A/N: Heeeey you guys!
OH MY GOD! MORE FANART! Seriously, check out my profile! It's just suddenly BURSTING with fanart, and the links are all there! Thank you so much ileranerak and LxLight is the best! for the awesome awesome AWESOME fanart! It's amazing and beautiful and oh so ooey gooey wonderful!
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Okay, am I missing something? I feel like I am. Hope not, but I can always come back and edit.
(((came back to edit! -_-::!)))
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or its awesome theme song. Seriously, look it up. Very classy cool!
. . . .
XD
Here you go, guys.
It's THE chapter you've all been waiting for.
The Art of Drowning
Lover's Quarrel
Tank blearily cracked open his eyes, trying to blink away the built up grit that had accumulated over the past hour he'd been asleep. He glared at the mobile phone sitting innocently on his bedside table, the theme song from Cowboy Bebop warbling out from its speakers.
"Goddamn geriatric fuck," he muttered, grabbing the phone and flipping it open.
"Yeah?" he grunted, rubbing at his eyes.
"Tank, my friend. I trust that all went well last evening?" came the garbled voice on the other end.
Tank rolled his eyes. Some people were so picky about who got to hear their real voice.
"You could say that. Ran into a little snag, though. Sorry if he was someone you knew, but I figured you'd want me to keep your ass covered," yawned Tank. He wondered if there was any pancake mix left. Man, he wanted some pancakes.
There was a pause on the other end. "I'm afraid I do not understand."
Pancakes with blueberries . . .
"Huh? Oh, yeah, that guy. The one that was sleeping in the same bed with Layfield. Yeah, had to scratch him too. Sorry, but he saw me kill Layfield. Don't worry though, I got rid of them both. Already burned the bodies and everything, so you're good to go. Though, I hope no one's going to miss that guy. I'd probably plant a suicide note, or send yourself a postcard, or something. You know, just in case," said Tank, trying to keep the grin off his face.
Dead silence greeted his explanation. Tank bit his knuckle. Now was not the time to start laughing. He straightened his face, thinking about serious things - like pancakes. He really didn't want to drive all the way to the store. Maybe there was some mix -
"There was a man in bed with Layfield?"
The voice distorter really didn't convey emotions very well, but Tank imagined that the old man was surprised. Surprised . . . surprise . . . surprise parties . . . cake . . . sprinkles? Did he have sprinkles? And could he cook them in a pancake? Man, that would be an awesome pancake.
"Oh, what? Uh, yeah, he was a pretty weird looking fellow. He had some crazy-ass black hair that stuck out every which a way and bags under his eyes like you wouldn't believe. I was surprised to find the dude sleeping. Looked like he didn't partake much, if you know what I mean. And he was sleeping in his clothes too. White shirt, blue jeans. At least he took off his shoes, huh? Yeah, he's dead. Like I said, sorry if you knew him, but you always pay me extra to leave no witnesses, right?" said Tank.
The man on the other line made a strangled noise, and through the voice distorter, it sounded particularly odd. Sort of like a dying giraffe, or something. Tank scratched his head. What would a dying giraffe sound like anyway? Would the old man sound like a dying giraffe if Tank killed him? Well, the old man wasn't dying now, at least Tank thought he wasn't, but who could tell with old people? Maybe Tank would get a chance to experiment one day, see if the old man would sound like that again if Tank took his -
"He's dead?!"
Tank almost, almost snorted. "Well, yeah. What was I supposed to do? Ask how he liked my work and give him a card?"
The other line went dead, and Tank smiled brightly to himself.
Whoever that funny looking guy was, he must be important. That old man never just hung up like that. Ah, well, it was none of his business, and besides, that just made it all the more fun.
A sudden crash sounded from upstairs. Tank looked at the ceiling. Huh. Probably from the guest bedroom, if Tank was figuring right. It sounded like it was from that part of the house, after all. Maybe he should -
Now it sounded like someone was getting their head rammed against the floor.
Tank smirked. Who was he to butt into a lover's quarrel, anyway? Ha, lover's quarrel. Asian guy seemed awfully protective of the weird looking dude. Tank wasn't completely oblivious to how Asian guy kept touching the other man's hair. Maybe it was a lover's quarrel.
Oh, now he could hear shouting. And, yes, there's another thump. He chuckled, snuggling back down underneath his blanket.
Let them have their lover's quarrel.
Tank had much more important things to do than to bother those two.
L hated the supernatural.
Absolutely despised it.
Ever since he was a young child, the supernatural had always been a source of great fear for him. There was nothing natural about the supernatural, and he couldn't really see what was so 'super' about it either.
Supernatural things could not be rationalized through logic or careful calculations. It took a certain amount of faith to deal with the supernatural, because nothing about it would or could ever be explained.
