Disclaimer: Nope~
A/N: AAAAGH 227 REVIEWS? Oh my god, guys, I love you all so much :'DDD thank you all for reading!
So this...I'm so sorry that it's late ; ; I meant to get it up last week, but the days passed so quick and I forgot to finish, and was lying in bed Thursday night (my granny takes away my laptop at 10PM :( ) when I remembered all, "OH SHI-"
And so, to try and win you back over, I tacked on the omake of last chapter, which is the first bolded title hither. It's the -drumroll- dancing scene, from Hungary's POV. ;D
Baseball was changed to soccer, because really, Spain in a football jersey is much sexier than in a frickin baseball outfit. y/y? /shot
I wrote this entire chapter by hand over a six hour drive. Took me two hours xDDD Austria's a little OOC, but that's just because I need to get him and Romano on good terms. ;D
The answer from last chapter - quota = Prussia and Austria providing the girls with a set amount of PrAus per week.
This version isn't edited, but I'll print it for Lily to do on Monday. Sorry!
OMAKE 2: At Least I'm Psychic
God, this is great~ being psychic is totally wonderful, because then - even when certain brothers don't call and warn that they're bringing over their too-cute-for-words lovers and by consequence don't give enough time for certain young ladies to set up proper cameras - I could see Lovino calling his father and telling him that he was going to visit his boyfriend's family. Nat helped me set up the cameras before we went down to cook. Ehh, it was a bit of a pity that Lovi'd already ate, but that's fine. Gil has to clean up, anyway.
Actually, I do wish that I could go watch the streaming video, but Arthur seems to have some weird idea that families should all sit together till cleaning is done. And Gil is probably dragging this out purposefully. That bastard, he knows how much I like seeing the live stuff!
Ugh. Douchelord.
Well, at least we've got super hearing. From where we are downstairs, I can hear every last motion going on upstairs (and see in my mind's eye the ones that I can't hear!). Lovi's really adorable, all flustered and totally the perfect uke; the look on Nat's face shows that she agrees completely with my sentiments.
But, yeah. Nat also prefers to see the real-time videos, but we all decided that, since he made the mess, Gil was to clean up. Unfortunately, even with the whole amazing vampire mind-cataloguing thing, he's really bad at cleaning. Anyone else would've had it done thirty seconds in, but it's been two minutes and he's still trying to put away the pans.
Yeah, he's just that stupid.
And - whoaaa, is that Lovi? Oh, it is. Man, that's really fast...how long has he been dancing? The guitar sounds like a tarantella, is he doing it on his own?
DAMN YOU GILBERT.
Gil at least has the decency to whistle at the fast pattering of Lovino's feet against the floor of Antonio's room.
"Damn, that's fast even for me," Herr Albino proclaims in awe, tilting his head up to hear a bit more clearly.
"Everything's fast for you," Roddy comments dryly, fixing his glasses and crossing his legs daintily.
Gil snickered and leaned his weight against the island in the middle of the kitchen, shooting a leer at my darling boy. I can hear his perverted joke before he makes it. "Mein Liebe, want to elaborate on that?"*
Okay, I take back my previous statement. Lovi might be adorable, but nobody's as cute as my Roddy~! If he were human, he'd be flushing.
Nat and I share a glance, and she says, "If you two go on that way, perhaps you can reach your quota...?"
Gil looked all for it, and even though he's stoic, I'm pretty sure that even Roddy wants to at least cuddle me again(I can't say that just cuddling would be enough for Gil, he and Nat are damned sex addicts. The 12-step kind that makes living with 'em unbearable.) but the quota's far too important. And besides, worst comes to worst, Nat and I've got loads of choices (including, but not limited to, one another), but those two have nobody but their hands and each other~ and a full box of condoms. Because even though we can't get preggers, the feeling of certain white liquids dripping down your legs is rather disgusting. Not when it's on my darling Roddy, though...mmmm...
Oh? What's that...the music changed? When?
Nat shoots a terrified look at me. If Tonio had put on the tango music, then -
"No, before you ask, you may not leave until Gilbert is finished," Arthur interrupts our mental despair icily.
