Note: As some of you know I have disappeared for a few weeks. This is a very short chapter but a personal tragedy has taken away the time I used for writing. I am going to try to get back into regular writing but please understand during this time of grieving my writing may be infrequent or short.
Watching as my partner hovers uncommitted in my bedroom doorway; I can't help but think of how it would be if I was safe in his arms instead of wrapped in these cold sheets hoping he doesn't notice the slight tremor my body has taken.
"Goodnight Booth," My voice lightly shakes but my body is too weak to let my eyes fall upon the damage I have done. Months of feeling worthless has left the man of my dreams with little more recourse then to run from the woman he has always ran to. Even if I can keep my love momentarily, the facts are clearly written in the sorrow filled eyes piercing my soul; I am unable to keep him for a lifetime.
"Night Bones," I can hear the smile in his words but the hesitation stabs my heart deeper then any words could.
"Need anything?" I prod, trying to break the tension in the room.
"Nope." His youthful laugh hides the mischief behind his eyes as mine finally fall onto his.
"Then why are you standing in my doorway in just your boxers, expectantly?"
"Just watching." He shrugs but the silence speaks of a desire in the waiting.
"I assure you, my sleeping patterns are very uniform and uninteresting. After the many occasions we have slept toge-... in the same room during a mission, I know you know my sleeping habits, Booth." I try to redirect his gaze but my words just force his eyes to narrow on my weak form. Stepping into my bedroom he takes a deep breath as his eyes sweep wide across the room, refusing to fall into the soft and inviting bed. As he approaches an overwhelming sense of longing and desire fills the small part of my heart I have left. Resist, Temperance, resist the urge to... oh hell, there is no use in denying it anymore. From the moment he laid eyes on me I knew I was gone.
As much as I have spent the last five years denying the truth, the fact is he has had my heart and always will. Even if I tried to deny it, we both know when he leaves he will always take a piece of me with him. Forever I will be bound to the man who within an instant changed more than just my mind, he changed my world.
"Booth..." I finally rasp out, unable to keep my arm from outstretching toward his inviting form.
"Cold Bones?" He offers as his hands drag slowly across my comforter, stopping short of the mound that is my warm body. "I am sure we could find a few more blankets to-"
"No," I interrupt with a growl, unable to keep my desperation from my lips, "I... I'm just... I think it would be best if..." I fumble but finally my fear takes over as his scent washing over me forces my eyes to roll closed in submission.
"Best if we did what?" His voice deepens as I feel the weight on the bed shift and his breath engulf me, "What does that squinty brain of yours say we do?"
And for the first time in my life I fall apart, letting my heart speak what my mind has spent years trying to place in predefined boxes of little substance. Without hesitation my only undeniable truth begins to slowly roll off my tongue.
"Everything." I lightly whisper, "God Booth... I... want everything."
As he slowly slides under the sheets I know this night will either be the beginning of something a lifetime in the making or the end of the fragile, slowly-beating heart of one desperate, rational scientist.