Chapter 8

Two weeks turned into a month. Raphael was still having nightmares, not every night, but still several times a week, and the toll of not actually getting any rest was beginning to wear on him, as well as the rest of them, since they couldn't sleep either.

Leonardo forced himself to be there for every nightmare that Raphael suffered. Sometimes his bouts were violent, sometimes they were quiet, more full of despair. He had no memory of the nightmares and Leonardo was determined that no one would tell him. During the day Raphael seemed fine, more angry that he couldn't recover physically from his wounds. But sometimes he would catch him jump or freeze, a frightened look on his face when there was a particular sound. He didn't want to add to Raphael's burden by letting him know that during the night he was wracked with fear, and that the goddess saw him this way.

He knew that Raphael's feelings towards the goddess had been getting stronger. He wasn't sure if Raphael was aware of the way he looked at her. Leonardo didn't trust her, he feared her. He had watched as his brothers, all of them seemed to fall under her spell. But he couldn't figure out a way to free them from her.

He had followed her time and again at random and each time he had come back empty handed as to what she was really up to, what she really wanted from them.

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Raphael screamed. "It's been a month and I am no further to being any better. Raphael dropped one of his sai as he punched, his arm cramping. "If anything I'm getting worse!"

Donatello and Michelangelo all looked at Leonardo who was watching Raphael as he punched his heavy bag. The goddess was out so it was just the four of them. "Calm down Raph."Leonardo said.

"Yeah if the goddess finds out you were practicing, she's going to have your head." Michelangelo warned with a grin on his face. "And here I thought she had Raph too whipped to ever disobey her." He continued.

"Take that back Mikey!" Raph warned him.

"Whatever Mikey, you let her borrow your special limited edition, first ever printing, never been opened Silver Sentry #1, and let her open it. You shouldn't be bugging Raph in any way about being whipped." Donatello said with a smile.

"She really wanted to read it." Michelangelo said defensively, with a blush.

"Yeah this coming from the guy who let her redesign the new shell cycle. Have you seen that thing!" Raphael's face grew serious."I think it's time you two backed off." Raphael growled at Donatello and Michelangelo.

"I don't see why you think you have any claim on her Raph" Donatello said angrily.

"Yeah Raph." Michelangelo said.

"Yeah well let me tell you guys something..." Raphael began.

"How about you telling me why you seem to be punching your heavy bag Raphael, after I expressly told you not to." A voice that felt like silk slid down Raphael's back.

Michelangelo laughed. "Busted!"

Amber eyes glared at Raphael and he looked angrily at his brothers. "I'm just so pissed off!" Raphael shouted. "I'm not getting any better, I'm worse! I can't move as fast, I can barely keep myself standing for long periods of time and don't even get me started about my arm which has begun to cramp up every single time I use it!" He yelled. "And I'm so damn tired. I can barely make it out of bed in the morning. Staying up during the day nearly kills me, and if I could I would crawl into bed right after supper!" The goddess stared at him silently for a few seconds.

Leonardo jumped down from the ledge he was sitting on and walked past her. She put a hand on Leonardo's chest stopping him. Leonardo closed his eyes. She looked at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. He tried to pass but she held him. Raphael saw red. "Leonardo you need to stay for this." She dropped her hand and walked over to Raphael who could barely breathe. "Raphael, breathe, your anger is spilling out." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry I did not heal you better Raphael." She said in a voice filled with regret. She traced his scars, looking at him with storm blue eyes. "If I had been faster, smarter, something, maybe I could have stopped the Syna before it had even managed to attack you. Then you wouldn't be dealing with the consequences of my actions." She looked at her hand. "And I wouldn't be powerless." She clenched her hand into a fist.

Raphael felt his anger drain away. He grabbed her hand and looked down at her. "If that would have happened, if you had of stopped the Syna before it killed me, then what?"

"I would have disappeared. You would have woke up suffering the effects of a half remembered dream. You never would have known me, you never would have known you had been killed, you wouldn't be trying to fight and have the failure of your inability to do so heaped upon you day after day." She said softly.

Raphael was silent for a moment then nodded. He gave his sais to her and said, "If the price I have to pay for having met you is for me to never fight again, I'll pay that price." He whispered to her. He turned and walked away.

