All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the author. Plagiarism is theft. No copying or reproduction of this work in any language is permitted without the express written authorization of the author. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Thank you. May 2010.
Thanks as ever to my amazing beta, xrxdanixrx, who's also provided awesome banner on Twilighted! She's the best!
Thanks to all reading and reviewing.
Let's see what Bella thinks with a hangover…
BPOV
Chapter 17
I glance at Edward's car in the rear-view mirror while I drive to the vintage store, and I curse Alice more than I normally would for her stupid shopping idea. Even though I told Edward my hangover is under control, I actually could use some more sleep…preferably with him.
Oh my God! I slept with Edward last night! What's even more incredible, I didn't have a panic attack this morning. That would have just been the icing on the cake now, wouldn't it? What was I thinking? Oh, right, I wasn't thinking…I was wasted, and there he was, unfathomably helping me. I smile in the mirror and watch as he turns and disappears down a side street.
Whoa, wait. Yeah, he helped me last night, but do I really think Edward has changed? I mean is that even possible? Was that man last night really him? I feel like it could be, but I've been disappointed so many times before. Do I dare allow myself to believe? I shake my head with the knowledge that my judgment is likely clouded by the amount of alcohol I consumed.
While I sit at the red light, my mind wanders back to last night and the kiss. Holy hell! Even in my semi-drunken state, that kiss was fucking amazing. I don't remember ever being kissed like that…that's probably because I haven't been. Not a kiss in five years. Fuck, I'm pathetic. I've got no idea how to do this, emotionally or physically.
I can't even talk to anyone about this. There's a fun conversation to have. "Oh, Jake, I know you had a thing for me, but now I think I might want to fuck Edward, and I was just wondering, well, how do I go about doing that? You know, with me only having one leg and all."
Jake! Oh shit! I was supposed to run with him this morning.
A car honks from behind me, scaring the hell out of me. Apparently, in my Edward-induced haze, the light has turned green. I accelerate down the street, stick my earpiece in, and dial Jake. He picks up on the second ring.
"Hey, Jake. It's Bella."
"Hey, Bells. How are you doing this morning? Slept in, I see?" he asks sarcastically.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I had a bit of a rough night."
"So I hear," he says flatly.
"What?" I question. What does that mean?
"Did that Edward guy not tell you I came by this morning?" he asks.
"No! Wait, you met Edward?" Oh shit. Edward never said anything about that. Oh God! Could this be any more awkward?
"Yeah, he opened your door this morning," he says flatly.
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh. You haven't mentioned him before," Jake says quietly.
"He's a friend." A friend I'd like to…
"Really? Do all of your guy friends open the door at six-thirty in the morning? I don't remember ever having that particular pleasure, Bella." Jake sounds pissed off.
"It's not like that, Jake."
"It kind of looked that way to me," he says angrily.
"He helped me last night. I was drunk and …actually, I'm not sure why I have to explain myself to you, Jake. I just called to apologize for missing the run. We still on for Monday?" I ask.
"Whoa, hold on. He helped you last night? Like with your prosthetic?" His voice raises several octaves.
"Yeah, he did. It's a good thing he was there, actually." Silence greets me on the other end of the line. And now, I've managed to annoy Jake, although why he's so upset, I'm not entirely sure. "So, Monday morning?" I ask again hopefully.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Just be careful, Bella. Please," he says seriously.
"Thanks, Jake. You know I will." I end the call, remove my earpiece, and continue towards the trendy art district where Alice's coveted vintage shop resides. I try to wrap my head around the warm feeling that seems to be engulfing me. It's foreign; it feels peculiar and comforting at the same time.
Alice and Rose are standing in front of the vintage shop, sipping lattes, when I arrive. Alice has dark sunglasses on that are four times the size of her face. Rose just looks typically annoyed.
"We were beginning to wonder if you were going to make it," Rose says sarcastically.
"I'm here, aren't I?" I ask, joining them in front of the shop.
"I guess it's safe to say that Edward got you home last night?" Alice asks, whipping her sunglasses off and narrowing her eyes at me.