"Ебать! Just this once, please?" Nat pleads, turning to Arthur.* God, I already know he's gonna refuse, that bastard.
Arthur glares at her and straightens out the home design magazine he holds.
"Francis!" I screech, turning to him and about to beg him instead.
He raises his hands helplessly. "Sorry, mon ange. My hands are tied."*
"GILBERT, HURRY THE FUCK UP. I DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS!"
He grins cruelly.
"BASTARD. YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE BASTARD FROM HELL."
~later~
The video was fucking sexy.
They started making out halfway through.
[*German - "My darling..."
*Belorussian - "Fuck!"
*French - "...my angel."]
Chapter 8 - it's called soccer, dammit!
Two days after I met the family, Antonio called (a word which here means, 'broke in through my window while I was sleeping and stared at me until I woke up') and asked if I would like to go with them to play soccer the next afternoon.
"Soccer?" I asked, arching a brow. "Vampires play soccer? Since when?"
He grinned. "I love football and Liz saw a thunderstorm coming. That's the only time we can play."
"I'm no good at -" (Well, actually, that's a lie. I'm pretty damn good, but I don't think human skill's got anything on damn sparkly leeches.)
"You don't have to play~ you'll be ref with Roddy!" he exclaimed.
"Guess he's too prissy to dirty his pants," I scoffed. Or maybe his ass was too sore, I thought as Antonio smiled knowingly.
"So you'll come?" asked Antonio hopefully.
I scowled. "Sure. But not cuz I like you or anything, you bastard."
Fuckdammit. I must be getting rusty in my old age if nobody's depressed by my words.
The following morning, we went to school same as usual. At lunch, Liz grabbed me before Antonio could, and dragged me to their table, where she and the other four vampires proceeded to stare at me while I ate.
Just a little creepy.
I noticed that Liz and Nataliya were both back with their respective lovers, a set of chestnut and honey brown next to one of shocking silver and platinum. Roderich's occasional wince (always when Liz leaned against him too much) and Gilbert's responding smirks proved my earlier theory right.
I didn't know vampires could get sore.
"So, you'll be playing with us, right?" asked Liz, pulling me out of my musing. Gilbert snickered at her phrasing and she must have kicked him under the table, because he yelped.
"I think so," I said with a shrug. Antonio grinned happily next to me.
"Great," said Liz with a wide smile and a giggle.
"At least you don't have to see Gilbert trying to play baseball," Nataliya finished with a laugh of her own.
The brunet next to me snickered (not cutely, dammit!) as Gilbert, nursing his shin, whined, "Come on, I'm better than Arthur at least!"
The others glanced at each other, then away.
"Seriously? You guys think that old man is better than the awesome me?"
"You both suck dick at baseball," commented Liz.
"And in real life," I added with a smirk as he glanced between Roderich and Gilbert. Both looked aghast, though Liz and Nataliya burst out cackling.
"I think we're all going to be a great family," said Nataliya with a comforting smile. Liz winked at me.
Damn. If I knew I was so compatible with vampires, I could've saved five years of life being afraid of them.
Er, I mean -
The field where they played soccer was big, grassy, and muddy. Antonio had picked me up in the black Jeep I'd seen Gilbert driving before, and told me to wear shoes I didn't mind ruining. I grabbed a pair of boots and yanked them on as Ludwig returned home.
Then came a very awkward conversation that went something like this.
"Hey, Ludwig, that's Antonio."
"We're dating!"
"You're one of Doctor Kirkland's boys, ja?"
"Whoaaa! How'd you know?" (Can you hear the grin? I swear to God that I could.)
"I heard that all his adopted kids were foreign. You look...Spanish, perhaps."
"So true!"
"So, you're dating my son?"
"Yep!"
"Well, take care of him, then."
"Sì!"
Awkward, cuz I'd never introduced someone to Ludwig before. What if he went all psycho-German and tried to shoot Antonio? Not that I cared, but still.
And when I brought my first girlfriend home, Mom had spazzed and made pasta and started planning my wedding dress.
Yes, my wedding dress. He's got this weird idea that I should wear a dress too at my wedding.