"What just happened." Michelangelo asked.

"I think Raphael just quit" Donatello said in shock.

"A price like that is too high and I am not worth that price Raphael." She said softly. "You don't get to quit yet Raphael. A warrior only gets to quit when he is dead. And I know you are a warrior Raphael. You will heal. One way or another you will heal." There was an edge in her voice, a warning. But somehow Raphael didn't think the warning was aimed at him. He stopped and turned to her. She looked at him steadily, then turned to his brothers. "I have picked up a few fresh demon scents. They are not close to the lair, but just the fact that there are as many as I picked up means something big is starting to happen, and I might finally be able to track one of these demons down." She walked over to Leonardo. "I want you to be careful when you are following me." She said to him softly as she touched his shoulder. He flinched away from her touch. If this bothered her she didn't show it. Instead she walked up behind Raphael and reached around him. She slid his Sais back in his belt. "You will need these Raphael." She turned back around and was surprised by Leonardo who was gripping her arm tightly. She looked at him. "I see." Was all she said. Leonardo released her arm.

"Leo what the..?" Raphael asked in shock. They both moved to the center of the training area. Leonardo drew his katanas, while she stood opposite of him unarmed. Leonardo threw a Katana at her and she deftly caught it. She bowed and he bowed in return. They were silent as they fought each other, only the clash of metal upon metal could be heard.

"What's Leo so worked up about?" Michelangelo asked in confusion. Raphael looked at his brother and shrugged. Leonardo had been so touchy and angry. He and the goddess seemed to have some kind of game going on which, judging by Leonardo's anger, he was losing. Leonardo never liked to lose, hell he didn't think any of his brothers like to lose. She was letting Leonardo work off his anger, he could see it. Instead of helping, Leonardo's rage was growing. She backed up but she was too close to the wall. Leonardo hit her hard slamming her against the hard stone. Sword a hairs breath from her neck. Raphael's heart stopped. She was gripping Leonardo's hand stopping him from pushing the sword any closer to her neck. Raphael was about to shout at him when he noticed her sword was blocking the strike as well as her holding his hand back. She pushed Leonardo's sword up and she slid down the wall ducking between his legs. He turned quickly and kicked out at her. She dodged but Leonardo pushed himself harder trying to be faster, to match even her mortal speed. She had been getting better, stronger and faster by sparing with Leonardo so often. As a result Leonardo had to push himself even harder to try to beat her, because even though she had been at a disadvantage to begin with, she had yet to lose.

It was then that he saw Leonardo land wrong. Leonardo was so surefooted, he didn't think he had ever seen Leonardo make a wrong move. The goddess seen it as well and reached out to stop him. Leonardo corrected his footing but Raphael could see he had hurt himself. But instead of stopping he pushed on. She blocked his sword as she quickly pulled back the offered arm. Grimly she fought on until Leonardo was dripping in sweat, let out a breath and collapsed. "Leo!" Donatello and Michelangelo yelled.

She looked at Leonardo, her face oddly emotionless, as if whatever she was feeling she didn't want to share. "Idiot." She grumbled as she knelt down, picked him up with one arm and heaved him over her shoulder. It was still disconcerting to realize that she was really just that strong. She walked with Leonardo and dropped him onto his bed. She was looking at him with an expression Raphael couldn't identify. Anger and worry mixed together. She looked at the leg he had landed on wrong. She squeezed it through Leonardo's pants. Leonardo woke up and screamed. "Idiot." She said to him. She turned away from him as Leonardo fell back into unconsciousness. "He's torn his hamstring. Other than that he'll be fine." She said angrily. She strode from Leonardo's room.

"Where are you going?" Raphael asked.

"Out." Was all she replied.

Leonardo spent the rest of the afternoon icing his leg and beating himself up for not stretching before trying to go at it with the goddess. He was just so angry at himself for believing that he was smart enough, fast enough, and stealthy enough to follow her without her knowing. If she knew he was following her, every time he followed her of course he wouldn't ever catch her doing anything that he could bring back to his brothers. He was also angry at himself for wanting her touch, craving it so badly his body burned for it. But she touched Raphael the same way, and he knew she was just playing with them, all of them, because how could she really feel anything for them? The only thing he could think about was hurting her in some way.

