All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the author. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work in any language is permitted without the express written authorization of the author. Thank you. March 2010.

Thanks as ever to my extremely talented beta, xrxdanixrx- Check out her stories Hate Me and Here We Go Again. You rock hun!

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Here we go...Edward's messed up view of the world:

EPOV

Ch 6

I watch her descend the stairs with relative ease. Actually, I watch her perfectly round ass as it sways slightly, and I fight the urge to pin her against the railing and fuck her over it right then and there. In my fucking stupid fantasy haze, I miss one of the steps and almost fall the rest of the way down the stairs. Thank God I catch myself before it happens. Of course, it's at this moment that she chooses to look at me…finally.

She stops at the door and peers over her shoulder, issuing me a smug stare and shaking her head before pushing open the door. I grow instantly harder, if that's possible. I can't remember when a woman has produced this kind of effect on me from a simple look. The thoughts of what I'd turn into if I actually ever got to touch her, are fucking overwhelming.

As I follow her into the cafeteria, I wonder idly what the hell the flowers are doing at reception. Why doesn't she have them in her office? Did the card get lost? Does she not like flowers? My mind starts to race as I see her saunter up to the counter and begin speaking with some young, wide eyed, eager prick. He's hanging on every word she says as he leans across the counter towards her.

I feel my blood begin to boil. Who is this ass? Is she interested in him? He's a punk for God's sake. I make my way to the counter and clear my throat behind her as she finishes laughing with him. Apparently, the guy's a fucking comedian.

"Oh, Edward, this is Mike. He's the chef here. He's opening his own restaurant in a couple of months," she says, sounding all proud of him or something.

"Well, that should be an upgrade for you from here then, Mike." I glare at him and Bella's mouth falls open.

"Edward! Mike is a very talented chef and you are being an ass right now." She scowls at me.

"I'm sorry. Congratulations on the restaurant," I murmur.

"Thanks," he mumbles as he disappears behind the counter and begins to assemble whatever he's making us for lunch.

"That wasn't very nice," she hisses at me as she whirls around, placing her hands on her hips.

"You're right. I need to learn to think before I speak, but it was the truth, Bella."

"You are the most self righteous prick I've ever met. Who the hell do you think you are?" She narrows her eyes at me and I can't help but smile at her. She's trying oh so hard to be viscous and failing miserably. I grin back at her, waiting for her assault to finish. "I mean, what the fuck have you ever done that's so great?" She cocks her head the side.

"I'm saving your forest campaign for one. Honestly, Bella, those poor souls you have in your creative department are terribly lacking in inspiration," I explain.

"And you're just full of inspiration these days, Edward?" She glares at me.

"So it would seem," I answer as she flushes and turns away.

"Here you go, Bells." The vaguely talented boy is back, looking all excited behind the register as he hands her a large paper bag.

"Thanks, Mike. Can you add it to our bill?" Her voice is sweet and soothing and in complete contrast to the acidic tone she seems to have reserved just for me.

"Sure thing." He offers her a smile and I move to take the bag from her.

"Please, allow me." I grab the top of the bag.

"I can handle it, thanks." She jerks the bag away from me and starts for the elevator.

"Not taking the stairs this time?" I muse leaning against the wall.

"My hands are a little full." She glares at me and I lift the bag from her. She releases her iron grip and pushes the bag towards me slightly.

The elevator arrives and she gets in, moving as far to the corner as she can possibly get. I, of course, stand right next to her as she stares forward and bites down on her bottom lip. Gazing down, I can see the rise and fall of her chest. Her v-neck sweater is cut down only enough for me to get a subtle glimpse, leaving my dick twitching and wanting more. The elevator doors open and she rushes out past the flowers as I follow closely.

"Did you know that purple hyacinths mean I'm sorry?" I ask.

She stops and turns around, her mouth partially open. I smirk and brush by her, carrying the bag to the table.

Rose and the design girls are pouring over my sketches as I turn back to see her staring at me in the middle of the hall. I motion for her to come join us, but she shakes her head and disappears into an office. I grab a sandwich for her and move to make my way down the hall, but I'm stopped by Lisa…Lucy…Laura? I'm not even sure.

