Xsecretwriter: Thank you... I'm glad you like it
SwarmOfFanGirls: as always thanks for you lovely review...
Oke sorry for the delay you all... but my friend stayed a little longer then I expected and then my sister came to visit and it was all a bit hectic. I'm back now and I hope this longish chapter somehow makes up for the wait a little... sooo here it goes, have fun you guys...
Were you born with that growl or was it taught over the years? I can't quit figure you out. I see you're on your way back and quickly light the fire underneath the cauldron. You sit back down placing the ingredients on the table. I silently grab some preparing them for the potion we were supposed to make. You watch for a minute before your hand gently pushes mine away and you correct the mistake I was about to made. Where you normally would make a big deal about what a looser I am that I can't even get together a simple potion, this incident goes by uncommented. You just continue with the potion seeming not to notice my stare and intend on avoiding any sort of conversation. At the end of class we put our potion with the rest and you join up with your friend laughing and joking while I meet up with Hermiony and Ron "you survived" Ron only half jokes.
The next few days go by without much of fuss. We have a lot of homework and school plus my friends and quiditch take up most of my time. There is a big match between both our houses in a few days and we spent a lot of time training. I do worry sometimes when I see you around school. Have you cut yourself again? Probably… it's a very addictive habit. It's the night before the game and at diner you again barely eat. I wonder what's wrong but don't get much chance to think about this as Hermiony asks me a question. I glance over at you one last time before turning to my bushy-haired friend and answer.
The next night as the game is about to start I notice your unease, no matter how hard you try to hide it. I see your hand tremble ever so slightly as you grab your broom and you gaze wanders to the crowd. I see your father sitting next to professor Snape and frown. I see you sigh but it's not long till the match is in full swing and I'm caught up in trying to catch the snitch. Your job as well. You shoot by me in the race for the snitch but in your haste you miss it by just a centimeter and I'm able to catch it instead. We won… I'm excited as we dismount our brooms and I'm practically jumped by my teammates. Your team scowls annoyed and you sneer at us. To me though, it's not convincing as your father stands with Snape discussing something. For the first time I feel bad for winning. I watch you but you just hang with you teammates and friends.
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I am so relieved when class is over and I'm glad it went by without much fuss. The next few days things seem to revert back to normal and I'm grateful for the schoolwork and quiditch practice to keep me level and sane. I notice your stares and worried looks as we pass each-other in the hallways, but I refuse to do something about them. I convince myself I don't need your pity nor want your help. I've been alone all my life, without help, why would I need any now?
Then the match begins and before we mount our broom I scan the crowd as they cheer and yell. I completely freeze as I see my uncle sitting with my father… what is he doing here? I swallow the lump in my throat. This is supposed to be my sanctuary, my safe haven… and now he is here - again -? This just wasn't fair. As if I haven't got enough trouble to cover things up when I return from a holiday, he is going to make this even more difficult.
I had kept my external shell though as the good little boy I am, and was grateful no-one seemed to have noticed… except for you, fucking Harry bloody Potter. I growl slightly shaking my head… did you have to stick your nose into everything? We mount our broom and I just pray to whomever will listen that we will win. I give my father one last glance and then I'm off. High-speed, I've quickly spotted the snitch and rush of after it. I nearly catch it when I realize I'm to fast and can't quit get my hand around it. I curse and just pray for another chance. Not a minute later however you've caught the golden ball and the game is over.
We dismount my team joining me at my side disappointed. I catch a glimpse of my father's disapproving face and sigh… there'll be hell to pay later. I smile as Goyle sais something that is supposed to be funny but I'm unable to get the old man out of my mind. We head to the Slytherin common room and chatter amongst each-other. I'm with Crabbe and Goyle laughing when the portrait swings open. I look up in eyes so much like my own "Draco, follow me" came the dreaded demand. I sigh "yes father" I reply haughty as I follow the older man out the door.
The walk is silent until we come in a deserted part of the castle "What is it father?" I ask as we stop. He turns to me, eyes eerie calm as he backhands me across the face "How often must I tell you? Don't speak unless spoken too" he hissed. I smirk inwardly "I apologize" I whisper hanging my head my blond hair falling in my face. Malfoy senior smirks "now explain yourself" he orders "You lost, once again". I suck in a breath "I'll do better next time…" I promise knowing there is nothing I can do or say that will stop whatever is coming.
My father stepped closer to me threateningly his hands balled into fists "Well.. let's make sure of that now, shall we?" the man sneered bringing his fist down in my stomach and I stager back into the wall doubling over but I keep my expression blank, just the way I've been taught. My father brings his cane down on my shoulder as I double over. I swallow and clench my jaw but don't make a sound my eyes only showing indigence. "You're nothing but a little worthless whore…" he hissed near my ear "And that's all you'll ever be good for" I cringe at the harsh words trying very hard to not let them effect me, but I couldn't help it. It is not long after I'm left bleeding on the floor again "Be grateful that you got of this easy" he sneered looking down at me with such disgust that is makes my stomach twist and turn. He was right, of course but, after all these years, I'm well aware of what a 'disgrace I am. Why does he have to keep telling me what I already know?
The cane came down again but I barely even notice anymore my eyes fixed on my father's. I see the coldness in them that I see in my own. I just hope it's not to late for me yet. I climb to my feet as he conceals my new wounds before he walks away. I straighten my back groaning. The wounds for our last encounter hadn't properly healed yet. I grit my teeth swallow and walk back to the common room where Crabbe and Goyle are waiting for me like the good little lapdogs they are. I ignore their questions as I'm tired and just want to go to bed. They exchange a glance but shrug and go to bed as well.