So he and Raphael were stuck on the couch for the rest of the day, miserable in each other's company because he wouldn't, couldn't tell Raphael why he was so angry, he barely understood it himself. "Hey Leo, is there something you want to tell me bro?" Raphael asked in a deadly voice. "You seem to be unusually angry lately."

"I don't trust her Raph. We can't confirm anything she's told us. Everything she tells us is like a riddle or a puzzle where most of the pieces are missing and none of it makes any sense! And I am sick and tired of watching you guys make idiots of yourselves for someone who is just going to leave when she is done with us! You heard her Raph, the only reason she is still here isn't because of us, it's because she literally can't leave!" Leonardo yelled. He struggled angrily to his feet.

"Do you think Leo's right?" Michelangelo asked.

"Of course he's right. She wouldn't be here, but she is here, we just have to convince her that maybe it would be a nice place to stay." Raphael said quietly.

"I think we have begun to forget that she is a goddess, thousands of years old. What would a being like that want with us?" Donatello asked.

"Thank you Donatello, finally a voice of reason!" Leonardo said angrily as he began to limp to his room.

"But when she leaves, even when it is just for a little while, it feels like...even though the lair is still full of us, it's somehow...empty." Michelangelo said sadly.

Leonardo closed his eyes against the feelings that Michelangelo's words struck within him. He spent the rest of the night in his room trying to do something with his leg. He looked up and saw the goddess standing in his doorway looking at him arms crossed leaning against his door frame. "Get out." He growled. She pushed herself off the frame, walked into his room, closed the door and locked it behind her.

"And to think I thought you were a definite brief man." Leonardo looked down at himself and found a blush spreading across his face. He was leaning against his headboard in nothing but his boxers.

"What do you want?" He tried to sound angry but it came out more uncertain. There was a quiet menace about her. Even though he knew she was powerful and strong, and dangerous she never seemed to feel threatening. But now she felt hostile. She seemed to shake the menace from her like a cat twitching water off its fur.

"To help you." She said with a slight edge to her voice. "You should have stopped when you pulled your hamstring, but no, you had to keep fighting until you not only managed to tear it, but you fought yourself into exhaustion. And I am not looking for an explanation so you can close your mouth right now. I know what your answer will be so we will just skip that whole conversation and we will instead pick up on the part where I tell you to lie back, let me see, and you actually let me." He opened his mouth to protest but she was already sitting on the bed pulling his leg up. He tried not to scream but a soft cry escaped.

"Try not to yell too loud Leonardo, or else your brothers may come running, and I do not think that they will appreciate the position we would appear to be in." He glared at her as she felt his muscle, and sighed. She began to massage his leg and although it hurt she was gentle. The pain slowly faded to a dull ache as she ran her deft hands over the entirety of his thigh. He finally began to relax. She began moving down to his calf and he almost groaned. She stopped and he opened his eyes. She wasn't looking at his face but rather she began massaging his other leg, repeating what she had with the first. When she had finished with his legs she moved up to his shoulders and massaged down the length of both arms. He looked at her and found her face very close to his own. She wasn't looking at him instead she was concentrating on her task. He then realized that she was sitting right between his legs, breasts almost scraping against his chest. Awareness blazed through him.

"You really find it hard to believe that I could be attracted to your brothers don't you? You think I am just playing with them to what, pass the time until I can finally get away from this place?" She asked him, finally looking at him. She sat back giving him room to breathe again.

"How could you be? Look at us." Anger dripped from every word. She tipped her head to the side and studied him. She pulled her wings in tight the turned her back to him. She slid closer to him until she was leaning against his chest. He stopped breathing. He didn't trust her as far as he could throw her, which was absolutely impossible unless she let him. He just had to remind his body of that.

She held out an arm in front of her. "Hold up your arm Leonardo." He did as she bid. "What do you see?" "Two arms. One green the other white." He said rolling his eyes. She spread her hand showing all five delicate fingers. He copied her.

