The Balance of Life

Part One - Discovery

Chapter 3 - Part 1--- Aftermath

Author's Note:

This chapter will jump back and forth between Hell's Gate and the Omatikaya more than previous chapters due to the simultaneous events going on.

4/5/2010: This is a repost because I forgot the Norm's avatar body was back at the Tree of Souls. Apparently so did a lot of readers as no one called me on it. Part 3 of Chapter 2 has also been reworked.

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The shockwave shoved Karen violently back in the command chair. The fact that it had a high back and was bolted to the floor kept her from being thrown forcibly against the wall. Griping the armrests, Karen managed to remain in the chair until the room stopped moving. She bounded out of the chair just as the lights went out and the atmosphere alarm klaxon started wailing. Being alone in the dark was not one of her favorite choices. Thankfully the command console instrumentation was still giving off a faint glow. Before real panic had time to set in the emergency lights kicked in bathing the lab in harsh highlights and dark shadows.

Having lived at Hell's Gate for the past four years, the repeated safety training she had endured took over and had her heading straight for the cabinet with the emergency exopack's. Fitting the pack to her face she adjusted the head straps and engaged the air flow. Once she was sure she would not suffocate in Pandora's lethal air her concern turned immediately to the driver pods. The drivers would all suffocate if the seals on the pods had been compromised. Grabbing five more exopacks Karen all but ran to the array of pods in the center of the lab. A quick check of the attached control screens showed that all the links were working properly, the human drivers alive and healthy inside.

'Thank God for the independent power backup and free floating suspension mounts,' Karen thought to herself. Making a quick check of all the other occupied pods she was relieved beyond words to find all her drivers were safely cocooned. The painful knots that had been slowly growing in her gut started to ease off.

Suddenly Karen realized that she was the only one up and moving around the lab. Snatching three of the exopacks from the desk she had dumped them on, she hurried to the door of the prep room. Stepping through the door she literally tripped across Max's body. He was in the early stages of atmospheric poisoning. Quickly she slipped an exopack over his face and engaged the air flow. Not waiting to see if he would regain consciousness she turned to Ron who was just a few feet away, slumped against the wall. Ron's eyes were open, his breath coming in short pants. Holding the pack against his face she waited for his breathing to steady out which it quickly did. Acknowledging her, he adjusted the head straps to hold it in place.

"Susan!" Ron gasped out turning to look at the overturned gurney.

Susan's legs were sticking out from under the gurney which was being held up by a portable pump. If the pump had not been there to break the fall, the gurney would have likely broken multiple bones, or worse, if it had landed directly on Susan. Karen quickly looked beneath the toppled gurney to make sure Susan was not pinned. Seeing nothing, she grabbed Susan by the ankles and slowly pulled her out from under the gurney. Once Susan's head was clear, she placed an exopack over her face and started the air flow. When Karen looked at her hand after adjusting the head straps she saw that her fingers were stained with blood.

Placing her fingers against Susan's throat she desperately tried to find a pulse. After several failed attempts she finally felt it. It was weak but steady. Carefully lifting Susan's head she tried to gage just how badly Susan was bleeding. Thankfully, she didn't detect any steady flow, mostly just blood soaked into her hair. It was too dark under the gurney to see just how much blood Susan might have lost. Knowing next to nothing about what to do for human trauma, Karen hoped that it was nothing more serious than a hard knock to the head.

Turning her attention back to Ron she found that he had moved over to where Max was lying, gently trying to rouse him. Karen felt some of the weight on her heart lift as Max began to stir.

"Max, can you hear me?" Ron asked, as he checked Max for broken bones or other traumas.

"How many of me do you see?" Ron asked after Max grunted a reply to his first question.

"Just one now…for moment there I could see two of you," Max answered, his voice getting stronger.

"Just lie still for a bit," Ron suggested, giving Max's shoulder a friendly squeeze.

"Ron, Susan has blood on the back of her head. She has a pulse. It's weak but it's there."

"Let's get her up on the gurney," Ron said as he got to his feet.

At first Karen didn't think Ron was going to be able to stand. But after placing one hand against the wall and taking several deep breathes he seemed to steady out.

"Grab the far end of the gurney, will you?" Ron asked as he moved to take the nearest end.

When Karen moved to do as Ron asked, she noticed the body of the clone slumped in the shadow. At first it startled her to see a naked man lying there, all but apparently dead. When it registered that he wasn't wearing a mask she started to panic, but then quickly remembered that the clone was designed to breathe Pandora's air.

"We'll get to him later," Ron said when he saw where Karen's attention was focused. "Right now our priority is Susan."

"Yes, of course. Ready?"

"On three," Ron commanded.