But Ludwig's bearable meter rose 10 points for that easy going attitude, and Antonio and I were out the door in a few seconds.
And yeah. The field was muddy and gross, but I walked so that Antonio wouldn't be able to molest me. Because it's not like I wanted him to.
When we got out of the car, Antonio pulled a striped jersey over my head and wrapped me up in a red jacket. Both my parka and the red muscle shirt he wore under his black sweater had the Spanish flag emblazoned on them.
"What the hell," I deadpanned. He beamed and kissed me on the lips.
Somewhere to my left, Gilbert - or maybe that was Liz... - wolf-whistled, and I pulled back with an indignant sputter.
All the others, too, were wearing soccer outfits with shirts too tight (to the point that Liz was almost wincing) and shorts that accentuated their asses (especially in Antonio's case. But if you tell him that, I will fucking cut you); they had knee-high socks and their hair brushed out of their faces. Gilbert was sitting on the ground as Nataliya pinned his hair off his face with several cutesy little yellow hairclips that had yellow puffball chicks at the clasps, and the two girls had twisted their hair into messy knots. And they were all wearing different nations' flags. I recognized France, England, and Prussia, before Antonio pointed out Hungary, Belarus, and Austria.
"Why don't I have an Italian jersey?" I scowled.
Antonio grinned. (He really did a lot of that.) "Because you're supporting me, of course!"
About then, Roderich - in the red and white split jacket - walked over to us and said, "First match is Nat and Liz; their winner will play the winner of Arthur and Gilbert's game. That winner will play Francis, and then that winner will play you." It sounded really confusing to me, but Antonio nodded and Roderich turned to me. "Do you know the rules?"
"Yeah," I sniffed. He sighed, looking relieved that he wouldn't have to explain anything.
"Call them as you see them."
"Sure."
A couple minutes later, Liz and Nataliya stepped onto the crude field Gilbert had outlined by dragging his nails across the dirt. When it started, I was shocked by the speed of the damn game.
"Our matches finish very quickly," supplied Roderich as he saw my open jaw, "because we move fast. Two forty five minute periods are cut down to two ten minute periods where the goal is to end in possession of the ball."
"There aren't any points scored?"
"If one can kick the ball between those two trees at each end of the field, we count one point. But that's not common."
Roderich, keeping track on Gilbert's iTouch, called, "Time!" when the period was over. Liz and Nataliya scraped over the field with leafy branches to level the ground, like a Zamboni on ice because of all the deep scuffs. The match restarted twenty seconds after it was stopped.
The two girls played cleanly, and Nataliya had possession when Roderich announced the game over.
The next match, however...well, it was a dirty bitch to call fouls from Gilbert and the doc, because they were both insanely fast. Roderich shouted out penalties every five seconds, it seemed. "It's easier to tell fouls if you look for the jersey colors," he explained. "See, there - Gilbert's jersey is black and white, and Arthur's is red and blue. When monochrome colors blot out the red -"
"Foul!" I shrieked.
Roderich nodded in approval.
Gilbert shot four goals against Arthur's one, and when Roderich called time, it took Liz, Francis, and Antonio to keep the enraged blondie down.
The next match was Nataliya against Gilbert. I wondered aloud why Antonio hadn't played yet.
"He's our reigning champion," said Roderich. "I don't think he's ever lost -"
"Cuz he's got nothing - or nobody - to do except play soccer!" cackled Gilbert.
Gilbert beat Nataliya through possession (even though it looked as though he would lose when she 'tripped' and her shirt slid up for a second. Liz snorted at Gilbert's expression) and did the same against Francis. Antonio bounded over a second before his match and hugged me. "Lovi! Wish me luck, won't you~?" he sang, kissing me sloppily.
Liz giggled as I grudgingly said, "Yeah, yeah," and kissed him on the cheek. Antonio radiated gayness and pulled me into a tight hug.
"My Lovi's so cute, just like a -"
"Don't you dare fucking say it!"
He smiled and kissed me again before letting go and skipping off (no, literally. He skipped like a five-year-old) over to where Gilbert was waiting.
After seeing the determined look on his face, I had no doubt he'd win. Roderich dropped the ball in the middle of the field and walked back over to where I stood before whistling and starting the match.