"Yeah, that was an interesting message you left on my phone. I think I'm going to keep it and play it back to you when the time's right. I almost forgot how much I enjoy it when you're drunk," Rose says, smirking and handing me over what I hope is something with a lot of caffeine.
"Are we shopping, or are you guys just going to give me the third degree all morning?" I ask, taking a sip. Oh thank the Lord for caffeine.
"Oh, come on, Bella! You don't actually think that we're going anywhere until you spill about what happened last night," Alice says sternly.
"Didn't you tell me they were getting a new shipment of clothes or something at this fabulous store? Isn't that why I'm here at this hour and not still in bed with Edward?" I ask sarcastically.
"Oh my God! You slept with him!" Alice practically screams at the top of her lungs.
"Yes, yes I did. But not in the way you think. We just slept," I say, feeling my face turn red.
"You're blushing. You didn't just sleep. What the fuck happened?" Rose asks, studying me closely.
"I was drunk. I needed help with my prosthetic. He helped me and we fell asleep. That's all," I say, trying to sound nonchalant.
"That's all? That's all? That is sure as fuck not all, Bella!" Rose yells.
"He helped you? Oh my God! This is massive!" Alice shouts.
"Yeah, it kind of is," I say, laughing at the two of them.
"You saw his dick?" Rose asks, her mouth gapping open.
"What? No! Of course not! God, Rose!" I say, hitting her in the arm.
"I don't believe you. Look at you! You're blushing and not looking me in the eye," Rose accuses. Oh, they are just not going to let this go.
"Ok, so I didn't actually technically see it. I did see a rather large bulge through his jeans this morning, though," I admit.
"And?" Rose presses.
"And what?" I ask. Do they seriously want me to talk about what I think about Edward's…
"Is it massive?" Rose asks, lifting her eyebrows to me.
"Rose!"
"Come on, Bella," Rose urges.
"It's looks to be...rather...large," I admit.
"He helped you with your prosthetic?" Alice asks in shock.
"Yeah. He did. I'm pretty sure I would have spent the night on the floor in the bathroom if he wasn't there," I acknowledge.
"Oh my God!" Alice shrieks, jumping up and down. "I'm so happy for you!"
"Alice, relax. It was one night and I was drunk." Yes, let's try to keep this in perspective, Bella.
"Yeah, but this is a big step, Bella. You know it is," Alice says, smiling at me.
"I'm trying not to read too much into it," I mutter.
"Did you kiss him?" Rose asks.
"He kissed me," I mumble. Alice squeals, awakening a couple of pigeons and sending them flying off their post above the vintage store. "Alice! Calm the fuck down!"
"When are you seeing him again? You have to see him again!" she gushes.
"Tonight, actually. I'm going for dinner at his place," I say, while they stare back at me in disbelief.
"Dinner? What?" Rose asks.
"Yeah, dinner. You know? Food, wine, that sort of thing," I explain, enjoying the fact that I've rendered Rose almost speechless.
"Do you have condoms?" Rose asks seriously.
"Rose! I do not need condoms!" Although, I really wish I did.
"Bella, this is Edward Cullen we're talking about. He's fucking hot and you need to get laid," Rose says firmly.
"Can we just go shopping, please? Jesus, you guys are insane. You're more excited about this than I am," I say, starting for the stairs to the store.
"Of course we're excited, Bella. This is major for you," Alice says excitedly.
"Please, can you try not to interfere? I mean last night and your crazy plan… that could have back fired pretty damn fast. Please, just let me do this my way. I know you guys mean well, but I really just want to take this - whatever this is - slow. Ok?" I'm practically pleading with the pair of them.
"We just want to see you happy, Bella," Rose says softly.
"Well, I'm happy, ok? So, lets shop and no more meddling," I say firmly.
Alice runs quickly into the store, while Rose wraps her arm around my shoulder. "I'll give you my stash of condoms, Bella. I've got loads," she says confidently. I roll my eyes and follow her into the store.
Three torturous hours later, I emerge with a dress for the charity auction, and a "make him drool" outfit that Alice insists I must have for dinner tonight. I'm not entirely sure what's so drool worthy about it, but Alice clearly likes it, and Rose nods in approval, so it can't be all that bad.
