A/N: Oh, I'm so glad you people enjoyed the last chapter! I must say, I enjoyed writing it as well! Now, this one here is going to be fun too! Man oh man, I'm so excited! Hopefully none of you will see THIS one coming either (well, more like it's in the next chapter, but this one sets it up, lawl), and if you do, bravo!
I swear, I've never been this excited about writing a story before. I just can't keep myself away from the laptop for very long without immediately jumping into writing a new chapter! Not a bad deal for those who want to read the story though, huh?
The Art of Drowning
Pontification is Dangerous
L stared uncomprehendingly at the computer screen before him, his mind once again returning to Raito, and more specifically to Raito's blushing face when L had mentioned a game of mental strip poker. For the life of him, L had no clue why he had said such a thing. It felt wholly natural to tease Raito in such a way, but it shouldn't have. He had said such things without even thinking, which was dangerous in and of itself. There was just something about Raito that made him drop his guard, and strangely enough more so since Raito's impromptu confession. That wasn't good.
L crushed a sugar cube between his fingers, annoyed. He was being absolutely ridiculous. He couldn't get any closer to Raito. It would only hurt both of them in the end, especially if Raito really did turn out to be Kira, as much as L despised even thinking about that more than probable conclusion.
But it Raito was Kira, the L could always . . .
Well. He would cross that bridge when he came to it - if he came to it.
Frankly, he didn't know anymore, especially since his earlier convictions were proven false again and again.
L couldn't help but wonder where the shinigami, Rem, had gone. His mind kept straying to the day when Raito said he would prove himself to be Kira by having the shinigami confirm it. If the shinigami did indeed confirm such a thing, then what would L do? He almost wished the shinigami would stay gone, but he was being selfish.
He didn't want to lose his friend.
Yes, that was the problem. Of course that was the problem, and L scoffed at his uncertainty and weakness when it came to acknowledging the problem and doing something about it. L had always openly admitted to being selfish and childish, and his actions in this situation continued time and time again to prove him so.
Maybe it wouldn't have been so difficult if Raito hadn't broken down the way he did when he was incarcerated once again. Maybe L would have happily sent his friend to execution if Raito's subsequent actions had actually made sense, or something else . . . no, not yet.
L shook the thought away, bringing his mind back to his previous ponderings.
Maybe he would be able to let Raito go if Raito wasn't trying to make it absolutely clear, without blatantly saying it, that Raito was trying to protect the detective from himself.
As much as L wanted to win the game played between the detective L and the mass murderer Kira, he didn't feel like it was that kind of game anymore. No, it was a different game altogether, and L wasn't exactly sure what the rules were or who the players might be, but he was fairly certain that he and Raito were, for once, on the same side. L would not give up on Raito. Not when there were so many unanswered questions. Not when Raito was willing to sacrifice his life for him. Not when Raito was the only thing truly making L feel alive.
L hadn't felt so alive since he was twelve years old.
With that thought, he glanced down at the letter sitting beside his laptop, letting his mind concentrate on something besides Raito, for once, just for the sake of his sanity.
It hurt to get those letters.
The man who wrote those letters was nothing like the boy who was once L's brother in all but blood. Their relationship, once it had started up again through letters after a year long hiatus, was strained and nothing like it used to be. Their contact was restricted solely to letters, anything other was dangerous for the both of them.
L didn't even know what Light looked like anymore. All he could picture when he thought of Light was the abnormally short and skinny ten year old brunet laughing at some prank or joke, but the image didn't fit with the man who wrote the letters. L knew that the words on the page were mechanical at best. Nothing of the Light he had known and loved were in those letters. There were no jokes, innuendos, or even angry rants. It read more like a diary entry than anything else. He wondered why they both even bothered anymore.
After L was allowed to contact his friend once again, it had come to a shock to learn that Light had been adopted and was living in America. L had insisted, as he had done consistently for the year he spent away from Light, to be able to contact his friend. After L threatened to runaway if he wasn't given a means to contact Light, he had finally been given an address.
L had expected everything from no reply to a bag full of feces, but he was surprised to find that Light had replied with a letter telling L all about his wonderful new adopted parents and life in his new home country of America. It had stricken him as odd, but he had been too relieved to have been forgiven to give it much thought then. But now, L wondered if that wasn't just Light's way of telling the detective how much it had hurt to have his friend abandon him.
Maybe L really had been responsible for the degradation of their relationship, but despite all that, as long as L continued to send a letters, he would get a response. L didn't have the heart not to send those letters, even if those sent in turn only served to hurt him.
He truly was alone in the world, wasn't he? If only Raito wasn't Kira . . . If only he hadn't lost Light . . . Or . . .
