Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Twilight.

11-14-11 EDIT.

Chapter 6 - damn, you really ARE a pedophile

The next day was a Monday, and so I trudged downstairs in my pajamas to get breakfast and make lunch before going back to change. While I was putting together a panini for Ludwig's lunch - not because I cared for his well-being, okay - the doorbell rang. Ludwig, who was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee, went to get it; he called to me and said that Antonio Carriedo was here.

I blinked, and he continued. "He says he'll drive you to school today, so -" And then he stopped on his own bloody accord, not because I had suddenly remembered that Antonio was a vampire and let out a blood-curdling shriek, okay?

He winced and sat back down. "Just telling you."

And no, I did not dash upstairs like the devil was after me so that I could change out of my pajamas. I merely wanted to look good for school.

Five minutes later, in jeans and a green t-shirt, I grabbed Antonio's jacket off my desk and returned downstairs, adding some finishing touches to Ludwig's lunch before picking up my house keys and screeching - uh, shouting a goodbye.

Antonio stood outside, whistling lightly under his breath. He looked - well, great as ever, I guess, in slim-cut jeans and an Abercrombie shirt. As I locked the door behind me, I felt his grin boring into my back, and knew he was beaming like I was the cutest thing he'd ever seen; I flipped him off as I turned.

I threw him back his jacket and he caught it with one hand, opening the passenger door for me with the other. The car today was this gorgeous red Mercedes - the one Liz usually drove.

"You have to let me take this car for a spin sometime," I said, sliding into the passenger seat and stroking the dashboard. "It reminds me of a car my mom has..."

Antonio turned to me with a wide grin, and waggled his eyebrows as he offered, "Sure, if you let me kiss you again."

I sneered. Looks like I'd have to wait till I could return to the garage at Mom's place.

Antonio drove fast, and we were at the school in a matter of minutes.

Getting out of the car, though...

I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, getting out of the car with Antonio - and feeling 300-something pairs of wide eyes on me - was more embarrassing than driving into my school at Phoenix in a $200,000 car, or getting caught by Mom doing some not-parent-friendly activities. You know?

Yeah. It was pretty ox.

I noticed Lieve's eyes on me, too, two wide emerald orbs following me as I got out of Antonio's car. For some reason, the dumbass vampire didn't seem fazed at all, and he smiled fondly at me as I walked around the car to meet him.

"Everyone's staring, bastard," I hissed under my breath.

"Well," he pondered, wrapping an arm around me in an iron grip too strong for me to squirm out of, "I'm already going to hell, so I might as well just go all the way." Antonio leaned in and kissed my cheek and everyone else stared in shock as I reached up to shove his face away, blushing furiously; bastard grinned like there was no tomorrow, and I would've punched him if I didn't think his abs would break my hand.

Lieve made a sort of half-hearted smile as we passed, and I managed one back.

When Antonio pushed open the door, I heard a loud wolf whistle from behind us. We turned, only to see the other members of the Kirkland-Bonnefois family, snickering at us from across the parking lot - the albino and Liz especially. Liz winked at me and lowered her white camera-phone, still grinning. It took all my strength - and desire to keep my limbs, that was pretty important - to not flip her off in response.

Of course, the small population at Forks High School meant that rumors and gossip circled faster than sex pictures did online, because by lunch, everyone who wasn't staring before was staring now. Liz bounced over to me and grabbed my hand, but I shook it off and hurried to the safe zone - AKA, Lieve's table. They hopefully wouldn't cause a scene in school.

Antonio, however, was not Liz. Right as I was sitting down, he came up out of nowhere and hugged me tightly enough to pick me up off the floor. I made this pained, choked sound, and he let me down, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and steering me towards an empty table on the other end of the cafeteria. Other people gave us a wide berth, girls giggling and guys looking as though, if they got too close, our - uh, Antonio's gay would rub off on them.

I ate my pasta slowly, watching Antonio to make sure he didn't try to rape me while I was preoccupied. Instead, he reached over at one point and grabbed my fork, taking a piece of tomato. I scowled and didn't stop him, but there was no way in hell I was going to let him feed me. He pouted, face falling so dramatically that I almost felt bad, and then - just to make him stop that horrid depressing look - opened my mouth for him to slip a pasta-wrapped fork inside. I scraped the noodles off with my teeth and chewed reluctantly, glaring and more embarrassed than before.

What? There is quite a big difference between letting a guy hug you and letting him feed you. They're both equally gay, but still.

Then he started tracing random circles on the back of my hand, while staring at me with this I THINK YOU'RE THE MOST ADORABLE THING SINCE SLICED BREAD look in his eyes, and I have to say - that is where I draw the line.