I tried looking for color blends again - black or white over red or blue was a foul - but they moved too damn fast. I groaned and left it to Roderich, who called fouls every couple seconds again.
With twenty seconds left on the clock, Antonio still had possession but suddenly kicked it off the field. Gilbert let out a groan of annoyance and turned to shout when he saw Antonio's expression and turned to see Liz.
Liz cried out, "Stop!"
In a flurry of terribly clashing colors - no, really. Red over orange? Ugh - the others all flitted over to where Roderich, Liz and I stood. Antonio grabbed me and started kissing me sloppily but desperately as though trying to see how many times he could kiss me in a minute.
"I'm so sorry," he muttered over and over again. for once, Liz and Nataliya weren't grinning. "I shouldn't have brought you."
"They were leaving, then they heard us," informed Liz.
"'They'?" I questioned.
Francis sighed and turned to Liz. "Is there time to get Lovino out of here?"
"No. They've almost reached."
Antonio wrapped an arm around me and pulled that happy smile back on his face as three figures appeared in the fog across the field.
Two of them were tall, maybe 5'10 or '11, although the third looked a fair bit shorter than me. As they came closer, their features became clearer: the tallest had a strange mask over his eyes and wore a green hoodie, the other tall one looked sleepy and wore a t-shirt and jeans, and the third wore a black sweater with a glittering gold choker-like piece around his tanned throat. Mask and Pipsqueak were darker skinned than the other brunet, who looked about to fall asleep.
Of course, all of them were vampires.
Oh, that was why Antonio had spazzed, I guessed that these were the ones who had been terrorizing north Washington.
I didn't tell you? Sorry. Well, people from various nearby counties had been going missing for weeks, and the po-po thought it was due to animal attacks because when the bodies turned up, they were mangled almost beyond identification. I had overheard Ludwig talking about them earlier that week; one of the autopsy results was "drained of blood". When I asked Antonio, he said that it was because of foreign vampires. Gilbert was the only family member who drank human blood, and his deal was that he only hunted humans that nobody would miss - homeless people, orphaned children, etc. Never people with families or friends, according to Francis.
So comparing these three burgundy-eyed vampires with Antonio's reaction, I thought it safe to assume that the trio were responsible for the murders.
Sleepy spoke first.
"I am...Herakles Karpusi. These are...Gupta Muhammad...Hassan, and Sadiq Adnan." As he spoke, Sleepy tilted his head first towards Pipsqueak (who maybe came up to my chin) and then to Mask.
I wondered if they could tell whether I was human, or if Antonio's -
Oh, ugh! Antonio had basically spat all over me! Eww!
Francis smiled amiably. "It's nice to meet you, mes amis!"
Herakles nodded slowly. Everything about his was slow, from the way he glanced from person to person, to the way he opened his mouth to respond.
"We heard a...game, and wondered...if we could join."
The way that Francis looked at us - as if he were seriously contemplating Herakles' request - was great acting, almost as good as Antonio's fake smile. Francis sighed and turned back to the newcomers.
"Je suis très désolé, but we we were planning on leaving."
"Just one game?" asked the small one with a pretty smile and annoyance flickering in his blood red eyes.
Arthur grinned coolly. "Just one game, then," he agreed, flashing a glance at Antonio. "You can fill in for a few of us."
Antonio nodded brightly and turned to me. "Let's go~"
Mask, who had not spoken till that moment, said, "Oh? He's not a snack?" in a mildly shocked tone.
Herakles and Pipsqueak spun around and stared at me, eyes wide. "A human?" asked Herakles in a voice that might have sounded more surprised if it wasn't so lazy.
I totally don't know what happened after that, but somehow I ended up with seven growling vampires surrounding me protectively.
I promptly facepalmed.
"I think you should leave now," said Francis with a smile.
Herakles reached out and gripped Mask's wrist. "Sounds...good."
Mask tore his eyes away from me, jumping to Antonio's face.
Then he grinned coldly and turned on his heel, wrapping a muscular arm around the shortie's shoulders and pulling him close as the trio departed.