The next morning I'm late and so I skip breakfast, I'm not hungry anyway. On my way to class I feel a strong hand on my shoulder and every muscle in my body tenses when I'm pulled into an empty classroom. I'm pushed in a chair and can just barely suppress a yelped of pain. I look up into green eyes and frown "What the hell are you doing?" I hiss my anger rising. You just give me a look "How bad is it?" you ask concern in your voice. I sigh in defeat "It's fine Potter" I growl. You look me up and down "Maybe you should see Madame Pomfrey?" you suggest. I shake my head "And tell her …?" I question with a smirk. You sigh heavily "What about the truth?" you simply state. I shake my head "You still don't get it do you?" I hiss "Do you have any idea what he'd do if he found out I blabbed?" I let that linger for a minute.
You grumble frustrated "Stand up to him" you sigh and I snigger "you think I haven't tried Potter? Why do you think I haven't told anyone? My father is a very powerful man, with even more powerful friends, nobody crosses him and get's away with it" I run a hand through my hair leaning my head back I'm just so tired of this and you meddling in my affairs isn't making things any easier.
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"How bad are you hurt" I ask as I watch your exhausted form, head leant back. I wonder what your father did last night. You look up shaking my head "It's no big deal Potter" you sneer and I shake my head "Either you show me, or I'm personally taking that robe of" I warn and you quickly lift your head alarmed as you rise to your feet "Fuck of" you hiss and are about to push passed me. I grab you by your wrist though and spin you around "Just let me see" I practically beg, unsure why I'm so desperate. You sigh about to sneer something but you then hang your head realizing you're in no position to resist or demand anything. You slowly take of your robe and shirt and you mutter an uncover spell and the marks from when I saw you at the lake appeared. There's a new bruise on you stomach and a snake-like bruises on you shoulder and back. Thank haavens that's all since I'm sure the wounds from the time before must still be hurting like hell.
"We're going to be late for class" you say flatly putting you shirt and cloak back on. I glance at the large clock in the hall and nod as we move out of the room. The hallway is deserted as most students are in their respective class-rooms already. Before we enter I watch amazed as you, without trouble, put you mask back in place and slip on your trademark smirk as we slip into class and sit down at our tables. Ron gives me a questionably look but it's not long till class starts.
I'm glad when the school-day is over and I can hang and relax with Ron and Hermiony for a bit that is until Hermiony thinks it's time for me and Ron to do our homework. I swear that girl doesn't think of anything else then school. It makes me smile though since it is always just nice to know someone cares. She helps us though and luckily it doesn't take too long.
At diner you keep to yourself and you hardly say a word although I'm sure Crabbe and Goyle babble enough for the three of you. I just am at a loss of how to help you but damned I'm not giving up. If something isn't done soon, you're gonna end up dead. I look at my two friends but know they can't nor would want to help. I sigh inwardly… what am I to do? I can't take on Lucius by myself, can I? You make your way out of the great hall alone and I shake my head, you're starting to loose it… I wonder why now though, is it because you secret is out? I wonder if I should follow? Maybe you need to vent? I excuse myself and head of after you.
I find you in a nearby bathroom. I make enough noise upon entering as to not scare you. You're staring into a mirror your eyes blank. You sigh as you slowly turn around to face me "What is it now Potter?" you ask annoyed to be caught of-guard once again. I simply shrug "Wanted to see if you were alright…" I explain just then realizing how lame that sounded. "Bloody perfect" you smirk without humor. I now notice the small dagger in your hands "Draco" I say softly, reaching out my hand to take the small weapon. You quickly pull away though "Don't" I plead softly but you just turn your head you fingers lightly trailing the beautiful silver handle like it's a lifeline.
I take a deep breath "You're going to kill yourself one of these days…" I say softly and you look at me with brimming eyes "And the bad would be?" you ask and fear envelopes my heart but I don't press the matter, not yet. "So, do you know if he is coming back any time soon?" I ask. You shake your head "I really hope not" you sigh "I wonder what he and Sev had to discuss" you wonder absent-mindly. Worry in your eyes. I shrug "Beats me" I say "Maybe he just wanted another excuse to get to you" I offer. You look thoughtful "Maybe…" you then agree "I'm sorry…" I offer lamely. You give a small smile shaking you head "Not your fault Harry…" you reply and I'm almost blown away, did I hear that right? Did you really call me Harry or did my ears deceive me? You turn your head once more "Can you please leave?" you ask softly still twiddling the dagger between your fingers. I sigh "Draco…" but I then think better of it, we've come far tonight, and I don't want to push you away by pressuring you. I nod and walk out the restroom. At the door I glance over my should "be careful" I whisper before I walk out the door.
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Did I really just say Harry? Why? I grit my teeth… I'm loosing it. "Can you please leave?" I ask. I just need to be alone. "Draco…" you start but don't finish. Then you turn and walk towards the door "Be careful" you say so soft that I almost missed it and it bring a lump in my throat, no-one's ever been concerned for me. I nod, I don't really want to. When I said 'and the bad would be' I meant it. I'm just so sick and tired of this and death would bring such release. I sigh as I watch you leave. I look at myself in the mirror the knife slicing across my skin drawing my own blood once again. I'd picked up this habit a few years ago and it once again proved I was my own worst enemy.
About an hour later I was back in the common room finishing my homework. I don't even know why I'm bothering… It's not like it's ever good enough, not with the fucking Granger around. I shake my head but do the work anyway. As I know either Crabbe or Goyle is going to need me explaining it to them. I finish quickly and start reading a book while the others around me talk about one thing or another. Somehow I can't seem to care. As predicted Vincent and Creg find me and they have a few questions about their work and so my day ends by playing a freaking tuteror….
Thanks you for reading everybody... I hope you liked it. Ooh... let me know of you want shorter, more frequent chapters, or longer ones with a bit of wait between the up dates...
love
xxx Malou