At this point, I need a nap if I'm going to be able to function at all and keep my wits about me at Edward's.
Alice is insisting on dragging us to get another coffee, which, if I'm being honest, I could really use right now. Another jolt of caffeine in lieu of the Advil that I mistakenly forgot to bring with me is going to do me some good. We take the short walk down to the Cornerstone Cafe and I find us a booth, stowing our shopping bags under the table while Alice and Rose move to the counter to order.
While I stare out the window, there is a flurry of activity at the front door as a thin woman in a trench coat and black patent leather stilettos barrels through with…holy fuck! You've got to be kidding me. My eyes meet his and I panic. I know I was really drunk last night, but I remember those eyes; piercing, blue, playful, and dangerous at the same time.
I try to hide behind the miniscule menu on the table, but it's pointless. I can only pray that he doesn't see me. Whatever conversation we had last night is a blur, but it also served to piss Edward off as I do distinctly remember him practically sprinting after…Jordan? Jason? Fuck, I think his name is James.
I try to sink lower into the booth and disappear, but he's not looking away. He quirks his head to the side, a playful, dangerous smile on his face. He says something to the platinum blonde, who heads to stand in line. His smirk widens, and he starts towards our booth.
Oh fuck. I stare out the window, trying to keep my head down. Please don't stop, please don't stop. Please don't stop.
"Hi there, pretty lady." Oh fuck, just kill me now.
"Hi," I mutter, desperately seeking out Alice and Rose, who are stuck in the never ending line from hell.
"You don't remember me from last night, do you?" he asks, his voice low and deep.
"Things are kind of sketchy from last night," I admit, looking up at him. He's wearing a dark distressed jean jacket over a navy blue t-shirt and worn jeans with paint splatters on them. I don't remember his short, cropped blonde hair, but oh do I remember those eyes. I feel myself start to panic. He makes me nervous and tense and I have no idea why.
"Hmm, I'm not surprised. I never did get your name," he says, leaning on the table.
"I'm pretty sure there's a good reason for that," I mutter, even though I don't really remember what it is. I get a brief memory flash…something about a game he wanted me to play. My guard immediately goes up, almost an automatic defense mechanism. Being a police chief's daughter has its advantages, particularly when I'm sober and am able to think clearly. I miss Dad. I wonder if he would have liked Edward.
James slips into the booth beside me and I shift towards the window. "I'm James, if you don't remember. And you would be?" he asks, his eyes are intense, scorching almost, like he's looking through me.
I find myself drawn in, almost like I'm hypnotized or something, and inexplicably, I answer him. "Bella."
"Hmm. Beautiful. It suits you. You'd make a fantastic subject," he says, shifting his torso towards me.
"Excuse me?" Whoa, fantastic subject for what? I feel another wave of unease course through me.
"I'm an artist. I do mostly portraits, kind of cutting edge stuff. I'm having a showing in a few weeks, Bella. You should come." James is an artist? Oh, hold on, maybe Edward knows him?
"I'm kind of clueless when it comes to art," I admit.
He lets out a low, eerie laugh. "I can teach you," he suggests, quirking an eyebrow, and somehow, I think James is talking about more than just art. The thought sends an uneasy full body shiver down my spine.
"That's ok; I'm actually not really interested in art shows." I look frantically to the line where Alice and Rose have thankfully moved to order.
"Well, maybe if you saw mine, you would be interested. I own the art store down the street. You should come by sometime. I mean, if you're allowed," he taunts.
"If I'm allowed?" What the hell does that mean?
"Yeah, your boyfriend, from last night. He didn't look too happy that you were talking to me," James says.
"Edward? Oh, he's not my boyfriend." Fuck, why did I just say that? "Is that why you ran away? You were scared of Edward?"
He face falls; his eyes darken and he leans towards me. "Bella, I'm not scared of anything," he says intently.
"So, why did you disappear, then?" I ask, like I'm almost taunting him or something.
"I don't like to share," he says, his eyes locked to mine. Share? What does that mean? Actually, I'm fairly certain I don't want to know.
"James?" the crusty blonde yells to him from the line, and he holds up a hand, waving her off.
