A/N: First off, I'd like to thank EmeraldandAmethyst, wolfawaken, Menea111, Neko-kun, spiritmind675, and AshleyTangerine for the kind reviews! You all have made me so happy! Secondly, I'm sorry for posting this so late. I know every author gives their excuse as to why, but my laptop hates me! I don't know why! I feed it, bathe it, and tuck it in every night! So why! Thirdly, sorry again for this silly fanfic! Anyway, thanks again for the reviews! Oh and because it was requested...

Tsuzuki: -Glomps EmeraldandAmethyst into Hisoka creating a love sandwich- Heee!

Hisoka: Ack! Oh God! Nooo! x_x

Tsuzuki: Mmmm! Tasty! X3

Chapter Three

"So, do you want the phoenix on your upper back or lower back?"

Hisoka nervously gripped the sides of the futon and mulled over the idea. 'The lower back would hit the point home a little more...Plus I could wear a more revealing shirt so it wouldn't go unnoticed...' Hisoka harbored some ideas of how to be even more extreme. True, he wasn't fond of even the slightest bit of pain, but he had to do this to get back at him. He perspired at the notion of what his fellow employees would think of this outrageous turn of events and maybe even label him unfit for being a shinigami, but just about everyone he worked with was eccentric to a degree so why couldn't he be...Just a little?

"Hey kid? Did you hear me?" The tattoo artist held the vibrating pin dangerously close to the shinigami's pale flesh as if he would decide himself. "You have nice skin. Are you sure you want to do thi-"

"Lower. My lower back please. And after that I'd like my belly button and tongue pierced. Do you do hair as well?"

"Whoa kid! Slow down! Are you sure? If you don't mind me asking, why this all of a sudden? You look like you're from a distinguished family. Your parents are going to be pissed!"

"Yes well, let's just say I want to get my rebellious side out of the way."

"All right, but there's no going back..."

'Heh heh. That's what you think!'

Hisoka readied himself for what was about to come. He tried to think of happy thoughts like bunnies hopping about in a flowery meadow. Like the joy of spotting a double rainbow. Like finally telling Muraki "No, you don't bother me anymore, n00b". Like swapping out Muraki's wardrobe with Pinkhouse dresses. Like stealing Muraki's brother's head and turning it into his own, private snow globe. Yes, Hisoka much liked the last one, but soon hissed as the vibrating pin dug into his skin. He moaned as he felt the colorful ink fill his flesh and mixed with his blood.

"You okay kid?"

"I've felt worse. Don't worry."

~O~

"You gotta whack 'em in the yard!"

"Ooooh!" Tsuzuki clapped and payed close attention.

"And that's how I get rid of the weeds in my flower bed..."

"That's nice and all Terazuma, but weren't you going to help me with my problem?"

"You've got E.D.?"

Flustered and embarrassed, Tsuzuki was about to storm out of the break-room until Terazuma halted him by his shirt collar.

"Lemme go! You're just making fun of me!" Terazuma and Tsuzuki were obviously rivals from the start, but this was just too mean. He was desperate enough to confide in Terazuma for help and now he was just being toyed with. He flailed his arms and kicked his feet.

"With that attitude you'll never make the kid understand your true feelings." In all honesty the man had an immense sense of pleasure in the fact that the master of twelve shikigami needed his advice. Here was something else Tsuzuki couldn't do on his own. The man was deemed hopeless from day one and couldn't even keep a partner. Even Tatsumi took a crack at him, but couldn't stand to work along side him. Now Tsuzuki needed his help with his love life? This was too good to be true.

"Then, you really will help me?"

"Well, I don't know much about guys, but uh...I hear poetry works well with the ladies..."

"Haha! You sound so sure!" Maybe advice from Terazuma was counterproductive? The guy obviously lacked experience with women in the first place. Besides, he needed help with a man.

"Sure I'm sure! Poetry is the art of compare and contrast. It doesn't need to rhyme, but that tends to help one remember it. It's like a song so it needs to be catchy. In the boy's case he may want something a little more upbeat rather than angsty. In fact, I could give you a few examples from my journal! Be right back!"

He was running out of people to help him and needed to finish his story soon. If not by today, at least tomorrow. Tsuzuki sighed and tried not to lose hope. He leaned forward till his forehead hit a cabinet door and he just stood there, depressed. He let his hands rest on the counter top and allowed them to run over the smooth, cold surface until his right hand hit something soft and warm. Gradually, he poked the matter and noted it was also sticky. He peeked from the corner of his eye and pulled his head from the cabinet. Once his eyes came in contact with what it was, his eyes nearly bugged out.

DOUGHNUT.

~O~

"Have you seen my journal? I always leave it in my desk drawer..." He feverishly looked through every drawer and glanced up at his partner, Wakaba, for an answer.

"Ohhhh! You mean your diary? Yeah, Watari ran off with it."

"...AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tatsumi peeked his head from his office after saving what he had finished thus far of the story. He scanned the vicinity and attempted to find the source of all the alarm. Once he realised, he ducked back into his office and locked the door knowing full well what the issue was. "Why? Why do I have to work with all these idiots?" 'I've helped Tsuzuki enough and this has already passed the border of insane. Time to get the Hell out of here!' And with that, the secretary left, hurriedly. But was interrupted by the older Gushoshin brother, of course. 'Now what?'

Ah, Tatsumi-san! Glad I caught you. I need to speak with you about the due date of the new, new, new library."

"Oh yes. Well, it'll be complete in about three months. Eager to get back to work?"

"Well, there's that, but my brother and I need a place to sleep so we spoke with Chief Konoe and he gave us direct orders to bunk in your office."

'Why, why, whhhhy?' Tatsumi proceeded to bang his head on the clock out machine.

~O~

The room was large and half lit. Computer screens flickered on and off to make the room appear even more eerie. Watari sat with his legs crossed as two women approached him and bowed at his feet. His eyes were unreadable due to the glare in his glasses.

"Did you leave the doughnut?"

"Yes, all is going according to plan. We were undetected." The woman with shorter hair announced.

Watari grinned and stood up immediately. "This is great! Now not even Tsuzuki can stand in my way! Bwahahahaha! To Hisoka's apartment!"

"YAAAY~! HISOKA-CHAN~!"

TBC

~Extra~

The amazing Seiichirou Tatsumi Part Three

Tsuzuki: Hisoka, I love you the way you are!

Hisoka: What are you going on about?

Tsuzuki: What has yet to come...

Tatsumi: No! There will be no references to the story above! Ahem, doesn't anyone have any questions to ask of me?

Tsuzuki: Uhhh...

Saya: Oh! I have one! How's that money tree of yours coming along?

Tatsumi: I'm so glad you asked! Actually, it's just a sapling, but soon it'll be a TREEmendous money maker!

Tsuzuki: Pffft! XD

Yuma: You mean that money maker over there?

003: -Tugs on the remaining root and devours it-

Tatsumi: ...Thanksgiving is coming up soon...Heh heh heh.

Watari: Nuuuuuuuuu!

TBC