"Oh, you look like a tomato!" he said.

I stared at him, dumbstruck, for a second or two. And no, I didn't make an indignant huff, because only girls do that!

"Stupid idiot," I scowled as the bell rang. He grinned and leaned up, kissing me on the nose before I could properly get away.

Uggggh, PDA. I wanted to die of embarrassment, especially as I saw the tell-tale white camera flash and turned just in time to catch the Belorussian girl stowing something away in her bag.

A period later was Biology, and I think that it would have turned out as any other class that day had Mr. Z not had a weird sort of leave-your-personal-life-in-your-car idea about school. Thanks to his scariness, nobody asked a single question about me and/or Antonio.

Which, of course, meant that I could use the hour-and-a-half-long period to probe about the Spaniard's life while under the pretext of homework.

"So, tell me," I demanded, tapping my fingernails against the lab tabletop as Antonio returned from the front desk with the needed materials for the lab. He stared at me expectantly, eyes wide in question. "You said yesterday that you were old as sin, and I want to know how much of a pedophile you are before we start dating."

His topaz eyes lit up.

"We can start dating?" he asked in awe, dropping the papers on the desk and grabbing my face and kissing me all over.

Mr Zwingli shrieked, "UNGLUE YOUR FACES THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME GOD -" And I, really not wanting to know how many other metal meter sticks the crazy Swiss had in store, shoved Antonio off of me.

"Oh, mi querido tomate!" cried Antonio, ecstatic. "Of course, of course I'll tell you!"

I told him to stop screaming. People were staring.

With a wide smile, he leaned into the desk and motioned for me to do the same thing. Thankfully, he didn't try to kiss me again, but rather started working on the lab and whispering his life story to me as we did the experiment.

"So I can't tell you the exact date," he started, "but it was a pretty long time ago. It was - hmm, perhaps the tenth century?" I choked on my gum.

"T-the tenth century?"

"Yep. So...I'm, uh, at least a thousand years older than you."

"That's wonderful." I swallowed hard, struggling to force my gum out of my throat. "Continue." Even though I really, really wanted to ask how he could still have a Spanish accent after a thousand years.

Antonio reached over for the scalpel. We were dissecting pig fetuses, by the way; there wasn't any blood or else Antonio might have blown a fuse and started eating everything in sight. "It was so long ago. All I remember is that my older sister Leonora raised me, in the area that's now Barcelona. My father left my mother, and my mother died in childbirth." He smiled fondly, but I wasn't sure if he was smiling about his mother's death or about his sister. "When Leonora got married, I was nine, and I had a nephew - adorable little Nicolas.

"I don't know what I should tell you!" he admitted with a sheepish laugh. "Nothing too interesting happened to me. I was real empathetic, apparently, which was carried over into telepathy. The important part is that one day, someone in our village found a body completely drained of blood, and the men went to investigate. Leonora begged me not to go, but I had to. We split up, and when I was on my own I tripped and broke my wrist - funny, because I was never clumsy. But the smell attracted a vampire, who proceeded to bite me. His name was Francis, and he said he'd turned me because he simply wanted someone to travel with."

"Wait, Francis as in your parent Francis?" I blurted out. "He was the one who -?"

"Who turned me, yes," said Antonio with a smile. "He'd been a vampire for decades before me."

All I could think was, why are they so old?

"So he bit you, then," I stated. Antonio nodded. "Does the venom hurt?"

"The worst I've ever felt," he confirmed cheerfully. "Francis said I screamed nonstop for the first few hours." I twitched a little, but he carried on.

"Like I said, I can't remember too much about my life before then. Changing was...kind of like a fire that burned away all my memories. I never had a good memory, anyway. And I only know what I know because, after the turning period, I returned to see my sister one last time. Francis told me that people like us weren't accepted, that we'd have to keep moving in order to stay alive. Not that anyone could kill us, but Francis says when he turned me I was too freaked out to explain that we were indestructible. He went with me to say goodbye to my sister, who thought I had been cursed and cast me out."

"And you never saw your sister again?"

"Nope. But that's okay, I think she survived just fine without me." Antonio laughed. "So a long time passed. We traveled a lot, all over the world, to dozens of other covens and pairs and the occasional vampire on their own. But Francis and I have so much in common, we were never bored or tired of the other, and whenever we did fight we usually patched it up quickly."

I frowned. "Did you guys ever...you know?"

He blinked. "Ever what?"

Oh, God, this guy was an idiot. Living for a millenia and not knowing what I was talking about?

I made a rolling hand gesture, as if that would get my question into his head.