"Just think about dropping by the shop. You can take a look at my work, and then decide if you want to go to the show," he says, sliding to the edge of the booth.
"Thanks, but I think I'll pass," I say dismissively.
"Bella?" Rose asks, arriving at the table and glaring at James. He should be dead with the look she's giving him. He slips out of the booth and stands, allowing Alice and Rose to sit.
"Guys, this is James. James, Alice and Rose," I say.
"Nice to meet you, ladies." He smiles, still not diverting his steady gaze from me.
Rose raises a threatening eyebrow. "How do you know Bella?" she asks, passing me a coffee.
"We met last night," he says.
"Last night?" Rose asks, glaring at me.
"Yeah, James was outside the bar last night," I explain.
"Oh, do you work there?" Alice asks.
"No. I don't work there. I'm an artist," he says, still staring at me. I look away from him finally and try to control my racing heart.
Rose's eyes grow wide and she gets that determined look on her face. Oh shit. She's hatching some plan. "An artist, eh? Do you know Edward Cullen?" she asks.
James' eyes narrow slightly. "Yeah. I know Edward. He buys supplies from my shop. His work is…interesting," he says thoughtfully. "Very intense and vibrant." James sounds like he's a fan of Edward's work and I momentarily wonder if I've misread him.
"Really?" Rose raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "He's donating one of his pieces to an auction we're having to raise money for the Boreal Forest. Have you heard about it?" she asks.
James finally tears his eyes away from me and looks at Rose. "No, can't say that I have," he says coolly.
The blonde saunters over, joining James at the table. "Jane, you didn't tell me you had Cullen donating art to some charity auction. Where was my invite to do that?" he asks, glaring at her.
"What are you talking about? Edward doesn't do charity work," she says definitively. Who the hell is this ice queen? Jesus, could she be more pretentious?
I think I can hear Rose growling from across the table. "It's for a good cause and trust me; he's doing it. He gave us his word," Rose says, cocking her head to the side at Jane.
"Edward never said anything to me about this," she sneers. Oh, Jane doesn't look happy right now and I wonder why she cares anyway.
"Well, there's nothing stopping you from donating something of yours, James. This event is big. It's being covered by the press, and there will be a ton of exposure. We're expecting to sell out the tickets by the end of next week," Rose says, practically daring him to say yes.
"Rose!" I hiss at her. Oh, something tells me Edward isn't going to be happy about this.
"What? It's a good idea, Bella. We'll raise even more money for the campaign," Rose says firmly. I sigh. Rose is right. The more items we have, the more money we raise, but somehow, I'm not looking forward to explaining this to Edward.
James looks at Jane and then back between Rose and me. "When is this auction?" he asks.
"In four weeks," Alice says.
His face falls slightly. "I usually take a lot longer with my pieces," James says, looking worried.
"Edward didn't seem to have a problem with the timeline," Rose challenges. Oh for the love of God. The woman is a force to be reckoned with.
James narrows his eyes at her. "I'll do it," he says firmly.
"The fuck you will, James! Your showing is only a few weeks away. Do you know how hard I've worked at promoting this?" Jane asks, seething at him.
"This will give it more exposure, Jane. And the last time I checked, you didn't own me," he snarls, glaring at her. Oh, he looks mad. Really, really mad. His nostrils flare; he clenches his fists and grits his teeth, trying to remain in control. Jane stares back at him, silently threatening with a mere look. These two are like sticks of dynamite just waiting to explode. I wouldn't want to cross either one of them.
"Oh, I can talk to my editor and see if he wants to run a piece on you. We're doing one on Edward," Alice offers, looking excited. "Have you talked to him about that again, Bella?"
"I'll talk to him tonight," I mumble.
Jane looks like she's about to lose it. "Son of a bitch! I swear to God that man is going to drive me to an early grave," she yells, slamming the coffees on the table. She whips out her cell phone from her expensive hand bag and marches out the door, her red painted nails flying over the buttons.
Mental note: don't get on Jane's bad side. She's intimidating, to say the least. I have a feeling Jane is the kind of woman who gets what she wants, and isn't afraid to steam roll anyone who stands in her way of getting it.
"What was that all about?" Rose asks.