"I'd like to hear more about your other design projects, Edward," she says, batting her eyes at me and running her hand down my arm. She's brunette and somewhat attractive, but the only brunette I want to think about right now is burying herself behind a door.

"I have a lot of projects on the go. Maybe later." I break from her and stop in front of the door Bella's hiding behind.

I knock and enter at the same time. She's sitting in a chair, leaning over at the waist. Her pant leg is pulled right up to her thigh and she's removing her artificial leg. I take a sharp breath in as she raises her eyes to me.

"Don't you knock?" she asks, leaning the leg against the side of the desk and lowering her pant down.

"I'm sorry, I…I…I thought you might want some lunch," I manage as she continues to glare at me. I can't take my eyes off the leg. It's so life like. I don't know what exactly I was expecting.

"Would you like to touch it?" she asks.

"What?" I finally tear my eyes away from the leg and look at her.

"Isn't that what you came in here for? To get a better look at it?"

"No…I...I…"

She pushes up from the chair and steadies herself on the desk. Picking up the leg, she takes one hop to me and balances a hand on the edge of her desk. She closes the distance between us.

"Here. Feel it." She holds it out to me and I take a step back from her. "It's made of silicone; it's been made to match my other leg with veins and everything. It's life like, don't you think?" She raises an eyebrow to me.

"Bella, that's not why I came in here. I…" I'm stammering like an idiot and I know this is exactly what she expects of me.

"Get out of my office," she seethes at me, narrowing her eyes.

And I just stand there, sandwich dangling from my hand, unable to move. The strength of this woman is staggering. I don't want to leave. I can't leave. Not like this.

"Bella, I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't come in here to…I mean Emmett told me, but that's not why I'm here." My voice is reduced to a mere whisper.

"Why are you here?" She hasn't taken her eyes off me.

"Emmett suggested my work to Rose. I'm an artist." Way to go genius. I couldn't sound more pathetic if I tried.

"Yes, you've said that already." She sinks back into her chair and moves the fabric of the pant back up, slipping the leg back on.

She slides her chair behind her desk and leans back tapping her pen on her keyboard. "Unless you needed something else, Edward, I've got work to do."

I stare back at her and swallow loudly before placing the sandwich on her desk and backing away from her. She shakes her head at me and diverts her attention to her computer.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" And I can see that a mere apology is not going to work. She's got herself convinced that a negative reaction is the only one she's ever going to get.

"You didn't mean to what, Edward? Don't you have some pretty drawings or something to do?" She glares at me with her jaw set.

"Come to dinner with me," I say softly.

"You want me to go to dinner with you? I think we've clearly established that is a complete waste of my time." She looks back to the computer and begins typing.

"You have to eat don't you?" I ask, taking a step towards her desk.

"Not with you I don't."

Fuck, this is going to be difficult.

"I know a great new steak and seafood place that just opened."

"I'm a vegetarian and I'm allergic to seafood," she says, without skipping a beat.

"OK, how about Italian? Japanese? Vegan? I know tons of places we could go," I say and it sounds like I'm close to begging.

"I bet you do. Do you alter all your random one night stands between these restaurants?" She looks up finally from the computer, her eyes darker.

"Bella, I'm really trying here. Cut a guy some slack. It's just dinner."

"It's never just dinner, Edward. I'm sure that's particularly true where you're concerned." She narrows her eyes at me.

"You think you know everything about me, don't you?"

"I'm fairly certain I have a pretty good idea," she hisses and moves back to watching the fascinating computer screen.

"I would have thought that you, of all people, w,, would be the last one to judge somebody. Guess I was wrong." I turn and smirk to myself knowing I've hit a nerve. Knowing that she's too damn stubborn to back down from a challenge like that.

Her voice rings out just before I shut the door. "Edward, wait."

I turn back slowly to her, trying very hard not to issue her the smug ear to ear grin I so want to break out. I knew she'd cave.

"What?" I lean against the handle on the door and try to look like I don't give a shit.

