Enjoy and review.

The names of Doug's uncles, cousins, sister, stepfather, stepsister, mother and aunt (not Daniel's wife, but Sam's sister) are actually real, but I did not know the names of his grandmother and aunt (that would be Daniel's wife), so I just made them up, ok?

Dougie's POV

"Did you have a nice journey? The weather's awful, I was so worried, baby" trust my mum to be worried about everything. And, Jesus, did she have to call me baby in front of Stephanie?

"Mum, it's not even raining" I said as I took off my coat, took Steph's too and put them in the clothes stand [a/n: first time I ever use that word, is it acually used like that?]

"It could have rained! And you know how dangerous the road gets then" she sighed, stressed, and Steph repressed a smile.

"Jeez, mum, relax" I said, touching her shoulder gently once and then grabbed my babe's hand again "So... How's here?" I need to be ready for whatever may come.

"Jazzie, obviously, and uncle Dan's little crew. Oh, and your grandma"

"Grandma's already here?" I tried to make my smile seem honest.

'Oh, God' I thought as I swallowed 'I thought she was coming later!' Steph squeezed my hand.

"Would you like to meet them, darling?" mum asked, smiling with excitement at her.

"I'd love to" she said, her behaviour just perfect. I was so nervous I thought I was going to pee my own pants.

We walked towards the living room, where most of my relatives were. My sister Jazzie was curled up on the couch, her eyes on the TV, just as uncle Daniel. Aunt Ivy was reading 'Pride and Prejudice' again. Every single time I see her, she's got that book on her hands. Their kids had to be upstairs cause the roof was trembling. Those little monster were surely something to worry about, and soon more would arrive when my aunt Caroline arrives too. I would have to sleep with one eye opened, I could almost already see them making plans for new not-funny-at-all jokes.

Jazz was wearing simple jeans and a plain black shirt, casual clothes, unlike uncl Daniel, who always wears suits. Ivy is a really sweet person -too sweet to control her children, I believe-, very simple, she was just wearing a light cream dress, her shoes on the wooden floor.

I couldn't find grandmam that made me nervous.

"Hey, everyone" mum said and my three relatives turned their heads on our way "Dougie and his girlfriend, have finally arrived"

"Hi, I'm Stephanie" my babe said as she smiled shyly. She looked so damn cute when she got shy.

"Hi, welcome!" my aunt said. You could say she was the 'normal' one between all of my relatives "It's so good you kids could make it" she stood up and hugged me, then hugged Steph before I could stop her; my girl doesn't like it too much when people who aren't close to her touch her. Steph just took a deep breath. I've never asked her why she does't like it, I just guessed it all goes back to some dark story from her time with her mother. I wasn't ever going to ask, I knew that wouldn't be a nice conversation "I'm Ivy, that one over there is my husband Daniel"

Uncle Dan smiled at her and waved from his place in the couch. She did the same as she innocently leaned away from my aunt.

"And she's Jazzie, my sister" I said. I gave Jazz a warning look; my sister always gets kind of jealous about me bringing girls home. We were really close when we were kids and I lived here, I guess it's kind of hard for her to see me intimate with a girl.

"Dougie's talked a lot about you" Steph said friendly.

"Oh, yeah?" my sis said from the couch "That's nice. He's barely talked about you, though"

Awkward silence. She met my eyes and smiled. Evil! She's evil!

"Well," I said without meeting Steph's eyes "that's just cause I didn't want you all to start asking a thousand questions. You know, some privacy..."

"That's very understandable" aunt Ivy said. God bless her.

"So... Where's grandma?" I asked, nervously looking around again.

"Bathroom" my uncle said.

"She's been there for like half an hour" Jazzie said "That's one place you don't wanna visit after she comes out"

"Jazzie, please!" mum said a bit annoyed "We've got visits"

"Oh, well" she got up and put an arm around Steph's shoulder, an evil look on her eyes. My babe just held my hand even more tightly "She's almost family, isn't she? I mean, two years! That's a well kept secret, bro"

"Actually, Jazz, Stephanie really doesn't like it when people have too much physical contact with her, so could you please back down a little bit?" I said and Jazz removed her arm from Steph's shoulder.

"Oh, sorry" she said.

"No, it's fine" Steph blushed.

"So how do you guys have sex then?" Jazz asked "No, wait, I don't want to you about your sex life"

'Oh, dear God...' I thought, I could die of embarrassment. I heard uncle Dan giggle, but stopped himself quickly. Just when I was about to tell her she'd been completely out of place, grandma walked in. She's a small woman with blue eyes, fake blond hair and oldfashion clothes that cover her body completely. Seriously, completely, all of it, you can't see anything but her hands and head.

"Sex?" she said in her loud voice "Who's talking about sex?"

"Jazzie" I said quickly, knowing that there was a huge chance my sister would try to blame me. Grandma's kind of deaf, she would never be able to tell the different between my voice and Jazz's voice, but for some reason, if you're talking about sex, she will hear you and give you a long speech.

"Oh, dear, what are we going to do with you?" grandma put a hand on Jazz's shoulder and moved her head from side to side disapprovingly "Kids these days have and talk about sex like they watch that dull tv thing. It's so wrong, so wrong..."

"Yes, grandma" Jazzie and I said at the same time as my mum and uncle said "yes, mum" and aunt Ivy said "totally right, Louisa" I could tell Stephanie was about to laugh and prayed that she didn't or we would be hearing one of grandma's speech all day long.

"Now, I don't think we've been introduced" grandma looked at Steph.

"I'm Stephanie, Dougie's girlfriend"

"Are you two living in sin?"

Oh, Jesus, will she never stop asking me that!?

"I'm... I'm sorry?" Steph said confused as Jazzie covered her mouth before a giggle could escape her mouth.

"No, grandma, of course not, how could you ever think that?" I lied.

Jazzie ran out the room, up the stairs, and I'm pretty sure she's now laughing in her room.

"Good, darling, good, it'd be a shame if you burned in hell" she said.

Oh, dear God...

Steph gave me a very confused look.

"I'll explain later" I mumbled, then turned to the others "We'll so settle down, if you excuse us"

"Ok, baby" mum said. There's the baby word again! "Dinner will be ready at 8. Moo and Dean are coming tomorrow"

"Kids too?" I said, a bit of hope in my chest. Maybe they had to stay for some reason. Any reason!

"Of course!" she said.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. I'm seriously not surviving this Christmas.

"Ok, great" I smiled and hold on to Steph's hand, then started leading her up the stairs.

"What was all the sin and hell thing?" she whispered to me, still confused.

I sighed. I knew she wasn't ready for this, I should have explained her everything before. Now I would have to tell her all about my family in just a few minutes.

"There are some things you need to know, baby"