"She's a bit of a control freak. She represents Cullen, too, and apparently, he neglected to tell her about this little auction," James says, looking kind of happy that Edward seems to be out of Jane's good books for the time being.
"Well, I guess we should check out your work," Rose says. "I mean, I'm sure it's good. We just need to promote it properly when we advertise."
"Sure. Come by my shop and I'll be happy to show you. It's just down the street," James says, staring back at me. I feel another full body shiver as he picks up the two cups that Jane slammed down on the table.
"We'll stop by," Rose says. "Maybe on Monday?"
"I look forward to it. Ladies." He nods his head to us and then saunters out the door.
"Fuck, Rose! Edward is going to freak out," I whisper-yell.
"Why would he freak out?" Alice asks.
"I don't think he really likes James." No, it's more than that. He looked like he was going to pop a vein or something when I mentioned his name last night. At least, I think that's what I remember.
"What do you mean, Bella?" Rose asks, studying me closely.
"Well, like I said, I met James last night outside the bar when I went looking for Mike. Oh, wait, did you guys see Mike after he left?" I ask. Oh God! Mike! I hope he made it home last night.
"Yeah, we drove his drunk ass home," Rose says.
"Oh, good. I'm glad you found him." Rose nods and rolls her eyes. "So, I had just met James, and then Edward kind of appeared out of nowhere. James took off before Edward could see him." I rack my brain trying to remember the brief exchange I had with James last night. Stupid shooter game clouding my memory. "Edward got all weird when I told him I thought the guy's name was James," I explain, taking a much needed sip of coffee.
"Bella, let's just stick with one guy at a time, shall we? Jesus, you've gone from a sex draught to two hot guys in less than twenty-four hours. I know you must be horny as hell, but seriously," Alice says, scolding me almost.
"Listen to you two! You guys are always the ones telling me to put myself out there. And for the record, I'm not interested in James. He's just some creepy guy I hardly know, who now, apparently, is donating some mystery art, thanks to you, Rose," I say. God these two are unbelievable sometimes.
"Yeah, well, I think it's safe to say he's interested in you," Rose says knowingly.
"I don't care, Rose," I say vehemently. Rose shakes her head, acknowledging that I'm going on my last nerve, and thankfully, she drops the conversation.
I sip my coffee and stare out the window just in time to see James and Jane walk past, her arms flailing while he looks beyond annoyed. He turns his eyes to the window and they lock on mine. He offers me a dark, smug smile and then disappears down the street. I try to shake off the disturbing feeling, while Alice goes on to Rose about some of the auction details.
"We'll be starting the final push for attendees next week. Hopefully your article will generate enough buzz for a sell out," Rose says enthusiastically.
Alice nods her head and then checks her BlackBerry. "Oh! I've got to meet Jazz. We're scouting locations for one of his photo shoots this afternoon," she chirps, jumping up and gathering her bags. "Have fun tonight, Bella. I want a full report in the morning."
"Sounds good. Remember, dinner tomorrow," I remind her. She waves and disappears out the door.
Rose and I stay for a few more minutes, discussing the upcoming advertising for the auction before I feel last night's insanity finally catch up with me. I say a quick goodbye to Rose and drive back to the house, dropping my bags at the front door. Silence greets me, and I feel the emptiness of my house and my life overtake me.
I'm completely exhausted, my headache escalating from a dull roar to teetering on the brink of overwhelming. I take a couple of Advil and remove my prosthetic before laying down on the bed, desperate for a much needed rest.
The bed is still in shambles and smells like Edward; a rich, intoxicating mix of maple and cinnamon that immediately washes away the uneasy feelings that linger from my latest edgy encounter with James. I hug the pillow close to me and close my eyes.
Is it possible? Could Edward really be the person I hope he is? Hope. I have to have hope, even when it seems lost. It's all I have left. I'm done pretending that I want to be alone. I'm done feeling empty and numb.
Despite my efforts to stop them, the tears fall silently and I feel lost. I think Edward said last night he had been lost. Maybe together, we can find each other.
Chapter End Notes
Up next, EPOV. How is he going to react to James joining the auction and what has he been up to all day?
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