"You forgot your sandwich." She lifts her head to the sandwich on the desk and returns to studying the computer. I stare back at her as she continues working, and slowly walk back to retrieve the sandwich from her desk. Her eyes never leave the computer screen as I close the door quietly.

So I've been turned away…not once, but twice by this ice queen. I scowl at myself because I know that's not what she is. Still, the sting of rejection is something I haven't felt in a very long time, and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't fucking hurt like hell.

Liz or Lacey or whatever the fuck her name is, lingers in the hallway waiting to pounce as I start back down towards the design team.

"There you are, Edward. We were wondering where you had gone off to," she says, s,taring up at me. This is just too fucking easy.

I issue her the most intense, demanding fuck-me-now stare I can muster and she crumbles in front of me.

"Is there a place we can go?" I breathe, leaning towards her as her eyes grow wide.

"Umm." She looks frantically around the office and her eyes fall towards the stairwell. "This way." She hurries to the door and I stalk after her. She pushes the door open and it closes behind us with a thud.

I pin her to the wall, running my hands roughly over her breasts. "Is it safe in here?"

She nods. "Bella's the only one who uses the stairs and she just came back."

She breathes into my ear and plants hot, wet kisses on my cheek. I feel slightly nauseated, my head is spinning as I hike her skirt up and shove her panties out of the way, plunging my fingers into her. She moans and lifts her leg around my waist arching her back towards me.

"Mmm, Edward," she moans.

I shut my eyes and try not to imagine Bella. It's Linda or Loretta, writhing against the wall and moaning my name. I should be fucking hard as a Goddamn rock by now, but for the first time in my life, that's far from what I am. I think I'm going to throw up.

I curl my fingers up and circle my thumb around her clit. "So good," she murmurs. She's got no fucking idea. I'm not even trying here. I pinch her nipple with my free hand, harder than I know I should through her sweater as she breathes into my ear.

"Just let go," I growl at her. It sounds like a demand more than anything, because quite frankly, it is. I don't know how much more I can take. Thankfully, I feel her convulse around me as her leg drops from my waist. I push away from her and she reaches down to the zipper on my jeans. I place my hand over hers and pin it back over her head.

"I don't think so, Lara. You're nice and all, but I've got nothing with me." I hold her arms against the wall and whisper into her ear. "Maybe some other time."

I leave her there panting and only mildly satisfied as I bolt back into the office and make a b-line for the washroom.

What the fuck am I doing? What's happening to me? I slam the door to the stall shut and rake down my jeans, taking my flaccid dick in my hand and pumping hard. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to imagine Linda's face…wait, I don't even think that's her name. I mean whatever her name is, she's not hideous and I should be able to get hard because that's what I do. But as much as I try, the only face I can see is Bella's. I harden instantly, pumping harder as I spill out into the toilet.

xxxxxx

By the time midnight comes, I'm panting in front of three more finished canvasses with Shostakovich's 5th Symphony blaring through the loft. I can't fucking stop painting. It just pours out of me. The blood is coursing through my veins, fuelling my frenzy. My arms ache, the muscles in my back are straining from the sheer power I've put into my strokes. Time, space, and reason have been completely lost to me for the last ten hours.

The loft looks like a cyclone has gone through it. Paint splatters the floor, the walls, me. I take in the reflection that's evident in the window, and I cringe. I look like I've gone utterly insane. My eyes are wide and dilated. My hair is a fucked up mess as I stand staring at myself, trying to steady my breathing.

When I turn back to the finished paintings, I know its all worth it. Every ounce of frustration and angst, want and desire, disappointment and rejection is portrayed vividly in front of me. I dip my brush in black and paint my initials in the corner of each of the canvasses. I drop the brush to the floor and take the stairs up to my empty bedroom.

One thought invades my senses as I drift off…I wonder if she's crying herself to sleep tonight?

Chapter End Notes

The brilliant Shostakovich Symphony No.5-do yourself a favour and check it out:

www(dot) youtube(dot)com/watch?v=ogJFXqYEYd8

Oh no, now what's he going to do?

Next update soon

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