L was a man of science, of logic, of cold, harsh reality.
He was not a man of faith.
However, there had always been a lingering doubt, a fear, that would creep upon him in the dark hours of the night.
L would then calmly turn on a light, and his fears would retreat.
He began work on the Kira case knowing that the percentage of Kira killing through supernatural means was relatively high. However, L was never one to back down from a challenge, and if part of that challenge involved overcoming his fear of the supernatural, then L was just that much more determined to win.
Then came the shinigami, and suddenly, the supernatural wasn't something lurking in the darkened corners of his room at night.
It was real.
It was tangible.
And it was dangerous.
The idea that gods of death actually existed had - initially - frightened him badly. However, as time passed and more was discovered about the grotesque creatures, L wasn't so frightened anymore. He couldn't logically explain how the shinigami existed, but he could see what it looked like, how it acted, how it killed, and that gave him knowledge. Knowledge truly was power, and that power enabled him to overcome his fear of the creatures.
But ghosts . . .?
Ghosts were another issue entirely.
And the ghost of Yagami Raito was staring down at him with the most peculiar expression. He looked like he was either going to retch or cry, but the expression was entirely frightening all the same. So L did the only thing he knew of when threatened with something that scared him badly.
He lashed out.
And L was surprised to see that ghosts could bleed.
He really should have expected it, but he didn't.
He really should have ducked, but he didn't.
And L's foot crashed into his face with lightning speed.
"OWW! SHIT!" yelled Light, grasping his nose. Blood spurted through his fingers.
L jumped to the floor, and crotched in that ridiculous fighting stance he always took, staring at him with wide eyes. Light could barely make out the look of shock etched into the other man's face through the tears of pain that had welled in his eyes.
"I think you broke my nose!" exclaimed Light, glowering as best as he could at L. He wasn't so nervous about the other man's reaction to all of this now. Oh hell no. Frankly, he was in so much pain that he didn't even care what the other man would think about finding Light hovering over him.
Light's anger was spurred by the throbbing pain in his nose.
He didn't think that L was so stunned that he wouldn't move, but Light was vengefully satisfied when L was thrown back from the vicious punch that Light landed on the other man's face.
L slammed into the wall with a grunt, using the solid surface to push off quickly and throw himself back at Light, who was prepared, his fist slamming into L's stomach right as L's foot connected with Light's hip. L got him again in the chin as the detective went down, and Light's head snapped back, blood newly flowing.
The momentum of L's kick to the chin threw him to the ground along with L, who was suddenly on top of him.
The fight continued on the floor, both of them grappling, rolling over the other - punches and kicks and elbows and knees landing whatever hit on the other they could.
After a particularly vicious kick to the chest, Light decided it was about time to diffuse the situation before any greater damage was done to his person.
"WOULD YOU STOP IT!?" he finally yelled. Light accidentally elbowed L in the temple while trying to disentangle himself from the other man. L didn't seem to believe it was an accident, grabbing onto Light.
"YOU'RE - SUPPOSED - TO BE - DEAD!" shouted L, emphasizing his point by slamming Light's head against the floor repeatedly, keeping Light pinned down with the weight of his body.
"SO!?" exclaimed Light, slamming his own head against L's when the man had managed to top him.
The force of the collision sent the detective reeling, and Light managed to free himself, rolling to his feet, but he was dizzy and wobbled.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO?! SO?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" yelled L, standing up to face Light.
Light felt the anger dissipate with amazing speed, just as quickly being replaced with guilt. Light could actually see what his death had done to Lawli, and his heart ached at the pain that was very apparent in his friend's eyes, no matter how hard L tried to hide it.
Light tried to wipe the blood out of his eyes and calm his wheezy, heavy breathing.
L stood, glaring at him fiercely, his fists clenched and breathing just as labored as Light's was. Light noticed a fine sheen of sweat coating L's skin, and though he hadn't managed to draw blood, Light winced at seeing own blood smeared across L's once pristine white shirt.
Suddenly, L crumpled to the floor. Light started forward, his arm outstretched, but stopped and let his arm fall back to his side when it was apparent that L had not fallen to the ground because Light had managed to seriously hurt him.
Light all the sudden felt very unsure of himself.
L hugged his knees in tight, staring at Light with wide eyes. Confusion, anger, pain, and grief warred for dominance across his face before finally settling on a cold, wary mask that hid all of L's conflicting emotions.
Light took a step forward.
L flinched, causing Light to freeze in his movements.
Not really knowing what else to do, Light slowly lowered himself to the floor.
"Ryuuzaki?" asked Light hesitantly, relieved that he hadn't alluded to L's true identity in a killer for hire's house, and even more relieved he hadn't slipped up and called the detective 'Lawli' as he was prone to do sometimes in his mind.
