America surprises Iggy with a visit. But he can't just knock like a normal person. No,

America Abuses England's Door

Sighing as he spilled his tea, England walked to his front door, which was currently being pounded on by an overzealous American, who was also yelling at the top of his lungs. "ENGLAND! I'M BORED! ENTERTAIN ME, ARTIE!"

England swung the door open and narrowly avoided being hit in the nose with one of America's wildly swinging fists. "Watch it, you wanker! Why do you always feel the need to attempt to beat the shit out of my door?"

America shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't tell me all Americans knock like that."

"Like what?"

"Do I really have to teach you how to knock on a door properly?"

"Apparently", said America indifferently.

"Come outside with me." America obeyed, watching as England closed the door and lightly rapped on it with one fist.

"England, there's nobody inside, why are you knocking?"

England slapped his forehead. "Unbelievable. I'm teaching you how to knock properly. You're not attempting to beat it down, you merely want to catch the attention of whoever's inside. Try it."

America stepped up to the door. Turning his fist sideways, he pounded hard multiple times.

"No! No, no, no! Tap on the door with your knuckles." America drew back his fist and punched the door.

"Ow! What the hell, England? That hurt!"

"This is not going how I hoped it would."

"You're telling me! Look, I'm bleeding!"

"You're one to talk! I broke my wrist because of you! And you made me get you ice cream before we went to the hospital!"

"You volunteered to do that!"

"Shut up!"

"Can I at least have a band-aid?"

"Come on in."

America left shortly after he cleaned up his hand, and England didn't hear from him for a few weeks. In fact, he'd almost completely forgotten about the incident until he heard a single thud followed by "ow, dammit!" England ignored America, pulling a piece of paper and a pen toward himself. He was planning on publishing a book entitled The Art of Knocking. If no else bought a copy, he was confident that America would.

Thud. "Shit! England, open your door. My hand hurts!"

Well, hopefully.