"Well," said Gilbert in a growling tone, "fuck me sideways and call me a Russian, but I think we've got a tracker on our hands."
I had only ever seen Antonio with two faces: idiotic, and psychotic. I never thought her might have a neurotic persona back there somewhere too, taking up residence in his empty head, but apparently he did. This neurotic was different than what I was used to; instead of being spazzy, Antonio's was just cold and a little twitchy. As soon as the trio left, he practically teleported me to the Jeep and clicked me into the passenger seat before speeding away from the field.
"I - I've got to see Ludwig," I blurted out.
"No." Antonio's voice was hard, and his eye was twitching.
"He's my dad! I have to make sure -"
"That doesn't matter."
"Yes he does! What if he gets killed?"
Antonio swerved with a furious glance in my direction.
Damn. I hoped I could act half as well as Francis or Antonio as I opened the door, because I had one shot to convince the tracker that I was leaving Forks for good.
-x-x-x-
There was an uncomfortable twisting in my gut as Antonio drove us (in my truck, because the story was that I was driving back to Phoenix) to his place.
He turned and reached out with one arm, wrapping it around me and pulling me closer to him in the cab seat. "He'll forgive you."
I replied gloomily, "No, he won't. I said pretty much the same thing Mom did before he left." I don't want to get stuck here like Mom!
"Don't worry." repeated Antonio, kissing me again.
There was a loud thump in the back of my truck, and I jerked.
"That's just Gil." I turned and saw that it was indeed the albino; I could imagine the feral grin on his ghoulish face. "Liz is driving the car behind us," Antonio added.
We pulled into the long driveway, and Gilbert's growl upon entering was loud enough to hear over the car engine. Antonio, too, looked stiff as we neared the house; the tall figure of Herakles Karpusi was clearly visible in the entrance hall.
The Greek - I think that was what he was - looked bored as ever, and sighed as we entered. Francis explained, "He's not hostile."
Herakles smiled tiredly and said, "I just came...to warn you. I'm sick...of Sadiq and...his games, but...he is lethal. The...most skilled tracker...I've ever met. Even...more so that...Mei Huang."
Gilbert arched an eyebrow. "More than Mei...?"
Antonio elaborated. "She refused Yong-Soo."
With a sagely nod, Herakles continued. "And Gupta. Do not...underestimate him. He...is small, but...just as dangerous. Very...persuasive, so do not...let him trick you."
This time, Liz spoke. "Thank you, Herakles. A safe trip, and our regards to Kiku." With a final slow nod, the man turned and ambled out of the house.
"A tracker and a liar?" asked Arthur, biting his lip as he ushered us to the garage. "Well, that's certainly a distressing duo." Roderich and Nataliya were already in the garage, Francis carrying the bad I'd brought from my house.
"It's a far shot, but we may be able to trick him," said Roderich, throwing a jacket at Gilbert.
"Gilbert will wear Lovi's clothes and try to spread the scent in a direction opposite then where Lovi's going. But Antonio, you have to be with Gilbert, I'm guessing that Sadiq will have realized you'd never leave him," finished the Belorussian.
Antonio growled. "I'm not leaving Lovi."
Liz spoke up. "Roderich and I will take him to Phoenix, and the Bad Touch will lead the tracker north. Arthur and Nat can follow the Egyptian."
Oh, the small guy was Egyptian? How the flying fuck had they figured that out?
Antonio looked about to argue when Liz added, "Tony. We'll keep him safe."
It took him a while, but eventually Antonio agreed. He kissed me, eliciting whistles from Gilbert and giggles from the girls, before he watched me slide into the backseat of the Merc Liz planned to take.
I scowled and crossed my arms.
"Bye, mi querido," Antonio said quietly as Liz started the car and opened the garage.
"See ya, bastard," I responded, just as quietly.
God, I thought as Liz pulled out of the driveway. I fucking hate road trips.
A/N: Ahahaha, sorry, it sucked :'DDD
Ummm, let's see...this question! Idek. Er...ummm, randomness! What's my favorite crack pairing? Hint hint, it's someone/Romano, and totally fricking random. Just guess, guess your way to success! /shot
Thank you for reading! :)