The gurney was damn heavy, or so it seemed to Karen, but they managed to set it back on its wheels. While Ron was locking the gurneys wheels, Karen came around to crouch down beside Susan who was still out cold.

"I'll make sure her head and neck are supported. You get her legs," Ron directed as he bent down and slid one arm under her neck the other just above her waist.

Once again on the count of three Ron and Karen carefully placed Susan on the righted gurney. Max had managed to stand and had moved to stand beside the gurney as Ron began to examine the extent of Susan's injuries.

As Karen was backing away from the gurney to give Ron and Max more room to work, the comm-unit came to life with Buck's frantic voice filling the room.

"Can anybody hear me? Is anyone there?" Buck's voice screamed.

Leaping to the console, Karen jammed the talk switch with her thumb. The shear panic in his voice was unmistakable. She had never heard Buck sound so scared.

"Buck, were here. What's wrong?"

"It's Andy!" Buck all but screamed his voice cracking. "During the earthquake, or whatever that was, one of the AMP suits fell over on top him. I think he's dead. Pull him out now!"

Karen didn't even wait to reply, she was half way to the door by the time Buck had finished. Racing as fast as she could she went straight to Andy's pod. One look at the control panel told her that he was in serious neurological trouble. After slamming the red abort button she quickly retrieved an exopack, ready to place it on Andy's face as soon as his pod was open. It seemed like a lifetime as his pod unlatched its seals and slowly opened on its own.

Even before the pod was fully open Karen could see that Andy was convulsing violently, his whole body shaking with it. Lifting the sensor screen Karen fought to hold the exopack to Andy's face. He was shaking so hard it was almost impossible to keep a good seal around the edge of the mask.

'MAX! GET IN HERE!"

Karen was just about to scream for Max again when he was at her side.

"Get the crash cart, I'm losing him." Karen's voice pitched several octaves.

"No, he needs phenobarbital to counteract the seizure," Max answered.

"Whatever the hell he needs, get it into him now."

The sixty seconds it took Max to retrieve the phenobarbital was the longest minute of Karen's life. Andy continued to shake violently from the seizure that the death of his avatar had imprinted on his human brain. This had always been one of the big risks of being an avatar driver. Linking your human brain so completely with the avatar body meant that it suffered just like the physical avatar's brain did.

"Hold his arm as steady as you can," Max ordered as he readied the injection.

Letting go of the exopack Karen held Andy's arm with both hands while Max was able to get most of the drug into Andy's bloodstream. Releasing his arm she went back to holding the mask to Andy's face as best she could.

'It's not working," Karen said after thirty seconds went by without any improvement in Andy's condition.

"It takes time for the drug to work, especially when the seizure is this severe."

"It better start working soon or we're going to lose him. Can you give him more?"

"I gave him as much as I dared. Any more could be lethal."

For the next several minutes Karen and Max stood at the side of Andy's pod praying for a miracle. At the thought that this could just have easily been Norm, Karen felt a deep shudder run up and down her spine. There was no way in hell that she could handle that.

While Max and Karen looked on helplessly, the other pods began to disengage. Buck was the first to exit his pod, making his way to stand beside Karen. Abby and John arrived close on his heels. Karen glanced up when the door to the lab opened and Norm and Gary walked in. They came straight over to Andy's pod, Norm moving to stand behind Karen.

"Oh my God," Abby cried, looking down at Andy's convulsing body.

"What have you done for him?" Norm asked, wrapping his arm around Abby who was now leaning against him.

"Phenobarbital, as much as his body weight could take," Max answered.

Before Norm could respond, Andy's body jerked hard, and then lay still. Gently placing his fingers against Andy's throat Max tried to find a pulse.

"He's gone," Max added a few seconds later. The psionic link transferred the full impact of the trauma from the avatar brain to his human brain. It was just too much for his brain to absorb.

Numb from the shock of watching someone she had come to know very well over the past three years, Karen turned and buried her face in Norm's chest.

"This isn't your fault," Norm said, as he gently stroked his hand up and down her back. "It isn't anybody's fault."

"I know," Karen replied, her voice weak. "But he's still dead, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is," Norm added, his own thoughts totally conflicted by wanting to be human and Na'vi at the same time.

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'Leave him be," Mo'at said as she grabbed her daughter's arm before she could go after Jake. "He as angry, with us, and with himself, mostly with what has been shoved on him without wanting it. If you go after him he may take his anger out on you. This he would regret when he has time to see that our way is not wrong, just different from that of the Sky People."

"I should be able to comfort him. He should not have to bear this pain alone."

"He is a man. For him the pain is his to bear. He will not thank you for wanting to ease his pain. In time he will share it with you. You are young and do not fully understand the ways of men. When you have lived as long as I you will understand better. Not completely, just better than you do now."