L closed his eyes tight, ignoring him.
Light all but held his breath before the other man's eyes snapped open once again, expectancy melting to despair upon seeing that Light was still sitting quietly a few feet away.
"I've lost my mind," whispered L, his voice heavy with sorrow. The man's mask cracked just enough for Light to see a devastated expression flash across L's face. It made Light's heart twinge.
"No, you haven't," assured Light, shaking his head slightly.
"You're dead," continued L, staring unblinkingly at him, and Light was surprised to hear L say such a thing so calmly. It was a contrast to a few moments ago.
"No, I'm not," replied Light, wincing slightly.
"I held your dead body in my arms, I felt you grow cold and stiff, I sent your body to the morgue, where it stayed until your funeral, and then I buried you Yagami Raito. I buried you six feet under ground. So why have you come back to haunt me?" asked L quietly, almost desperately.
Light saw that L was watching him, taking in every nuance, every twitch, every flinch as those words silently tore at Light's heart.
"Well -" began Light haltingly, bracing himself, "What you say is true, but I wasn't really dead. It was all a ruse, I -"
"A ruse?" interrupted L.
Light paused, before nodding in agreement.
"You did not take your own life?" pressed L, leaning forward.
Light's eyes widened in surprise.
"What?! Kill myself?! I would never kill myself!" shouted Light, shocked that L would think such a thing.
"You were killed by Kira," stated L, his voice once again monotonous and unemotional.
Light hesitated.
"You are Kira," continued L pointedly.
Light stared at the other man, at a loss for words. Luckily, L saved him from responding.
"Misa is the second Kira, and she would never lift a finger against you. Higuchi was the third Kira, and you killed him. You, a healthy young man, died of a heart attack all by yourself in an enclosed, fortified room that locked from the outside. The only obvious conclusion that I can draw from these facts, taking into consideration that you are the first Kira, is . . ." L trailed off, biting his thumb viciously.
"That I committed suicide," finished Light quietly, understanding how L could have come to that conclusion.
"Correct," said L around his thumb.
"But I thought you didn't believe I was Kira?" asked Light, his mind reeling at this turn of events.
"I did not want to believe that you were Kira. When you died, I assumed that Kira had murdered you," said L.
"What changed your mind?" asked Light, confused.
"Besides the fact that you are alive and sitting in front of me? Rem."
Rem? "What did she do?"
"She confirmed to me the nature of your true identity. She was extremely heartened by your death," commented L. It seemed as if the other man had well and regained his composure. He watched Light warily.
Light shrugged. "I'm not surprised. Rem hated me."
"So I gathered."
L stared at him, and Light stared at the floor. An awkward silence descended upon them. It was L that broke it.
"Are you a ghost?" he asked, quirking his head the slightest bit.
The question was so unexpected that Light snorted in amused surprise. "Obviously not. From what I hear, ghosts don't get into fist fights."
"Not that long ago, killer notebooks and gods of death were nothing but fairytales. You were dead, Raito. I know you were dead," said L, his fingers twitching against his pants leg.
"Well, that was the idea. I was actually under the influence of pentalinium oroxide," said Light slowly, wondering if L knew what the compound did.
"Pentalinium oroxide?" muttered L, his eyes widening slightly in understanding.
"Yeah. Works like a charm."
L was silent, and he studied Light with dark eyes. Light stopped himself from fidgeting under the heavy gaze. Right before the silence turned particularly unnerving, L spoke, his voice heavy.
"I can only assume that this is all apart of an elaborate scheme that you have masterminded in order to continue your work as Kira. With Yagami Raito dead, it will be much harder for Kira to be caught."
Light blinked. "Wait, that's not exactly -"
"And you somehow found out my location, infiltrated the premises, kidnapped me, and took me back to your place of refuge. Towards what end, I am unsure. However, I suspect that you intend to kill me," continued L, as if Light hadn't spoken.
Light's jaw slackened. "I'm not going to - !"
"I did not foresee this turn of events, but I suppose it would only be logical for you to cover all bases. My death is a necessity. Hmm, congratulation, Kira. It seems that you have won," said L, his face hardened and his voice dead.
Light was infuriated to see L looking like he was preparing for death. Even the detective's consistently bad posture straightened out a bit, as if Light was going to whip out a knife and gut him right then and there.
This made Light especially angry.
"Now wait just a minute! You've got it all wrong!" shouted Light, frustration lacing his words.
L said nothing, shooting Light a knowing look. It was obvious that L did not believe him.
Light slammed his fist against the floor. "Why do you always have to be such an idiot?!"