"One hand with five fingers the other with three. Is there a point to this?" She spread her leg against his uninjured one letting her arm fall. She leaned over and pulled off her boot. "Two legs, two feet, five toes, two toes."

"So far it does not seem like we are so different." She turned back around and faced him. "Two arms, two legs, two hands two feet and the number of digits is inconsequential, at least to me." She touched his face. "Eyes, face, mouth, chin..." She said touching each in turn. "Neck, chest." She stopped at his chest. She knocked on his shell. "24/7 body armour. Heart, lungs, stomach." She traced a finger down each plain of his shell. He cursed that he couldn't feel a single bit of what she was doing, but just watching her was starting to drive him crazy. She stopped at the edge of his boxers. "And well, you're a guy, which makes that different. And since you and most of your brothers have already seen me naked, I will then go out on a limb and assume that we would be physically compatible."

Leonardo didn't know if she wanted him to answer her because he couldn't think and couldn't breathe and the blood that normally resided in his brain seemed to have deserted him for another region of his anatomy. He clenched his teeth as he tried to get his body under control. This was exactly how she had managed to get his brothers. She stood up and got off the bed. He didn't know whether to be sorry or relieved. "I find all of you beautiful." She tipped her head to the side. "Or I guess handsome? Since guys hate being called beautiful." She said with a shrug. "Why should you be so surprised at I finding you all attractive. I could say the same about you. Why would you find me attractive?"

He looked at her with surprise. "But you're..." He didn't want to say it, he didn't want to tell her she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. "Very human looking. Not all creatures find humans to be attractive." She said with a smile. "And what about the bits that aren't human. I have a pair of dragon wings;" She turned around looking over her shoulder at him, "A dragon tail." She said moving her tail back and forth. He found the movement of her tail more seductive than anything even nearing repulsive. She turned back towards him. "And let us not forget the kitty-cat ears." She said ears twitching. She threw her head back and brought all of her hair onto the top of her head. He had never seen her wear her waist length hair up, but it was true that where a human set of ears should be, there were none. It looked somehow wrong. She let the hair fall back down.

"See, somewhere in the back of your mind you thought that there just had to be a human pair of ears there, even if it wouldn't make any sense." She gave a half smile. "So why should I believe that you find me any more attractive than I find you?" He opened his mouth to reply but found there was nothing he could say. She walked back to his bed and sat down between his legs. She leaned in close to him. He tried moving back as far as he could, but part of him didn't want to. She reached out and touched his chest, tracing the contour of his shell. He knew what his skin felt like, dry and leathery. He knew the harsh roughness of his shell. His hands were badly calloused and rough and yet he wanted to place them on her body which looked like it would feel like the softest satin. She leaned into him. She took a deep breath. "Why do you smell so good to me Leonardo? Why is it your scent that makes me want to cover myself with it?" She asked him with half closed eyes. He didn't reply. His heart was beating too fast in his chest. He grabbed her around her waist to push her back, but found instead that his hands wanted to feel more of the satin that her skin seemed to be made up of. He remembered the first instance when she had fought him when she had slid down his body disarming him. "Do you find me attractive Leonardo?" She whispered into his ear.

"No." He managed to choke out. He let go of her waist but his hands ached to touch her again.

"Liar." She said to him as she pulled away from him getting off the bed. She smiled and walked to his door. She unlocked it pulled it open a little, grabbed something, then pulled it gently closed. She turned to him and walked back towards the bed. She was holding a small bag of some sort. "I managed to find everything I needed, thank the gods for China Town. Not only did they carry almost everything I needed, most stores were open quite late."

"What are you doing?" He asked as she opened the bag. She pulled out a roll of bandages and a small jar.

"I already told you, helping you. Now bend your leg up, and try not to jump too much when Raphael comes crashing through your door." She unscrewed the jar's lid.

"What!" He yelped as his door burst open as Raphael barged in. He was reclining on his bed pretty much naked with the goddess partially on the bed leaning over his lower body. From Raphael's point of view it would look like she was... He went completely red as he saw anger and betrayal burn through Raphael's eyes. He opened his mouth to protest his innocence when the smell hit him and he gagged. It was the most awful smell he had ever been subjected to in his life.

Raphael took two angry steps into the room then stopped, his anger turning to disgust. "What the..?" He asked covering his nose.