Antonio still looked confused.

"Bastard! Ever do him?"

And for a second, I thought he didn't understand that, either. Then he said, "Oh! Oh, oh, no. Nonononono!" And duh, obviously the smile on my face was from knowledge that he didn't have the backbone to jump somebody. Not because I was happy that he hadn't slept with his father-figure. Duhhhh.

"Once, when we were in Eastern Europe," he went on, "we came across a girl. She was -"

I stopped him here with a scowl. "I don't care about your siblings, they can tell me themselves. I asked about you, didn't I?"

And he looked so happy that I felt, oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that, because now he's going to profess love for me, real loud.

Then the bell rang.

I had no idea where the time'd gone.

"No, finish your story, dammit!" I grumbled as he stood, regarding me thoughtfully.

...hah! That idiot, thinking?

Antonio cleaned up the lab we had somehow finished, and turned to me. "I wanna take you somewhere," he said with a grin. "It's not too far. I think you'll like it."

I watched him warily, but then I shrugged. "Sure."

After all, if he wanted to tell me his life story so badly, he could. It's not like I was interested or anything. Where would you get that idea?

The place Antonio took me was rather off the beaten track.

He had switched cars with his albino brother after school, taking the black Jeep instead of his red Mercedes. That right there probably should have made me worry about what the guy was going to do to me - uh, where he was going to take me, I mean, but I was too awed by the Jeep.

What? I like cars.

So he'd driven down the highway, refusing to tell me anything more until we reached this mysterious destination. He turned off at a dirt path, following it down all the way to a dead end. He stopped the car and got out, jumping around to my side and pulling me out in his arms, and, in a very déjà vu-like moment - I kicked for him to let me down, which he refused.

And then I looked down and saw the mud.

Obviously, gremlins wrapped my arms get wrapped around his neck.

Antonio didn't seem worried about stomping in the mud and ruining both his shoes and his pant hems, but I was not of the same mind. He looked happy when I told him to keep carrying me.

Ten minutes of hiking later, we arrived at a clearing. The trees circling were tall and leafy, and the overcast sky was clearly visible, but the interesting thing was that - just in this area - flowers, flowers of all kinds, grew on the ground. Everywhere else was just moss and weed - not that kind of weed, you druggie - and an assortment of other gross, squishy, pant-leg-destroying crap.

"Isn't it nice?" Antonio smiled.

I nodded. "Did you plant it?"

"Yeah, me and Liz!" he chirped. "The flowers tend to use up all the rainwater, so it's dryer than the rest of the forest." He dropped me to my feet and took my hand, striding into the middle of the clearing and sitting down. He patted the ground next to him.

I stared, disgusted.

I guess he took it another way, because he beamed and his eyes sparkled and he reached for my hands again, pulling me into his lap.

And the birds in the surrounding trees left because they wanted to, not cuz I screamed so loudly that they were scared shitless.

Antonio had me sitting with my back pressed against his chest and his chin rested lightly on the top of my head. I...guess it was comfortable. Sort of.

He still had our fingers intertwined, his arms wrapped around me, but I squirmed my hands loose and absently started stroking the velvety skin of his palms. His skin was freezing, but my sweater kept me warm; he really was hard to the touch, like diamond with a layer or five of silk draped on top. I couldn't see him smiling, but I heard it in his voice as he kept talking. I had to have him remind of where we were.

And no, it's not because he smelled so good that I was distracted, okay?

"Umm...well, if you only wanted my history..." he trailed off, thinking a bit. "I'll have to skip out about eight or nine hundred years, then."

Hearing him talk about centuries as though they were seconds made me twitch a bit.

"By early fifteenth century, the family was already what it is now. Francis was the oldest, of course, and he turned me and Nat; sometime in the thirteenth century, though, he left, and we didn't see him for a hundred years or so. Nat and I had a thing, though, so it didn't matter too much."

"Good thing or bad thing?"

He fidgeted. "Good thing. It was pretty short, though - just like a year."

"You tapped her? For a year? Damn. She's pretty hot, I'll give you that."

"You aren't mad?"

I scoffed. Like I could begrudge someone for something like that. "Hell no. Do I look like a prude to you?" I'd only be pissed if he said he'd been banging guys before me.

Uh, I mean -

Laughing, Antonio pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Anyway, around that time, Francis wasn't with us. Occasionally he dropped by, usually with another vampire or two in tow. He brought Gilbert first, and half a century later he brought Liz and Roderich, but he never told us where he spent the rest of his time." Antonio paused. "Not until he came back with Arthur, anyway. Arthur was a weirdo even then - guy said he could see fae and creatures of the earth and stuff. But Francis loved him, and so did everyone else, and he grew on us. He's like our surrogate mother now."