"Since I cannot help Jake, we should see who we can help."

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At that moment Jake was doubled over retching what was left of his morning meal. The enormity of what he had just done weighed on him so heavily that he could barely breathe. His stomach was so tightly knotted he could actually feel it under his skin. He had killed a child, a defenseless child who couldn't even plead for his own life. Just because the child was very likely to die didn't make it right. This wasn't some comrade in arms deal where each promised not to let the other die in pain. There was no attempt to try and dig out around the boy's legs to see if they were completely crushed. No hope, so just send him on his way to Eywa. Frick, he was beginning to detest this Eywa knows best crap. The Na'vi were just of bunch of brainwashed sheep. As soon as you were no longer fit or incapable of living a useful life, off you go to be with Eywa. Being with Eywa was not all that the people thought it to be. He had been there, hadn't he? Not them! No, it definitely wasn't something he was looking forward to again.

As his stomach emptied, he felt as though his soul was empting right along with it. He could see Mayteo's face in his mind even with his eyes open. He prayed that he would always see that face. After what he had done he deserved to see that face for the rest of his fricking miserable life. Guilt piled on top of despair, layer by layer until Jake felt as though his heart had turned to stone.

Turning away and stumbling back several steps Jake fell to his knees. His throat ached viscously, his eyes we so filled with tears that he could barely see. When the image of a young girl appeared before him he thought he was probably hallucinating. As the young girl moved towards him he felt as though he were drugged, watching her in slow motion. Surely no child would approach him. He was a killer on innocent children. No one would want to be with him.

When the young girl wrapped her slender arms around him, laying her cheek lightly against his chest, the damn inside Jake broke. Wrapping his arms around the girl he let the storm of his ravaged emotions run free. As wave after wave of pain washed through and out of him he became slowly aware that the young girl was speaking to him.

"My Jake…my Jake…I see you…I am here…I am with you…I will always be with you…I feel your pain…I feel your sorrow…Share it with me…let me help you."

Neytiri looked at the strongest, bravest man she knew on his knees with Ralu's face pressed to his chest, their arms wound tightly around each other. She had seen Ralu head into the forest just as she and her mother returned to where most of the injured were being tended to. Not wanting Ralu to be off on her own Neytiri had followed her, catching up just in time to see Jake drop to his knees and Ralu run to him. When Jake began to tremble, tears freely flowing down his face, as Ralu tried to comfort him, Neytiri found herself brought to her own knees. The love that she felt for this man, this child was so achingly beautiful that she couldn't even begin to hold it insider of her. She wanted to go to them, to embrace them in her love. She wanted it so badly that she could taste it. Instinctively she knew that just now Jake needed the healing that only a child could offer. Especially this one very, very special child.

"Ralu…" Jake could only force the child's name passed his lips. No other words would come.

As the storm began to fade Jake became more and more aware of Ralu. Of the quiet comfort she freely offered. This small miracle of love was holding him together. Without her he was afraid that he would shatter into a million pieces. Hugging Ralu more firmly against him Jake glanced up to see Neytiri just a few paces in front of him.

"I…see…you," he managed to say, Ralu's comfort having managed to loosen his throat muscles and vocal chords.

"I…see you, too," Jake added when Ralu looked up at him, her eyes full of love and wisdom well beyond her years.

Holding out a hand Jake beckoned for Neytiri to come to them.

Kneeling beside Jake, with Ralu between them, Neytiri lowered her forehead to lean gently, lightly against Jake's. She could feel both Jake's and the child's hearts beating, almost as though they were one. Tilting her head she gently laid her lips on his. She could taste the salt from his tears which only endeared him more to her. Looking down at the child held firmly between them Neytiri lowered her lips to Ralu's.

"Neytiri…" Jake began

"There is no need for words." Neytiri placed her fingers to Jakes lips. "Family needs no words. We are family. We will always know what is needed of and from each other."

"We are?" Jake asked, glancing from Neytiri to Ralu and back.

"Yes, we are. Mother spoke with Ralu's aunt and uncle. They believed it would be in her best interest for her to live with us. Be part of us."

"Did you hear that Ralu?" Jake asked, some of his spirit returning.

"Yes, I heard," she replied hugging both Jake and Neytiri at the same time.

"You don't seem very surprised," Neytiri added, because of what Ralu hadn't said.

"I knew we were going to family," Ralu replied easily. "I saw it in my dreams. Eywa told me that I would have a new mother and father. I just had to be patient."

Ralu noticed when Jake and Neytiri exchanged looks of puzzlement, but decided now was not the time to tell them what else she had seen in her dreams.

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