"No, don't you dare!" Leonardo yelled as he tried to move his leg out of the way as she smeared whatever the vile concoction was on his leg.

"This will help Leonardo, otherwise you won't be fighting for months. This will repair your torn muscle within days." Leonardo shook his head. He didn't think it was worth it. "Do you think it smells more like rotten eggs or dead skunk?" She asked. Leonardo shook his head. To answer would mean he would have to breathe. "I was going for dead skunk." Leonardo nodded his head. "You guys are such babies." She said looking over at Raphael, whose rage still burned in his eyes, but had been tempered with disgust.

"What is that?" Raphael managed to choke out.

"Poultice." She said as she brought out a piece of moss from the bag. She put the piece of moss over where she had covered his leg with the poultice. "The moss has healing properties as well, but will also counteract the smell." She wrapped his leg in the linen bandage. She put the lid on the jar and the smell got better until all you could smell was her, and the faint scent of the woods after a rainfall. She stood up and walked out of the room.

"This is the second time she has been alone with you in your room Leo." Raphael growled.

"Don't think anything is going on between us Raph." Leonardo said angrily. "I don't trust her, and I think you guys are idiots for thinking that she..." He stopped what he was going to say, because it would be a lie. "She wants something Raph, just you wait and see. I'm not going to let a pretty piece of tail distract me from the fact that she is dangerous." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Just because she had rattled him didn't mean that he had to let it get the better of him.

Raphael clenched his fists. "What did you just say." Raphael whispered. His anger and rage were growing.

"He said I was a pretty piece of tail." The goddess said walking back into his room. "Everything he said is completely true. He doesn't trust me, I do want something, I am a pretty piece of tail and I am dangerous." She said laughing.

"He just..." Raphael began. "Is hurt and cranky. So are you. What, you think you are any better?" She said poking him in the chest. "Get some rest Leonardo. And you too Raphael. In fact I should put some of this on you and see if it helps any." She said looking at him speculatively.

Revulsion replaced Raphael's anger. "No way!" "It only smells for a little bit, besides you have never actually shown me your room." She said in a low voice, leading him away.

Leonardo looked at their retreating figures and it struck him that she really couldn't lie. If she had told Raphael that she had never been in his room, it would have been a lie. By saying that Raphael had never shown her his room, it made it seem like she had only been in there the one time during his first nightmare, but in actuality she had been in there many times while she attempted to hold him down as he thrashed in his bed. Leonardo hit his head against his headboard. It didn't change anything. She had admitted outright that she wanted something. He just had to figure out what it was.

Michelangelo watched as the goddess led Raphael from Leonardo's room. Raphael looked back and glared at Leonardo through his door. "It makes my blood boil, I don't like..." Raphael paused as she looked at him eyebrow raised in question. "...what he called you." He finished lamely. It was obvious that he had changed what he was going to say, which anyone who had been watching Raphael this last month, would know that Raphael was having jealousy issues. Raphael's anger wasn't anything new, but the possessiveness with which he treated the goddess was definitely new, and he didn't even think Raphael even knew the way he was acting.

She shrugged. "So he called me a nice piece of tail, I've been called worse." She said with a laugh. Raphael's gaze blazed with anger.

Michelangelo looked at Leonardo's room in shock. He had really called her that? No wonder Raphael was angry. In fact he wasn't very impressed either. "Raphael, you have to cut him some slack, I am not bothered by it so why should you be? If he had actually meant it I would be angry, but he didn't mean it. Come on, time to try this on you, and if I so much as see you move out of your bed tomorrow, I will tie you to it."

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try." Raphael said defiantly. A militant look entered her eyes as they walked into Raphael's bedroom. A few minutes later Raphael was yelling again. "That is the most gods awful..." Raphael began.

Curiosity got the better of Michelangelo and he wandered over to Raphael's door. The smell coming from the room was the most horrid stench he had ever smelled. "Raphael if you don't stop moving around I am going to let you go sans the moss, and you can try to wash it off, but believe me when I say, you even try and the smell gets worse." She said with a vicious smile. Raphael stopped moving and glared as she rubbed some sort of grey mixture on his arm and thigh, then began wrapping it up with a calm efficiency.

