decided to just be direct, it's what I am best at.
"Did you have a nightmare? Is that why you were walking?" Why was I talking to him? Why had I asked that question? Why was he fascinating to me?
"Yes milady, I had quite a nightmare. I have found it hard to sleep the last few nights."
I nodded my head and leaned back against the bench, looking up at the stars. "I too have been plagued by nightmares." as I spoke my cursed hand trembled slightly. Why would the nightmares not leave me? Was it not enough that every waking hour was spent in sadness, could I not even escape it in sleep?
He arose suddenly and quickly turning to me. "I shall be back in just a moment milady." He ran off into the garden and I felt immensely sadder. It was like his presences had warmed me, oddly lighting my world. Not as Aragorn had, more like the light of the moon on a cold winter night.
He sat down on the bench again and handed me a yellow flower. "Rock Rose it helps to ease ones troubles, specifically fear." I gently rubbed the sprig between my hands. I was carefully not to damage its shape made of velvet-like leaves. It was a beautiful flower and had an incredible aroma. Oddly it lightened my spirit and made me wish to smile. I instantly loved the strange little flower. "I've always found the smell of it very calming."
I lifted the flower to my face and inhaled its intoxicating aroma. "Tis a lovely flower." I smiled slightly, showing only a little of the happiness I was beginning to feel. "I do feel better." I looked over at him and had to resist smiling wider. He was grinning like a little boy. "Thank you Faramir."
Perhaps Aragorn was not the only one who was able to heal.
A/N: This scene takes place in chapter 42 of A New Fellowship of the Ring I called it.
This song inspired this fic… It's by Sanctus Reel and is called "I'm Not Alright"
If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
The "cool" is just how far we have to fall
And I'm not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess
I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You, it leads me to you
Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only You are there to lead me on.
'Cause honestly, I'm not that strong.
I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You
It leads me to You
Closer to You
I'm not alright, I'm not alright
I'm not alright
... that's why I need You.