L frowned. "I assure you, Kira. My intelligence level far exceeds -"
"Fuck your intelligence level! You're an idiot!" shouted Light.
"If you wish to continue our fight, Kira, all you had to do was ask," said L quietly. Light growled.
"Goddamnit, Lawli! Why can't you just -" Light stopped himself, stunned.
L froze, zeroing in on his slip like a bloodhound.
"What did you just call me?" asked L quickly. It was apparent that L had a good idea of just what Light had said - if L clenching his blue jeans so hard his knuckles were turning white was anything to go by.
Light stared at L, at a loss for words. What could he say? He really didn't want to tell L the truth now. He was hoping to space it out, tell him after all of this 'I thought you were dead' stuff had blown over.
"What did you say, Kira?" repeated L, and he wasn't monotonous any longer. L's voice held a dangerous edge to it.
"I said . . ." Light trailed off. What could he say? Damn.
"Yes?" demanded L harshly.
Light sighed. "Look, Ryuuzaki, just let me explain -"
"What did you say?!"
"I said Lawliet, okay?!" shouted Light, praying the detective would buy it.
L's face remained hardened. "It didn't sound like Lawliet!"
"If you'd just give me time to explain without you interrupting me at every turn, then maybe you'd already know!" exclaimed Light, resisting the urge to punch the infuriating detective. He was ready to throw himself at the other man.
L sensed Light's growing hostility, and he held up a hand to staunch Light's movements in a parody of calm. Fuck Lawli. Light could tell that the detective was just about as calm as Light was. L was just better at hiding it. Light was positively itching to punch the infuriating man once again.
"Fine. I will listen, but your explanation better be good," acquiesced L, glaring.
Light blew out his breath in a huff. Stupid Lawli.
"Fine then. You know I was Kira -"
"Was?" interrupted L, giving Light an incredulous look. It was obvious that the other man found it hard to believe him.
"Damn it, Ryuuzaki. Just shut up and let me talk," yelled Light.
L didn't respond, and Light took that as his sign to continue.
"I was Kira, but I'm not now. I can't explain exactly how the Death Note works, but I'm pretty sure that it influences the owner, changing them so subtly that the owner won't even know it's happening until it's too late. By that time, the owner won't even care.
When you put me in confinement the first time, I gave up ownership of the Death Note. When someone gives up ownership, they lose all of their memories associated with it. I ceased to be Kira in that cell, and when I touched Higuchi's notebook, my memories returned to me. I was Kira again, but Kira's influence over me was weakened. My memories had been separated for too long, and then when I realized -" Light suddenly stopped.
How could he explain to L that the reason Light had been able to overcome the darkness within himself was because of his desire to protect Lawli from Kira?
L's eyes narrowed. "It was when you said my name, my real name, wasn't it? What does my name have to do with this?"
Everything. Light wished he could say it, but his throat was constricted.
Suddenly, L sighed, his tense posture falling away. He slumped and rubbed his face, looking exhausted. It was such a human reaction that Light was momentarily surprised. He had never seen L the detective so expressive in his actions before. It was like Light was looking at Lawli as he once had been.
"I am very tired of the games we play, Raito-kun. I do not know if you are lying or telling the truth. I am not a man of faith, and your previous actions have won you very little trust with me. All I want is the truth, Raito-kun. All I want to know is the truth," pleaded L.
Light swallowed hard, knewing that the time had finally come. "T-The truth? You want the truth?"
L nodded, staring intensely into Light's eyes.
"I didn't want to be Kira anymore when I realized that my greatest adversary was also my greatest friend," whispered Light.
There. That was the truth - every single word of it.
"Your greatest friend?" echoed L faintly.
"Yeah, my best friend. My only friend . . . I thought you were dead, too, you know," said Light, his voice suddenly thick with emotion.
L looked confused. "You thought I was dead? That doesn't make any sense. Why - ?"
Light shook his head roughly. "It's me, Lawli. It's Light."
EDITED: 7-4-09
A/N: OH, sniffle, tear! I've been waiting for this moment practically the entire story!
I hope it didn't disappoint! This chapter gave me some trouble, for sure. I've never rewritten a chapter so many times before! Ugh!
So, let me know your opinion on the matter!
XD I suspect that I shall hit 1,000 reviews with this pretty soon. Man, that is exciting. I can't believe I've actually reached a life goal 7 years in the making. XP
So, SAY SOMETHING, even if it's just a little something, and if anyone feels up to doing fanart or youtube videos, please, have at it. It really brings the story to life for me when I get those awesome visuals, and I know everyone else loves looking at the art too!
And once again, thank you all for your continued support, gracious words and death threats, beautiful fanart, and for helping me reach over 1,000 reviews!!!!!!!!
I love you guys. 3