L sighed, stuffing the letter in his back pocket. His luck was bloody rotten. He rolled a sugar cube between his fingers, glaring at the computer screen.
With his mind so distracted, he wasn't getting any work done. This annoyed him. He crushed another sugar cube, taking small comfort in the grains falling from his fingertips.
"Ryuuzaki?"
L stiffened at the unexpected voice, but quickly relaxed when he realized who it was that had startled him.
"Yes, Watari?" asked L petulantly. He was embarrassed at being caught unawares and didn't feel up to the older man's company - or anyone's, really.
"This is the second day you haven't been to the investigation room to work with the task force, and Yagami is especially worried about his son."
L tried to repress his irritation, but really, it was futile.
"Tell them what you will. I will not deal with them today," said L shortly.
L heard Watari's tired sigh, but couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't want to deal with anyone today - the taskforce, Watari, Light, and Raito included. He just wanted to left alone with his thoughts, and maybe a large piece of strawberry cheesecake to help make him feel better.
"Very well," sighed Watari, and L was happy to hear the older man take his leave.
He looked up at the wall of monitors, focusing on one in which he had a very good view of Raito.
He looked almost peaceful in his sleep, and L tried to crush the swell of fond feelings for the younger boy. He couldn't let himself get too attached. He had been ignoring these feeling for so long, a little longer wouldn't hurt, at least until this whole ordeal was over - one way or another.
He just couldn't shake the feeling that he would be the one left behind.
"Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Is that why you contacted me? Good. This situation is causing me more than my fair share of undue stress."
"How do you suppose I feel? The boy is -"
"I don't care. Just put your asinine plan into motion. I'm ready for this threat to be abolished once and for all. I've worked too hard and too long for any of my plans to be disrupted."
Light glared at the camera. He hadn't seen Lawli all day, or the day before for that matter, but he just knew that wasn't the case with Lawli. He would bet just about anything that the detective was sulking somewhere behind a computer screen or the camera monitors. He was probably watching Light now, brooding and eating some sort of cake. Lawli always had a habit of sulking and brooding. Light had long ago been used to such things, and after being reintroduced to his friend unknowingly, he was used to this older Lawli's sulking periods too. But that didn't mean he had to like it.
He sighed, his gaze finally leaving the camera where it had been stuck for the past half hour. He wasn't precisely sure how long he had been in confinement, but if he had to guess, it would be close to around two weeks now. He still had a bit before his twenty-three days were up, and he dreaded the time when L would know without a doubt that he was Kira. Of course, it could even be sooner if Rem would show up. He may dread the results, but if the shinigami did show up, he would get her to confirm his identity with L nonetheless. It was less dangerous without him around for everybody involved.
He flexed his sore muscles, but stopped when they stiffened in pain. Damn Lawli. He had been in handcuffs for close to two weeks, and it was hell on his muscles.
Light let his head fall back against the wall he was sitting against with a dull thud. He missed the bloody detective, and he was really rather irritated that L hadn't made his customary appearance. Usually L was in here for hours at a time, talking to him or playing games or even teasing the captive. Light shook his head at the thought. Lawli was such an idiot. Didn't he realize that fraternizing with the enemy wasn't a good idea? That one phrase wasn't so popular because it didn't give good advice, after all.
Not that Light didn't enjoy the company. On the contrary, Light never wanted L to leave, but common sense won out. It would be much safer for Lawli to stay away from him. Light harbored a sociopath bent on destruction and world domination somewhere in his brain. That sort of thing didn't usual bode well for others.
He glared once more at the beeping red light of the camera, hoping the detective who was undoubtedly behind the camera saw just how unpleased he was.
Stupid Lawli.
Suddenly, the red light stopped blinking. Light blinked his eyes in confusion. Did someone turn the cameras off? Was that a malfunction? He hoped so. If it was, then someone would more than likely have to come in and replace the faulty camera, then he'd have something to lift his boredom.
He heard a faint rumble, and the lights flickered madly before going out altogether.
Light swallowed hard at the sudden darkness. It was pitch black, not even a smidgeon of light coming from anywhere. What the hell was going on? Didn't this building have generators? The lights shouldn't have been able to go off. Light had a really bad feeling about all this. Something in his gut told him that things weren't right.
Of course, his panic got worse when he heard the door to his cell opening.
EDITED 7-3-09
A/N: And as much fun as THIS chapter was, the next one's gonna be even more so!
Okay, hopefully that helped make things a tad bit clearer on L's side, but you know, not TOO much, lol.
Sooooo, how about you SAY SOMETHING! lol, I am super eager to hear from you all!