Michelangelo laughed. "Wow Raph, I know I always tell you how much you stink, but man, you didn't have to try so hard to prove me right."

"You just come over here and say that Mikey." Raphael threatened in a low voice. He laughed and walked away. His smile disappeared as he peeked in on Leonardo. His brother was already asleep. "What's wrong with you Leo?" He whispered to himself.

He decided to go and listen to some music in his room for a while. He looked at the clock on his bedside table and decided to go to bed. He got up stretched and walked to the bathroom. Someone had obviously left the light on. Michelangelo shrugged, went to the sink and began brushing his teeth. He caught a movement in the mirror and turned around quickly. Sitting in the tub, eyes closed was the goddess. She opened an eye and looked at him. "Do you need to use the bathroom Michelangelo?" She asked. Michelangelo shook his head mouth full of minty toothpaste. She reclosed her eye and lay there. She had obviously been there awhile because the bubbles she had put in the tub were almost nonexistent. She suddenly stood up. Water ran down the curves of her body as she grabbed a towel from the side of the tub. "I'll get out of your way Michelangelo." She said as she snagged her clothes from the floor and began dressing.

"No...it's...I..." He stammered out as he watched each movement as she got dressed. She looked at him. "You're drooling Michelangelo." She said with a smile as she walked out of the bathroom. He turned back to the mirror and wiped the minty toothpaste drool from his face. He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. He liked the goddess, she was lots of fun, she didn't treat him like he was the idiot of the group, but he only thought of her as a friend, someone to hang out with. At least that is what he had kept telling himself. But the flare of desire that rushed through him when he saw her naked, that was not the reaction of someone who only thought of her as a friend. But she was a beautiful woman of course he would feel that way, she was hot. He closed his eyes. He opened them with determination. He would find out if he felt anything for her other than friendship. He walked from the room and found her slumped on the couch. There was a look on her face that made him almost angry. She looked tired. Then he remembered that she had to put up with both Leonardo and Raphael in really bad moods.

"Why do you put up with those two anyway?" He asked and was surprised by the anger that had leaked into his voice. She looked at him and smiled that warm smile of hers. His heart turned over in his chest.

"Because they don't mean to act the way they do. Leonardo is scared. The reasons he is scared are good ones I suppose, but nonetheless are not mine to share. Raphael is frustrated and angry. But it does not mean I am not tempted to beat them both over the head with a hard object at times."

"Game of Rage Fight 2?" Michelangelo asked, all thoughts of going to bed pushed from his mind.

She laughed. "Game on Michelangelo." She said grabbing a controller. Michelangelo didn't know how long they played. She wasn't as good at video games as he thought she would be, but then again she could be letting him win. At least that is what he thought until she grabbed his controller from his hands and began pummelling his character.

"Hey!" He yelled as he dove for his controller snatching it back. She laughed as the fight between them began each trying to distract or grab the other person's controller. She held up his controller and he launched himself at her. He knocked her onto the floor, landing on top of her. She was laughing and so was he, the control having slipped from her grasp sliding across the floor. She looked at him smile wide. He looked down at her and felt it then. The awareness that he had always noticed when she was near. That feeling of wanting something from her that he could never really put his finger on. He looked at her smile as it disappeared replaced instead by an awareness of him. He touched her face as if pulled to touch the silky softness.

A loud bang came from Donatello's workshop making him jump. He looked down at her and rolled to his feet. "Sorry I..." he stammered picking up his control. "You know I think I'm going to turn in for the night." He said throwing the controller on the couch as he practically ran to his room. He shut the door and leaned against it closing his eyes. "Great, just great. Way to go Mikey, you are an idiot." He said to himself. Here he was laughing at Raphael for not knowing his own feelings towards the goddess and here he was no better. But Raphael had feelings for her. Great now he didn't know what to do. He remembered that spark of awareness that flared in her eyes, she had definitely felt something other than friendship for him. He pushed himself off the door. Well he would wait and see if something ended up happening between Raphael and the goddess. That thought hurt him somewhere in the region of his heart but he squished it down. He walked over to his bed and fell into a troubled sleep.