"Did you spend any time in Spain?" I asked.

"Yeah. During the Spanish Inquisition, I frequented the dungeons." I twisted to see him; he was smiling wistfully, eyes distant. "And I was on a journey or two to South America."

"But when you were in the sun? You said you...sparkle?"

Then, as if we were sitting in a cheesy chick flick, the sun came out.

And I swear, those damn birds are just pussies, flying away all the time. It's not like I screamed again, no.

Antonio laughed at my reaction, and lay on his back so he could reach up and undo the buttons on his shirt. I was amazed; when he said he sparkled, I thought he meant like a glow. But this...

"Do you fucking bathe in glitter glue?" I choked out, raising a hand to cover my eyes as the sun lit his skin up as though he'd been rolled in glass shards or made of diamond or something like that.

Antonio had unbuttoned his shirt by now, and he pulled it off. I reached out and touched the skin of his chest before I realised, oh, hey, I'm touching him in a perverted manner while sitting in a perverted way.

Yeah, because I had turned to see him and ended up straddling his hips.

So I jumped to my feet, face red.

"Huh?" Antonio sounded confused. "I can't hear what you're thinking...what are you thinking?"

"If I throw a tomato at you, vampire bastard, will you still sparkle under the sauce?"

He laughed and lay on his back on the clearing ground. "Come back over here, won't you?" he asked. I scowled but moved back, sitting on his shirt to keep my own from getting ruined by the mud. Antonio rolled onto his side so he could look at me easier.

"What are you thinking?"

"Huh?" I looked up from where I'd been staring at his chest. In the space of my thoughts Antonio had moved closer and was now sitting Indian-style, just an arm's length away from me.

"I can't hear your thoughts," said Antonio with a smile. "It's infuriating! Can you tell me?"

I stared at him, one eye twitching.

"That you sparkle too much."

Then all of a sudden, a shiver ran through my body and I jerked back, biting at my lip before I knew what had happened. Then it happened again, and Antonio said, "Whoa, Lovi, what does this do?"

"H-hey!" I rasped hoarsely, trying to swat his hand away and cover my violated hair curl. "D-don't touch that!"

"But why not?" asked Antonio, oblivious as ever as he reached out. I used my free hand to push him away, but he caught my wrist gently and set it down next to me. Taking my other hand away from my curl, he held both of my wrists in one hand, and I cursed his inhuman strength as his free hand reached back towards my face.

"A-ah!" I hissed as he flicked the curl.

"What is it?" he asked, a shit-eating grin spreading over his face. "Why's Lovi blushing?"

"D-don't call me that, bastard!" My face burned, and then I realised that it must be raining, because there was water on my face.

It's not like I was crying out of shame or anything, duh.

Antonio jerked his hand back, eyes inquisitive. "I'm hurting you, aren't I? I'm sorry!" He let go of my wrists and watched sheepishly as I lifted my shirt to dry my face. His shit-eating grin hadn't faded yet, and I had the feeling he knew exactly what he'd done to me.

"Sorry," he apologized. I sighed, exasperated, and curled my knees up so I could rest my head on my knees, a makeshift barrier between me and the creepy vampire trying to molest me.

"Can I try something?"

I arched a brow and lifted a hand protectively over my hair curl.

"Not that! I already hurt my poor little Lovi." He reached out and carefully held the sides of my face, smiling and pulling me close enough that I was jerked into a crawling position. I opened my mouth to argue, and he kissed me full on the lips.

When we pulled apart a moment later, I was still in shock, and he was grinning giddily. He pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him, and wrapped his arms around my waist as he kissed me again.

And I swear to fucking God, it was the gremlins that pushed us over.

All of a sudden, I felt a raindrop on the top of my head.

No, really. I'd been a bit too...absorbed...to notice the sun cloaked by clouds, and it had started to rain. Antonio looked up and I opened my eyes.

"Fuck!" I swore. Antonio was on his feet before I'd even finished the word, and he picked him up, swinging me onto his back and leaving his shirt lying on the ground. We were back at the car before the rain really thickened, but when we had gotten back on the highway the water was pouring down. Antonio was still shirtless.

I only noticed because I was wondering if he was cold. Not because I was staring at his abs. Duh.

"When did you all come to the States?" I asked him, watching the passing forest.

"We have homes all over the world, in cloudy, rainy areas," he said. "We were in Alaska for a while before we came down here."

"And when you were gone?"

"I went back up north to a couple others like us. 'Vegetarian' vampires, anyway," replied Antonio. "Three sisters, Valentina, Renata, and Camila. I don't know why, but they keep touching me...it's rather frightening."

God, he really was an idiot.

"But I've been waiting for you, Lovi," he said, a sincere smile lighting up his angled face. "I've been waiting for you for more than a thousand years."

I felt oddly flattered.

Ludwig wasn't home yet, and the clock only said 7:30PM. I pawed through the fridge for the stuff I needed to make fried chicken - hey, just cuz I'm Italian doesn't mean I don't eat anything but pasta and pizza, dammit - and, a few minutes later, I dropped the chicken into the pan with hot oil. I pulled my neglected homework out of my bag and sat at the kitchen table to do some of it.

Or try to do some of it, anyway. I got up after a few minutes to check the chicken; it wasn't done, but I couldn't think so I went and cleaned up the kitchen. I'd managed only a few math problems - and because I was tired and the chicken smelled amazing, not because Antonio kept popping up in my mind. I sighed and put my half-finished work away, deciding I'd just copy from someone later. Another check, five minutes after the first, showed the chicken to be cooked, so I pulled it out with tongs and set it on a plate I'd covered with a folded paper towel. I set the pan of hot oil into the oven, to let it cool.

Some quick math told me that it was morning in Italy, so I decided to give Mom a call.

He answered after three rings. "Lovi!" he said happily. "How have you been, mia cara?"

"Good," I replied. "How's Italy?"

"Cold!" said Mom. "But it's nice, I think. How's Forks? How's Luddy?"

"Ugh. Mom. Please don't call him that."

Mom laughed cheerfully.

"He's okay, I guess. Better since I showed up and started cooking for him."

"You're taking care of him?" Mom sounded ecstatic.

I flushed. "N-no, I'm just - I make food for myself, so why not for him too? Stop judging me, Mom!"

"V-vee! I wasn't judging you!" wailed Mom, and I sighed.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, Mom."

"So, do you miss me enough to want to move to Venice?"

I swallowed. "Actually...Forks, it's growing on me." When Mom was silent, I added, "Not in a good way! It's like a tumour on my heart, you know?"

"Oooh! Does a giiiirl have anything to do with that?"

How could Mom sound so young? Damn. I'm 20-something years younger than him but I sound like his older brother. "...uh...well, a boy, actually."

"Taking after your momma, I see?"

I facepalmed. "Y-yeah." Poking my chicken, I decided it was cool enough to eat. "Ah, Mom, I'm gonna have dinner. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yep! Ti amo!"

"Ti amo," I responded before hanging up the house phone and walking over to grab my plate from where I'd left it, by the stove.

A few hours later, I woke with a jolt. I slept in only a t-shirt, because years of sleeping without pants alienated me to that idea; I got up to go to the bathroom, and on my way back I glanced out the window and noticed the police cruiser in the driveway. The clock on my table said 2AM, so I climbed back into bed and reached to turn off my light.

Then I saw a figure by my desk, and grabbed the closest thing next to me, prepared to lob it at his head.

"Lovi!" said Antonio cheerfully.

Wait, what? I lowered the alarm clock slowly, barely believing my eyes.

"Antonio?" I managed in a hissed whisper. "What the fuck are you doing in my room?" The window was shut, and it latched inside; there was no way he could've gotten in without me hearing. "How'd you even get in?"

"The window," he said innocently.

I stared at him, horrified. "H-how? It's locked!"

"Sí, it is," he said, pushing off the wall and slowly stepping closer. I watched him warily.

"Um, why are you here?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"I like watching you sleep."

...ooookay then. "You come in every night to...watch me sleep?"

"Yep!"

"Don't you need to sleep?"

"No," he laughed. "We don't sleep."

"Like, ever?" Weird. So much free time, if you didn't sleep.

"Never. But if I had to choose between sleeping and watching you sleep, I'd rather watch you!" That sounded a little more than vaguely creepy.

"Thanks? I think?"

Antonio lay down next to me, and I rolled over to glare at him. He beamed and opened his arms; I regarded him icily until he moved forward himself, pulling me into a strong hug and holding me close. My face pressed against his chest, and I shivered.

"Fuck, you're cold," I hissed.

"Sorry," he said with an apologetic smile.

I was silent for a while, and then Antonio started humming, reaching up to stroke my hair.

Fearing a repeat of earlier, I slapped his hand away and rolled over.

A/N: ...remember in the end bit, Romano doesn't have pants on. -winkwink-

notes on the edit. Originally, I had specific details that corresponded to the dates on which each country was settled, but then I changed it. Look at the remade ch7 for more details. :)